The Guard To My Sanctuary - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I was riding on a high from my third date with Marco last weekend. He took me to the Rose Garden where we took a bunch of pictures together in front of a bunch of diverse species of flora. It was super cheesy but it was also cute at the same time. I caught myself scrolling through the pictures of us kissing next to a wall covered in ivy. The way the light caught against our skin and the shadows contoured our faces naturally. All of the caring and protectiveness he had displayed since I knew him had been amplified to a level I didn't know existed. He'd send love letters in the mail during the week. Not emails but they were actual handwritten letters in orchid colored ink since it was my favorite color on personalized stationery that smelled like baby powder another one of my favorite smells. He'd bring me stuffed teddy bears that smelled like his cologne to sleep with which both helped me be able to sleep in my bed alone without stress and made nice pillow alternatives. I knew my Dad was happy about having his bed to himself since I would wake up in the middle of the night hungry or thirsty and wake him up. I also randomly received care packages from him which consisted of multiple big bags of different types of Skittles and different flavors of Kit Kat's from around the world. He'd have little letters in the box and chocolates for when I got my period. I craved chocolate a lot during those times along with anything sugary or greasy. Honestly, any food that I could get inside of me would work. I've never felt so cared for by anyone removing my family from consideration. I was really in love with him and didn't know how to not be a fourteen-year-old girl about it and go carve out initials in a park bench somewhere. When I first realized after our first date I almost broke my neck jumping up and down in the bathtub during a shower. It was a moment of clarity where I realized how I was feeling was, in fact, love.
My thoughts were rattled by the churning in my gut like someone was roughly massaging my stomach with their fists. It was period time for me and the current cycle was a rough one. I ran to my bathroom and quickly opened the lid of the toilet just as the contents of my stomach were jetting out of my mouth making me hack and gag. When it was finally done I flushed the bloody water down the drain and closed the lid. I stood up feeling drained. My period didn't work as a woman's because I  wasn't built like the average woman. I was in a gray area that was masculine and feminine biologically by leaned more on the masculine side. I had ovaries and a uterus inside me along with working testis and a penis.
I was a little light headed since I hadn't eaten in two days which meant I was on my last day of menstruating. I brushed my teeth then swished mouthwash and spit it out before stripping out of my clothes and turned the shower on waiting for the water to heat up before getting in. I grabbed my loofa and squeezed some Jasmine scented body soap on my skin. I found the product online while shopping for random stuff on Amazon, it was the same product my mother used to use on her skin. As the suds foamed up and the aroma vaporized making the whole room smell of the flower. When I was done showering I dried off and wrapped a towel around me making my way to my room to find something to wear. I decided on one of Marco's t-shirts and a pair of nylon shorts that hid under the long shirt. I was feeling quite effeminate which was probably due to the surge of estrogen in my body; so I wanted my outfit to reflect those feelings. I then made my way downstairs where my Dad was sitting since he had gotten the day off. He was a huge Rugby fan and he and my Uncle were on face time watching some game together yelling at the television screen. They did things like that all the time. I was worried that my father didn't have friends which was not untrue. He and my Uncle just enjoyed being around each other. I was pretty sure it had something to do with my Mommy. My Daddy and Uncle Kunaal were friends before my Dad met my Mommy. When my Dad saw my Mommy watching her brother at a college soccer game; as he told it he knew immediately that he would marry her. My Uncle wasn't too happy about them getting together since my Dad in my Uncles words 'was a player who would fuck any girl he could'. My Dad tried it with my mother but she wasn't having it. She made him take her out on five dates before she let him kiss her. My Mom told their love story more as an annoyance at first sight. She said she wasn't even sure she would love him until he actually started to put in the work. Then my oldest brother happened, their marriage, then Pine and four years later me. I walked over to him and my uncle started complaining about what I was wearing.
"Put on some damn clothes," my Uncle complained at seeing my bare legs. I just rolled my eyes and focused on how comfortable I was.
"Yeah what's the point in spending your money on clothes if you're just going to wear short shorts and your boyfriend's t-shirts. There are these things called pants that I wish you would wear," my dad added and I rolled my eyes at the both of them.
"Do you want any pasta salad with tuna, I'm about to make some?" I asked completely disregarding what they were saying. That was the best way to get the conversation to end with the both of them.
"Of course," he smiled since that was strangely his second favorite food behind ribs.
"We'll stop complaining about my clothes and maybe you'll get some," I countered.
"You know I should kick your smart ass out," he said mean mugging me.
"You'd miss me far too much," I stated the obvious and walked to the kitchen and started fixing his food. I was boiling the elbow pasta in salted water when my dad came in walking into the kitchen to grab himself a beer.
"Darling," he said turning to me his tone was suspect. I side eyed him not feeling fond of the vibe he was giving off.
"Do you love him," he asked me seriously. He was trying to uncap his bottle while talking to me which was a little distraction. I looked away not completely sure how he would respond if I told him that I was head over heels for Marco. It was a bit wild to fall in love with the guy who saved me just a few months after getting out of a sex trafficking operation.
"Yeah I do," I told my dad with a huge smile. There was some anxiety in my words but I knew that I only wanted to be with Marco.
"I remember being in love, you guys and your mom are in all of my good memories," he said smiling at nothing in particular.b
"Dad have you dated," I asked hoping he had.
"I have off and on thing but nothing too serious I was so busy looking out trying to find you that I never really had the time to focus on another person," he said opening his beer and taking a sip.
"Why haven't you started dating not that I'm back and safe" I asked concerned that he may be lonely.
"Who says that I haven't, I did say on and off didn't I," he corrected me.
"Well actually you said off and on, but who is she," I asked.
"You'll find out when I'm ready for you all to know, I'm just happy that two of my sons are with someone. Pine better hurry up before his Great Aunts start arranging him with some of their friend's daughter's," he said taking another sip of the beer in his beefy paws. I knew he was going to be hungry soon since beer had that effect on him.
"You're becoming a fish dad what's are you scared to tell me," I commented on how quickly he was downing his drink. I knew that he only really drank when something was on his mind.
"Well son I have some bad news for you," he said as I started stirring the water while waiting for him to burp so he could speak.
"What's the bad news," I asked not really knowing what it could be.
"The trail for London has gone cold. We know that he's a big gang leader on the east coast who has his hands in a little bit of everything but that's all that is known about him other than a few sketches. Your... Rape kit didn't have any evidence we could use so we couldn't try DNA and the place you told us about had been burned to the ground and the police and FBI on that end aren't to be trusted. We are sure there might have been some evidence tampering and someone clued in that animal as to what was going on. We didn't even find any of the other victims in that area. We were told that it was like they had cleared out of the city overnight. I'm still looking for leads but it looks like the man you call London has fled the country. Especially since he had access to ports and seems to have enough money to pay off or have people killed as needed. I wish we were farther on this case so we all could rest easy," he said. I started shaking a little but I was determined to calm down.b
"He's on vacation while I have to worry about if he's coming back or not."
My dad was looking at me waiting for me to fall out and start gasping for air like I did in the mall but I wasn't going to do that.
"I'm fine dad, I can handle bad news I'm not made out of glass I won't break every time you have to give me bad news or tough love. Would I prefer him in prison, yes, but out of the country works for now. Stop drinking before you damage your liver," I said grabbing the can of tuna I had on the island's countertop and used the can opener to do the lid.
"You're going to be sick in three...," He said with a restrained smile on his face placing the bottle down.
"Two..."
"One..."
"Shit," I said feeling my stomach churn again even though there was nothing in my gut to release. I ran to the powder room and threw up so hard my throat throbbed afterward because of how violently I had heaved into the toilet. My Father came in handing me a bottle of mouth wash when I was finished he had his phone in his hand and my Uncle was laughing.
"He always forgets that seafood smells make him throw up while he was going through his thing," he said still laughing.
"Thanks for the support," I said walking.
"And watch your mouth Darling you know I don't like to hear you cussing," my Dad said walking to the living room.
"I'm close to twenty-one years old I'm an adult," I said.
"I don't care your still a child till me," he said. Making me smile as I held my shirt up to my nose in order to stop myself from throwing up again.