The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 44: Chapter 44

"Why can't we just have sex!" My boyfriend, Nathan, complained, "You're acting as if you're trying to save it for marriage."
"Maybe I just don't want to sleep with you!" I shouted back, tired of his harassment. Ever since I got into high school, sex became the next big thing. Guys bragged about the chicks they got and girls bragged about the guys who wanted them. It was an adjustment for sure... but I just wasn't ready to do that. "If you want sex so much, just go fuck someone else cause I'm done with your ass!"
"Fuck you," he muttered, walking out.
Fixing my shirt, I just sigh. The football team was running across the field, doing suicides I think. In the front was James... fucking James. Instantly, I punched the window and screamed, "Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you - you fucking asshole!" I hit it over and over until my hands hurt too much to try it again. Turning away, I lean my head against the glass and huff... taking in the silence.
School was shit.
People are shit.
And James is shit.
"Fuck you," I mumbled and grabbed my stuff for lunch.
~
"Have you heard about Riley and Kendall?" Leilani asked, pushing back her big black curls, "Apparently Kendall fucked Trixie."
"Are you surprised?" Michelle asked, "They've been on and off for years! You really think Riley was going to change their dynamic?"
"True," Bethany jumped in, "either they're just going to get back together or Trix is going to get pregnant and that's how they get married."
"If she has a baby, she can't go to school," Leilani said.
"No shit sherlock," Michelle replied, "what do you think Haze?"
I was busy staring at James and Valerie. She was wearing his old basketball jacket and his arm was slung around her. I hated it. I hated her. I wish I had her flawless skin, her thin waist, her plump lips, and pretty brown eyes.... I'm stuck looking like Barbie while she looks exotic... alluring.
"Haze," Michelle shook me, "what's up?"
"Nothing," I sighed, huffing, "if Trixie wants to take Kendal back, she should have the guts to do it."
"What do you mean?" Bethany asked.
"Easy," I shrugged, "make Riley's life a living hell... and get your man."
"Riley isn't awful you know," Leilani said, "she is actually a really sweet girl... attends church every Sunday and makes sure she remains pure for her husband."
"So she's a Bible-thumper?" I laughed, "Believe what you want - all is fair in love and war." Glancing back at them, James and I made eye contact. He'd grown a lot. He was around 5'11 now, his dark hair was gelled liked Joey from Friends, and he was a filled out a bit - all thanks to football. He stared at me, deeply. It was as if we were communicating. He shifted his eyes to what seemed behind me, making me turn around. Nathan was standing behind me, hands in pockets. I stood up, turning away from James, and focused on Nathan, "What do you want?"
"I'm sorry for being a dick," he said, "I just don't think you dig me... you get?"
'I don't.'
"You're so stupid," I wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling up at him. Inside I was puking, thinking his stupid toothy grin was annoying and his height just wasn't tall enough, "I love yah baby."
"I love you baby," he smacked my ass and gave me a kiss.
~
Doing my usual set of crunches for every night, I got a knock on the door, "Come in!" The door flew open and in stepped James. He was carrying his shit like usual and like usual he dropped it off. Rolling my eyes, I continue doing my crunches, "What do you want?"
"What was that in the cafeteria?" He asked.
"I can't kiss my boyfriend?" I asked, laying back to look up at him, "You kiss Valerie quite a lot."
"Yeah, but you did it intentionally in front of me," he said, glaring down at me. James always had this thing about him. He always thought he was the shit and everyone was below him. At first it pissed me off, but soon I understood why. He's an alpha. He dominates everywhere he goes... and if you challenge him, you're good as dead. "Why?"
I shrugged, "Just felt like it." Getting up, I felt him pull me and shove me onto my bed.
And I had to stop myself from grinning as he smashed his lips onto mine.
All summer he's been doing this. I'd piss him off, he'd come to my room to question me, and then we'd end up making out for a good hour or two. The first time it happened, it threw me off, but now I loved it. I have goosebumps every time I remember it.
As he dominates me, running his hands where he wants - especially my ass since Nathan touched me there today, he muttered into my skin, "You fucking piss me off."
"Good," I muttered back, then I'd pull his face up to mine so we were eye to eye, "that's all you get Winters... remember, you have a girlfriend."
And for a moment... a tiny second, his eyes said fuck it.... however, they changed to 'Valerie is better.'
He climbed off me, letting me readjust myself. For a moment we stand in awkward silence, until he yells at me, "If only you made yourself look prettier, tried harder, got skinner... then I wouldn't have to be with Valerie." Hit after hit... he never pulled his punches... his insults burned into me. "Fuck... you're better than what you were, but you're still fucking ugly... stupid bitch." He grabbed himself and left.
Sitting on my bed, I stared at my feet... wondering.
How the fuck do I destroy her?