The Gray Effect - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

S O P H I A H O N E Y
I DIG MY HEELS into the floor, but Blair is stronger than she looks. I stumble forward, my brain short-circuiting as we pass shelves stacked with vibrators, lingerie, and-dear God-things I don't even have the vocabulary for.
"This one's cute," Blair chirps, grabbing something off a shelf and waving it at me.
It's bright pink and shaped like-nope. I'm not even going to finish that thought.
"Blair!" I hiss, glancing around in panic. "People are looking!"
Blair glances around the empty shop. "Who? The cashier? She's probably seen worse."
I groan, my face burning. "This is insane. I don't need a... a Mr. Jones." I lower my voice saying the name as it felt embarrassing to say in the open.
"Yes, you do," Blair says, all seriousness now. "Listen, Soph, you've been way too stressed lately. And what's the best way to relieve stress?"
I gape at her. "Lots of sleep?"
She deadpans. "Not what I was going for, but sure." Then she thrusts the pink monstrosity into my hands. "Trust me. This will change your life."
"Alex!" I yelp, turning to my so-called responsible friend. "Help me!"
Alex leans casually against a display of flavored lube, looking way too entertained. "I mean... she's not wrong."
I groan. "Oh my God. This is a setup. You both planned this."
Blair grins. "Not exactly. I came up with the idea and she went with it."
"Can we just leave please?" I beg but she shook her head,
"Nope."
I glance back at the exit, calculating how fast I can make a run for it.
Blair notices. "Oh no, you're not escaping. Not until you pick something."
"I already have a vibrator, is that not enough to relive myself."
She scoffs. "You and I both know it doesn't reach anywhere all the time."
"But Blair, I-"
She puts her hands on her hips. "Sophia. If you don't pick one, I'll pick one for you. And it'll be the biggest one they have."
My stomach drops.
Alex snorts. "I'd listen to her. She looks serious."
I glare at them both. "I hate you guys."
Blair beams. "Love you too! Now, let's find another best friend aside from the vibrator you have."
I groan, dragging a hand down my face as Blair practically skips down the aisle, examining every option like she's picking out a designer handbag. Meanwhile, I stand frozen, gripping the pink thing she shoved at me like it's radioactive.
"This one's nice," she says, picking up something purple with a curve that makes me sweat.
I shake my head so fast I might get whiplash. "Blair, no. Absolutely not."
She sighs dramatically and puts it back. "Fine. But we need to find something that screams Sophia."
Alex snickers. "What would that even look like?"
Blair taps her chin, thinking. "Hmm. Something... classy but secretly a freak."
I choke. "Excuse me?"
She grins. "You heard me." Then she gasps, eyes lighting up as she grabs a sleek, black toy that looks way too intimidating. "Oh my God. This is the one."
I take a step back. "Nope. I'm out. I don't need one. Thanks for the experience-let's go."
Blair grabs my wrist. "Soph, come on. You're missing out! You deserve some extra pleasure in your life."
Alex smirks. "She does have a point."
I shoot her a betrayed look. "Whose side are you on?"
She shrugs. "The side of reason. Also, seeing you like this is so much fun."
I groan, covering my face. "This is humiliating."
Blair waves the toy in front of me. "What's humiliating is how long you've gone without one of these. Seriously, this will make you scream better than a vibrator when you feel extra horny."
"Blair!" I hiss, checking if the cashier heard.
She just laughs. "You need this, babe. Trust me, you'll thank me later."
I eye the exit again, but deep down, a tiny, traitorous part of me wonders if she's right.
I sigh, rubbing my temples. "Fine. Just-just hurry up before I change my mind."
Blair beams, practically vibrating with excitement. "Yes! You won't regret this, babe." She grabs my arm, pulling me toward the cashier like we're on some kind of mission.
The cashier, a woman with short red hair and an eyebrow piercing, barely looks up as she scans the toy. "ID?"
Blair grins and reaches into my bag before I can react. "Here you go!" She hands over my college ID with a flourish.
"Blair!" I whisper-shout, horrified. "That's mine!"
She waves me off. "Relax. We're both legal, and besides, you were taking too long."
I bury my face in my hands as the cashier glances between the ID and me. She smirks, amused. "First time?"
I groan. "Is it that obvious?"
She chuckles. "Don't worry. It's a rite of passage." She swipes my card, hands it back, then drops the toy into a discreet black bag.
"Have fun," she says with a wink as she passes the bag to Blair.
I grab it quickly, stuffing it into my top like I'm hiding contraband. "Thanks. Let's go."
Blair, on the other hand, is living for this. She's radiating pride as we step out of the shop. "So, how does it feel to be the proud owner of a brand-new Mr. Jones?"
I groan. "Like I just sold my dignity for thirty bucks."
Alex laughs as she unlocks the car. "It's okay, Soph. You'll be thanking Blair in a few days."
I scowl at both of them before I'm about to slide into the car-but then I hear someone call my name, and I freeze.
"Sophie?"
Panic surges through me. I toss the discreet bag into the car and slam the door shut faster than lightning before turning around.
"Lydia."
She smiles, clearly pleased that I remember her this time.
Before I can react, she pulls me into a quick hug, then steps back, studying me. "How are you? Feels like I haven't seen you in forever."
From the corner of my eye, I catch Alex and Blair slipping into the car, both trying-and failing-not to laugh.
I clear my throat. "I'm good! And yeah, it's been a while. What about you? How have you been?"
I'm relieved that it's her who spotted me and not someone else, but embarrassment still creeps up my neck. I remind myself: It's not like I'm the first person to ever buy a dildo.
That doesn't make it less humiliating, though. The memory of buying my first vibrator back in my hometown flashes through my mind-the way I'd worked up the nerve, disguising myself like I was committing a crime.
Lydia shrugs. "Aside from drowning in projects, I'm alright." She tilts her head. "But what are you doing in this neighborhood?"
"Oh!" I glance at the car, then back at her, forcing a casual tone. "The girls and I just needed to buy something."
She raises a brow, arms crossing over her chest. "Something, huh?"
I gulp. "Yeah."
Her lips twitch like she doesn't quite believe me. "You sure that's all?" Her eyes flick toward the car, then back to me, amusement playing on her face. I force a smile, my hands gripping the edge of my top like it's my last lifeline.
"Yep! Just, uh... girl stuff."
She hums, clearly unconvinced. "Girl stuff."
I nod quickly. "Exactly."
Lydia narrows her eyes slightly, then grins. "Sophie..." she drawls, stepping a little closer. "You do realize there are only two kinds of people who come to this area, right?"
My stomach drops. "What?"
"Yeah." She taps a finger against her chin, pretending to think. "Either people looking for late-night takeout... or people buying things they don't want others to know about."
My face burns.
Lydia's grin widens. "So, which one is it?"
"Takeout." I blurt. "We were totally just-uh, grabbing some snacks."
Why did I say that?
She laughs, shaking her head. "Right. Snacks."
Behind me, Blair rolls down the window just enough to pop her head out, her voice dripping with fake innocence. "Oh, Sophie, did you tell Lydia about your new-"
I whip around, eyes flashing. "Blair."
She presses her lips together, but her shoulders shake with barely contained laughter.
I exhale sharply before turning back to Lydia, who is now biting her lip like she's trying not to burst out laughing.
"Well," she says, eyes twinkling, "I hope you and the girls enjoy your... snacks."
I groan. "You're never letting this go, are you?"
She shakes her head, chucking. "Not a chance."
"B-But what about you?" I ask, desperate to shift the attention away from me. "Why are you here?"
Lydia's lips curl into a smirk. "Oh, you know." She shrugs, tilting her head playfully. "I needed something too-if you catch my drift."
She winks, and my face heats up all over again.
"And," she adds, stepping closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "never speak of this to Logan if you see him today. It's a surprise for him, okay?"
I nod quickly. "Definitely."
Her smirk softens into a satisfied smile. "Good."
We exchange quick goodbyes, and I watch her walk away, heading towards the sex shop.
I sigh, yanking the car door open and as I slide in, Blair and Alex lose it, laughing so hard that Alex has to wipe tears from her eyes.
"Oh my God," Blair wheezes. "That was-priceless. You should have seen your face when she called your name!"
I glare at them both. "This is not funny."
Alex, still grinning, starts the car. "It's a little funny if you think about it."
I cross my arms, muttering, "Maybe just a little but still-"
Blair nudges me. "Come on, Sophie, admit it-this was fun."
"How was getting caught fun?" I deadpan.
Blair grins. "You weren't caught. She just saw your face turn red and put two and two together. Mad respect for her, by the way. Now I get why Logan is obsessed with her-she must be freaky in bed."
I snort. "And how exactly would you know that?"
Blair smirks. "She walked into that shop like it wasn't her first rodeo, then straight-up told you not to tell Logan. I'm telling you, she's probably getting the couple cuffs. It's super popular with couples."
Alex raises a brow. "Blair, how do you even know all this stuff?"
"Research. Duh."
"Remind me never to check your search history," Alex says, shaking her head. "Soph, do you want me to drop you at the apartment, or-"
"My apartment, please," I say quickly. "I need to recover from all the madness I've experienced today."
They both laugh, but Blair's eyes flick to the discreet bag before landing on me. "By the way, you do know how to use it, right? It might be a little tricky for you, considering you're basically a virgin."
My cheeks burn. "I am not a virgin! I've had sex before."
She rolls her eyes. "I'm not saying you haven't. I'm just saying if you did, it must not have been good."
"And how exactly can you tell?" I challenge.
Blair smirks. "You don't have the face of someone who's had good sex."
Alex snorts. "People have faces for that?"
Blair nods knowingly. "Sometimes. For example, I lost my virginity at sixteen. It wasn't great-he had no clue what he was doing, and I was left craving more. It wasn't bad exactly, but my body knew there had to be something better. So I waited until I was eighteen, went to a party, and had the best fuck of my life. Let's just say the guy I slept with opened my eyes to sex, and-"
"Turned you into a sex maniac," Alex cuts in, and I burst out laughing.
"Exactly," Blair admits shamelessly. "So, Soph, how many times have you had sex?"
"Once," I mumble, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
She hums knowingly. "Had a feeling. And let me guess-bad?"
"Very bad."
"Poor girl," she sighs, patting my shoulder. "I hate to break it to you, but a vibrator and a dildo aren't going to fix this. Your body's just going to crave the real thing. And it gets even worse when you start thinking about someone you actually want to fuck you."
I blink. "Thinking about someone?"
Blair nods. "Yeah. It's one thing to just feel horny and use a toy, but it's a whole different game when your mind starts picturing him-his hands on you, his body against yours. And if you're already touch-starved, it's even worse. Every little brush of skin, every moment of tension between you two will turn into unbearable craving, and suddenly, you're going nuts, desperate for him to just take you."
I swallow hard. That... sounded far too true.
Am I really touch-starved?
The thought settles deep in my mind, an unwelcome realization that I might actually be. How else could I explain the way I let Theo tease me like that in the restroom? The way I just stood there, letting him crowd me, his fingers grazing my skin like he knew exactly what he was doing to me? I should have walked away. I should have told him off.
But I didn't.
And maybe that's the real problem.
"So what's the best solution if you're touch-starved and can't stop thinking about the person?" I ask, trying to sound indifferent.
Blair smirks. "Simple. Have sex with him and free yourself from the problem."
My stomach flips. That's... blunt.
"And what if you don't even know if he wants to fuck you?" I ask again.
"Then test him. Tease him. Give him something subtle-something that doesn't say you want him, but makes him think about it anyway."
I frown. "That makes no sense."
She raises a brow. "Why? Do you have someone you want to fuck you? Because if so-"
"I don't," I cut her off way too fast, pulse spiking. "I'm just asking a question, that's all."
She studies me for a second like she's debating whether to call me out, but then she shrugs, distracted by her phone. I lean back in my seat, pressing my forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the city blur past.
Tease him?
How the hell would I even do that?
I don't flirt. I don't play games. I barely know how to handle Theo when he gets like that, all cocky grins and lazy touches that set my whole body on fire.
And the worst part? I know damn well this isn't just some harmless, meaningless crush anymore. Because if it was, I wouldn't be sitting here seriously considering this.
I groan under my breath, rubbing a hand over my face. Okay. Let's say I actually try it.
Would Theo even want me like that?
We've had tension-a lot of tension-enough that I spend half my time pretending it doesn't exist, stuffing it down until it suffocates itself. But now that I'm finally admitting to myself that I am attracted to him, my body and mind are in complete agreement.
Go for it.
Free yourself and try.
My subconscious is a terrible influence.
"Soph, we're here." Alex's voice snaps me back to reality.
I blink, realizing the car has stopped in front of my building.
"Oh. Thank you." I force a smile and reach for my bag, carefully tucking the discreet black bag inside before stepping out. "Bye, guys."
They wave as Alex pulls away, leaving me standing alone on the sidewalk. I glance up at my apartment building, my heart suddenly hammering.
Is he already back?
I swallow hard, gripping the strap of my bag like it might somehow keep me grounded. Because if Theo is inside...
I might just lose my damn mind.
I push open the glass doors of the building, stepping into the cool, air-conditioned lobby. My heart is pounding in my chest, an annoying reminder of just how rattled I am. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to act normal as I make my way to the elevator.
The ride up feels like an eternity. The numbers blink past slowly, my nerves twisting tighter with each passing floor. What if he's inside?
I ask myself again, gripping my bag a little tighter, imagining he was. When the doors finally slide open, I step out, walking down the hall toward my apartment. My breath comes a little faster now, my pulse hammering against my ribs.
Relax. He might not even be home.
I reach into my pocket, pulling out my keycard. My fingers tremble slightly as I swipe it against the lock, the soft beep echoing louder than it should. The door clicks open, and I push it wide, stepping inside cautiously.
The apartment is quiet.
My eyes dart around the space, scanning for any sign of Theo. Nothing.
I exhale a deep breath of relief and quickly head to my room, shutting the door behind me. The first thing I do is pull the discreet black bag out of my backpack and shove it into the bottom drawer of my nightstand. Out of sight, out of mind.
I lean against the wall for a second, my head tipping back as I exhale.
I feel choked up.
Maybe it's everything that's happened today-the teasing, the tension, the conversation in the car. Maybe it's the way my body still feels charged, like something in me is wired too tight and I need to breathe.
I strip out of my outfit as my skin feels tight and my clothes starts suffocating me. I grab something more comfortable: a cropped tank top, jeans, and a loose shirt. The top rides up just a little, exposing a sliver of my stomach, but I don't care. I just need to breathe.
Feeling slightly more like myself, I step back into the hallway.
And almost jump out of my skin.
Theo is in the kitchen.
I stop mid-step, my heart lurching as I watch him casually pull open the fridge and grab a few things-milk, bread, a package of butter. His back is turned, broad shoulders relaxed like he's completely unaware that I nearly had a heart attack just now.
Jesus. How did I not hear him?
I take a slow, careful step back, ready to retreat to the safety of my room before he notices me. But just as I move, Theo turns.
And freezes.
Our eyes lock, and for a second, the air between us shifts, thickens.
Neither of us speaks.
He clears his throat, the sound sharp in the stillness, and then-like I'm suddenly unimportant-his gaze slides away. He reaches for the toaster, acting like nothing happened. Like I'm not standing here, stomach tight, chest heaving just the slightest bit from the way my heart is hammering.
"When did you come back?" His voice is calm, too calm, like he doesn't care.
"Oh, um..." My legs betray me, carrying me forward, and before I can stop myself, I sink onto the stool across from him. "I just got back."
He nods. Says nothing else.
That's... weird.
Where's the teasing? The smug, arrogant quips that make me want to strangle him and-god help me-do something else to him?
Nothing.
Maybe he regrets it.
The thought stings sharper than I expect.
Maybe he realized he went too far earlier. That messing with his best friend's sister is a bad idea. That I-being his best friend's sister-should have never let him do it in the first place.
But I want to know.
I want to know if he regrets it. If he's pushing it all aside, pretending it was nothing.
"Are you hungry?" he asks, his voice even, unreadable.
I shake my head, pushing to my feet and moving around the counter toward the fridge. I pull it open, scanning for something light. I bend slightly, reaching for a protein bar-probably a bad choice, considering the memories attached to it.
When I turn back, Theo's head snaps away so fast I'm surprised he doesn't give himself whiplash.
Was he staring at my-?
Heat rushes to my face.
"I'm fine," I murmur, clearing my throat. "I'll just have this."
"You don't eat much, do you?"
I shrug, trying to act unaffected, but my gaze lingers on the bread sitting on the counter. "Food's expensive."
"Then I'll buy the groceries. Problem solved," he says, as if it's that simple.
The toaster dings, and before I can react, he grabs the warm slice of bread, holding it out toward me. "Here. Eat."
"I said I'm fine." I move to walk past him.
And then I feel it-his hand, strong and unyielding, wrapping around my waist.
My breath stutters as he spins me effortlessly, my back pressing against the counter, my body caged between him and the cool marble edge.
Not again.
"Why are you so damn stubborn?" His voice is low, laced with frustration.
I gulp. "Because I don't want to eat."
"You need to."
"I don't need you to tell me what I need," I mutter, pressing my palms against his chest. But he doesn't budge, and frustration flares inside me. "Haven't you had enough of this?"
"Of what?"
"I don't know." I exhale sharply. "You've been acting weird, and I don't know what to make of it."
He watches me carefully, his expression unreadable. Then, quietly, he says, "I'm surprising myself with all this, too."
"Then stop."
"I don't want to." His voice drops, his body inching closer. "In fact, I want to know if I'm the only one going crazy here, or if you feel it too."
My lips part, but the words don't come.
And then-before I can process what's happening-his hands slide down to my hips.
A small gasp leaves me as he lifts me like I weigh nothing, setting me onto the counter. My legs dangle, but his body is pressed close, his hands gripping my sides, warm and dangerous.
"What a-are you d-doing?" My voice betrays me, shaking.
Theo doesn't move back. He doesn't release me. Instead, his fingers shift higher, tracing slow, torturous circles along my waist, his thumbs brushing against the bare skin just beneath my top.
My insides twist, tighten.
Oh, god. I'm touch-starved, and I like this.
"Stop," I whisper, but it sounds weak. Unconvincing.
His smirk is slow, deliberate. A spark of mischief and something darker flickers in his gaze.
"Are you sure?" His fingers skim higher, featherlight.
I nod quickly. "Yes."
He doesn't believe me.
"Mm." He tilts his head, studying me. "What did I say about your lying habits, hmm?"
His voice is a low purr, and I swear, I feel it everywhere.
His smirk deepens, those damn dimples carving into his cheeks, and I hate how my stomach flips at the sight. His fingers skim my waist again, teasing, like he's daring me to react-to admit the truth.
I grip the edge of the counter, my knuckles white. Breathe. Stay calm. Don't give him the satisfaction.
"I'm not lying," I force out, but my voice is shaky, breathless. I hate it. Hate how obvious it is that he's getting to me.
Theo hums like he's considering my words, but his hands don't stop moving. He brushes his fingers just under the hem of my top, his thumbs pressing into my skin, sending a wave of heat curling through me.
"Really?" he murmurs, his breath warm against my jaw. "Then why are you shaking?"
I squeeze my thighs together, swallowing hard. "I-I'm not."
His lips twitch, like he's trying not to laugh. Cocky bastard.
I try to push him back again, but all it does is press my palms against the hard planes of his chest. He's so solid, so unmovable, and the heat radiating from him is messing with my head.
"You're full of shit," he mutters, his voice rough.
"So are you," I fire back, but it comes out weak, barely a whisper.
His gaze darkens, his hands tightening on my waist. "Maybe."
We're too close. Too much heat, too much tension, and I can't think straight. The scent of his cologne-clean, sharp, a little like pine-fills my lungs, making my head spin.
I should stop this. I should push him away.
But then he leans in, his lips hovering just above mine, and I stop breathing.
"Admit it," he says softly. His nose brushes against mine, the contact so light it makes me shiver. "You feel it too."
My pulse is a wild, erratic drum against my ribs.
I do.
I feel everything. The heat, the ache, the insane pull toward him that makes no sense but refuses to go away.
But I can't say it.
I won't.
So I do the only thing I can-I turn my head at the last second, breaking the moment before it consumes me.
Theo's lips brush against my cheek instead of my mouth, and he lets out a sharp exhale. He pulls back, just a fraction, his jaw clenching.
For a second, we just breathe, both of us caught in this dangerous, unspoken thing stretching between us.
Then he huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head like he can't believe himself.
"Fine," he mutters, stepping back completely, his hands sliding away from my waist. I don't know why I suddenly miss the warmth of them.
"Fine?" I repeat, my voice uneven.
He meets my gaze, his expression unreadable. "If you're not ready to admit it, I won't push you."
I swallow hard. "Good."
"But," he continues, leaning down slightly, "I will get the truth out of you eventually. And when I do?" He smirks. "You won't be able to deny it anymore."
Before I can respond-before I can even process that-he grabs his toast, turns on his heel, and walks off, like he didn't just shatter the last bit of my sanity.
I stay frozen on the counter, my heart still pounding, my body still tingling where he touched me.
He feels it too.
Then why didn't I let him go further?
Because you're scared.
The thought comes unbidden, and I hate how true it is. I am scared. Not just of what it means if I admit I want him, but of how easy it would be to give in. To let him touch me, to see where this insane pull between us could lead.
My body is still burning, my skin tingling where his hands were just moments ago. I press my thighs together, trying to suppress the ache building deep inside me. It doesn't help.
I should just say it. Just get it out in the open, tell him that I want him, that I-
No.
The words feel impossible to say. Too real. Too dangerous.
But if I don't?
If I keep pretending I don't feel this heat, this unbearable need-
Then it's just going to be me, my vibrator and Mr. Jones.
And honestly?
I don't want that.