The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Cassie Pov
"Three bedrooms and two full baths...," the young woman rambled on as I stared at the pictures.  I never knew how difficult it is to buy a house... hell... even rent one.  I have no credit since Antonia always paid, I don't understand anything this woman is saying about mortage and  all the bills... my head is starting to hurt.
"Can we take a break?" I asked, holding my head in my hands.  The young woman agreed and left... giving me space.  I always knew I wasn't the smartest... that I relied on Antonia, but never to this extent.  I feel like a child... like a failure.  Everything was in a complicated language - which was called money.  I've only been speaking to this woman for an hour and I'm already tired.   "How did Antonia do this?" I mumbled.
Shelby then called.
"Hello?"
"Hey, can you come in today?  I need help with a class.  Michael needed to call off because her son is sick and is taking him to the doctors," she was breathing heavily.
I know I should stay and learn about this but... I don't think I can take anymore, "Yeah, I'll be there in ten minutes."  Packing up my stuff, I called out to the woman, "I'm so sorry!  I have an emergency at home.  Can you email me everything?"
"Of course!"  She handed me a packet and wished me well as I headed out.
Rushing in, I head over to the hall filled with people.  Instantly I plaster on my cheer face and get a random rush of energy, "Hey everyone!  My name is Cassidy and I'll be your instructor for today!  Michael was unable to make it, so I'm here to lead you!  Let's get started!"  Everyone piled in and started laying down their stuff.  I watched them all come back and start the torment, "Alright!  We're going to start with some simple stretches, then we'll do a routine, and finally run through it at the end as a group!  Ready?"
"Yep!"
"Let's begin then!"
~
"Thank you Jaelynn, I owe you," I said on the phone.  It was seven now and I was just getting done with work.  I got caught up and started taking on more and more classes.  It was really fun... actually... it helped me relax.
"Mama don't worry.  The twins and I are fine.  Text when you're heading home," she said.  Jaelynn has always been dependable.  I could call her out of nowhere and she'll come over.  She  is exactly like Antonia.
Antonia.
I should probably call her and tell her I'll be home late.  That I was busy and asked Jaelynn to pick up the kids.  Going to her contact, I stopped and remembered what she did a few weeks ago.  She didn't tell me she wasn't coming home... she told Jaelynn.  She didn't even have the respect to message me.
Antonia has never respected me... she has only looked at me as an obligation.
Biting my lip, I shake my head, "Just because she did that, doesn't mean I should."  Clicking the call button, I waited for her to answer.
"Hello?" She sounded.... confused.
"I won't be back at the house until late.  I got caught up with some things, so I asked Jaelynn to pick up the kids.  If you're going home soon, please swing by somewhere to get the kids dinner," I tried to stay fine... as if my heart wasn't going a million miles per hour.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
I was caught off guard, "Stuff."
"What 'stuff'?"
"What does this have to do with the kids?" I asked, feeling annoyed, "I just wanted you to know I was returning late... I don't want you to worry... I also wanted you to know that the kids are fine.  Nothing else."
"But what are you doing that is so important that takes you away from the kids?" She asked.
Biting my cheek, I spit back, "And what are you doing Antonia?  Your work day ends at six, yet you are still at work... past hours everyday.  What are you doing?"
"Work...," she whispered.
"Work with Jennifer Costa... right?" I asked.
"Why does she always get mentioned?" She grumbled.
I chuckled, "Because she's now part of your life..."
"What?"
"You don't have to pretend," I stared out the window, feeling tears start to form, "I know Jennifer is the better pick... that you two are happy.  I understand.  I'm not angry... I promise.  I don't need anymore explanations.  I just wanted to let you know I was caught up and not to worry about me or the kids... bye."
"Wait," she abruptly said, "where are you right now Cassie?"
I don't want her to know.
I don't want her to know my workplace is... my safe haven.
"I'm driving right now," I mumbled.
"No you aren't.  You never call when you're driving and there is no noise in the background," she said, "where are you Cassie?"
"I need to go," I said.
"Cassie," she sighed, "if you hang up... we can't fix our relationship.  If you hang up right now... we're done."
Ever since I was a child, I understood loneliness.
I understood that I was destined to be alone, unloved, hated, and broken.  My brother left, my mother hated me, my father abandoned me, and none of my friends cared for me.
I understood that.
Antonia was the only thing that broke those labels.
She made me feel important and truth be told, I only needed her.
Maybe I was foolish to think my life could be different.
Smiling as tears fell down my cheeks, I hung-up.