The Evermore Dissociate(Creek) - Chapter 37: Chapter 37

He breathed softly, experiencing ones total serenity, his mind slowly unraveling as he carefully opened his eyes. A barely lit room held his sheltered heart for this very moment. Kept it safe as he breathed in and out, inhale, exhale. This was his bedroom, strangely different but still, this was his bedroom. Enlightened eyes peacefully observed the room. A messy chaos that somehow eased his nerves. His belongings displayed for him to see, for him to touch if he dared to. Tentative fingers brushed over his desk, collecting dust on his pads as he admired the trail left behind. The overdue flicker of his lamp captured his attention, his stare meeting his bedside table that hid itself away in the corner, shades of casted shadows admitting through out the room. So innocently tranquil. But then the greens of his eyes were sightseeing his bed. The unkept covers thrown over, exposing the wrinkled sheets underneath. He wasn't alone, his slow, collective footsteps being counted in his mind, until meeting the foot of the bed.
And then he was smiling, revelling in this newly found sense of contentment as he silently watched Craig sitting on the bed, with his legs crossed and head down as he scrolled through his phone. His blue eyes read the rare events that caught his attention, only to look up when he sensed Tweek's presence. It was in this moment that Tweek realised his mood could've only progressed from there on, because when Craig smiled, when he really smiled and his eyes lit up, Tweek wasn't sure how to breathe. He didn't know how to tame the fluttering inside his stomach as he himself, witnessed such a beautiful thing, such a mesmerising moment that was here only for him.
The soft sheets compressed under the weight of his pale hands as he crawled onto the bed, crossing his legs as he sat opposite his dark haired friend. Neither breaking this intense staring competition that seemed to be happening, and all Tweek knew, was that in this moment in time, he in fact, knew nothing, only the detailed description of Craig's eyes.
There were no words needed to be spoken. The gentle patter of the rain against the window filled the silence, the evermore silence that radiated from wall to wall, filling the static that lived in this room. This room that sheltered not only his heart, but also the beating one within arms reach. That beating heart that had synced with his own. Two timely beats yearning to make the next, to be the first to make the next pulse, but they were in sync, two hearts in one room.
Emerald eyes drifted from blue, lowering to his hand that gripped at the covers beneath him, only to wander to Craig's, still holding onto his phone. Only until the blonde dared himself to move, to reach out and touch the skin of the noirette's knuckles, tracing over the bumps that loosened under his touch.
Tweek shakily breathed, not out of anxiety but out of passion. The tips of his fingers tingling as his stare was casted back to Craig's eyes. The eyes that carefully watched their hands, too captivated by the small movements to even look up, and for some reason, Tweek found himself smiling again.
But this wasn't reality, being mercilessly torn from his sleep by the irritating jabs he was taking to the sides of his stomach, Tweek's bloodshot eyes peeled open with a groan as he looked to his side. Kenny retracted his finger, innocently watching Tweek with his usual grin. Tweek ignored the boy next to him, his main focus was to soar out Craig, yet when he shifted in his seat to look back, Craig's desk was empty, along with the rest of his classmates. Disappointed eyes returned to watch as Kenny stood from his seat, shortly after pushing the chair underneath the table with his foot.
"I fell asleep?"
Kenny was already gathering his things, holding them under his arm as he looked to Tweek expectantly, obviously wanting to get out of this place as soon as possible. He wasn't wearing his usual coat, for obvious reasons,  and if the circumstances were any different, Tweek would've found the sight of Kenny in a grey t-shirt unfamiliar.
"Within the first five minutes." A breathy laugh sounded through his nose.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"You were tired, besides, Mr Gates didn't seem to care. He passed you like five times without saying anything."
Tweek looked down at the table with a small sigh, his hands sliding his books off the table tiredly, before stuffing them into his backpack. Only when he stood, his eyes were left to wander the classroom again, somehow hoping he'd been mistaken and that Craig was truly there, but he wasn't.
The memory of his dream had already began to fade from his mind. Only bits and pieces of it resurfacing as he tried to remember, yet it wasn't the same. The more he tried, the more it seemed too forced, no longer transmitting the once consuming openness it once had.
The classroom door creaked open, with Kenny keeping it that way by propping his shoe against the bottom as he watched Tweek, who was still looking at an empty desk. He could almost hear the distress radiating from Tweek's body as he hooked the strap of his bag over his shoulder, meeting Kenny eyes with a sad smile. He could almost feel the longing as Tweek passed him and headed into the chilly corridors.
By now, the school was mostly empty, aside from the few stragglers moving through the halls, or those with their heads buried in their lockers, one of those people being Clyde. He was unfortunate enough to have a bottom locker, having to awkwardly bend over as he pulled random pieces of paper out, only to toss them back in moments later.
Tweek looked to over to Kenny, but the other blonde had caught on already, his stare down casting to the book trapped under his arm as he pointlessly tapped it with his freehand.  "I'm going to toss this in my locker real quick. I'll be back in a minute."
Tweek nodded approvingly, returning Kenny's smile with a less encouraging one, and watched as the blonde walked away, his shoes squeaking against the shiny flooring. Only once he was out of sight, did Tweek take a shuddered breath, nervously turning to stare at Clyde, who'd managed to pile up a stack of books on the ground beside him. Other than nervously playing with his fingers, Tweek hadn't allowed himself much time to rethink the situation as he started making his way over to Clyde, not wanting to allow himself enough time to back out like a total wimp.
Clyde was one of his best friends, a person he'd grown up with and played dumb childhood games with all those years ago. He was the friend that tried his hardest not to laugh whenever Tweek would fall over during one of their battles, only to shamefully burst out laughing seconds later, then get moody when the same happened to him. He was a person who'd offered Tweek his small, child hand to pull him up from the ground once he'd finally contained himself, only to counteract his previous behaviour by checking his friend for injuries. He was the person that shared so many moments along side Tweek, so many conversations and out of breath laughter that left them feeling complete. But non of that helped Tweek's anxiousness as he stopped beside Clyde, his shoes barely a centimetre from the stack of books that continued to grow as the brunette searched for whatever lost item was underneath them all.
Kenny's back was pressed against the wall, his head slightly peeking around the corner as he watched the scene unfold, listening carefully as Tweek began to speak to Clyde, just barely out of his reach.
"Clyde, I need to talk to you."
Clyde looked over his shoulder, having been unaware of the company until now, slightly squinting with mild anger as he acknowledged Tweek. "Go on."
Tweek sighed anxiously, scanning the corridors and noting they were the only two left around. "I should've told you when you asked. Maybe even before that. I wanted to... I really did, but the way Craig was being, and how complicated it all is, I just couldn't." He spoke on a shaky voice as he ran his fingers through his hair, feeling more distressed than when he'd told Token. "And that's not because I don't trust you, because I do... completely. Just at the time, I couldn't handle anymore people knowing."
Clyde looked back to his locker, slowly putting his books away after he found the watch he'd stashed in there after gym. His eyes closed as he breathed in, growing tired of Tweek's prolonged explanation. "Are you-"
"I told Craig that I like him." Tweek interrupted, pulling at his hair. "Like like' him."
Clydes bushy eyebrows knitted together harshly as his brown eyes slid open. All movement ceased when the words met with his ears. "What the fuck?" He muttered incredulously, retracting his hand from his locker completely as he fully turned to Tweek, standing from his position to question him with his eyes. "Why would you tell him that?"
Tweek held the eye contact, determined not to give way from his stupidly trembling knees, but the look Clyde was sending his way was making it hard, perplexed yet the anger was still there. "Because I do." He said more quietly than he'd intended to.
Kenny dipped his head back behind cover when the bathroom door flung open beside him. Thankfully the door stop softened the blow, not enough noise being sounded for Clyde and Tweek to hear.
The lanky blonde frowned when Craig Tucker emerged from the bathroom, his head down as he flicked the water from his hands. His face remained straight when he looked back up, a wet middle finger extending to Kenny, flipping him off once he was noticed. The noirette opened his mouth, most likely to make a witty remark, but before he had the chance, Kenny was shushing him. The unusual act caught Craig off guard, only confusing him more when Kenny signalled his fingers behind himself.
Craig raised an unamused eyebrow as Kenny huffed, poking his head out around the corner for a split second, returning to nudge his head in that direction. Already bored with the situation, Craig made a start to leave, yet Kenny's bony fingers grabbed at his forearm, painfully dragging him back. If it wasn't for the familiar voices of his friends, Craig would've punched Kenny right then.
"Christ, can you blame him for kicking off?" Clyde scrutinised. "You probably scared him shitless. Who wants to hear that? Do you even think before you speak?" He didn't mean that, but his mouth wasn't the one thinking during his frustrated phase. With everything going on, his mind was all over the place, and this confession... it caught him off guard. He wished he could take it back the second he saw the look in Tweek's eyes, but he couldn't. "Tweek I," He sighed stressfully.
Tweek's face morphed to one of which he rarely used, anger. His eyebrows came together, his eyes turning cold as his lips pressed in a tight line. "Of course I think before I speak." Tweek spat, literally, a little bit of spit landed on Clyde cheek, but he was too shocked to wipe it away. "I'm thinking all of the fucking time! I-I think about how wrong this all is. About having these feelings for my own friend. I know! I thought of every possible outcome, over and over again until my head felt like it was going to explode! I've thought about how grateful I'd be if time machines were a thing, cause if I'd known the heaviness in my chest was only going to get worse once I told Cr- him, I would've happily settled for a life time of misery. I even had the audacity to think my own god damn friend would understand, to just simply be there for me."
Clyde blinked, swallowing hard as he reached out to Tweek, only to have his hand slapped away. Kenny uncomfortably pulled his head back around the corner, jumping slightly when he realised Craig the giant was right beside him, his hands bunched up inside his pockets as he listened to the scene with a frown. Kenny pushed past him, his hands wrapping around the bathroom handle to open it and close it with such force that even the door stop couldn't hid the noise.
Craig watched him from his position by the wall, confused at the blondes actions, yet remained silent as Kenny repositioned the book under his arm before he strolled right past Craig to head around the corner. All the while, Kenny hoped he looked as natural as possible, reaching Tweek and Clyde within a matter of seconds. He forced one of his usual grins as he lazily placed his arm around Tweek's shoulders, acknowledging Clyde with a slight nod of the head, yet the brunettes eyes only flickered over to Kenny, returning apologetically to Tweek's stern ones.
"All set to go?"
Tweek continued to glare at Clyde, slightly nodding to Kenny who had to guide the other blonde away, otherwise he would've had to witness this one sided stand off all night.
"Tweek, wait." Clyde pleaded, but Tweek ignored him, shrugging Kenny's arm off as they continued down the hall, their footsteps echoing off the walls, becoming quieter the further away they were. Clyde breathed out with frustration, blindly kicking at the pile of books beside him, and sending them across the corridor.
His mind began to torment him, asking him what kind of friend he was, reminding him of  Tweek's hurt expression. He rubbed down the sides of his face with his hands, creating a Clyde sandwich as he miserably glared at his books, too tired to pick them up. Yet his eyes flickered over to his side when he noticed the tall figure lurking in the hallway. He swallowed when he was met with the sight of Craig. His blue chullo hat as always resting on his head, with his hands hidden within the safety of his pockets as he frowned at his friend. Hearing all of that made him feel some type of way, a way in which he couldn't describe, and as he silently stared at Clyde, he ignored the knot in his stomach.
Kenny eerily watched Tweek as they pushed their way out of the building, neither having said anything since they left Clyde over by the lockers. In moments like these, Kenny wasn't sure how to react. Not having consolable parents meant he'd never picked up on these things, which left him feeling slightly awkward. He knew he had to do something though, since a side glance at Tweek revealed how hard his companion was trying not to sniffle.
"Terry Gernle spent his lunch with tissue stuck to his shoe." He found himself saying. Operation distract Tweek, was a go. "It was more amusing how nobody thought to tell him, just watching the little snail trail following him around the cafeteria."
Tweek didn't smile as he looked down at his shoes. "I'm guessing you didn't tell him either?"
"Well no..." Kenny admitted, scratching at the back of his neck, grinning to himself as he recalled the moment Terry realised. The odd reaction replayed in his mind as Terry glanced from the tissue stuck to his shoe, then to his classmates, frowning while saying 'you mother fuckers."
Tweek regarded Kenny with a brief look, yet his eyes flickered to the book still tucked under Kenny's arm. He knew he'd be listening, he was only glad Kenny hadn't chosen to talk about it after. If they had, Tweek wasn't sure if he'd be able to contain the sadness which replaced his anger, and all he wanted was to go home and hide in his room like a child.
Telling Token had been easy. He'd never imagined telling Clyde would've ended like this, after all, Clyde was the kid who had always once offered his tiny, child hand whenever Tweek would fall over.