The Fire and the Sky (Book 3 of the... - Chapter 10: Chapter 10

It was a small creek, glacier cold even on the hottest of summer days, that put an end to May's escape. As if she had splashed into the icy water, the sight of it seemed to shock her back to the moment. Now, with an interruption at her feet, embarrassment crept in.
"Why do I always run?"
She lowered herself onto a cluster of water-smoothed stones and stared into the crystal clear creek. At its deepest point, it likely only came up to her chest. But in that moment it felt like a chasm, and May wasn't sure she cared what was on the other side.
More of the same, May thought, closing her eyes. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled her legs in close. Her head bowed until her brow touched her knees. Curled into a tight ball – as small as she could make herself – May willed herself to disappear.
She felt finished; used up and done. Disappointment crawled through her veins and poisoned her heart until self-pity was the only thing on her mind.
"Interesting you'd wind up here."
May didn't start at the sound of Dom's voice behind her. She didn't care enough to be scared anymore.
"I wasn't going anywhere in particular," she replied without raising her head. "I just needed to be alone."
Dom ignored her less than subtle hint and sat down beside her. "This is where Em used to come when she needed to be alone too."
Now May looked at him, peeking out over her arm. She hadn't known that. Mentally she added it to the growing list of things she had never known about the woman she loved.
"I remember the first time I found her down here," Dom continued, his unfocused gaze skimming the water. "We'd had our first argument. Nothing major – I was trying to get her to open up, tell me what was bothering her. She took off and when I finally tracked her down, I found her in there." He picked up a pebble and flicked it into the creek, like a potshot. "It was late autumn, snow was about to fly any day, and there she was crouched in the middle of a freezing cold creek. I thought she was trying to kill herself."
At this, May lifted her head. She looked back at the creek and imagined it – Em, already the color of frigid ice, rising from the water like a ghost.
"I thought the same thing the first time I saw her do that too," May admitted in a quiet murmur. She could still see it just as clearly as the day it happened, the memory of Em – wild and unreachable – throwing herself into the ocean to drown out the energies of the universe and the memories of a past life. It was a day burned into May's memory. "That was the first time I met Welkin."
Dom held a pebble to May. "Tell me what's going on, Mabes."
May unraveled and accepted the small stone, rolling its cold smooth surface between her fingers. "The last 24 hours have been a bit much."
"I'm sorry. I really didn't want to spring this all on you, but I didn't–"
May cut him off with a dismissive wave of her hand. She flicked her wrist and cast the stone into the icy water. "Don't apologize, Dom. I get it."
Dom didn't respond. He let the silence hang between them, the rushing, gurgling of the water the only sound. May sighed.
"This is going to sound stupid."
"Try me."
May's thumb traced the base of her middle finger, a remnant of when she would fiddle with her ring when she was nervous. "All my life I've been treated like a mistake. Like I wasn't enough. In school, kids would tease me because my parents were mainlanders. Because they left me behind. Because I'm so small. Then everyone turned on me because they thought I was fucking half the village. And thenit was because they found out I'm gay, on top of everything else. It was just one thing after another. It felt so unfair. But everything happens for a reason, right? We're all here for some greater purpose we can't possibly understand and everything that happens to us is just part of the story meant to bring us to where we're meant to be."
As she spoke, anger seeped into her words. She picked up another stone, larger than the pebbles, and whipped it into the water. "That's what the old stories tell us. We have to trust the universe – the Stars– have a plan for us. Except, surprise! Not me! Which means everything that happened to me – every shitty, horrible thing – happened for no fucking reason. I ama mistake after all."
This is where anyone else might have flinched away from May and her rage. Gaped open-mouthed, searching for the right thing to say. But it was Dom at her side, and he approached her confession like he did every challenge – with the steady, all-knowing air of the oldest tree in the forest.
"That's one way of looking at it," he agreed, scratching his beard thoughtfully. "I can see why it would feel unfair to find out you aren't part of some grand plan. But I think there's an opportunity in all that mess that you're not seeing."
"Oh?" she grumbled, petulant. "What's that?"
"You're free. You're not beholden to a story someone else wrote for you. You get to take all those horrible things that happened to you and youget to decide what they mean. Maybe they make you stronger, braver. Maybe they make you angry and distrustful. You could say 'fuck it' and move to a deserted island for the rest of your day. Or maybe you still say 'fuck it', only this time you funnel all that energy into saving the world instead. It's completely up to you."
"He's right, you know."
May and Dom twisted in unison, looking over their shoulders to where Welkin stood, watching. Even in their human form, they were so impossibly beautiful; golden rays of sunlight drifted between the canopy above and draped them in a hazy glow.
Welkin cleared their throat. "May I join you?"
"Sure," May acquiesced, shifting closer to Dom to make room on her other side.
The three of them sat shoulder to shoulder in silence. Three creatures, each touched by magic, soaking in the silence of a world that would never be the same again.
"I'm so sorry, May," Welkin said, breaking the silence first.
She shook her head. "Don't be. It's not your fault."
The Star laughed darkly. "That's not exactly true."
"You know what I mean."
More silence, the creek babbling to fill it.
"You're not a mistake," Welkin insisted quietly. "Quite the opposite, actually. Your parents wanted you, badly. They wishedfor you, May." They held a tentative hand out to her. "And Dominic makes a very valid point – whatever happens next, whatever you do next, it's your choice."
May eyed Welkin's hand; a gesture of peace. "What about Em? Is she part of the plan?"
"No."
"So, she and I." May's voice quavered. "We're not destined for each other after all."
Welkin's hand remained hovering between them.
"But, May, don't you see? You could be. It's yourchoice."
This landed on May's soul like yet another stone thrown into water. It parted the waters and distributed the flow of her self-pity. She let the weight of it sink in, let it fill her.
Destiny wasn't going to bring them back together, she realized. If she wanted Em back, she would have to go out and find her. She was going to have to fight for it, but only if she wanted it.
She took Welkin's hand, lacing her fingers between theirs.
On her other side, Dom exhaled with relief.
"So, where is Em anyway? The first time I sent Fargus to find you guys he came back with word that I had to reach out to you alone."
"She's still with others, trying to save Connor and Rue's son. But we ran into some trouble and she sent me away to keep me safe."
Welkin's grip tightened. "What do you mean?"
May sighed. "We went to Connor's sister, Marina, for help. But she ratted us out to the Loyals to keep her family safe. It fucked everything up."
"I can't imagine Em honestly believing you'd be safer without her," Dom insisted. His face was scrunched as if he smelled something fishy.
"It was Jeremy's idea," May replied. "But she went along with it."
"That damn boy," Welkin snarled. Both May and Dom turned to them in surprise. The outburst was so undignified – so unlike the Star – that it took them off guard. "Just as stubborn as always."
They waited a moment for Welkin to continue, but whatever thoughts they had about Jeremy and his schemes they kept to themself.
"It was a dumb idea," May said. "It didn't work. Melanie tracked me down in Omea and tried to get me to tell her where Em was."
"We're running out of time." Welkin's voice was far away, ominous.
"So, what do we do now?" Dom asked, glancing from May to Welkin and back again.
May thought about what he had said earlier.
I could save the world. This is my choice to make.
Dom and Welkin looked at her expectantly as a smile slid across her face.
"I have an idea," she said. "But I'm going to need your help."