The Phenomena of Fireflies and Star... - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

On the Road
3:45 PM
Ames hoped that Max was alright. Max wasn't the best at concealing his emotions, and Ames wondered if the man was even fully aware of that. Ames could also only wonder about the rest of Max's history leading all the way to present-day. Somebody with potential for immortality would have a long list of painful memories that were best kept at the back of the mind.
Max had already had Ames worried there. Fortunately, Max was strong. He'd always been strong.
Then again, since Max now had time to think long and hard about everything he'd been through, Ames would much prefer to see Max having a good time than being haunted by the pains of the past again. The whole point of him going after a new life, after all, was to have a new life. Ames didn't want to ruin the momentum that Max had been building up.
If he did want to share, however, Ames would be sure to be there to listen.
Ames had been driving for a few minutes now. The road wasn't very packed, and the traffic was moving steadily. They were still quite a distance away from the tall buildings of the commercial district, but the residences and small businesses that lined the road did provide their own charm. Max rode shotgun, shuffling through the photographs in his hand. He looked like he was feeling much better now.
"I hope my little story didn't ruin your day," Max said softly out of the blue.
"Of course not," Ames replied, carefully following the curve of the road. "I'm glad you shared. I hope it made you feel better somehow."
"Well, you're very dependable," Max said. "Who you are now. It's, um, forged."
"Forged...," Ames echoed after a while. It came as a pretty strong word to him. "That's a little extra, but..."
"But true," Max insisted.
"Well," Ames thought he'd elaborate on what he had said last night. "I was a Signos Gang member."
"The Signos Gang?"
"Mhmm."
"How old were you then?"
"Minor. Like, really minor. I was still in High School."
"Why'd you do that?" Max demanded in an almost reprimanding tone. Ames found it oddly touching. "You could have gotten raped or killed."
"Um, friends?" Ames recalled, scrunching his nose at Max in embarrassment. "I got away with a lot of shit because of my smart mouth. When I got away from that, I never considered going back."
"You've been around, huh?" Max demanded further. He was starting to sound a little too fatherly. He was definitely being reprimanding.
"Why are you so mad at me?" Ames broke into slight laughter. "That was a long time ago. Besides..."
"Besides, what?" Max pressed on.
"I came out better," Ames looked toward Max as he replied, winking reassuringly. "Harvey was already a cop then. He helped me. So did Chief Inspector Gomez, who took me in for being an asshole. They helped me out. Helped me out of me. I owe them a lot."
Ames couldn't keep looking at Max, especially with another curve on the road that he had to follow safely, but the man's conceding sigh was very audible.
"Don't get yourself in trouble like that again," Max said firmly. "Don't put yourself in danger just because..."
"Oh my god," Ames sighed, glancing at Max for a second. The man was looking at him with a sharp mix of disappointment and concern. It was caring, ultimately. Ames just found it a little too overprotective, a little too late. "You sound like my brother, Tyler."
"I think more people should sound like Tyler to you," Max rebutted. "Considering what I saved you from. You make people worry about you, you know that? I don't even know your brother, but I figure he's the type to worry about you a lot."
"Yeah, yeah," Ames replied in a singsong manner, winking at Max again.
"Yeah, yeah, my ass," Max insisted. "I know you."
"You're gonna' save me anyway."
"That's abusing me, by the way."
"You're really reprimanding me now, huh?" Ames gave him another glance.
"Someone's gotta'," Max replied.
"Is that out of concern or...," Ames teased, unable to stop himself from grinning slyly.
"Of course!" Max yelled, breaking into laughter. "Gosh. And the worst part is that I know you'll do whatever you think is right, anyway. Even I probably won't be able to stop you."
"I'm convinced that you and Tyler are gonna' be good pals."
"Oh, yeah? Why's that?"
"You both couldn't stop me," Ames replied, raising his eyebrows at Max tauntingly. Max, on the other hand, looked unamused. He looked genuinely concerned and disappointed. It was funny. Then again, after everything, Max was definitely right. "But I do care greatly about the both of you. I don't always don't listen, you know?"
"I know...," Max agreed in a meek voice. "I know."
After a few more minutes of driving, they found themselves in a much slower-moving traffic congestion. They were getting further inland. The car's AC was adequately cold and not too sharp. The ride, however, had gotten rather quiet.
Ames decided that he could use some good music, proceeding to press the CD player button on the dashboard. He could use a good Amber Shoreline music. He loved the band's alternative rock style.
The iconic guitar-strumming of Amber Shoreline's Sunset Glow began to play, and Ames immediately knew that he would be having a good time.
Much to his surprise, however, somebody else seemed to be hooked.
He observed as Max nodded to the beat. Humming, too.
"You know this song?" Ames inquired, turning up the volume a bit. "Sunset Glow?"
"Amber Shoreline, Sunset Glow, released in the year 2000," Max replied proudly. "I will never forget. Aidan Morley's favorite work. I don't just know it. I love it."
"That's awesome," Ames scoffed in disbelief. He truly loved Sunset Glow. There was something about it that was nostalgic and personal. The lyrics were so evocative of love and yet so suggestive of perseverance through struggle. They'd always resonated with Ames's views on the subject matter, and so it was very surprising that Max loved the song, too. "It feels like it's been around forever."
When the lyrics came up, both of them inevitably fell into attentive listening.
Ames kept alert for traffic movement, but his ears were enjoying the doting voice bringing the lyrics to life.
For some reason, however, it was as if there was an echo in the song.
It took Ames a few seconds to realize that there were two voices singing.
Two voices, and yet impressively identical in sound and skill. Almost.
It was Max. He was the other voice.
"You can sing?" Ames asked Max excitedly.
Max kept on singing along, nodding to Ames in confirmation. His voice was so smooth and so suave that it was almost arguably better than Aidan Morley's.
Ames would have to rephrase that. He actually thought Max sang the song better, and yet maintained the heart of the song successfully.
"Wow...," Ames swooned, nodding along to Max's impressive singing. "You're really, really good, you know that?"
Max merely gave Ames a knowing wink, continuing with his singing. Ames wasn't about to complain, though. He tuned in more on Max's voice now than he did the singer's.
"Oh, you do know that," Ames commented, moving the car forward a bit. "Okie-dokie."
"Mmmm...," Max smoothly broke off from the song by humming his way out of it. "You think I'm awesome. Yes? Yes?"
"Nope...," Ames teased, moving the car forward a bit again.
"Oh, come on. That's not what my empathy said."
"I made a convincing lie and made you believe that I was impressed."
"I'd detect that to. I think. You did think I sounded awesome."
Ames rolled his eyes, knowing fully well that he couldn't really lie to Max.
Not that he ever liked to lie to anybody at all anyway.
"Guilty, Your Honor," Ames finally said, nodding along to the beat of the song.
They were getting closer and closer to the busiest district of Falco. Ames could see the tall buildings in the distance. They weren't going home yet, though. Ames wanted to show Max a place that meant so much to him.
Falco Bayside Drive
5:45 PM
The traffic surely hadn't helped, but they'd already made it to the place.
Ames sat wordlessly in the driver's seat, car engine off, eyes on a particularly nostalgic spot to his left. He stared at the half-wall barrier, at the spot by the street light. Nobody was sitting there as of the moment, and yet Ames felt like he was watching himself.
With Harvey.
Overall, it was as if he was staring at ghosts when, in fact, he was staring at an empty space.
He considered that, perhaps, that simply was what ghosts would be like.
He felt cold as he stared on. It was an unnatural cold that came with a wave of nostalgia.
Ames didn't want to feel sad. He simply wanted to share with Max just how significant this place was for him. Although, that meant that sadness came in the package.
It was as if Ames was staring into a memory in his mind, and yet there was this grip of disillusionment that came from the knowledge that he would've looked at the view a little differently if time had been kinder. It was a cruel truth that he was learning to accept.
"I don't have to use my empathy...," Max said softly. "To know that this place is heavy on you."
Ames didn't respond for a while. He couldn't let go of the sight of the barrier by the street light for a few seconds.
"Join me," he said to Max, turning to look at him. Max stared back with an understanding look on his face. "Please."
Ames truly appreciated Max's graciousness for joining him.
He let his legs sway, taunting the waters below. He sat on the barrier, exactly where he had sat back in the past. For some reason, Max merely stood behind the barrier, not sitting down. He was, however, standing very close by that he could just as well take a seat. Ames wondered if Max was particular with sitting just anywhere. Ames, however, didn't mind. He was a little preoccupied with the sunset occurring in the distance. The deep blue of the waters below threatened an inevitable darkness when the sun would finally set. The wind was familiar and unapologetic in its breeze.
"Harvey and I used to go here...," Ames recalled, fighting back the sorrow in his nostalgia. He didn't want it to surface. "We'd just watch the sunset, watch the place go dark, and talk until we wanted to go home."
"I had a thought that's why we're here...," Max replied politely.
"Yep," Ames continued, sliding his palm on the barrier's surface beside him. "This is, um, where we were attacked. Not this spot but this area."
It hurt. It hurt a lot. Ames was starting to think more and more that coming to the place was a terrible idea. An uncomfortable tightness was beginning to manifest in his throat. He knew that if he wouldn't be more careful, his next word would distort into a sob. His left hand found its way conveniently to his throat, massaging the spot.
"Ames, if it hurts," Max spoke softly. Ames felt the man's hand on his shoulder. "We don't have to be here. We can just go home."
"You called me strong," Ames reminded him, managing to speak clearly. "I want you to know you're right."
"I know I can't be wrong about that," Max replied after a while.
"It was also on this exact same spot when Harvey...," Ames trailed off a bit, trying to fight back the sadness. He wanted to talk about it, and he was going to. He wasn't going to break down all over again. That was something he'd done a hundred million times already. He looked up behind him, right into Max's eyes to make his words stick. "This is where Harvey told me he was going to marry me someday."
Max shut his eyes hard. Ames knew Max was feeling him.
He didn't want to bother the man. Then again, they could both use thorough listeners.
Ames returned his gaze to the sea that stretched out like a dark blanket before him. The sun was almost gone. The darkness was coming.
Much to his surprise, Max finally sat down beside him, body facing the open sea.
It was pleasant to have him close by. Although, Ames had to admit that it actually felt a bit odd that he was sharing the space with someone else. Ultimately, he had no issue with it. He appreciated the gesture.
There were no words. There was only a pleasant silence. The cool wind brushed against them like a steady fan, and Ames savored it as he watched the sky turn black alongside a very good friend. As painful as the memories attached to this place were, and as odd as it was to share this moment with somebody else, there blossomed a comfort in Ames in the knowledge that, this time, he knew that he would find Max there if he turned to look. He wouldn't be looking at someone's face and straining to stop it from morphing into a cadaver's visage.
If he looked at Max right now, he would see Max. He would continue to see Max. All the way through. Ames really needed that stability.
And so he looked over at Max. Just to be sure.
Max was looking out to the sea. He looked calm, but Ames could tell that the man was hanging out here for him, to keep him company.
To share the load.
Whatever he was feeling, Max was feeling, too.
Ames held that gaze for as long as he could, trying to strip his mind free of the thoughts that Max's face would change, too. Just like Harvey's did. It shouldn't change. Ames had to count on that. He had to trust Max with that.
After a while, Max looked back at him.
Ames pushed on, holding his gaze insistently, inevitably finding it in Max's brown eyes.
"Don't mind me," Ames said softly. "I'm just making sure you're not gonna' morph into something else."
"I know what you're doing," Max replied in kind. "I'm not gonna' change."
It actually felt comforting to just focus on Max's eyes.
They were a good distraction.
They inspired focus so much, they almost commanded it.
"You trust me?" Max asked.
It had been quite a while of just looking into Max's eyes in the hopes of assurance. It had been a very good, very necessary while. Ames was thankful that Max had been so considerate to let him be and to not make it more awkward than it already was.
"Yeah, I do," Ames answered, bumping his shoulder against Max's in gratitude.
With a relieved sigh, Ames looked back out to the dark sea. They could stay here for as long as Max was comfortable. Ames believed he wouldn't mind.
The rest of their time in the bayside was spent in silence, but it was a comfortable and meditative silence that spoke for itself. It didn't need any word. Max's unwavering constancy was more than enough.
Andrade Residence
7:21 PM
After the both of them had finished taking their turns in the shower, they found themselves game with chatting the rest of the night away. Max sat on the wheeled computer chair, facing Ames, who was curled up in a comfy ball as he sat on his bed.
Max had put on a blue shirt and a comfortable pair of gray sweatpants. Ames was more patterned, wearing an oversized sweater with a rather wide neckline and pajamas, both in red. He really looked good in red. If anything, red enhanced Ames's fair skin and Filipino-Japanese-reminiscent features. Ames had mentioned before that he and his brother had Japanese ancestry. It wasn't hard to see in Ames's sharp eyes, which were as black as his hair. It was odd to Max how he hadn't really paid attention to how Ames looked until their time at the bay earlier. He'd always known Ames was quite the good-looking fellow, but he hadn't really viewed the young man's face without a profiling lens. Max hadn't really noticed before that Ames's lips were actually quite pink and that his diamond facial structure also made the right features sharper while simultaneously muting the rest.
Overall, Ames had a regal flair to him that was contrasted by very human qualities.
"I can't help but think we're a little too early in being ready for bed," Ames commented, fingers playing with the fabric of his pajamas. "You sleepy, Max?"
"I'm quite tired," Max said honestly. "And yet, I'm not really sleepy. I dunno'."
"Same here," Ames admitted.
They had decided to part the curtains and actually allow the moonlight to pour in. Ames glanced at the window from time to time.
Max could remember back in HQ how they'd always been encouraged to meditate, especially as a group. It had helped them regain their center and many other things.
"We would meditate at night back in the Division HQ," Max shared. "It was a nightly thing. Meditation helps people like me to ground their powers and to recharge. To accelerate cellular regeneration. Many other stuff."
"That's interesting," Ames commented.
"Mhmm. We did it as a group. Works faster that way. I've always healed much faster than the rest. Although, I can't lie, really strong energy attacks can knock me out of commission."
"Boy, do I wish the same can be true for humans. Healing like nobody's business."
"We're all still pretty human in many ways. We can get hurt. We can get killed. We have fears. We have natural weaknesses. I don't know mine yet, though."
"How does that work specifically? Superhuman natural weakness?"
"Well. Think of it as a phobia. It's a memory or a situation or a feeling that either turns our powers off or just weakens them significantly. Once exposed to it, we might not even notice that we've gotten weaker."
"That's scary," Ames pointed out. "What if you never find out?"
"Then it's going to be a problem somewhere down the road," Max replied. "Some of these weaknesses are very, very serious. They can be terrifying. They can be annoying. As for mine, I don't know what to make of it yet."
"Because you don't know what it is."
"Nobody does."
"You know, regular people like me, know a lot about natural weakness," Ames said, his tone thoughtful. Max sensed that Ames was going to say something important. "Natural weakness is very integral to being human. Humans can have a lot. I certainly have to carry mine every day. I'm guessing you knew what your human weaknesses were back in the day."
Max had to agree.
"Maybe, since you're trying to live a human life now...," Ames continued. "You might not have to worry about what takes away the super from the superhuman. Instead, you might want to reconnect with the things that made you human. I'm talking SWOT."
"Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats," Max elaborated, catching Ames's drift. The guy had a strong point.
"You don't have to worry about being Alpha anymore," Ames pointed out. "You haven't had to for some time now. We have the New Age Initiative, whatever. We have an army of superheroes. You've got a life ahead of you that's waiting for you to return to it."
"Those are some impressive points," Max commented. "You're right. I just hope it doesn't come out in the wrong time."
"We've worked up our peace these past two weeks, Maxy-boy," Ames replied. "Let's keep moving forward in that direction."
Max nodded in agreement, taking a glance at the night sky beyond the window.
"Excuse me," Ames said. Max watched as Ames made his way to a narrow cabinet next to the large armoire that stored his clothes and proceeded to retrieve something from inside it.
"Need any help, Ames?"
"No, cowboy. Don't ruin the surprise."
'Surprise?' Max wondered. 'What's he talking about?'
When Ames turned to face him, the guy was holding a rather well-maintained guitar.
"Wow...," Max expressed. He hadn't played the guitar in a long time, although he did remember the chords of a few good songs. He particularly knew how to play Sunset Glow. "Whose guitar is that?"
"This...," Ames said, holding out the guitar for him to take upon coming close. "This is Harvey's. Was. Now, it's yours."
'Mine?' Max thought, hesitantly receiving the guitar being offered to him. 'I don't think I deserve this.'
"I don't think I deserve this...," Max said, placing the guitar gently on his lap. Ames was looking down at him with a hopeful and insistent expression.
"Don't be silly," Ames replied. "It's yours."
"Don't you wanna' keep it?" Max inquired, cradling the guitar better. "It's Harvey's."
Ames tilted his head in response, as if knowing something that Max wasn't aware of.
"You're a little late in thinking about whether you deserved Harvey's stuff," Ames said, gesturing toward Max's clothes with a finger.
'Wait, what?' Max realized, remembering that the clothes Ames had given him were a little too large to have come from the guy.
"Oh...," was all Max could utter. "Harvey must've been quite the strongman."
"Eh," Ames replied, returning to his spot on the bed. "You're both muscular. You're just narrower. You've got a swimmer's build. He's built more like a gymnast."
"Do people normally do that?" Max asked. "Give away their deceased loved ones' stuff?"
"To cope, yeah," Ames replied. "Not all do. Some cling on. I did."
"The money and this guitar...," Max enumerated further. He could understand the passing of clothes. As for the money, he was slightly more concerned. "What about the money?"
"Yeah, that one...," Ames trailed off a bit, nodding to his thoughts. Max wondered if he was a little too intrusive for asking, but Ames wasn't spiking in his emotional pulsation in any way. "I saved that up. Harvey and I decided we would allot a portion of our salaries each month for future use. We were already living together. Just unmarried. Regardless of matrimony, we were both so sure that we'd be spending the rest of our lives together. No use keeping it now, right?"
Max recognized an undertone of sadness in Ames's energy after he'd spoken. It came camouflaged in Ames's pulsations of emotional perseverance and growing acceptance.
"You gave it to me, and you didn't even know who I really was then," Max pointed out, strumming the guitar ever so carefully.
"I knew enough, I guess," Ames said. Max gave him a look. Ames exuded a decisiveness that was motivated by so much more. Max wouldn't press on it anymore. He already understood, and they'd spent the past two weeks discovering and rediscovering, learning and unlearning, struggling and understanding. Max knew that there was more to come. He decided that if Ames was decisive in doing something for him, he'd go along. It could make things easier for the both of them.
After all, there would be more to come for them.
"Thank you, Ames," Max said, smiling in gratitude. "It's been a while since I played."
"That's why I'm going to make a request," Ames added, leaning forward.
"Oh, we're making requests now? Okay, I knew this was coming."
"Since you're so good at repaying kindness..."
"Someone's abusing my generosity. Must be because he knows I'll do anything for him."
"Come on...," Ames halted, squinting at him. "Wait, what?"
"What?" Max threw the question back instinctively, blinking in the attempt to backtrack at what he'd just said, confused by Ames's confusion. Their banters had always been something Max enjoyed. Then again, that meant saying things recklessly, just for speaking's sake.
"You said something...," Ames pointed out, eyes narrowing in intrigue.
"I didn't say anything..."
"Yes, you did."
"Did not."
"Did."
"What did I say then? If you're so convinced by it," Max challenged, making a face at Ames.
Ames merely rolled his eyes in reply.
"See?" Max said, raising his eyebrows in light-hearted defiance. "I didn't say anything."
"Must be because I'll do anything for him...," Ames said in a mocking, mimicking voice. "Yeah, I heard you."
That caught Max off-guard.
'Did I really say that?' he wondered, unable to speak. He continued to stare at Ames in surprise. 'That's embarrassing.'
And yet, Max had a strong feeling that he hadn't just been sputtering words. He never really did say anything he never meant to any degree.
That's what he believed.
Ames was anticipating a reply. Max, unfortunately, didn't know how to redirect Ames's attention.
"You know what? I think I won't play Sunset Glow anymore," Max decided to say.
"Aww!" Ames complained.
'I think it worked,' Max thought, letting out a discreet breath at the close call.
"Come on," Ames nagged playfully. "Just one time. Please."
'Dammit,' Max thought, sighing in his compliance as he adjusted the guitar. 'You really know how to get what you want.'
"That's a good man," Ames teased, nodding in satisfaction at the sight of Max doing as he said again.
"You're really milking my kindness here," Max fake-complained, rolling his eyes before strumming.
He began to sing.
"The morning comes
Another day with you
Like every day with you
Toward that sunset glow..."
Max loved this song so much. He had left behind a lot of people that he loved when he had decided to become a Raven. Back in the day, he had always thought that time would never be a problem. That he would have all the time in the world to love the people he loved. He had always thought that he would have every morning and afternoon to see the beauty of their world and that he would have every night to look upon the sky and talk to the stars. He now knew he'd been wrong about that. He'd since realized that.
"We could be wrong
But I believed in you
And you know I still do
Our little sunset glow..."
Ames listened on intently. Max thoroughly appreciated that.
Max truly loved this song, and judging by the eager and attentive look on Ames's face, he did, too. Just as strongly.
Max couldn't shake off how incredible it was that he and Ames had crossed paths, and how that had turned out for the both of them so far. Max never would've guessed that the most conflicting decision he'd ever made would lead to something that would turn out to be one of the most unforgettable things he now had. Of course, he had walked away from his duty with self-centered motivations.
But the way things had turned out felt almost...
'Fated,' he described it in his mind. In his heart, too. It was corny, but he couldn't ever say it was a lie. 'Or is it destined?'
'I'm gonna' have to look those words up.'
Ames nodded his head to the music, seemingly caught in his own nostalgia.
Max had never sung this song without feeling, at least, a tiny bit nostalgic. It had since become his anthem for reminiscence. His most loyal companion in every retrospection, through the good memories and the bad. He wondered how similarly Ames resonated with the song. He wondered if Ames's nostalgia mirrored, or could mirror, his, as well. After all, they'd been so incredibly similar, even in their most obvious differences.
"You got me in
Down the spiral, we go
Falling in
And never letting go
Hold you close
Under the sunset glow
Our little sunset glow..."
Max knew that he wasn't going to complain one bit, no matter how similar or how different he would be to Ames. For some reason, they'd always meshed so well. Max could never replace that. He could never forsake that. He had made what one could argue to be the most selfish decision he'd ever made in his life, and yet, fate—or destiny—had been so kind to have led him immediately to someone he now treasured as his most special friend. He was lucky. Very lucky.