The Guard To My Sanctuary - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Three weeks of not walking had caused me to go stir crazy. Everything was brought to me and I was carried from the bed to the couch in the living room. Thalia had been my most frequent babysitter which was fine because that meant Cartier was coming and I was going to hear good gossip from Thalia who had her ears I'm everything. Nia had even come a few times to share in my pregnancy misery. I had never had a friend before other than Marco so it was nice to have another person to talk to especially one that was far along in their pregnancy. Oscar was even pretty cool, he'd randomly have dinner sent to us through some service since he knew of my troubles. I had told them the truth about how exactly I had gotten pregnant two weeks ago and they seemed pretty cool about it after their initial doubts. Pine was my current babysitter and had spent most of the time getting me food, playing video games or carrying me to a restroom. I had a small meltdown earlier when I wanted to take a nap but couldn't roll over on my stomach which for some reason really made me bawl like a baby. The smallest things could set me off even an ASPCA commercial would have me crying my eyes out. Pine seemed to be the aptest at rolling with my emotions and calling me on my bullshit which I liked and disliked equally.
"I'm not doing this with you, you're either going to eat the fucking taco with tomatoes or not at all," he said handing me the plate. I was craving tacos but forgot to tell him no tomatoes while he was making it and he seemed to have enough of my demands. It was kind of funny seeing him pissed since it happened so infrequently.
"Fine," I said snatching the plate and saw him mentally restrain himself from smacking my jaw loose.
"Kutiya," I called him a bitch in Hindi under my breath. I was feeling a bit bold but not bold enough to say it aloud.
"What was said," Pine asked me looking to me from the other side of the couch. I had the blinds drawn and the curtains pulled so I could watch my National Geographic in the dark as if it was a movie. I loved watching animals do animal things. It was interesting to see them respond to outside factors in a unique way that humans could barely understand.
"Nothing," I responded. I placed my hand on my tummy and rubbed it feeling the kicks of my children. Calloway is the only one who didn't pummel my organs.
"You want to feel," I asked Pine who was looking at me.
"Yeah," he said with a smile that he tried to fight. For some reason, he always hated for people to see him smile and was content to have a resting bitch face. I grabbed his hand and placed it first on Ozias who was doing the ATL stomp on my pelvis and Harlem shaking next to my bladder. Pine laughed at the sensation. I then pulled his hand over to Maddox who was doing the running man. Finally, I took him over to Calloway who was moving his feet at a turtle's pace.
"That's so cool," Pine said to me with childlike wonder in his voice.
"Yeah, it's something," I said taking a bite of my taco and scrunching my face up at the taste of the tomatoes. Pine sat down next to me and borrowed the other half of my blanket making himself comfortable.
"When are you going to have a kid or bring a girlfriend to meet us," I asked him wondering if he was content to die alone.
"Whenever I feel like it," he told me and changed the channel to some show about cars.
"Why do you have to be an asshole all the time," I asked annoyed at him out of nowhere.
"You always have a damn attitude this is why I mind my own business. Anytime I try to be nice people like you stomp on my feelings," I started to go off before he put his hands up.
"I just broke up with someone damn nigga you're doing a lot. I'm going to need you to do a backflip out of your fucking feelings. Who the hell do you think you're talking to. You are eight months pregnant but don't think I won't beat your ass the moment they pop out, don't play with me I'm still your older brother," he said but all I was stuck on is the fact that he just broke up with someone.
"What's her name," I asked playing the pronoun game while looking at him while he tried to hide his emotions.
"Trenton," he responded. It took a moment for it to register but when it did my jaw almost dropped.
"You're gay," I asked him in half shock.
"I'm Pansexual there are more than four sexualities Elm. Trenton was my first same-sex partner," he told me. His stoic façade chipping ever so slightly while talking about his personal life. He looked off into the distance thinking about something that seemed painful for him.
"Come on over to mama Elm, I can make it all better, "I said holding out my arms. He rolled his eyes and looked away from me crossing his arms. After a while, he realized I wasn't going to let it go and leaned to the side of me.
"How did you guys meet," I asked him while running his back. I was low-key letting him but he didn't notice.
"When I got diagnosed with cancer I went to chemo for a while. He was scheduled the same day as me for his treatments; he had stage one Melanoma like I did and was aggressively being treated for it. We started talking one day and we ended up having so much in common. He liked video games, cars, and basketball. When I got better I asked him on a date not knowing if he would say yes or not. He said yes, obviously and I took him to the cheesecake factory and we had a great time. We ended up going on more and more dates and before I knew it we were in love," he said then sighed.
"Why didn't you tell anyone, you guys were together for years," I asked. There was a long silence until I realized why.
"I had been missing for two years," I said.
"Hhhhhhhh yeah, Dad wasn't in a good place. Everyone was blaming themselves. It felt wrong to be happy when we didn't know what happened to you or if we would ever see you again. I wasn't ashamed of him I just didn't know how to be happy. I'm not ashamed to be pan or anything I was just in a difficult position. Even when you came back you were so fragile it didn't seem like the right time. I'm sure Alder and Dad know. I was so lovestruck with Trenton I'd light up when we were in treatment and we would talk for hours on the phone when we were still teens," he said.
"I'm sorry," I started to apologize to him.
"It's not your fault don't start that," he said shifting us so that I was leaning on his side instead of the other way around.
"Alright, why did you two break up," I asked the pertinent question.
"A month ago I caught him in bed with some nigga he told me that was just his good friend. I had been suspicious of their friendly relationship and brought it up to him multiple times and he made it seem like I was crazy and jealous. So it was our anniversary right and I was going to drop off a bunch of flowers at his place since he liked them. So I walk into his apartment, mind you I had been helping him pay for it for a little over six months. So when I entered I heard moaning and the bed creaking. At first, I thought he left porn on his laptop since he was good for doing that. When I opened the door I see him getting fucked by his friend on the bed. I just tossed the flowers at him and start breaking shit since I'd never hit him. His friend almost caught a swift and justified fade. I never understood why people who get cheated on go after the side hoe when they didn't make any promises to only be with me but this nigga knew about me so he was liable to get his forehead dented. But anyways I break a whole bunch of shit and leave. We don't talk for a couple of days. I ignore all his calls till I get home from work and he's there talking about how he was so sorry and it was only because he was on shrooms. It was a lame ass excuse but we were together for seven years so I was more willing to work on it than I would be with someone else, anyone else. We go to couples counseling and shit but that wasn't working because he refused to cut off that friend of his. So fast forward two weeks later and I catch him with the friend on some sort of date at the movies. Normally I wouldn't make a scene in public but I go up to them and start cussing them both out. So the friend ends up telling me to run up and I don't respond well to challenges as you well know. I tell him to come to catch these hands in the parking lot. Mind you the nigga is big as hell so he must have thought I would be scared which was wrong. We got outside and I end up beating the shit out of him the next thing I know Trenton starts hitting me and I snapped and pushed him into a car and he runs up to me so I knock his jaw sideways. I told him that we were done and he starts crying and shit but I wasn't falling for his games. I hop in my car and pull off just as some Caucasian threatened to call the police. I changed my locks and blocked him on everything. And to add a cherry on top of the shit sundae, the nigga was his second cousin," Pine said.
"Damn he's an asshole and fucking gross. I mean the nigga is a cousin fucker, like of all the available dick he chose his cousin's. You should have told someone we're a family we should be able to tell us you were going through all of that. We could have helped," I told him.
"What would you have done. I'd be in jail if you tried to intervene and got hurt. You have my nephew's to worry about not the drama going on in my life. It's my job to figure my stuff out and your job is to make sure you figure your stuff out. I mean you haven't lived life honestly. You went from Dad's house to being captive back to Dad's house and now you live with Marco. It's unfair of me to put my issues on your shoulders, not when you have three mouths to feed, psychological issues that I know have gotten better since you don't really go to therapy as often but you still have to work on it, and when are you and Marco getting married," he asked me.
"I don't know we don't really talk about it," I answered honestly since it wasn't that big of a deal to me.
"See you have your own shit to think about," he said pulling me closer.
"Yeah but next time you're in a relationship I want to be the first to know," I said dropping the conversation sensing he was tired of talking about himself.
"Deal," he said to me.
"Now could you make me a taco without tomatoes," I asked him with a smile.