The Guard To My Sanctuary - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

"Can I come in Call, please just for a minute," I heard Ozias's deep voice boom from the other side of the door like a trumpet and rolled my eyes at his guff. He knocked again so I turned my headphones on allowing the melancholy music to mask the sound of his voice which wasn't really working since it was so deep and my headphones were barely working. I wasn't even furious anymore since I had a day to calm down but the pettiness in me wouldn't let me just give in and have a discussion with my brother. Beo had slept in the guest room and we had a discussion in the middle of the night about things. I wasn't mad that they were doing whatever they wanted with each other I was more pissed that they lied and snuck around. Also, he had the nerve to be sucking my brother's dick and breathing in my face in the middle of the night, he was a terrible mouth breather when he slept. On top of the shock, my emotions were in flux from my period causing a surge of hormones to flood my brain. I felt bad for Beo because my brother could claim him till the cows come home but he's been a known cheater in the "relationships" he was in.
I closed my eyes and thought about better things, like the way Germany smiled in an attempt to ignore my brother and it was working until my headphones were taken off of my ears and I opened my eyes. Ozias's hulk sized ass was standing over me with an eyebrow raised like I was disturbing him when it was, in fact, the opposite. I had forgotten that the burglar in training had learned to pick the locks a few years ago.
"You know I don't like people in my space uninvited and you are definitely uninvited," I said turning over so my back was to him.
"Look can we just talk baby bro, you can't still be mad. Maddox is over it and he actually got hit, I'm over you hitting me and you made up with Beo. What didn't I do so wrong that you can't even have a discussion with me," he asked sitting on my bed without asking which was a pet peeve of mine.
"I'm capable of having a discussion with you I just don't want to. There is a glaring difference between the two," I said to him.
"Are you really that mad, do you like Beo or something. Are you jealous," he asked me in a hushed tone. The question was so ludicrous that I had to turn over and look at him just so he could see my face and the judgment on it.
"What the hell kind of question is that. Beo is like another brother to me. The real question is do you even really like him or was you put in a corner by mommy and dad," I asked realizing that he had dragged me into a conversation.
"I don't know. He's the only guy I've been with more than once but I don't know about the whole exclusive relationship with. I'm young why should I be tied down to someone. Beo holds this weird place in my life that I can't explain," He said. I looked at him and gave him a slow eye roll that was full of judgment.
"You know you sound like a generic brand fuckboy, right. Like pure concentrated authentic fuck nigga," I asked him.
"Yeah, I know. I've never said that out loud hearing it made me cringe. But the thing is I'm not even sure I'm bisexual. I don't like masculine guys at all. It doesn't make me hard or anything I'm actually repulsed like you are by pussy. Remember when we showed you a picture of a vagina for the first time and you got physically ill. Anyway, I don't even like tomboys or androgynous type of girls. It's weird so I feel like I'm dragging him on while I figure out what I actually am, I know it shitty of me to do but I kinda do like him in a way but I also want the space to figure things out," he said to me not realizing that I had started typing on my phone.
"Are you even listening to me nigga," he asked me sounding annoyed.
"You're tone, I keep a knife under my bed and I will stab you with it," I said to him finishing my Google search.
"It sounds like you're a femme sexual from what I'm reading, you really should utilize Google more often Zi, I mean it's free. So it says that you fit into this subcategory of bisexuality where you are attracted to feminine qualities despite the sex of a person. That's all fine and well but you can't drag Beo along while you get used to being you. He's really sensitive and you could really hurt him so you need to figure out those confusing feelings fast and make a decision. Also, I'll take my official apology now because we're not going to move on without one. You're good for giving some half-assed apology without addressing what you did, and I'm not mommy so I won't accept that," I said to him with a serious face.
"I know, I know, but I am truly sorry for having a fling with your best friend behind your back. It was wrong of me. Honestly, I selfishly didn't take your feelings into consideration when I made those actions because I wasn't man enough to be real about what was going on and made your friend lie to you about it. Also, I apologize for when I came after you for something you can't change about yourself or would change about yourself because it was wrong and if it wasn't for that condition being something ma lives with none of us would be here today. Now can we hug it out and move on. I hate when we don't get along," Ozais asked me with his arms outstretched for a hug.
"Yeah, I'm sorry for putting my hands on you knowing that if you hit me Dad would kill you. Also for calling you out of your name. And I may or may not have sprayed some cooking oil on your Jordans, that I will replace," I lied and hugged him back. My brothers and I never argued for too long I wasn't even able to cut them off like I would do anyone else since we had this weird bond as multiples that couldn't be explained in any of the words I knew.
"About damn time, I swear the next time one of you all hit me I'm breaking arms," Maddox said poking his head into my room with a big smile. I reached for a pillow and threw it at him. He retreated before to pillow could hit him and it fell to the floor.
"Hey could you cook us dinner, nobody knows how to make anything but you," Ozias said since I couldn't least cook a hamburger, but I had at that moment decided to leave for the weekend.
"Not tonight I'm going out," I said getting up and going to my closet to ask.
"Where are you going," Ozias questioned sounding protective.
"To find a point in time when you became my Daddy and I was required to answer your questions," I responded while grabbing a pajama set and shoving it into an empty bookbag and looking for a new outfit.
"You know dad and mom would kill you if you left," Ozias said to the side of me.
"Mommy and Daddy were so over us and our bullshit that they decided to get away for nine days. I think I'm going to follow their lead. I'll be back when I get back," I said finding out my black and white Adidas pants and it's matching shirt and hoodie. I grabbed the shoes off the ground and electronic devices and their cords then left out the room with Ozias following after me like a shadow.
"Nigga where are you going," Ozias asked again as I walked into the bathroom.
"To ask a man about a boat to China," I said repeating what grandma used to say to us when we were minding "grown folks business".
"Zi just let him be," Beo said coming out of the game room in a shirt that I had just bought. I didn't say anything since he had run out of clothes to wear and would have to go home to pick some up at some point.
"Man alright," he said as I closed the door. I quickly took a shower and took care of other hygienic needs before leaving. I stopped by my room to grab my key and my wallet. I opened a rideshare app and ordered a car to the house. I never had to wait long for a car and it pulled up, in under two minutes. I quickly checked to make sure my uncle Corey and Dad had put funds in my account before telling the driver to take me to the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. He nodded and drove playing music on the way. I dozed off from the car ride since I loved the peace that came with riding in a car with good music. When needed I could be outgoing but naturally, I like moments where I didn't have to talk and didn't have to pretend to care what people were talking about. The hour and a half drive took a little longer due to traffic but when we got there the driver woke me up. I thanked him and gave him a tip with the little bit of paper money I had on me and stepped outside the area that wasn't too bad. There were a few addicts milling about which wasn't too bad. The hipsters were going about being draining and smelling woodsy on purpose and talking about artisanal macaroni and other bullshit. I felt safe walking down the street even giving some homeless woman all the clubs I had in my pocket wishing I had more. I made a turn to a street filled with townhomes that belonged to the techies who came during the gentrification boom. Some of them were empty when the tech bubble burst and all of the transplants had to move back to their+ homes in bumble fuck Minnesota, some were still filled with people who took advantage of you the housing market crash. I walked to one that was painted all black and had an Asian guy in a drawn hoodie standing out front bobbing his head to the music he had playing aloud. I walked to it and made my way up the stairs.
"Is Germany here," I asked hoping that he was since I was stuck in San Francisco. If I had to ask my uncle Pine to pick me up he'd defiantly have some questions and I couldn't rent a room for the night because I wasn't eighteen plus the charge would be harder to explain to my parents.
"Why are you asking," the man asked looking up at me and reached to his side. He was too high to realize his gun was on the opposite side of his body.
"Tell Germany that Calloway is here," I said to the guy, not in the least bit scared. Germany was a drug dealer of the hard drug variety. It was hard to sell weed in almost any state since it was legal in most of them so hard drugs was where the money was at and Germany had his hands in the pot. I met him six months earlier when a few guys were about to jump me after Maddox got into a fight and embarrassed one of them. They were about to kick my ass when Germany showed up and saved me. He put me in his car and took me all the way to his house after I refused to speak. I thought I was going to get kidnapped like my dad was but he made dinner for me and let me stay in a guestroom for the night after I told him my parents were both out of town for work. He was twenty-two which I knew wouldn't go well if I ever actually introduced him to my family. There was something about him that was all wrong for me but at the same time all right. There were parallels between Germany and my dad. Growing up I had and still idolized my dad and mom's relationship. I liked how soft my dad is with my mommy but at the same time be hard and strong. Germany was super soft with me as if I didn't q
Was a glass doll. There was also this hardness to him when he spoke about me. He was non-committal in a sense but also was very protective of me which I found sexy as hell. He could hold me gently but also knew how to manhandle me but not cross the line into abusing me.
"Baby boy what the fuck are you doing out here yelling it's ten at night. Jacob let his ass in and why are you gripping your shirt," Germany said to his little worker. He stepped to the door smiling at me. His hooded eyes looked even smaller as he squinted. I couldn't see where his pupils started and the shadows cast by his brow bone ended. He was fine as hell with a thick beard that he had trimmed and a skin tone that was just a few shades above what would put him in the category of being brown skinned. He had full lips and straight white teeth. From the neck down he was covered in tattoos. He had a tall athletic body that towered over mine which wasn't that hard to do.
The Asian guy I now knew as Jacob got up and opened the screen door which was something that Germany could have done himself and let me inside. The moment I crossed the threshold Germany had me in his arms lifting me off the ground and was kissing me sloppily. I could taste the weed on his breath which was something I had gotten used to.
"You don't answer my text all day but you think you can show up when you want to," Germany said putting me down and swatting my ass.
"Yeah pretty much, I'm spending the weekend so I hope you don't plan on having any of your hos over," I said walking deeper into the home that looked industrial in design.
"You know nobody but my boys are over here," he said to me smiling as his dogs, two large red nose pit bulls ran up to me jumping up and down while I petted them.
"Yeah right," I responded walking into his kitchen as his dogs Barney and Caillou followed me. I opened the refrigerator to find that there was nothing but alcohol, soda, and old Chinese food inside.
"I'm hungry," I said grabbing the cartons of hard pork fried rice and throwing it away before he tried to eat it and catch food poisoning. He nodded walking to the door then came back a minute later.
"He'll bring us something baby boy. What I want to know is why you come here and how you get here," he asked walking over to me. He lifted me on the counter and stood between my legs.
"I got a ride and my parents are out of town for the week so I took the chance to see you. Plus some drama that's mostly cleared up," I said placing my arms around his neck. He smelled like some manly cologne that I really liked along with weed which I wasn't too fond of but could deal with.
"Aww you missed Papi," he said with a smile and gave me a quick kiss before pulling me off the counter and carrying me to the living room and sat on the couch with me in his lap.
"So what have you been up to other than giving away what's mine," he said squeezing my ass almost to the point of it being painful but had a smile on his face.
"You don't own me," I told him with a straight face.
"That's what you think," he asked me with an eyebrow cocked up.
"That's what I know, but I haven't been doing anything really but going to school. I only really have one friend," I said leaning into him and placing my chin on his shoulder feeling his heartbeat as out chest pressed together.
"Yeah, that's good my little genius getting his education. So what's really going on you know better than to come without telling me? I mean this neighborhood isn't all that dangerous but you know how I feel about you being in danger," he said moving his hands up to my waist and pulling me away slightly so we were looking face to face.
"Nothing's wrong," I started to say but he gave me a look that told me he wasn't going for my deflections.
"I walked into my brother's room and saw my best friend Beo in his bed naked. They have been sleeping together for a while. I ended up getting into a fight him then my older brother tried to break it up then after that my parents broke it up. I don't know... I was a mess," I said to him.
"So you're on your period, you like to fight when you're on it," he said to me. I had given him the rundown on my condition and my whole Mom being a man who in fact did mother me which he didn't believe at first till I showed him a picture of my Mommy who was full term at the time with us.
"That's none of your business. I might be emotional because they genuinely pissed me off," I said to him.
"Don't start that shit, are you even mad or would you even had done all of that if you weren't on it," he asked me and I had to think.
"Didn't think so," he said with a smile feeling triumphant at out arguing me.
"Whatever, but I don't really care all that much. I think my brothers going to end up playing Beo. He's still trying to figure things out and was basically forced into a relationship but I hope he proves me wrong. Now if I say something to Beo I'm not only going against blood but also since I reacted so poorly he might say I was doing it out of spite," I said realizing my grandfather's speech on measuring my reactions was true.
"Yeah you gonna have to let shit play out on its own," he said just as Jacob came in with a large brown paper bag that he sat next to us.
"Thanks, man, you can go home," Germany said to him. Jacob nodded and left out but not before looking back at us and not even trying to hide the fact that he slipped his hands into his pants.
"Eat baby," he said handing me the bag to open. I opened the paper bag by ripping it in half. Inside was Chinese food which was Germany's favorite. I grabbed the small box that held white rice and then grabbed the Honey chicken and chopsticks. Germany leaned over grabbing his shrimp and broccoli. We ate in silence just enjoying being around one another. It was like everything melted away when I was next to him, no worries about school, family, friends. It was just the two of us and nothing else. I ended up placing my head on his lap since I got full quicker. He ate the rest of his food while making a few texts, probably to his runners to not come back to the townhouse. I wished he would leave the illegal drugs alone. He owned two highly successful dispensaries I didn't see the need but he told me it had something to do with his father whom he never talked about.
"Hey isn't that the same shoes you were wearing last time I saw you," he said finally done eating.
"What, I guess," I said to him confused as to why he focused on that.
"My baby can't be wearing the same things over and over," he said digging into his pocket. He pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to me. I looked at it and didn't see a bill under a twenty in the crumpled up ball of currency.
"Germany I can't take that," I said to him.
"I'm not asking you if you want it, you're mine so you can't be around here looking raggedy," he said running his free hand through my hair and shoving the ball of money in the other. I reluctantly took it and started un-balling it and counted it up.
"Papi, this too much you handed me $1,470," I said to him trying to put it back in his hands.
"Nah baby boy that's not nearly enough but come on I'm tired," he said even though it was only ten. Weed always seems to make him sleepy. We both got up off the couch and we walked in his bedroom which I thought was too small for what he paid for it. I placed all of my important stuff in my bag and plugged up my electronics. I pulled out my phone to let Cartier who had made it to the house, Beo, and my brothers that I was alive and at a friend's house for the weekend then ordered them a pizza so they wouldn't eat all the snacks before I came back since I had been given so much money. I sat on the bed after placing my phone on do not disturb and started untying my shoes when everything was squared away. When I was finished I pulled my shirt and jacket off followed by my pants. Germany who was already down to his Versace brand underwear took the clothes and threw them into his trashcan.
"What the fuck Germany," I said to him looking at him as if he had six heads.
"By the time you get up you'll have something new to wear," He said to me. I was too tired from eating to argue and climbed under the covers at the top of the bed. Food always made me want to sleep.
"You know the rules," Germany said to me as he pulled his underwear off revealing his flaccid penis that when hard was a good nine inches. I reached underneath the covers and pulled my underwear off and threw them at Germany who caught them and threw them back and began to laugh. I rolled my eyes and flipped over tossing my undergarment on the floor. I felt the bed dip and knew that Germany had gotten in and soon his body was spooning mine. I could feel the warmth come off of him which was nice since I naturally ran cold.
"So when are you going to finally be mine and mine alone," he asked kissing the back of my neck.
"When you stop thinking that just because I'm young I'm willing to deal with the bullshit that comes along with being with you. I know you have been fucking anything with two legs and a cute face while I'm not around," I said to him.
"Like you haven't been with any guy you wanted whenever you felt like it," he responded back to me.
"I mean if you can do it then why can't I," I asked him and could feel his breath on my neck as he exhaled
"Look, man, you're not getting it, I'm willing to put all that aside for you. I don't want to end up all old and alone like my Pops pining over some woman that more than likely moved on," He said to me.
"You're just high," I responded to him.
"Nah baby boy I'm serious. I love your annoying, sometimes quiet, smart, cute ass. I know that age thing is a problem but we could make it all work. I'm even willing to try and get out of dealing for you. You know I only do this for my dad who needs the money I generate to keep afloat," he said to me.
"You love me," I asked him unsure he knew what he just said.
"Of course I love you, you love me right," he asked me. I turned to look at him and saw nothing but honesty written on his face.
"Yeah I love you," I said to him.
"See, so what the problem? I'm capable and want to be exclusive do you," he asked me.
"The problem is I don't want you to play with my feelings. Just because we say I love you don't mean that you won't do things to hurt me," I said to him.
"Baby boy, give me the chance to prove you wrong. I'm not saying this shit because of the weed. I need your ass. Please just give me one chance and I promise you I won't fuck it up," he said then kissed my cheek.
"Yes, but you have one chance," I responded blushing after thinking it over.
"Yes what," he asked me.
"Yes Papi," I said to him.
"Alright then it's settled, were doing the boyfriend thing now. I can promise you that you won't be disappointing," he said then cracked a smile and kissed me. I kissed him back and felt him pull me into his embrace. I had to pull away before we got too steamy.
"Calm down I'm not fucking you tonight, I don't have any condoms," he said to me seeing the look on my face.
"Good I'm tired now and," I started to speak but was cut off.
"Don't worry I'm not putting a baby in you yet, I'm not ready and you definitely aren't. You got to graduate high school then college before we do all that," he said to me and I turned around.
"You know it's a lot harder than you think," I asked him.
"I remember but trust me when I say this. I can make you feel so good you'll definitely get pregnant," Garmany said huskily into my ear while pulling me close.
"Whatever," I said closing my eyes.
"Yeah whatever," I heard him say. I started thinking about his last fuck up with me and turned around to face him.
"Papi," I said in a softer voice than normal.
"What baby," he asked as I started to trail my left hand down his chest. His hand went to squeeze my ass at the same time as my hand found its way to his dick and I tugged it a little feeling the warmth from his manhood radiating onto my cool hands. I released it and trailed my hands to his balls which I knew he liked. He moaned in his voice that was deep enough to cause vibrations to run over my body. Out of nowhere I grabbed them and squeezed them between my fingers.
"WHAT THE FUCK," He yelled out.
"If you ever call me a dumb bitch, especially over something as stupid as you getting mad at me for eating your fries. I'll cut them off in the middle of the night and shove them down your nose, understand...Papi," I asked squeezing a little bit harder at the end of my threat.
"Yeah nigga let me go please," he said through clenched teeth.
"Gimme a kiss first," I said smiling at the much bigger man who was pretty much powerless in the position I had him in. I puckered my lips and he had to use his hand to find and position of my face and he pecked my lips.  I immediately released my grasp on him and he exhaled sharply.
"Let's not have to have this chat again," I said with a smile and turned over. I may be younger but I wanted to be treated with the same amount of respect as someone closer to his age or the relationship wasn't going to work.
"It won't happen again baby boy," he said finally calming down and wrapping his arms around me.
"I really do love you and I'll do my best to not fuck this up," he said to me.
"I love you too," I said closing my eyes feeling comfortable in his arms.