The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Jaelynn Pov
"Thank you!" I shouted, running down the steps to my car, "fucking shit!" I was running late to the twins match and I promised to film it for them! As I hopped into my car, I called mama. She answered right away, like usual, "Mama, I'm heading to the match right now. I'm so sorry."
"It's all good baby! The twins are out on the field already. I'll take photos," she sounded... tired. It was tense in our house. Mom came home to change, sleep, and then left. I haven't spoken to her for a couple days now... and twins have been... avoiding her. Ever since they saw mama get upset. "Jaelynn?"
"Sorry mama," I sighed.
"Go home baby. I have lasagna in the fridge," she said, a little chuckle, "you're tired baby. Go rest."
"But-" "Go," she insisted and I didn't want to fight her... too tired to do so.
I drove to the house, but on the way I couldn't stop thinking about mama. Mama was always smiling. She was always dressed and had the house sparkling. She helped with schoolwork as much as she could... but she didn't know too much. Though she wasn't good at some important things, she was always there for us. She held us when we cried, laughed with us at our funny mistakes, and celebrated our victories. She gave us all of her attention.
I loved that.
But mama isn't like that anymore.
She comes home disheveled. Her face red and legs wobbly. She listens but doesn't actually listen. She does more takeout than actual cooking.
And she doesn't smile.
A piece of me wants to blame mom. I want to shout and scream, but I know she's going through something herself.
But I have no idea what.
Getting to the house, I was shocked to see the light on. Quickly, I went to the front door and rushed up the steps.
I heard two voices.
"I just need an outfit for tomorrow," mom's voice.
"You have a meeting with Chris Mayor?" The other voice sounded familiar.
"Yeah... something about his daughter," she sounded... happy.
So you're happy, but mama is suffering?
"Is he even allowed to do that?"
Jennifer
"Are we even allowed to hangout outside of work?" My anger was boiling... I was about to explode.
"As long as we don't get caught, there is nothing wrong," Jennifer said.
And I lost it.
Slamming open the door, I saw Jennifer hugging mom from behind. My heart began to crush.... I felt as if my body was suffocating.
As if I was dying.
"Jaelynn? Shouldn't you be at the game?" Mom asked.
"Shouldn't you?" I responded, "Shouldn't you be in the stands, cheering for them? Taking pictures and laughing with mama? Shouldn't you be spending time with your children? Actually giving a damn?" I moved closer, "But you're with her... packing a bag to spend the night with her... with your whore."
"Jaelynn!" She shouted, looking at me with disgust.
"Oh... oh.. its not okay to chuck insults at her but she can come my mama's house... to the fucking place mama takes care of for you and make her feel like utter shit. She can steal you away... but I can't insult her," I watched her stand silently... staring at me. I chuckled, shaking my head, "Get the fuck out. Get out. Don't come back. Don't fuck mama up anymore."
"Enough Jaelynn. You don't even understand what's going on," she said, shaking her head, "you can be angry, express your thoughts and opinions... but do not be disrespectful."
"Then don't disrespect mama," I said.
The woman I admired... that I built my goals off of... it all came tumbling down. She was no longer a woman of integrity... a respectable, honorable, and considerable woman.
She was a fucking virus.
"Just go," I stepped to the side, allowing her the ability to pass. She stood a moment, but gathered her things and took Jennifer's hand to leave. As she neared me, I said, "Just do me one motherly favor. Leave the twins with mama."
"No," she said... shocked, "Cassie doesn't understand the real world. She can't do anything."
"Then I'll help her," I said, feeling myself become bigger than her, "me and Peter will help her." Pushing my face as close as I could to her, I whispered, "We'll show mama and be the true support she needs. Not a flaky person like you."
With that, I turned away.
Because I was turning my back on her forever.
~
I heard the twins rush to their rooms... excited about the gifts mama and I picked out for them. For Jessika,
we got her rollerblades and for Jakob, we got him Nerf guns.
The light footsteps came closer and closer to the door and once it opened, I looked up at mama with tears in my eyes, "She left with her."
A small.. sad smile came onto her face as she said, "I know."
And with those words, I silently cried.... afraid that if the twins heard... it would ruin their victorious day.
Cassie Pov
Waking up to an empty bed... a feeling I became very familiar with. I was used to be alone during the morning and afternoon... but now I must adjust to the night.
Everyday I spent it learning about finances. I started going to a free adult learning center. After going to the lessons, I then headed to Shelby's studio and taught for the remainder of the day. Then I drive to the school, get the kids and go through a drive through... for I was too tired to cook.
Since I was busy throughout the day, I didn't have time to think of Antonia... to dwell on the mistake called our marriage. I was a fool to think we would last.
With Antonia being gone, I am unable to get my medication... I don't know how. Everything is under her name... it all has to be picked up and purchased by her. Since she's never home now... I'm left with nothing.
Due to the lack of medication, my fits have came back at night. Night terrors, memories, and unwanted thoughts occupied my mind. Nights where I desired the taste of alcohol and drugs.
Nights where I carved someone's touch, that I almost left to find someone.
I would wake up sweating and when I was about to scream I would remember the children. I couldn't scream... I couldn't break down.
They only have one parent right now... they need me.
For I have to silently and invisibly go insane.
I was seated at a bar, staring at the bottles before me.  Jaelynn was out with Peter, the twins out and spending the night with friends.
I was all alone.
Liquor... any kind... preferably strong... I could taste it on the tip of my tongue.
I wanted it.
I needed it.
You don't need it.  It's just your mind playing tricks.
Pinching my skin, I push my head into the counter... wanting to cry but nothing would come out.
Without realizing it, I fell asleep....
And dreamt of Elijah.
"Cassidy!" I giggled into my hands as I watched his feet wander around, "Come on! I'm not as smart as you!" Giggled again and again. Suddenly it got quiet and he stopped moving.... then he launched himself onto the bed making me scream. Then he swung over and smiled at me, "Caught you!"
That smile soon faded and quickly the face of him.... with the rope around his neck.
Everything looked the same... but the only thing was there was no smile... no color in his face...
Just two lines of tears that burned into his skin.