The Guard To My Sanctuary - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

I felt out of place in the crowded mall my brothers were walking with me but being in public felt odd. I had avoided any company that wasn't a therapist, family, or Marco. It had been a month since reporters stormed my house asking questions about my disappearance and it shook me up quite a bit. Apparently, some new guy on the force leaked the information which turned out to be the worst thing he could ever do. My dad said he mysterious tripped down a flight of stairs and broke his hip in three places which led to a forced early retirement from police work, I didn't ask any more questions. London could see the news and now knew exactly where I am which only made me more paranoid. My psychiatrist upped my dosage a little to help cope with the stress but I still found myself looking behind my back every now and then.
"Dude we've been in this mall for like six hours when is he coming my feet are starting to hurt from all of this walking around," Alder asked with his head back.
"Calm down and just wait he'll get here. He'd never miss a chance to see Elm," Pine said softly pushing me and laughing.
"You're right he wouldn't miss a chance to spend the weekend with his boyfriend," Alder said smirking at me.
"He's not my boyfriend we are just friends," I responded blushing I felt very awkward talking about Marco with my brothers
"But you want him to be, I've caught you giving him lingering stares both at his eyes and in other places" Pine laughed.
"I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet," I said trying to end the conversation. It was true I wasn't ready. Now if he asked me on a date there's no way in the world I would say no.
I walked into the department store and looked around for clothing that I'd like and settled for some basics for when I wasn't wearing Marco's sweater or t-shirts that he left behind. Marco had come every weekend and multiple times during the week even if he just came for a few hours and had to leave out to do other things. I wondered how tired he was getting with the constant travel but I was grateful because I was beginning to feel a connection with him. He taught me how to ride a bike and how to swim two things my father had no idea how to do which was funny because I got to watch him learn alongside me. He even helped me with figuring out the basics of Geometry which I had built upon in order to grasp the subjects broader concepts.
"Hold these," I asked at the same time as I clutched a pair of ripped skinny jeans and handed Pine the clothes I had picked out. They were already holding my other bags along with theirs so he grunted when I gave him the clothing. I knew he wouldn't complain because they never did when I asked them to do things. I had no idea when things would normalize between us all so I was taking advantage of the situation while I can. I walked up to the cash register trying not to bump into people as I passed them. I still wasn't too good with other people touching me but I hadn't had a full blown panic attack in two weeks which was something to separate. I liked having the agency to control who and when a person touched me which was a luxury that I had not had in my years of captivity. I asked the lady at the counter for a key to the dressing room which she escorted me to. When the door was closed I slipped off my jeans and slid on the snug fitting skinny jeans that stretched just a little around my thighs but remained firm around my calves. I walked out to where my brothers were standing and they were both shaking their heads with an obvious dislike for what I was wearing.
"Nope that's way too tight, I shouldn't be able to see your figure," Pine said pushing back towards the dressing room.
"Try again," Alder said shaking his head as if their words were the law.
"Umm, I do what I want and I am not a girl," I responded pushing Pine out of my way since I planned on wearing the pants out of the store now that I knew they had an issue with it.
"I bet you you'll put them back," Alder challenged me with one eyebrow perked upwards.  I twisted around and gave him my 'oh really' look while grabbing my shirts from Pine's hands feeling the breeze on my knees from the slits in the denim. I then ripped the tag off the pants and walked to the counter where a lady was getting serviced. My brothers argued in my ears waiting for me to relent but that old sibling rivalry instinct was guiding me. I managed to make it to the cash register and she rang up my items and the tag for the jeans and I paid for them with the card I got from my trust. Then I walked out of the store back into the mall.
"You're so annoying," Alder said in a defeated tone of voice.
"You're not a walk in a park they yourself, I'm surprised Thalia can stand you. You talk so much, I don't remember you being such a pain in the ass," I responded rolling my eyes. Pine started laughing and Alder turned over to him.
"I'm sorry! Is the one with no love interest laughing? You are going to die childless and alone," Alder lashed out and tended to go low which would be an issue if any of us took it seriously. He hated to be laughed at when he went low which only made it more satisfying to pick on him.
"So you're that deep in your feelings huh," Pine rolled while chuckling his eyes following me inside a store where I bought my body mists then left out to see Alder still in his feelings.
"I was just messing with you," I said walking up to him and gave him a firm brotherly hug.
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes but hugged me back.
"If you calm down I'll make some Jalebi when I get home Daddy bought the ingredients the other day. I'll make them with that sweet lemon ginger sauce you like," I said with a cheesy smile that caused Alder to crack one despite him trying to hold it back. He was a big teddy bear like he had always been. It was nice to know that somethings would never change.
"Fine," he said. Pine scoffed and we went back to walking around the mall enjoying the day. I liked spending a few hours with my brothers so we could make up for lost time. We were walking around casually until I stopped at the sight of someone. My breath hitched in my chest and I could hear the blood rushing to my ear causing things to sound as if we were in an auditorium. The man had tattoos all over his body that didn't seem to have any meaning or particular value. I could see them on his neck and on his exposed arms. His beard was fully connected and cut down. He was tall and bulky with somewhat curly hair on his head.
'London'
The blood in my veins ran cold and I started to stop and began to shake like a leaf in the wind. I felt like I could piss myself with the amount of anxiety I was experiencing.
"What's wrong," Pine asked gripping my shoulder which I used for support to stand up. He was in protection mode.
"H-him he's here," I said pointing to London who was getting close. I could see my hands vibrating as if we were on a rickety wooden rollercoaster.
"That's him," Alder asked catching on and setting his bags down on the ground. As the man got closer Pine pulled me behind him acting as a human shield. The closer he got the more scared I became till I saw something odd. The man had an old scar on his forehead along with several face tattoos which London did not have as of the last time I had the misfortune of seeing his family.
"Hey bitch nigga," Alder barked and began walking up to the poor man who was just trying to purchase his items without any problems. He was drawing the attention of people around us and the man looked confused. Alder walked up to him and they were chest to chest and his fingers directly in his face.
"Wait that's not him, I don't have my contacts in," I said loudly which hurt my vocal cords a little bit.
"What Elm he's going to try to hurt you can't protect him," Pine tried to assure me as he looked at the stranger who was looking both bewildered and increasingly angry.
"That's not him, he... That's not him I promise you guys I'm not defending anyone he just looked similar to London," I said walking away to a bench so I could sit down as my body was beginning. I could feel my blood flowing quicker than ever. I felt hot and knew I had to be crying. Pine was next to me trying to calm me down by rubbing my back but that was only making it worse. I started breathing really quickly and rapidly it felt like I couldn't get enough air. I felt light-headed and my chest began to ache. I could hear people murmuring but it all blurred together. I felt like I was dying or like my head was going to explode. I heard my brothers talking but it was like I was underwater trying to hear what they were saying from the surface. It felt like I was gasping for hours until I felt a warm touch and smelled lemon oil. I looked around but my vision seemed to gotten blurry while I had the squeezed closed but I could tell it was Marco.
"Hey," he said in directly into my ears which caught my attention as his warm breath hit against my ear.
"Hey, I am going to need you to calm down."
I couldn't calm down I had just had a meltdown because I thought I saw London. I was so embarrassed and stressed that slowing down my breathing seemed impossible. I felt strong fingers clamp my mouth shut and close one of my nostril passages. I started swinging at Marco to let me breathe as I struggled but my hits were useless. Slowly my breathing started to slow to a higher pace than what was normal for me but at the same time, it was manageable. I felt my hearing slowly clear up along with my vision. The pain in my head eased a little bit.
"You're okay now," Marco said his fingers were pulled off my mouth and nose moving towards my face to wipe the tears. I felt his beefy arms wrap around me from the side and I just laid on the side of him trying to not feel embarrassed for being human. He rocked me back and forth while people walked around us either blatantly staring or glancing at us while they hurried past. I felt both humiliated in myself for being such a mess in public and also felt incredibly comfortable as Marco whispered to me that everything would be okay and that I shouldn't worry about what people around us were thinking. He really cared for me as if we had known each other for years and even with being around my family I had no idea how I would have survived without him coming into my life.