The Emancipation of a Fuckboy - Chapter 64: Chapter 64

Dominic
The sun was still up high as I was taking my miserable path home. Walking appeared to be the only answer for me to slowly take everything in and not break down at the very same time. The euphony of suffering seemed to be painted on my face, but it sure was playing immensely inside my head. By the time I got to the penthouse, I was extremely exhausted both emotionally and physically. I threw myself on the bed and slept almost instantly. When I woke up, the sun had already set, and the skies were dyed with a striking purple hue. I took a shower and did what I always do. I stood under the cold shower for about ten minutes, and I thought I'm not going to cry, but my tears cascaded along with the water. It took me almost thirty minutes before I finally decided to get out of the shower, and even though I felt refreshed, I clearly know that I'm already withered on the inside. I immediately thought of going out drinking, and when I say I'm withered on the inside, drinking is definitely the answer to that. I just had a cup noodle and had to storm out of the building before my dad gets home and possibly ask me about the progress of my job application.
I decided to go and check the old bar where I used to drink. I was just gone for a few months, and I'm sure Ozzy will remember me. I missed the old place where I used to find cute guys to mess around with, though now, I'm not planning on doing that. I just want to drink this pain away. I know I haven't opened my test result yet, and it would be careless of me to mess around when I could possibly be positive for the virus.
I got to the bar, and my eyes instantly went to the counter. I was hoping to see Ozzy behind, but I was more than disappointed to see a different person. I paused for a while and thought of going to some other bar, but then I remembered I came here to drink the pain away. I took a quick sigh and inched my way to my favorite spot. The place looked exactly the same as much as I could remember. I ordered a bottle of beer, and I expected to drink it slowly, just like the way it should be consumed, but I poured it down my throat like a soft drink. I finished the beer in less than five minutes, and I saw the way the bartender looked at me. He was somehow terrified that I'm consuming the beer like it's just water, and that led me to order something real hard.
I decided to order whiskey, and after a few shots, my bladder said that I needed to excrete that beer waste. I staggered towards the bathroom, and after I was done, I was surprised to see Ozzy behind the counter.
"Hey," I said, calling for the attention of Ozzy the moment I returned to my spot. He still looked the same, except he looked a bit brighter even in this dim light. There's this noticeable brilliant glow in his aura that I've never noticed before.
"Nick?!" He was obviously surprised to see me, much like I was surprised to see him.
"Yes, it's me!" I replied.
"I'm surprised that you're here. I thought you left the country?" He asked.
"I did," I uttered, taking the bottle and subsequently taking my first gulp. "A lot of things happened back home and I had just to run away to forget someone."
"Ah, I see. You going through a heartbreak huh?" Ozzy said. I immediately asked myself, do I sound like that? Do I look like I'm going through a heartbreak? I guess it's painted on my face.
"I guess so, yeah!" I didn't want to think about it, but I also know I needed to talk about this with someone at some point. Yhannie knows what's happening, but she's all the way across the pond, and talking via phone call just doesn't feel the same as talking about it in person. Perhaps this is just that moment that I'm looking for. Ozzy seemed to be the perfect candidate for me to let this out. I know we are not as close as best friends, but we are at least above acquaintances. And he doesn't know who Valentine is, which makes things so much easier. All I have to do is open my mouth and talk.
"You know you're lucky I got here half an hour early before my shift starts." Ozzy uttered. He grabbed a high chair and sat right in front of me. "I'm actually intrigued to know what's going on,"
"Well..." I paused for a few seconds to prepare myself before eventually opening my mouth to spill the truth. "I met him all the way back in high school. We went through some crazy shit and I deliberately broke his heart. I played him, you know high school stuff." I went on. It's definitely embarrassing to say that I'm the one who broke Valentine's heart, and yet I'm the one who's hurting. "I had the option to not break his heart but I still chose to break it. It's complicated but I still hurt him."
"But did you ever loved him?" Ozzy asked. I was kind of expecting that he'd ask some specifics, but I guess he doesn't want to get me to talk about it in detail.
"At first, I was just playing this crazy game and I was confident that I won't fall for him but I got to know the real him. He was so popular for a being a jerk and a f***boy but he was so much more than what people think he is." I paused and inhaled. I felt a pang in my chest, and I tried to cover that up by taking a shot of whiskey. "I fell in love with the real him but it's already too late. Years later I met him again and I can't deny the fact that I'm still in love with him and so I wanted to take him back."
"And then what happened?"
"I almost got him back. Almost." It's getting harder for me to speak. It's like there's this lump in my throat, but I know I just have to speak this all out. "I never moved on from him in the first place but then when he started showing interest in me again, I knew that I can't let go of him but then I found out that..." I stopped. I looked away from Ozzy. This is the part that I don't want to talk about.
"And then you found out that?" Ozzy's attention was fixated on me. There's a small part of me that wants to let that be the end of the story.
"And then I found out that he's playing me exactly the way I played him back in high school." I spat eventually.
"What the?!"
"But..." Ozzy was about to go on a rant or something. His face changed quickly, and I knew I had to cut him off. "But there's this last minute moment where he admits everything to me. He said he was sorry for trying to play me and he realized that he... and he realized that he..." I paused thinking about the following words that I'm about to say. "he realized that he truly loves me." I spat, and I feel like something had just hit me.
Valentine truly loves me. I know that from the last time that Valentine cried on me, and now that I just spoke that out loud, it's already ringing incessantly like a bell inside my head.
"You know what Nick? I don't mean to be rude but you almost go me there. I was about to rant about that guy your talking about but I don't think you're going through a heartbreak at all." Ozzy said, which made me raise my eyebrows at him. "I'm no expert when it comes to love but I have my own experience too."
"Tell me about it,"
"I used to like this one girl during my college days. She's the most beautiful girl that I've seen in my entire life and I said to myself that I'm going to make her mine. It took me a long while to make her mine and when I finally did, I felt like the happiest man on earth. But of course we had our conflicts too. There was this one time that I caught her cheating and my world was shattered to pieces. She asked for forgiveness but I was so hurt that I didn't give her a second chance."
I sat quietly listening to Ozzy's story, just like how he set his focus on me when I was the one telling my story. Although the place isn't the best place for this kind of conversation because of the constant chattering and the noisy music, I feel like I'm hearing Ozzy's voice clearer and clearer.
"I've been loyal to her and I was so hurt but she didn't give up on me. She kept on apologizing day after day. Several months had gone and she's still trying to get me back until I realized that she may be the most beautiful person both inside and out, yet she's still not perfect. I finally gave her that second chance and she didn't waste it. She proved that she truly loved me and now we are married." Ozzy finished as he showed me his wedding ring. "We just got back from our first honeymoon."
"Really? Wow, congratulations." I chirped.
"You know what, I'm going to take back what I've said earlier." Ozzy spat. "You are going through a heartbreak but this is the kind of heartbreak that you can reverse."
"What do you mean?" I asked, gritting in confusion.
"This heartbreak is all you. I don't know all the details of your story but from what I've heard, you are the one creating that heartbreak for yourself."
"Er," Ozzy's point of view is like a wind blowing all the clouds inside my head. They are all entering my mind one by one, and I'm trying to process them word by word.
"You're maybe hurting from the fact that he tried to play you but he already admitted that he made a mistake and you just refuse to accept that. And then you created this fantasy that you're going through a heartbreak when in fact, you just needed some time to find yourself. He truly loves you and you love him. That's already a match made in heaven considering all of the things that you both went through."
"You're right. That's...... You are damn right!" I yelled in so much excitement.
"Sometimes we create this trust issues because we refuse to be played the same way we played other people."
"Right! Thank you, Ozzy. Thank you!" I chirped. My heart is already racing, and it's not because of the alcohol, but it's because I realized that I needed to do something.
Hearing Ozzy's story and his point of view made a lot of points inside my head, and I'm going to admit that this whole thing is just me and my head.
What am I doing? Why am I running away from Valentine? Why am I even trying to forget him?
I paid for my drinks and even gave Ozzy a generous tip before eventually dashing out of the bar. I took a cab to the penthouse, and once I arrived, I was already shaking on my knees. I feel like l know what to do, but I don't know which one to do first. I entered the space and told myself to stop. I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and gathered all of my thoughts together.
I have to book a flight back home, I told myself. I fished my phone and then tried my best to book the nearest flight with my shaky fingers. I feel so much lucky that I found a flight first thing tomorrow. I threw my phone on the sofa and then rushed to pack my things. There's nothing much to be packed since I didn't unpack most of my things, and it gave me so much time to think about what I'm going to do once I get home. I'm going to find Valentine as soon as possible, and I'm going to tell him that he's everything that I want to be with for the rest of my life.
I didn't get much rest because of exhilaration. As soon as the sun hit the horizon, I was on my way to the airport. My dad was still sleeping when I got up, and I feel terrible that I just left a note for him. I'm sure he'll be upset that I just left, but this is all because I'm about to go back home and take what's rightfully mine. In my head, I was already beating myself up for acting like a bitch. I left Valentine just because I felt betrayed, and I thought I'm going through heartbreak, but I just needed time and someone to talk to. If I had just opened everything up to my mom, she'd probably gave me some of the best advice. I'm sure she'll get angry about the fact that I played Valentine's heart, but if I had just told her everything, this would be a lot easier for me.
I made a huge mistake, and now I'm desperately rushing to make things right before it's too late. I don't want to live the rest of my life regretting all the chances that I missed. I don't want to age alone in regret. I want to live the rest of my life with the man that I love.
By the time the plane landed, I immediately booked a cab back home. I couldn't wait to see Valentine and that feeling of euphoria coursing through my body forced me to convince the driver to drive faster. When we reached the highway, I kept on egging the driver to drive a bit faster, and despite of the speed limit, he was somehow itching to drive like a racer too. My words seemed to give him a license to go against the rule. He stepped on that accelerator like a pro. I buckled my seatbelt just as the rain started to pour. I was so busy checking my phone, and I didn't even notice that the truck in front of us started to lose control and the last thing that I remember was my driver screaming SHIT!