The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 48: Chapter 48

"What the fuck were you thinking Hazel!" My brothers screamed at me, causing me to breakdown and hide behind James.  "Are you fucking stupid?  Giving up your entire life for this fucker!"
"She's an adult," James said, "she can make her own choices."
"Shut the fuck up," my eldest brother said, getting in James's face, "I don't want to hear shit from you.  I know guys like you... you think you're untouchable, that you're some fucking god.  You're nothing but trash."
"Stop it!" I yelled back, "If you love me, you'd be happy for me!"  Running over to my dad, I cried on him, "Please make them stop.... Please."  To my surprise, he pulled away.  Staring at him, I felt my heart split.  He was tearing up, giving me this wobbly smile, "Hazel... we can't afford a wedding right now... we la can't afford another child... I'm sorry baby." Weeping, I pulled myself from my father... enraged at his decision. He turned to James, choking up like a little bitch, "We would still like to attend... but we cannot pay for a wedding right now."
"Then that is too bad," James tugged name over, sighing, "we aren't going to have moochers attend our wedding. Either pay for half or you cannot come.... It seems you've made your choice however."
"Please," my mom muttered, "at least allow her father to walk her down the aisle."
"And why would I allow that?" He spoke up, squeezing my hand to tell me to be quiet, "If he doesn't care enough for his daughter to pay for half, than why should I show him respect by allowing him to walk her down to me?" My brothers, boys with no manners, we're ready to pounce on James... worrying me. But James remained calm, nothing bothered him, "Respect is earn Mr. Smith... not given out to anyone with ears. It's sad how you prioritize your sons and outcast your daughter."
"You fucking bitch," my second eldest brother yelled, coming at him but my other brothers held him back... knowing the lawsuit would make them bankrupt.
James turned and took my hand, gathering my stuff he said, "Do not contact Hazel... not until permission is granted. If you need something, feel free to call me."
And with that, I never saw my parents again.
I married James and a few months later our first child was born... Elijah Winters. James was happy I birthed a boy first. He said he could protect our daughters... but I secretly think he was happy that his name could be passed down.
For the first few years of Elijah's life, we were all so happy. James was doing well in college and I was taking care of Elijah - whom was growing quickly and intelligently. By the time he was five and half months, he took his first steps. At eleven, he said his first words. He was definitely like his father and it was such an enjoyable thing for us.
We were going to be an amazing family.
Elijah at 9 years old
"Fuck," I muttered, holding my head in my hands... another negative test. Tossing it in the trash and washing my hands, I stare into my eyes... grimacing at them. How ugly I was... how much weight I've gained. Luckily I used coconut oil to stop the stretch marks, but I have totally let myself go. It's disgusting how I'm 113 now.... Fucking disgusting. I'll just go back to one meal a day and having it be less than 500 calories. That helps the weight slide right off.
As I got downstairs I could hear James yelling at Elijah again for being a pansy, "What did I tell you about crying? Boys don't cry!"
"I...I'm... I'm s-sorry... d-dad-daddy," he was coughing and choking on his tears... disgraceful.
"Stop stuttering like an idiot. No one in this house raised you to be pathetic. Grow the fuck up," James's voice echoed through kitchen as I prepped lunch. Suddenly the loud sound of a smack came and Elijah's cries were much louder, "Worthless piece of shit! Grow a pair! Men don't cry or stutter! No woman will want your fucking pathetic ass if you keep acting like this!"
"I'm sorry," he shouted but the cries and hits just got louder.
For a moment, just a small little moment, I felt this need to rush over and say something... to take James's attention away from Elijah... but that wouldn't do anything. Elijah needs to be a man... needs to be taught correctly and that's what James is doing. He needs a strong male role model... not his soft stupid mother. So I continued with lunch as I silently whispered, "And James will just hit me if I interfere."
~
"I told you to stop crying and stuttering," I said as I tidied up Elijah's bed for him to sleep, "daddy only hates that."
"I don't mean to," he mumbled, "it just happens."
"We'll fix it," I said back, "or you'll forever be nothing but trash and Winters aren't trash." I watched him nod and climb into bed. He had a bruise on his cheek and his nose was swollen so he breathed through his mouth. Sighing, I muttered, "Disgusting... you can't do anything right can you?"
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"Enough, just go to bed. Be better tomorrow," I said, leaving his room with the lights off. After getting punished he wouldn't whine about the lights, so I took the opportunity. He needs fo learn how to be a man.
Going into the bedroom, James immediately asked, "What did the test say?"
Pulling off my shirt to get into my pajamas, I whispered, "Negative... again."
"Another failure," he chuckled, "I see where he gets his stupidity from."
"I'll do better," I said, keeping my back to him, "I will get pregnant again... I'll give you another child... I promise."
"Good," he said, walking over to me. Leaning down, he kissed my shoulder and neck, taking my clothes off, "And get rid of this extra weight... it feels disgusting when we have sex."
I watched him in the mirror as he stripped me. Smiling, I muttered, "Yes James."