The Evermore Dissociate(Creek) - Chapter 81: Chapter 81

With a sad nod of the head, Tweek's eyes fell to his shoes at Craig's agreement. He wasn't sure why it hurt to hear it, since he already knew how Craig felt. Still, it sucked, no matter how many times he heard it.
Though it being an unpopular opinion, Tweek believed in soulmates. He believed in this unwavering bond between two people met by fate. Naively, he believed love should be easy when its with the right person, but loving Craig was difficult in so many way.
For the longest time, he'd thought maybe Craig was his soulmate, because when he's by his side, a passionate feeling of wholesomeness fills his entire body, tingling his veins and making his heart race. But now he's realising he was wrong, and Tweek's belief in soulmates was slowly crumbling in the palm of his hand.
"Right..." Tweek murmured one final time, as though he was processing it through his mind. He felt sick, and despite his obvious trembling, he didn't want Craig to see him getting upset. "Uh, I'm getting pretty tired, so I guess I'll just see you at school on Monday."
Silently watching as Tweek walked past him with his head down, Craig wanted to punch himself for being such an imbecile. Why did he say that? Why couldn't he just makes things simple for once and tell Tweek the truth? Rubbing the stress building up in his temples, a quiet growl of frustration escaped his lips when he heard Tweek's footsteps rushing up the stairs.
Tweek's endless struggle was being too emotional. He couldn't help how fragile his feelings were, and there was nothing in this world that he hated more than that. Once within the safety of his bedroom, with the door closed, creating a barrier between himself and the rest of civilisation, he allowed the overwhelming sadness to consume him.
The weakness in his body failed Tweek, and before he could make it to the bed, he fell to his knees with a quiet sob. His reddened cheeks were damp within a instant, and his ears filled with static, drowning out any other noise to come.
From the other side of the bedroom door, Craig pressed his forehead against the surface as he listened to Tweek's muffled cries. Once again, he'd made him sad. It seemed that was the only thing Craig was capable of doing these days. He didn't want to hear his friend this way anymore, and he certainly didn't want to see what waits beyond the door, but at the same time, he didn't want to leave.
Turning the door knob slowly, it opened with a quiet click, revealing the blonde on the floor, with his sleeve covering his mouth in attempts to stop any noise from escaping past his quivering lips. Tweek didn't look up when Craig stepped into the room. He could barely even see him through the blurry layer of tears in his eyes.
Without a single word, Craig sat down beside Tweek, crossing his legs as he stared at the wall ahead, with Tweek's sniffles filling his right ear. Next to him, Tweek stiffened slightly, and even though he attempted to contain his sadness, he couldn't. And so, he cried beside his best friend for ten minutes straight, until the sadness passed into a hallow ache in his chest.
"Sorry," Tweek sniffed, wiping the sleeve of his sweater under his tear stained eyes. "I know this isn't your fault. And - and I know I can't force you to feel that way."
Glancing down at his clammy palm, Craig drew in a shaky breath as a dull ache pestered his forehead. It felt as though he was stepping onto the scariest rollercoaster in the world, with the awful feeling residing within his chest. "I don't know what to say, Tweek." He confessed, with worry evident in his tone of voice.
Another train of uncontrollable sniffles passed as Tweek tried to collect himself. "You," More sniffles, "don't have to say anything."
But Craig wanted to say something, anything to ease the situation. He wanted to tell Tweek he felt the same way, and that it frightened him to death. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was, because if he'd figured it out sooner, things wouldn't be as bad as they were now.
In an instant, he was thinking about when they were younger. How they laughed and played without a care in the world. Then he thought about this past year. The year which was supposed to be the greatest school year of their lives. Instead it was filled with lies and anger, tears and undesirable longing.
With ease, he stared at the unsettled blonde beside him, looking past the redness in his eyes in searching of something he wasn't fully aware of. He was searching for answers untold, trying to make sense of how he'd been so oblivious until now.
As Tweek stared back, with the occasional sniff filling the silence of the room, he felt something. Stupidly, his heartbeat increased as he witnessed the blues of Craig's wondering eyes, and to his displeasure, Tweek was unintentionally admiring Craig, once again. And for that, he hated himself even more.
He hated every fibre of his being for allowing himself to be hurt, time and time again. He wanted to look away from the eyes hypnotising his gullible mind, but then those same eyes briefly flickered down towards Tweek's lips, so fast it was barely noticeable, but Tweek noticed, and his stomach filled with fluttering butterflies.
It happened again, shortly after, and Tweek was overcome with an insatiable amount of confusion as he watched Craig hesitantly leaning in. The weird feeling in his stomach intensified, and his instinct was to slightly lean in himself.
With Craig's lips only millimetres away from Tweek's own, every thought process he was currently having stopped, leaving only himself and Craig in this moment. Nervously, his throat tightened as he waited in anticipation, but Craig was having a battle of his own inside his mind.
There was a cross road of his own, one he was scared to follow. He closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply, momentarily settling the anxiety coursing through his body. Then, in one swift motion, he captured Tweek's lips with his own. His chapped lips moved gently against Tweek's, and despite how terrified he was in this moment, it felt right.
Whether it felt right or not to Tweek, it didn't matter. He'd allowed himself to be swept away for only a few seconds, before he was pushing Craig away with an angry frown. He wasn't sure if this was just an attempt to stop the sadness, or a way for Craig to experiment, but Tweek wasn't going to allow it. He wasn't going to allow his emotions to he played with, because in the end, it was only himself which was going to get hurt.
Watching a look of confusion and rejection wash over Craig's features, Tweek scooted further away. "What the hell was that?" He snapped.
Any feeling of lust Craig once had, was replaced with embarrassment as he stared down at his lap. He'd never felt this humiliated and vulnerable in his entire life. A moment ago, he was opening up, expressing all of the things he was too afraid to say. He'd willingly put himself in a position of weakness for Tweek, only to have it thrown back at him. He wanted to take it back, to have made his peace with Tweek earlier, and left when he should have left. He tried his staring technique, hoping and praying to dissociate in this moment, so that he wouldn't have to feel the gut wrenching knife in his stomach. But it failed, and he was faced to deal with his emotions alone this time.
Standing up, Tweek wiped the palms of his hands down the sides of his face as he looked out of the window. It was raining outside, but that barely registered in his mind as he looked back over to where Craig was hopelessly sitting on the floor. "Well?"
"I - I don't know," Craig stammered, raking his fingers through his hair. He quickly climbed to his feet, and without looking back at Tweek, he began to make his way over to the door.
Realising he was trying to escape the situation, Tweek raced over to the door, blocking it and refusing to let Craig leave. "You're not going anywhere until you explain yourself."
Resembling a terrified puppy, Craig's eyes remained low, never daring to meet Tweek's. He knew he could probably push his way past Tweek. He was taller and most likely stronger, but instead, he did as he was told. "It was an accident, okay?"
"You accidentally kissed me?" Tweek challenged, still glaring as he shielded the door. "You can't keep messing with me, Craig! Kissing me isn't going to make me get over you! You can't use me because you're confused!"
"I wasn't using you!" Craig snapped, with his darkening eyes finally finding Tweek's. "And I'm not confused."
The glare Tweek was wearing only seconds ago, morphed into realisation. Shyly glancing down at his shoes, he remembered the letter Craig showed him, inadvertently confessing his feelings for Tweek. Those feelings had been lost for so long, hidden beneath a layer of fear, only now that fear had been conquered. Craig was standing in front of Tweek, and something in the way he looked at him had noticeably changed. Tweek had been too blinded by angrier to have noticed it until now.
"You're not?" He asked, his voice softer than before.
With his hands curled at his sides, Craig shook his head. He wasn't confused, and up until Tweek ruined the moment, he'd actually been enjoying the kiss. "No," He confirmed, with his voice matching Tweek's. "I'm not."