The Phenomena of Fireflies and Star... - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

January 1942
Town of Arkanghel
Gabriel made his way down the rocky path, kicking off pebbles as his slippers brushed against them. He'd already made it to just about halfway down and far past the mouth of The Principado Settlement. He was basically alone in the path, with the trees on both sides keeping him company.
The breeze was steady, and the sound of leaves braving its current was soft. Down the route, he could see the end of the rocky path. There was nobody there at all. He looked behind him to find the space just as empty. He adjusted his banig backpack and hummed to himself to fight off the boredom.
'I really am alone,' Gabriel thought. He was already twenty years old and as dependable as he was independent. He had no problem with doing things on his own. It was just slightly creepy, especially considering what was going on in the country.
Battle had already begun in the more populated parts of Luzon. Out there, people were fighting and braving the strong chance of not being able to come home. Death, destruction, and demoralization plagued the lands. What Gabriel was glad about was how they had managed to conceal their small town all these months. They lived in an elevated place, and so it was only a matter of time before they got found out. However, they had learned to camouflage with their surroundings and grow their own supplies. They had also begun making escape routes that they would take in the event of a takeover.
As for himself, his acceptance of the offer to join the Uwak program meant that his family would be evacuated by the Armed Forces when his training would begin. He knew that a lot of bachelors and bachelorettes his age, from both Principado and Kerubin, had also decided to join.
Still, some had been effectively stopped by their families.
Gabriel wasn't sure what he would have to deal with the moment he would start. He knew that they would be training as soldiers, but a little differently. Although, he had no idea how different "a little differently" exactly was. He'd been trying not to put too much thought into it. After all, he hadn't made the decision for himself. Whatever was coming for him, he'd accept and make do with for the sake of his family.
As Gabriel walked on, he began to feel slightly uneasy. It was subtle at first. It started as an almost ignorable sensation, but as he took one step after another, the unease only grew worse. He was starting to feel very uncomfortable, pricked all over his body by a creeping sensation that continued to weigh on him.
He looked behind him again.
Nobody was there.
'When I look ahead,' a thought crossed his mind. 'Someone is going to be there.'
He dreaded that idea, but he clenched his fist, just in case. It was already afternoon, and he was alone in a woodsy area.
And out there in the ciudad, chaos had already been tearing lives down and apart.
He had a valid reason to be on edge. Anything could happen.
With instinct ready to respond to whatever was waiting, he looked ahead again. He basically snapped into position.
Nobody was there.
"Huh," he muttered, not knowing exactly the reason why he wasn't feeling so well. It was as if eyes were on him, hooking into him with near-palpable glares.
'Eyes,' he thought, looking toward the trees to his right. 'Where else would you stare at someone from other than a hidden spot?'
The trees were plenty, and they occupied the space so abundantly that sunlight broke off in god rays.
He still couldn't find anybody or anything out of the ordinary. There weren't even any shadows that shouldn't be there. There were just trees. He couldn't deny, however, that the creepy feeling of unease was stubborn and refused to leave him.
If anything, it seemed to be getting stronger.
A surprising crunch of rocks to his left made him turn to face whatever was the source.
"Hah!" the tall figure shouted out, leaping toward him with arms outstretched.
"Ackh!" Gabriel cried out in alarm, swinging his fist upward to defend himself.
January 1942
The Same Day
A Few Minutes Later
Gabriel would be lying if he said he didn't think Dicoy deserved the cut on his cheek.
"I bet you loved smacking me," Dicoy commented, pressing a wet cloth against his cut.
They had found a spot in the woods where they could sit down and talk for a while. Nobody from the rocky path could see them. At least, not that easily.
"You snuck up on me and tried to jump me," Gabriel reasoned out. "And I'm a young man walking alone in possibly the last safe place in the country. Of course, I will defend myself."
Dicoy merely grinned at Gabriel's annoyance. It had never failed to be a handsome grin. It took a while for Gabriel to realize that he'd been staring at Dicoy's face the entire time.
"You miss me, don't you?" Dicoy teased, winking mischievously. Gabriel found himself inevitably attracted to the guy's blatant confidence, which bordered on arrogance. Dicoy knew that very well. They'd been together for two years now, largely in secret. Gabriel had been very careful in keeping their relationship in the shadows. His father, however, had known long ago about them. His mother, too. They had always known, in fact, how Gabriel identified himself, and they had been very accepting.
"Hey...," Dicoy said, clicking his fingers close to Gabriel's nose. "Mahal."
"Huh?" Gabriel blinked back into the present, his nostalgia dissipating and revealing Dicoy's concerned gaze upon him. "Nothing. I just miss you."
Dicoy's pleased smile really elevated his mestizo good looks. His short mop of wavy black hair glistened with sweat, much like his olive skin. Sweat beads traveled down his chiseled face, down his blushing cheeks. His mischievous almond-shaped eyes were of dark chocolate color. His nose was a good mix of tall and slightly round. His lips were full and rosy, and they had a sheen of sweat on them, too. Even in a disheveled state, he boasted of rugged beauty.
"Sit by me," Dicoy said, reaching out with his free hand.
It had been two weeks since they'd last seen each other. Dicoy had gone out to help in the mines. All that physicality had definitely rubbed off on him. He looked even more toned and defined now.
"You're very romantic," Gabriel replied, taking Dicoy's hand in his and grasping it tight. "You know this could easily be an arm wrestling match."
"But it won't be...," Dicoy said. There was an inviting undertone in his words. It was warm. Buttery. Gabriel connected with Dicoy's gaze, and he noticed the film of longing that clouded his lover's eyes. It was a translucence of longing accompanied by something needier.
Knowing precisely what was to follow, Gabriel allowed Dicoy to pull him close.
January 1942
The Same Day
About Twenty Minutes Later
The surface of the tree was rough against his bare back, even more so because of how Dicoy's weight kept him down. Still, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else in the world.
In hindsight, he definitely could imagine being somewhere better to share the moment with Dicoy in. Then again, it wasn't always that he could reconnect with his man like this.
Dicoy practically lay on top of him, the man's muscularly decorated back resting against his stomach. Gabriel locked Dicoy against himself with his arms. Every now and then, he would plant a kiss or two on his lover's head. It was certainly not the most ideal environment for acts of passion, but it didn't stop them in the slightest.
"I hate that we have to escape to be ourselves," Dicoy complained, his voice soft and slightly compressed by his position. "I don't think we've ever had to be this outdoors."
Gabriel leaned his head forward a bit, pressing his lips against the top of Dicoy's head to plant a long kiss. The curls of his man's hair felt soft, and despite the earthy scent of dust, there was also a pleasant hint of shampoo. The same fragrance emanated from Dicoy's mildly sweaty skin, which brushed ever so slightly against Gabriel's. It was a constant sensation that he wished didn't have to end.
"Your parents know about us...," Dicoy went on. "They treat me like they treat you."
"Yours don't...," Gabriel reminded him. "I don't know how they'd react if they ever found out about us."
Dicoy was silent for a short while, most probably deep in thought.
"I learned from Mama that people saw people like us differently back in the day," Dicoy went on. "I'm talking about hundreds of years ago. Before colonization."
Gabriel knew about that, too. He'd learned about that back in high school. It had surely opened a very interesting conversation among the children, who, even to this day, didn't always know better. Gabriel could remember just sitting at the back of the class, keeping his opinions to himself.
"I know about that," Gabriel replied. "I don't know how we're going to be treated in the future."
For some reason, the word "future" felt like a slap to Gabriel's face. They were at war. Battle was ongoing beyond the safety of the mountain. There was this persistent uncertainty of whether they even had a future. That thought hit him rather differently, and he held Dicoy just a little bit tighter against himself.
"I wonder if we even have one," Dicoy said out loud what Gabriel was thinking. It was quite the coincidence, but it was not unexpected. It would have to be what everybody was thinking. "How long do we keep convincing ourselves that they won't find us out eventually? We are a defenseless pair of settlements in one town, hiding out in the woods, high up on a mountain."
"Our troopers still have this area under their protection," Gabriel pointed out.
"It won't be for long," Dicoy argued. "How sure are we that the Uwak can protect us?"
Gabriel wasn't sure how to answer that.
All Gabriel knew was that Dicoy didn't have to be one, and that his parents would rather kill him first than allow him to participate in the war. They were overprotective of Dicoy just like that, and many times, it was overprotectiveness to a fault.
Gabriel hadn't told Dicoy about his decision to join yet. He couldn't, and he didn't know if he ever could. Not to mention, he didn't know how to.
For now, he intended to keep it a secret.
"I don't know...," was all he could say. It was the safest answer.
"I heard they've already started preparing for evacuation," Dicoy shared. "That must mean they've got the number they need."
'Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated indirectly?' Gabriel wondered, thankful that Dicoy wasn't facing him in their position. Gabriel was never the type to hold a straight face. He'd always been a terrible liar, and so he had to learn how to divert pressing questions differently. 'Baited, to be more exact?'
He had to think of something to redirect the flow of the conversation.
"I pray to God that you didn't join," Gabriel blurted out, knowing well that his words could come back to him. "Or I'll kill you myself. It will hurt less."
Dicoy let out an unexpected snort.
"The hurt you give me has always felt good," Dicoy remarked. "I might actually prefer that."
"You always have," Gabriel added, planting another kiss. He surely hoped that Dicoy wouldn't press on the Uwak matter anymore. That most probably wasn't the case.
"I hope you didn't join, too," Dicoy said anyway. "I don't want you getting in trouble, Mahal."
Gabriel felt a short irregularity in his heartbeat, and he sincerely hoped that Dicoy hadn't felt it, considering their intimate disposition.
"I didn't," Gabriel replied, sneaking a breath of relief for the clarity of his speech. "You know that my parents wouldn't want me to get involved."
"I know. Just don't try to hurt me like that."
"I won't."
They spent the next few minutes just resting, locked in a shared warmth, watching the cracks of sunlight that managed to break through the ceiling of leafed branches. Eventually, they'd have to get back on the road.
It was as if time was against them. It had always felt that way, but the past few weeks had been crueler and greedier to them.
Moments like this made Gabriel wish that he had the power to defy time and command it. Maybe even change their reality. Also, if he had the ability to fly, he'd fly everybody he cared about and himself away from this place, at least for a while.
But he couldn't.
All he could do was make do.
January 1942
The Same Day
The Kerubin Settlement
Town of Arkanghel
A Few More Minutes Later
Gabriel was glad that he had made sure to store his clothes properly in his bag before getting intimate with Dicoy. He didn't have to explain much. Except for the lingering soft smell of earth, there wasn't anything particularly off about him.
The Kerubin Settlement seemed to be bustling with activity. Its houses, which looked intentionally monotonous on the outside, stood at various distances with no clear order. While some people were busy cleaning their immediate areas, some were busy in the small marketplace. The sound of chickens clucking came from the gathering of people in front of Aling Pedra's store.
"Lolong managed to go to town and get fertilizers," Dicoy shared. "Rameses is still alive. Thank goodness."
"That's good," Gabriel commented. "We already lost two brokers."
"I know. Soon enough, we're going to have it a lot harder here."
"We're going to need to get creative eventually. I hope we won't resort to stealing."
"Let's hope not."
Gabriel followed Dicoy to his father's new vegetable stall. It was a new business venture for their family. Dicoy's mother now handled the meat products.
"Pa, Ma," Dicoy called out to his parents, who were both busy dealing with customers from their respective stalls, which stood before their house. "Gabriel's here."
Gabriel waved at them, and they gladly waved back.
Both stalls faced long lines.
Gabriel had always had a good relationship with Dicoy's parents, and he was glad that their businesses were doing well. They'd always been kind and easygoing to him and his family, too, even though they could be quite uptight with their own son. Gabriel knew that their overprotectiveness toward Dicoy came from a place of love.
"Iho," Mang Romulo said. "Have you eaten yet?"
"We made sinigang," Aling Esme added. "Have as much as you want, Iho."
"Thank you," Gabriel replied, giving each of them a mano. "Thank you so much. I just came to buy vegetables."
"The usual?"
"Yes, Mang Romulo. The usual."
"Alright, boy."
"Gab...," Gabriel heard Dicoy calling. He looked over to where the call had come from, finding Dicoy peeking out from his house's doorway. "Come in."
Gabriel excused himself and followed Dicoy into the house. Although Dicoy's house looked pretty much the same as the others, his family had always kept it neat and organized. It was impressive, especially considering how busy the household was. Gabriel spotted Dicoy's old medals from his high school days. He'd always been smart.
He also had a habit of charming people into giving him what he wanted. The high potential of his academic intellect that he couldn't hone, he had transferred to street smarts.
"If you want sinigang, I can get you a bowl," Dicoy offered, standing by a covered pot in the kitchen area.
"It's alright," Gabriel refused politely. "I'm not hungry."
Noticing Mang Romulo entering, Gabriel stepped aside to let him pass.
"Anak," the tired-looking man called out.
"Yes, Pa?" Dicoy replied, straightening his posture.
"I found your drawing just outside our window this morning," Mang Romulo said, pulling out a familiar-looking sheet of paper and unfolding it before Dicoy's eyes. "It looks good. I didn't know you drew, um, patterns. Or birds. Or at all."
'Birds?' Gabriel felt a strong bump in his chest upon his recognition of what Mang Romulo was referring to. 'Patterns? Birds?'
Gabriel could only see the back of the sheet and blots of the ink used, but the pattern was discernible enough for him. He had the same sheet at home.
He had it as a confirmation of his acceptance into the Uwak program.
He could feel himself heating up in a confusing mix of disappointment, disbelief, and anger. When his eyes fell upon Dicoy, the guy was already staring back at him.
"Um...," Dicoy hesitated, sounding a little choked up. "Yes, I do. I do. I draw."
Gabriel couldn't help but glare at Dicoy, whose expression of guilt at being found out slowly transitioned into an expression of suspicion and then into that of disappointment.
'Great,' Gabriel thought, shaking his head discreetly. 'We've just found each other out.'
"Alright," Mang Romulo said, walking toward the table and putting down the sheet.
Gabriel's eyes never left Dicoy. He didn't think he had ever glared at his man this furiously before, but he surely did now.
Dicoy, however, was doing the exact same thing.
Gabriel knew that they would need to have a very serious talk about this, and with that said, he knew that an oncoming fight wasn't improbable. That fight, he knew, neither of them could really win.
January 1942
Bato ng Astronomo
Clearing in the Arkanghel Woods
Nighttime
Thanks to the company of his lantern and a bolo tied to his waist, Gabriel made it through the woods and out to the clearing. The warm glow of the lantern's fire contrasted with the indigo environment, which was illuminated primarily by the moon.
The well-known Astronomer's Rock stood out from the rest of the clearing. It was quite a large rock, about a house tall and intricately sloped on many angles and sections, allowing for fun climbs and a unique stargazing experience.
Some folks believed it to have been part of a meteor. Some thought otherwise. Either way, it was convenient for people who liked a good nighttime view of the sky.
A figure he knew too well sat at the rock's highest edge, legs swinging as they hung, head aimed upward to the sky.
'I hope this goes well,' Gabriel thought to himself as he continued toward the rock. 'Because I'm really not pleased.'
'Then again, he's not pleased with me, either.'
"So...," Dicoy spoke, his tone disappointed. "You're an Uwak now."
"Don't act so disappointed," Gabriel replied, matching Dicoy's tone. "We both did what we didn't want each other to. This is going to knock the both of us down."
He sat beside Dicoy on the edge of the Astronomer's Rock, his feet suspended and swaying a bit. He kept his eyes up to the sky, and they scanned the indigo expanse as he spoke, taking in the magnificent view of a brilliant moon and an ocean of stars.
It would've been a beautiful night for a stargazing date.
He could've been talking with his man right now about the stars he wished he could go to, but tonight didn't feel like the night.
"They can have any woman or man to serve in their battle," Dicoy continued. This time, his voice had a tone of worry and sadness mixed together. "Just not you. I don't want you getting hurt."
Gabriel knew that Dicoy would say that. He knew his lover very well. He knew deep within himself that he would say the same thing, as well.
He believed that they had done what they had done for just about all of the same reasons.
"You know me too well," Gabriel took his turn. "I did it for the same reason."
There was just about a good minute of silence after that. Gabriel didn't exactly know what else he could say to drive his point forward. His eyes lingered on the night sky, and his mind instinctively began counting the stars. He had never really succeeded in that. He recognized a few constellations as he gazed upon the glittering blanket.
"See anything you like?" Dicoy asked after a while.
"Everything better isn't here," Gabriel replied firmly. His eyes lowered to Dicoy's face, and he found his lover already looking back at him with the same look of deep thought. "Why would anybody want to be here? Would you?"
"I want to be with you," Dicoy said. "I want a you to be with, and I can't have that if you're in constant danger."
Gabriel couldn't conceal his disbelief at what he'd just heard. It was pure irony.
"How is having you in constant danger instead going to make things different?" he demanded, triggering an interesting reaction on Dicoy's face.
"I know myself," Dicoy replied after a while, blinking in his evident doubt of his own words. "I know I'll be coming home."
"I know myself, too," Gabriel remarked, offended by the lack of faith in Dicoy's words. "Thanks for believing in me, by the way."
"It's not that..."
"You don't think I can make it back?"
"I just don't want you in any danger!"
"Neither do I!"
Their voices tore through the stillness of the night, threatening to scandalously give away their secrets to curious ears. Their mutual glares felt as though they'd been tethered too strongly. They couldn't break off, and Gabriel wasn't sure if he wanted to break away, either. Dicoy looked like he was about to cry any second, and Gabriel didn't have to look at his own face to know it looked the same.
"I love you, Gabriel," Dicoy said firmly, a single tear rolling down his eyes. "It hurts me that there might come a day when you won't hear that anymore."
"I love you, too, Dicoy," Gabriel replied, planting his hand on the cold surface of the rock and sliding it closer to Dicoy, offering it for his man to take. Dicoy did. "War or no war, I've had to deal with the danger of losing you for years."
"The enemy is literally down the mountain, Gab. We're sleeping in our homes with a demon living next door, threatening to destroy them."
Gabriel felt this weight on his chest, and he began to feel it everywhere on his body. He felt it in the constriction of his throat and in the moisture in his eyes. He loved Dicoy with every bit of his being, and that was something he knew without question. Recently, time had been forcing questions into his mind and his heart. It wasn't getting any kinder.
"It feels like the world's never going to want us to be together...," Gabriel said, feeling the weight of his situation continue to grow. "One big problem after another. I'm willing to bet that even if we live through this, there's going to be something else."
The night wind was getting colder. Gabriel could feel his hairs stand on end.
A growing sense of foreboding began to wrap around him, as if in an act of personal violation. It was the same feeling that he'd been trying to keep at bay. It was much more present now. Palpable, to be exact. It felt like a harassment, how it was now engulfing him.
When his tears came, he knew he couldn't stop them anymore. It was like standing against the river rapids.
"We're already here," Gabriel spoke, wiping the wetness off of his face with the back of his hand. "What can we do?"
Dicoy's face was already just as drenched. Gabriel knew they were on the same page, standing against the same current. He wasn't even sure if they were fully to blame or if the choices they'd made were just as much consequences as they were conscious decisions.
"Let's do this together," Dicoy said. Gabriel felt Dicoy's grasp tighten. It was getting warmer.
"Feels like volunteering for a sentence, huh?" Gabriel managed to joke. It was dry and almost desperate. It was a little too frank to be funny. Dicoy was right, though. They were already in. They had volunteered for each other, for their families, and for everything they cared about. The only way out was through. "Together, it is..."
When Dicoy pulled him closer into an embrace, Gabriel made sure it was tight.
"I love you so much," Gabriel whispered, feeling more of his tears streaming down his cheeks and onto Dicoy's back.
"I love you very much," Dicoy replied.
Gabriel didn't want to let go. He didn't mind being engulfed in the embrace. It felt as though it washed away the harassment of his foreboding.
"I don't think we've ever had a crying date on our favorite spot before, Mahal," Dicoy said, pulling apart slowly and looking up at the sky. "Didn't expect this at all."
"Makes you wish we should've," Gabriel pointed out, following his lover's upward gaze. "We could've been more prepared."
"We could've."
After a moment of contemplative silence, Dicoy lifted his hand up to the sky, pointing at the stars.
"They're the evidence that we're never going to be truly apart no matter how far apart we're pried," Dicoy said, swirling his finger in the air emphatically. "That sky. Those stars. They're so far away."
"I don't get it," Gabriel commented, still gazing up. The ironic beauty of the glitters in the darkness was a good distraction.
"They're so far away," Dicoy continued, clearing his throat and lowering his hand. "We'd be looking at the same stars. Most of the time. Even if we're separated."
"Most of the time. Don't make it sound less romantic."
"Alright. No matter where we end up. Sound better?"
"Tiny bit better."
"You can trust that I'll be seeing the same stars when you do," Dicoy elaborated. Gabriel felt his man touching his face and guiding it gently so they were looking eye to eye. "You trust me, right?"
"I never stopped trusting," Gabriel said, putting his own free hand on Dicoy's face. "The man I love the most in the universe."
The warm smile that curved on Dicoy's face felt like home. Gabriel met it with his own and sealed their smiles with a kiss. It would have to be the deepest he'd ever given, and it was reciprocated just as strongly.
'This is what a date looks like,' Gabriel thought, slowly parting from Dicoy's kiss and staring into his eyes.
Into his cold, filmy eyes.
It was like all of the sounds and all of the air around them were removed from existence.
All Gabriel could feel was a coldness that slithered its way through every part of his body in an instant.
'Dicoy...,' he thought as he slowly backed away. Dicoy's eyes looked blank. Directionless. Soulless. It was like looking into a corpse's eyes.
The coldness that was binding Gabriel to his spot was quickly overshadowed by an overwhelming terror.
His gaze dropped down a bit, and he saw a bloody stump where Dicoy's left arm should be.
He wanted to scream, but the asphyxiation of his terror was too strong.
A short stream of blood suddenly squirted out of the stump, splattering onto Gabriel's torso.
It was enough.
Gathering all of his might, Gabriel finally managed to scream.
October 7, 2023
Max felt a strong slap across his cheek, and in the very next instant, he sat up sharply into full awakening.
"Ah, shit!" he heard Ames's familiar voice cry out, followed by a thud.
It felt as though he'd been submerged for so long, and he was finally out of the water.
Max noticed that he had accidentally pushed Ames down onto the living room floor and quickly reached out his hand to offer help.
"You had quite the nightmare there," Ames grunted as he took Max's hand and used it to stand up. "You really knocked me on my ass."
"I'm sorry," Max croaked, realizing that his face was wet. It was either sweat or tears. It didn't matter. He was back. He was back in the present, safe on his butt on Ames's sofa. "You hurt?"
"Am I hurt?" Ames echoed, reaching out and proceeding to wipe Max's face with a towel. "Worry about yourself. You're so sweaty. What the hell..."
Max didn't know why he'd dreamed of Dicoy again, especially after all this time and after everything. It had been quite an accurate dream. It had felt as though he hadn't just been caught in a dream. It had felt like he had relived his memories.
Up until that disgusting sight of Dicoy's lifeless state, anyway.
"I'm sorry, Ames," Max apologized again, allowing Ames to continue wiping his face with a towel.
"Must be more uncomfortable to sleep here than you think," Ames commented, putting the towel down and cupping Max's face with both hands, directing his gaze until they were looking at each other's eyes. "We're swapping tonight. You take the bed. I take the sofa."
Still shaken by what he'd just experienced, Max pulled Ames close into a hug.
"Okay, okay...," Ames uttered after a while, rubbing the back of Max's head reassuringly. "You're good. You're safe here."
Max pulled away carefully, looking back up at Ames, who looked very much bothered by what had just happened.
"Get your ass up in the bedroom."
"No. That's your spot."
"Don't resist. Get up there. We're swapping."
Max let out a relieved sigh. That nightmare had felt like a vortex sucking him in. His heart had just started slowing down.
"Okay, boss...," he said through his breath, grabbing Ames's wrist to ground himself even more. "Alright. Thank you."
If he were to be honest, he didn't think he'd want to sleep again after all of that. He didn't think he could, even if he wanted to.