The Emancipation of a Fuckboy - Chapter 57: Chapter 57

Dominic
I became numb instantaneously. The written words in front of my sight seemed to have googly eyes and maniac smiles and they are more than ready to make fun of me. I'm not even hallucinating but they were all mad laughing at me. I quickly returned the piece of paper to where I picked them up and covered it with Valentine's suit. I had to take a moment to pinch myself in order to make sure that I'm not having a nightmare. Unfortunately, it turns out everything's real. It was all fucking real. I couldn't think straight, I feel like my tongue just got tangled and I ended up grabbing my phone and wallet before eventually storming out of the room without even looking back. And what's the point of looking back when everything just became blurry and painful on so many levels? I picked up my pace faster and quickly found myself out of the house before eventually walking to who knows where. I don't have any idea where to go or what to do. I guess getting out of that place was the first thing that came through my mind and I'm not even sure if it's the right thing to do.
Just when I thought I've already had the twist of my day comes this sicker and even sharper curve of events.
"How to Destroy a Fuckboy"
Those words were stuck inside my head like a strong perfume that won't fade. There's a lot of questions floating inside my head like how did that list got into his hand or is he planning on doing the same thing to me. I thought that cursed list was gone the day I destroyed Valentine's heart but clearly I am mistaken. I stopped walking after five minutes and finally looked back only to realize that I was already far away from the house. At this point, I don't know what to do, where else to go, or even who else to call. I guess I'd rather hurt than go back inside and slap the hell out of Valentine's sleeping ass.
I ended up booking a taxi and after waiting for another five minutes, the car finally showed up.
"Good evening sir. Where's your destination?" The driver asked as soon as I got inside.
"I don't know," I spat as I began to lose a sense of reality.
"Are you okay?" He asked looking at me from the rear-view mirror.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied blandly.
"Good. But where are you heading to?" He inquired politely rephrasing the first question that he just asked.
"Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm just thinking about this other thing." I uttered. "Uhm, can you take me to the nearest bar please!" I said and the driver nodded.
The drive was almost thirty minutes long but I feel like I've been sitting in the backseat of this taxi for over a year. I liked it though. There's something about just plainly sitting here, quietly staring outside the window and silently feeling the pang of the confusing pain. Leaning my head against the window and staring outside appeared to be a normal thing to do for a hurting person but there seemed to be an unwanted commotion going on inside my head and there's not one single thought that I could focus on because everything just keeps on popping off one after the other. The driver had to get my attention several times before I even realize that we've finally arrived at the nearest bar. Thankfully, the hard-working guy possesses a thick skin of patience that he didn't have to shout or even get angry at me just to get my full attention. I paid the driver and gave him a generous tip for the trouble before stepping out of his car.
The night felt expectedly cold and if this was a normal night then I'd be shivering to my death. I turned around just after the taxi left to see a huge sign. "Cowboy's Town," The sign said, designed with a cowboy silhouette, and from the looks of its façade, the theme inside seems to be honky-tonk. I took a heavy sigh and with a pained heart, I staggered inside.
The place wasn't as jam-packed as I would have expected but it wasn't empty either. I scanned the place with my eyes as I slowly walked towards the bar. The place looked exactly like it's from a set of a wild west film with all the cowboy's hat and shotguns and ox heads displayed everywhere. Even the crews are wearing old western clothing in order to fit in with the fantasy that this bar is serving. I almost feel like I'm an extra in a 60's movie.
I chose the loneliest chair at the very edge of the bar just because I wanted to be alone. My chest felt extremely heavy and I feel like my heart is going to explode from the inside out at any moment. My eyes went momentarily to the deer head hanging on the wall and it appeared to be staring back at me as if it knew what I was going through. I brushed the feeling off of my shoulder and called the attention of the nearest waitress. I ordered a shot of whiskey hoping I'd get drunk fast enough so I can at least forget about everything for the whole night. I took the glass and poured it down my throat and the burning sensation of the alcohol didn't fail to make me gulp with such pleasure. I ordered three more shots and the waitress was more than glad to serve all three shots at once.
It's kind of ironic that I wanted to forget about everything that I learned today and yet I keep on thinking about it. I almost thought this day was the best day I've had in years but I'm convinced that it's a mix of best and worst. Valentine filled my heart and stomach with rainbows and butterflies earlier only to surprise me with a storm. Well, technically, I was the one who found that storm but still, he was the one responsible. There's a part of me that wants to put the blame on Valentine but the other part of me clearly knows that I'm still the reason for it.
"What if I didn't found that list?" I asked myself staring at the glass of alcohol laid in front of me. I'd probably be curled up inside Valentine's arms. I'd probably be enjoying the comfort and warmth that his presence offered. I'd be sleeping peacefully knowing that Valentine will be mine at any moment. But fuck it! There's no what if now.
I never thought of Valentine taking his revenge on me ever and although he has every right to do it, it still felt impossible. I know he can be a short fuse most of the time but he's not the kind of person who takes deliberately calculated revenge, especially this one, making someone fall in love just to break their heart. It may sound like a piece of cake but it's actually pretty delicate to execute and I know that for a fact after everything.
I picked up the second glass of whiskey and poured it down my throat. It's getting into me that karma has no menu, you get served what you deserve. This is what I deserve.
I fished my phone from my pocket and went straight to my gallery. We took a lot of photos this day and I'm supposed to keep them in my memory. I am happy and he was happy. Or maybe not. Maybe Valentine was just faking all of the things that he did. Of course, he's faking it. I'm just shocked that he's good at it and I never thought he had it in him.
"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath.
I drank the third glass of whiskey and a lot of things are suddenly making sense. My birthday party surprise. The date. The kiss. He even introduced me to his estranged mother as his boyfriend. I just thought that one wasn't calculated, everything that happened felt genuine but it still goes with the list so perfect.
I was about to start checking all the photos we took in order to delete them when someone approached me.
"Hey there, Mr. lonely!" I turned my head to see a woman smirking at me.
"Ha....hi?" I said almost uncertain.
"You're cute. I spotted you when you walked in and I've got to admit you're it." She said and I almost puked about the thought of a woman hitting on me. "My name's Mildred by the way."
"Nick," I spat. "What do you mean I'm it?" I asked confused by this it thing. "Listen, in case you haven't noticed I am...." I was about to pull some kind of attitude.
"Gay!" She chirped plainly cutting me off. "I know you're gay."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad you noticed that."
"Well, I wasn't actually hitting on you or anything if that's what you are thinking. I just thought you might be a big help for us."
"I'm confused." I shook my head in utter confusion.
"You see, my best friend over there is about to get married," Mildred began to explain as she pointed towards their table.
"Ah, a bachelorette party."
"Yes, yes. We are having our bachelorette party but there's a big problem,"
"And what's that?"
"Argh. I hate to admit it but we're actually not much of a drinker or a party-goer." The woman clarified and I'm not sure if I'm following her direction.
"Really? With that nipple and that outfit girl?" I said blatantly pointing at her spaghetti strap. Clearly, she's not wearing a bra and she's just wearing a spaghetti strap. I'm confused as to why she's not much of a party-goer or something. "But anyway, how can I help?"
"Why don't you come to our table and let's talk about it,"
"Uhm, sure. Why not." This is the weirdest but I'm not even going to complain. This is a great distraction to take me away from my thoughts. "But wait, I just have to pay for my drink."
"Oh, don't even think about that." The woman uttered and went on to pay for my drinks.
Mildred pulled me over to their table and introduced me to her friends. They told me they were having a problem about where to have fun next and of course, I'm just the right person for it. I'm not mad that they judged me for that, maybe I look like someone who usually party, and it is true. Somehow, with all the pain and confusion that I've been feeling, I'm up for this shit. I could definitely use some distraction so I won't kill myself. We had a lot to drink before I eventually decided to invite them to this male strip club and much to my surprise everyone was on board for it.
I was already drunk by the time we reached the male strip club that I suggested. The ladies were all excited and even I was somehow geared up to show up here. In my head, I was expecting to see Lyndon. I know I've been ghosting him for the past few weeks but I don't know what's taking over me now. We were all escorted towards our table and my eyes began to search the perimeter for any signs of Lyndon. He wasn't on stage so I guess he's hiding at his quarters or something. The ladies were swooning all over the guys, even Michelle, the bride-to-be was drooling.
An hour passed by and I'm already wasted as fuck. The alcohol finally made its magic happen where everything seems to pass by in a blink of an eye. I've been shouting and screaming with these newfound friends and I didn't even realize what happened after I woke up the next morning. Lyndon was comfortably spooning me and as I let my eyes adjust to the daylight, it has come to my attention that I brought him home.