The Guard To My Sanctuary - Chapter 53: Chapter 53

Ozias
I was feeling an emotion so foreign to me as I watched Beo blush while speaking to my teammate Parker. Beo was fresh-faced and wearing just a t-shirt that was tucked into his high-waisted jeans that hugged his figure perfectly. Parker said something that I couldn't hear that caused Beo release a genuine giggle from his mouth and his face to flush. I had never really been jealous before, of anyone. I wasn't poor so anything I wanted I just had to ask for. I looked good and even when I was shabby I was smart and had skills to fall back on in order to attract people. I walked up to them not wanting to make a scene but to mark my territory in a sense. I stepped over to Beo who glanced up at me with a 'what's are you doing' face and turned back to Parker who was six feet and muscle-bound. He was traditionally attractive and kept his auburn hair cut just at his shoulders.
"Wassup with you two," I asked semi-casually not wanting either of them to see me sweat.
"Nothing man was just telling Beo thanks for helping me in class. Mrs. Everstone would have torn me three additional assholes if she found out I didn't do her second make-up work in a row," He said with a smile at Beo who was still blushing.
"Oh cool, coach was asking for you. Something about GPA I think, "I lied and he quickly went in the direction of the gym knowing coach didn't like to be kept waiting.
"Why did you do that," Beo asked me annoyed.
"What," I asked with an innocent smile.
"Lie about Coach asking for him, and before you lie again just know that I actually listen to what your mom says when he talks and know that jaw manipulation, which you do subconsciously, is and an indication of when you're lying," He said starting to walk away from me and I followed him since we both had study hall trying to get his attention as he ignored me.
"Why were you talking to that nigga and blushing and shit. I thought we were a thing," I said low just for him to hear.
"Well, what were you doing talking to Elisa earlier today and had your hand on her lower back. You know she'll part them legs for anyone which is fine. I don't care about if she had a twenty man gangbang. What I care about is you looking like you were going to take her to the nearest stairwell," he shot at me and I had nothing to respond with.
"Sorry," I apologized simply not trying to dig myself into a hole of lies since I was apparently very readable.
"That you are my friend," he said sounding pissed. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back which caused the few other people running late to class to look at me but I waved them off.
"How about we ditch study hall it's both of our last class and I'll make up for that misjudgment," I said to him. He simply rolled his eyes at me before he kept trying to walk even though I wasn't allowing him to make it past the reach of his arms. The final bell rang and we were the only ones left in the hallway. I pulled him into a nearby janitor's closet and adjusted us so that he was close to me.
"Can we not," he said piqued by my proposed resolution. I knew he was pissed when he started biting his bottom lip as if it was a piece of chewing gum. He already had the thing with his parents to deal with later on in the day so my shit wasn't helping his mood.
"Just calm down I'm trying to be nice," I said and tried to kiss him but he moved so that it landed on his cheek which was soft and smelled of peaches.
"You only do this stuff when we're alone and I'm not in the mood for it. Just say you don't want to be with me. For some reason, just can't cut you out of my life on my own so please respect or pity me enough to end it for me. I'm so fucking stupid and dumb over some dick. You know I'm better than this I could find someone who doesn't have to teeter back and forth between liking me or not," He said trying to pull away from me. I didn't expect him to go off on me at all and I felt like shit causing him to tear up. I still was on the fence about Beo but at the same time, I was intelligent enough to understand that jealousy meant that some form of fond feelings was in place that I wanted to explore albeit at the expense of his happiness which I knew was selfish.
"Baby please just come with me I promise you I'll make it worth your time. I know I'm not the best with you but I want to try," I said letting him go. Ma always taught us that people like to be given space and choice and that was exactly what I was giving Beo in order to decide what was best for him.
"Don't you have practice," He asked with an attitude. I pulled out my phone telling Cartier that she didn't need to take Beo home. She replied happily telling me way too much information about what she and her boyfriend were going to be doing after school. Beo cleared his throat signaling he was not happy to be kept waiting.
"I'll skip practice, I'll have to run extra laps tomorrow but it's worth it," I said to him. He looked at me for a while before nodding.
"Where are you taking me, I'm not walking but for so long," he said.
"I don't know yet let's just leave," I said pulling him so that we were chest to chest. I hadn't thought past getting him to say yes. My hands slid down his back only for him to jerk away from me.
"No ass until you earn it," he said. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand and reached for the doorknob. I took a deep breath and opened the door and pulled him with me. Ignoring whispers from the few people that we passed I navigated us to the side door and left out the building down a pathetic behind the school that led us to a shopping area. I looked around while Beo adjusted his bookbag on his back.
"You know Amy saw you holding my hand. She probably told the whole school and the alumni of the last decade by now," He said to me.
"I mean who's going to beat my ass about it," I said in a calm tone even though I was nervous about any backlash I would get. Especially from the team, there were DL guys on the team but the culture was still very straight and misogynistic. I was worried that it would become a problem on the field which was where I needed us all to be in harmony in order to get my scholarship. I worked too hard on my studies and my craft to mess it up because a group of guys doesn't agree with who I'm fucking.
"Oh," Beo said as I took us to a French bakery. He loved macaroons so I got him a few birthday flavored ones and ordered myself cookies and cream bread pudding and we sat down on a near a wall under a picture painted by a local artist of a little girl in a honey yellow dress holding a tulip.
"So um," I said not knowing how to actually date. I had never gotten past fucking and barely speaking so I was completely out of my element.
"This is when you ask me about my day since you know pretty much everything there is to know about me," he said taking a bite from his pistachio flavored macaroon.
"Oh well how was your day," I asked him giving him a bright smile really putting in work to not show how nervous I was.
"It was fine, had to deal with this jerk who is on 'some I don't want you but nobody else can have you, bullshit'," he responded taking a sip of his complimentary water.
"Look I'm sorry, I just honestly."
"Scared, I know a thing or two about being scared. You know I played in my mom's makeup when I was seven years old and got caught preparing a sickening beat. I mean just as I was getting the cut crease together which I was imitating from a makeup book my mom earned my dad barged in and lost it. He almost drowned me washing it off of my face. I can remember him dunking my face into the sink and smacking me. When my mom found out she threw every brush, cheap ass foundation bottle and dollar store makeup pallet she had at me. Then they beat me till she threw me down the stairs. Mind you at six the only thing I was worried about was what Curious George would be doing on that night's episode. I didn't know that I was gay all I wanted to do was look pretty like my cousin but they hated me for it from that moment on. So just thinking about going to that house to get them to sign papers to legally not be responsible for me anymore makes me want to throw up. Last time I was there my mom used me as an ashtray," he said holding his arm up revealing a few burn scars.
"Damn Beo," I said reaching for him but he pulled away before I could touch him.
"Now what I don't understand why a guy who is being raised by two dads' one of whom can get pregnant, would be scared of being bisexual. Your brother is out and proud and is half your size. What's your big fear, the only reason you even pulled that little stunt was that you felt jealous, do you even want me or am I wasting my time, because you know being with me is an opportunity of a lifetime?"
"It's about my career, think about it. Michael Sam and just a few years ago what maybe five guys in the NFL came out as Gay or Bisexual. They still talk about the things they go through and the opportunity that they miss out on. Then we have to deal with slick comments already from niggas at school who's father would rather drink bleach than parent them, but they still talk shit about my dads' and brother. Then I have to deal with what people are going to say about you. You know they are going to say you turned me the way that I am. Then I also like you but I don't love you. That may sound harsh but it is the truth. I don't look at you the same way you look back at me, yet," I said to him and he just kept eating.
"First, you really don't need to love me at this point. Maddox is madly in love while single-handedly raising lotion stocks which is cool but even he knows that's going to come to an end. Calloway is seemingly in love with a nigga who has to file taxes every year but that could go up in smoke at any time. And your parents have been in love for almost two decades which is cool but also statistically not common. You're surrounded by people just falling in love quickly which isn't a reality for most people. I don't love you either by the way. I really like you and sometimes or well the majority of the time I let that cloud my vision of what I should and shouldn't allow you to do to me. I like to think that love is something that builds over time not just something that flips on like a switch. Now secondly you're not special. Almost every gay or bi person worries about how they will be treated. You got it easy actually since your masculine. You think I don't notice the way people whisper about me when I come to school all done up. I wake up each morning and have to gauge the amount of criticism I can deal with before I place the slightest hint of foundation on my skin. Grow some balls and deal with it," he said reaching over to my side of the table taking my spoon out of my hand and taking a bite of my meal before making a pleased face.
"Damn, what besides your parents put you in this mood," I asked taking my spoon back only to end up feeding him which he prompted. I liked him being more assertive outside of when we slept together.
"I've been preparing myself to see my parents by listening to Trina so I'm in a mood," he said. I smiled at his answer then pulled my phone out asking Ma to pick us up. He responded by berating me for leaving school but said that he and dad would pick us up to take us to Beo's to grab his stuff and get the papers signed. Dad pulled up in Ma's car with him on the passenger's side. We both climbed in and Dad pulled off.
"Why am I picking you up at a bakery and not at school where you were left," Dad asked looking at me through the rearview mirror.
"Sorry I just had to make up to him for doing something careless," I said to my Dad.
"Let this be the last time, next time get ready to cut the grass with safety scissors," he responded and I nodded back to him
"You ready for this Beo," Ma asked him.
"At least six months of them not being part of my life is wonderful. Thank you for letting me stay in your home and giving me a room. I don't know what I can do to thank you," he responded.
"It's no big deal you're family, you don't have to thank us," Ma said and rolled his window down letting cool air flow into the window and started whistling some song from a movie he liked to watch as we made it to Beo's home. The house was a cute one level Spanish type home painted in a flamingo pink that complemented the vibrant green grass. There was a dinged up red Camry out front and a garden gnome near the small garden that was well kept. We parked and stepped out of the car. Ma had the papers that needed to be signed by the deadbeats. I looked over to Beo as we walked up to the door. This was my first time coming to the house since he never really wanted us over. He was dead in the eyes as if all of his emotions fell out of him.  Dad knocked on the door and we were made to stand there for five whole minutes before Beo's mom opened the door.
"What the fuck are you doing here," she shouted pointing at her son who blinked slowly at her. It was scary to see him being so unlike himself.
"Maria I just came for my stuff can you just open the garage door so I can get my things and go," he said in a monotone.
"I should have burned all of that sissy shit," she said stepping into the house and slamming the door in our face. Ma was cussing her out under his breath in Hindi while dad was doing the same in Spanish. I heard the sound of a garage door opening and turned to my side.
"Come on," he said walking to the garage. Inside was a twin sized bed sitting on a ratty looking bed without any sheets or a pillow. There was an outdoor mini spotlight near the bed and three tubs sitting to the side.
"This isn't your room is it," Dad asked just as an Asian man who looked like the masculine version of Beo walked out.
"Get this shit out of here so I can pull my car inside," he spat at us.
"Sir can you sign your half of the papers and call your wife to finish hers," Ma said. I could see in his eyes looking like he wanted to go off.
"Give me that shit," he snatched the envelope out of Ma's hand which automatically pissed me and dad off. Ma held his hand up and pulled his phone out doing something. If he hadn't dad would have taken the man's head off and punted it over to the neighbor's yard.
"We're not giving any more money to you faggots, he's your problem now," Beo's mom said.
"There's no need for that kind of language," Ma said in a tone of voice that basically you're digging a hole for yourself. The two people gleefully signed the papers and then Dad and I got to work grabbing the three tubs of personal items. They weren't too big or heavy so it took us less than five minutes to get everything in the car. Beo didn't even say goodbye once everything was settled and started walking away.
"You no longer have a family anymore. Don't call us anymore and don't contact our family. You chose this life to live in it alone. I swear we should have killed you when beating it out of you didn't work," his dad said closing the garage on us. Bo didn't even stop moving and climbed into the back seat. I looked at my parents who had concerned faces then got into the car. I sat next to Beo who was silent all the way to the house. We parked in the garage and Dad cut off the car but didn't exit.
"Beo I hope you know that you always have family in us. Anything you need just ask, you've been part of our lives since Calloway brought you him with him and that's never going to change. We love you like our own and I hope you don't mind but I'm sending the video of what your parents said to my friend Nia she works for social services," Ma said getting out of the car which was his way of saying he wasn't carrying anything but his phone and whatever he brought in with him. I got out letting Beo get out and he walked in as well just as Maddox came out. Dad, Maddox and I all grabbed a tub and made our way into the house taking his stuff all the way to his room.
The rest of the day was spent eating, cooking and getting ready for the rest of the week. I jumped into my bed fully fed, freshly washed, and tired from being up all day. I got under my covers and closed my eyes but found it was hard to remain asleep while thinking about Beo being out of it all day. After ten minutes I kicked my covers off and got out the bed leaving to go to Beo's room. It was smaller than everyone else's but was still pretty spacious. Call and Cartier who came by for free food had helped him out his clothes and other items away. The television was on playing Law and Order. Beo lay in his bed under the covers and I could see tears falling down his eyes. He was looking up at me while I stared at him. I walked over shutting the door behind me and climbed into his bed. He immediately latched onto my body his leg was thrown over mine and he snuggled himself under my arm. He started peppering my cheek with kisses even though he was still crying. He climbed on top of me and kissed me taking control. I was confused as to what was going on. On one hand, he was rotating his hips on top of my growing dick but on the other hand, he was still crying. I decided for once to think about him before myself and I pulled him off on me.
"Stop," I said huskily pulling him to my side.
"What you want my take you take control," he asked trying to move.
"No, I want... I want to just lay here with you," I said turning on my side so we were face to face. He looked at me blinking back tears. I used my hand to play in his hair and could see I was coaxing out his emotions. Soon he was crying into my chest while I rubbed his back trying for once to be the person that he's been wanting me to be without saying it.