The Phenomena of Fireflies and Star... - Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Gabriel watched as Ames worked in the kitchen with what pulsated as a conflicted conscience. He wasn't sure if what he had said was the right move. It must've been quite the shock for the guy.
"Ames, please," he called out considerately.
"Gabriel, um," Ames replied in a similar tone after a while. "I'm not sure I'm the person you need."
The young teacher's voice sounded cautiously controlled. It was getting awkward.
Gabriel had to say, Ames's ability to project his emotions outward very strongly was impressive for a human to do. It was neither impossible nor improbable. It simply was, in itself, remarkable.
"I know," Gabriel said. "I won't be asking much. I..."
Ames finally turned to face him. The young man's face displayed "stressed but trying" almost explicitly. Gabriel couldn't read Ames's mind, but the young man's emotions were coming in pulsations so strong, they might as well be called waves. The empathic read was almost constricting.
"I just... Gosh," Ames blurted out, planting his hand on his forehead as he leaned against the counter. "I'm sorry. I'm overwhelmed. I really, really am."
"I'm sorry," Gabriel stood from his seat, lifting his hands up in apology as Ames's energy became more pronounced. He approached the young man, whose unease had just become outright disbelief. It sank into Gabriel that it wasn't the best move at all, and he stopped, for Ames began to protectively hold his hands out. "This must've been quite the interference."
"Oh, you have no idea, Gabriel," Ames replied, a crack in his voice as he spoke. His eyes seemed to beg that he be anywhere else but where he was. "Alpha."
"It's just Gabriel now," Gabriel said, somewhat bothered by how automatically he had just corrected the burdened homeowner.
'I'm really doing this now, huh?' he asked himself.
"Okay," Ames said, clasping his hands together and resting his mouth onto them in thought. "Gabriel. I am not going to judge why you're planning to do what you want to do."
Ames was talking to him like a teacher now. Gabriel may not have gone to college, but he had done well in the educational levels prior. Very well. He could still remember how his teachers used to speak with him. Doting but strict when necessary.
"If I had to do what you had to do for more than eighty years, I'd probably want out, too," Ames continued. "But I don't think I can help you with anything that might mean anything. You are a good person, and you've been a great superhero. That much is evident. You are, uh, thanked. For all you've done."
"Okay...," Gabriel gestured with his hands to placate the strange pulsations of energy. "I just need to know where to start. Or if you know anyone that can help me, that can be great..."
Ames was nodding as Gabriel spoke. The unease was still there, but at least it was starting to make way for clarity of mind.
"I, uh," Ames stuttered, blinking insecurely before letting out a sigh.
Gabriel lowered his hands, wanting Ames to say whatever he felt he needed to express, just to make things clearer.
"I don't have anyone, Gabriel," Ames finished. "Here. I don't have anybody here. Consequently, that means I have no one I can refer you to. That's here. 'Cause, Gabriel, I have nobody here. I have nobody here that I can trust with anything this crazy. That can help you."
There was a slight pinch of self-questioning there that Gabriel detected from Ames, but ultimately, the answer was clear. Gabriel didn't have a choice. This was Ames's home. This was Ames's life that he was interfering. For something he couldn't help but feel was selfish, no less.
Gabriel leaned against the side of the table, hands supporting his weight.
"This went south fast," he commented, sucking on his lower lip as his guilt became even more burdensome. "I'm sorry. I'm being selfish."
"No, no, no," Ames replied, waving his hands emphatically. "I mean. Kind of? But I believe you've earned it. I mean, what the hell, right? People gotta' take a leave, right? Or, um, retire? It's just..."
"It's just what?" Gabriel inquired, biting his lower lip.
"People like to hold on to what is easy," Ames clarified. "When the superhumans got exposed years ago, and people found out that there had been real superheroes operating clandestinely, they became dependent on the hope that beings like yourself offered them."
'Beings like myself...,' the thought lingered in Gabriel's mind. 'I was just a person once. Now, I'm just a successful experiment. A weapon. That needs to change. Right?'
"It's pretty clear that you're going to fake your death, Gabriel," Ames went on. "Relatable. Don't think I can't relate. It's just that if people find you out, it won't mean well for you, too. You wanna' disappear? Go radio silent? Turn that MIA into "presumed dead"? You're gonna' have to leave the country."
'He's right,' Gabriel realized. 'I can't go anywhere here without being found out eventually. Sure, I may have always operated with a mask on, and sometimes with a helmet, but people can look at the rest of me and decipher the mystery about me that I'm gonna' have to hide behind.'
"You're an Enforcer," Ames hammered the last nail into the coffin. "You were to you. To the rest of the Philippines, you still are. You're just missing. Your scope of operations is nationwide. Division had you then. The government, too? Heck, count the country in. It'll like to think it still does. It will come for you."
Gabriel knew that Ames was right. He knew it in his heart. However, he had nothing to start a new life with. He wondered if he could borrow some money. That could be a good place to start. Ames could help him with that.
"Can you at least point me to a place where I could work and earn?" Gabriel asked instead. "Can you allow me to borrow some money from you? I'm going really low here, I know."
Ames shut his eyes, his nose scrunching in the stress. Gabriel was too linked with Ames's emotional waves at this point that the whole conversation was becoming nauseating. Then again, he figured it must be what Ames was feeling.
"God, I'm a good person," Ames muttered. "Why am I in this situation?"
Gabriel could only nod sadly. The answer was clear. He'd been asking too much from a guy who had only wanted to go home to a good night's rest. He wondered if Ames had even slept. Probably not.
"Okay, I'm sorry again, Ames," Gabriel spoke guiltily. "I'm going to figure this out on my own."
"No," Ames snapped, looking right into his eyes with a spark of resolve and a bit of regret. "No. I can help you with that. At the very least."
"Don't pressure yourself," Gabriel said reassuringly. He had to stop disturbing another person's peace. "I'm taking back everything I said."
"Don't," Ames said more firmly despite his slightly tense blinking. It sounded like a command, but it wasn't demeaning in any way. "Stay there. I have something that can help you start off."
With that and a heavy sigh of surrender, Ames walked off.
Gabriel followed Ames with his gaze as the young man walked up the stairs and disappeared into the bedroom.
The emotional pulsations followed Ames, but they echoed all around the house so strongly that Gabriel could almost hear them.
He then looked toward the countertop that Ames had been standing against. The man had left behind his washed coffee cup. Some neatly folded but used tissues were set down by the sink for the meantime. Gabriel decided to leave the cup as it was but picked up the tissues to throw them into the nearby trashcan. As he looked over the trashcan, he found an empty bottle of antidepressants. He recognized the brand. Director Lazaro had one in his office.
'Must be why he was uneasy with me,' Gabriel thought, throwing the tissues into the trashcan. 'He was already fighting an inner battle that I just had to barge into.'
His guilt continued to grip him.
'I'm being selfish here,' he thought as he returned to his spot on the table. 'Then again, a person has got to stop fighting eventually, right? Division can't milk me forever.'
'I guess I can justify what I'm planning to do, but I just need to do better with how I'm doing it.'
The bedroom door opened again after a while, making Gabriel look up at it. Ames now had a black backpack in his hand, his facial expression indiscernible as he descended the stairs.
"Let me help," Gabriel offered, walking toward the base of the stairs.
"It's just a bag, Gabriel," Ames replied. "I can lift a man my size, too. No worries."
'Interesting remark, but okay,' Gabriel thought as Ames stopped before him.
"Living room, now," Ames said with a polite firmness.
'Yes, sir.'
They sat adjacent to each other, Gabriel on the comfy armchair and Ames on the sofa. A center table stood in the middle of the living room. On top of it was a ceramic flower vase and some scented crystals.
Gabriel fished through the stuff in the backpack. There were shirts, shorts, underwear, and some pants. A big towel and a small towel, too.
'This is so generous of him,' he thought.
"Those are, um, mine," Ames said quietly. Gabriel felt something intriguing there as the young man spoke, but he didn't dwell on it. He was just so thankful. "My old clothes that I wanted to give away."
"Ames, this is more than enough," Gabriel commented thankfully, pulling out one of the black shirts. It felt soft and comfortable to the touch. It was sized large. He kept his observation to himself but proceeded to check the sizes of the other shirts. They were the same.
'Odd,' Gabriel thought to himself. 'Ames looks like a medium-size wearer. At most. Probably, even a small-size wearer. He's slender and lean.'
"I'd lost a whole lot of weight years back and hadn't gotten the width back for those to hang well on me again," Ames continued, clearing his throat as he did.
Gabriel carefully folded the shirt and put it back into the bag.
"Here," Ames said, handing out an envelope. Gabriel stared at it. He hesitated for a while, but Ames gestured at him to take it. "It's all I can give you without derailing my finances for the following months. I'm sorry. I hope it'll be enough. Your life in Division must've been lavish."
"You don't have to," Gabriel said firmly.
"I know I don't," Ames replied, hand still out. His voice was even firmer, and his eyes were locked onto Gabriel's. They seemed sad, but there was a compelling resolve in them. "But nobody tells me what to do in my home."
Ames gave a clever but friendly wink.
Gabriel smiled gratefully at him.
"Thank you," Gabriel said sincerely, taking the envelope and checking the amount inside. He looked right back up at Ames, who nodded insistently. "Twenty thousand pesos. This is a lot, Ames."
"I'd been saving up for, eh, something," Ames replied, clasping his hands. "It couldn't happen anymore, so I put a chunk of my savings on my PhD. There's still some money left. I had to redo my budget just now, but it's, uh, gonna' be okay."
"I'm going to repay you someday, Ames," Gabriel declared. "I promise. Word of honor."
"Don't take this the wrong way, Gabriel," Ames said, scoffing a bit. "I'm not counting on it. You're gonna' have to leave the country eventually and break off from this place."
"This is a lot of money," Gabriel pointed out. "You didn't have to do this."
"You know what?" Ames replied. "I can be crazy like that. Just... Whatever you plan to do from here, to break away and to start over, you best make damn sure you're gonna' do all the way. Or I'm gonna' want my money back. Make it count."
"Yes, sir," Gabriel said, a sincere smile curving up his face.
Ames managed to smile back, but his eyes remained a mix of sad and resolute.
"May I ask why you chose to help me?" Gabriel inquired kindly as he stuffed the envelope into the bag.
"Well," Ames blinked at the question before his gaze steadied. "For what felt like a lifetime, there was no other feeling I could relate to more than wanting to rewrite how my life turned out. Just like you."
Gabriel scanned Ames's eyes. If only he could read minds, he would've gotten a clearer understanding. Still, despite the complexity of Ames's energies, Gabriel knew that the guy's act of kindness came from something deep. As much as he wanted to repay the favor and help fix whatever problem there could be in Ames, it was a private space that he was neither authorized nor permitted to enter. As of the moment, he just had to be thankful for the act of kindness. He surely, sincerely, deeply was.
"Alright, Gabriel," Ames said after a while. "I'm gonna' work on something in the kitchen while you change clothes."
"Thank you," Gabriel held out his hand, which Ames firmly shook. "I won't forget this. Hero helping a former hero."
"I'm no hero," Ames replied, smiling humbly.
"Yeah?" Gabriel chuckled as he stood up. He didn't know where to go exactly from here, but Ames would probably fill him in on that later. "Why not? Teachers are."
Gabriel checked himself out in the mirror. He looked very comfortable. The light feeling of the casual outfit was refreshing. He'd worn civilian fashions in Division, but those moments had been brief. In moments of leisure in the headquarters, superhumans wore a flexible non-combatant body suit, which was comfortable and allowed for quick bathroom sessions. These were worn as a substitute for underwear. No matter what civilian clothes they wore, there would always be a body suit underneath. It helped Division monitor their physical states and allowed for the non-destructive use of their powers. For the most part, Gabriel hadn't needed it in using his powers.
He now wore a simple, comfortable, and rather airy black shirt. Black really suited him. He had well-fitting, faded blue jeans on, too. As for his damaged suit, he knew that if he were to go and disappear fully, he wouldn't want any trace of Alpha with him or on him. He'd made sure to tell Ames to dispose of the suit or, better yet, destroy it completely. Ames had been fortunately understanding of the instruction.
That was one thing out of the way.
'I have twenty thousand pesos,' he thought next. 'What do I do with it?'
He gave his reflection in the mirror one last look.
He'd never looked this comfortable. For some strange reason, his reflection looked like a stranger for a bit, even if he was looking at his own face and his own body.
'I guess I'm really doing it.'
"I just realized that I didn't prepare any footwear for you, so there you have it," Ames said, pointing to a pair of black sneakers and a pair of brown sandals by the front door. "Here. This should help."
Gabriel looked at what else Ames was offering. It was a cap flipped down to nest a pair of packed sandwiches and eyeglasses.
"I don't know if it's common Enforcer strategy, considering your celebrity status, but nothing beats a solid disguise," Ames added.
Gabriel took the cap gently and gave Ames a thankful smile.
"What a night it was, right?" Gabriel asked, chuckling. "I'm sorry for all the troubles I caused, Teacher Ambrose..."
"I never thought I'd ever be of help to an Enforcer," Ames replied.
"Was a nightmare, huh?" Gabriel asked jokingly.
"Not as bad as I expected," Ames answered. There was some tinge of truth to that, but the humor was just as authentic. It was complex, but no matter what it was, Ames had been genuinely kind. That was something that Gabriel couldn't ever forget. "I wish you well, Mr. Clemente."
"For everything, I thank you," Gabriel said, pulling the cap close to his nose and sniffing the sandwiches. He knew the scent very well. "For the tuna, egg, and mayo sandwich, too. Call me Gab."
"Gab," Ames repeated affirmatively. "You'd best avoid lodging houses and anywhere with strict registration processes. Your best bet is out of the city, maybe in a province. Until you can get out of the country, of course."
"Gotcha'," Gabriel confirmed.
"Probably good to start adapting a new name," Ames concluded.
"You're right," Gabriel said in agreement, taking a deep breath. As per the clock, it was almost 7:46 AM. "Thank you for the help. I won't forget this."
"I guess neither will I," Ames said after a while. "Take care of yourself, Gab."
"You too, Ames," Gabriel replied, giving the guy a friendly hand on the shoulder. "Also, I think it'll be best if you burn the suit for good. You already took out the nanobots when you soaked it in commercial formula. It should burn now."
"I figured as much," Ames remarked, smiling faintly as he nodded in agreement. "I'll deal with it. You should get going, Gab."
"Yep," Gabriel replied, respectfully letting go of Ames's shoulder. "I should. Take care, Ames."
'Weird,' he thought to himself as he faced the door. 'I barely know this person, if at all, and yet it sucks to go.'
He made his way to the door with a heavy sigh. The past few hours had been unexpectedly heavy, but he knew he was making an important call that, at the back of his mind, was long overdue. What Ames probably didn't understand was that he was instrumental in making this change simply out of the kindness of his heart. Whatever energy Gabriel was picking up from Ames that, in retrospect, may have been suggestive of a general discomfort toward the idea of mingling with superhumans, the young man's kindness shone through it.
Gabriel stopped by the chair next to the doorway and stuffed his sandwiches and his slippers into his bag. He then put on the sneakers, the non-prescriptive glasses, and the cap.
"Totally not recognizing you," Ames joked from behind. Gabriel couldn't help but laugh at it, glancing back at Ames before opening the door to the sun outside and walking out. The morning air was fresh. He savored a big breath before bending on his knee a bit.
"What are you doing?" came Ames's alarmed voice.
Gabriel swiftly looked back at him in surprise.
"Don't fly...," Ames whispered, grinning in amusement.
"Oh," Gabriel chuckled in embarrassment, shaking his head before giving his rescuer one last nod of thanks, which was returned respectfully.
'I don't know where I'm going exactly,' he thought as his eyes lingered on the face of an unexpected friend. 'But thank you for giving me something for the road. Someday, I will repay you.'
With a peculiar weight in his chest, he made his way to the gate.