The Rejected Female Wolf - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

"Everytime I touched them, everytime I felt them, I would picture you in my mind with that same look of sadness and heartbroken. I couldn't take it. I felt disgusted of myself. That was when I was sleeping and the pain came. I had no clue what it was," I knew perfectly what he was talking about," The pain got to the point where I called your brother Jared and asked him to come over for help to go to the pack doctor. When I got there and they assessed me and told me why I was feeling great pain, I couldn't believe it. It felt like my heart had just exploded from guilt and sadness. The doctor had said that you had just had sex with someone else and since you lost your virginity it would double the pain. I was heartbroken. The guilt suffocated me. The only good thing that came out of it was knowing that wherever you were, you were alive. Jared tried to hide it but I know he was relieved that you were alive. I just, why? Why Jenna? I know you hated me and that you were heartbroken and that I cheated on you, but why would you do it? Was it revenge?"
I turned away from him and swallowed a lodge in my throat. The bed protested as I felt Luke get up from the position of where he was laying. Two fingers tilted my face so that I was facing him. I mentally cringed when I saw his glassy black eyes and streaks of tears down his face.
"Today when you said that it was a family problem and that I should leave, it felt like a stab to the heart. It hurt me to know that you don't see me as a part of the family. Do you hate me so much that you can't trust or rely on me?" I felt a piece of my heart break as another tear slipped from his eye. He made no move to wipe it away instead he stares at me for what I assume an answer.
"Do you want me to be sincere and answer your questions?" I asked him with a look that read 'This isn't going to be pretty.'
He nodded his head and I removed his fingers from my face. He grimaced at this but didn't protest. I scooted farther up the bed and sat Indian style.
"What are your questions and please note that I'm going to be truthfully honest and it might hurt you," I say with a grimace.
He nods his head hesitantly. "Why and who did you lose your virginity to?" He said with a bit of anger in his tone.
I sucked in a sharp breath. I don't think I wanted to tell him. "You promise you won't go and beat him up?"
A war was clearly going on between him and his wolf but in the end he agreed. "I was going through heat. This was a year after I ran away. I had lost all of weight but I hadn't grown muscle yet. I had a small and slender frame is another way to put it. Don't get mad, but during that time I had developed feelings over someone," I stopped when I heard Luke growl quietly.
"Sorry," he murmured.
I shook my head and continued. "As I was saying, I had developed feelings over Blake and-" Oops. I'd didn't mean to say his name.
Luke growled angrily and his eyes were starting to change.
'Do something, stupid!' Crystal yelled in my mind. I placed a hand on his shoulder and massaged it.
Really? Was that the best I could come up with? "Luke you promised," I reminded him.
He began to calm down and I pulled my hand away from him. "Ok so where was I at? Oh yeah Blake. Well we liked each other and when I got into heat, wesortofhadsex," I say really fast.
I glanced at Luke and he had a blank look. "You had sex with your Alpha?" He asked calmly. Great now he's going to think I'm some sort of slut.
"Yes."
He blew air from his mouth. "Ok."
I stared at him in disbelief. This should be the part where he gets pissed off and runs off to find Blake and beat the shit out of him. "Why aren't you mad?"
"I am. Very, but I'm trying my best to stay under control from killing someone you really care about."
Without my consent, a small smile forms on my lips. "Thank you."
"Yeah yeah. Now answer why you did it."
"I did it partially for revenge and because I liked him at the time and I sure as hell wasn't going to make it through that heat without getting raped so I trusted Blake to relieve me," I spoke with truth.
"Okay. Do you trust me Jenna?" He blurted out.
I was taken aback from his answer but nonetheless I answered him. "Yes."
It was his turn to be taken aback. "Why? I did so many bad things to you."
"I know you did many things that should've made me reject you but I have this feeling of trust for you. I know you are trying to better yourself so I trust you."