The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Elijah at 10 years old
The moment my eyes opened I bolted to the bathroom to puke.  Though it was painful and tears built up, I was happy over this.... Could this be it?  Am I finally giving James another child?
As I finished up and washed out my mouth, James opened the door and said, "Come on.  We're going to the doctors."
"Why?" I asked.
"Get a pregnancy test," he shouted, a hint of excitement was there.  I was overjoyed with his happiness, so I hurriedly got ready and took care of Elijah.  Once in the car, James was rambling on, "I really hope it's a girl.  Another son... we can have one later."
"You are getting a little brother or sister Elijah," I smiled at him, but he nodded.  He's been practicing being quiet, something James demanded from him.
"We'll inform everyone about your pregnancy," James took my hand, kissing the top of it.  I watched as he quickly looked into my eyes and whispered, "Thank you Hazel."
I wanted to cry from ecstasy.
~
James and I were pregnant... three and half months.
After receiving that news, James became his old self.  He came home early, took care of the house, and played with Elijah.  He spoiled me with snacks and treats and he took Elijah to the park and played.  Elijah smiled so much and I was too.
It was all so new.
I started gaining weight... too much weight.  Staring at myself in the mirror, I frowned at the sight of myself. I was about five months now... and I was around 133 now.
"Disgusting," I mumbled, fear slowly setting in, "I have to lose it... James will be disgusted and his happiness recently will go away if I stay this big... I have to lose it."
Our bedroom door opened and I immediately got all smiley as James came in.  He was grumbling, mad about something from work, but when he saw me... a smile came.  "Hi," he said as he came over to me.  He knelt down in front of me and kissed my stomach, "How's my baby girl doing in there?"
"She's missed you," I said, rubbing the top of his head.
James leaned his ear onto my stomach and huffed.  We stayed like that for a good few minutes before he said, "My grandma passed away last night."
"Grandma Cassidy?" I asked, worried, "I'm sorry my love... I'm sorry."
"She was the kindest to me," he muttered, kissing my stomach again, "I want our daughter to be just as kind, beautiful, and loving as her... her name is going to be Cassidy Winters."
He seemed so happy... so content with that name, that I just tossed aside the names I have written down.  Kissing his head, I said, "Cassidy Winters... a beautiful name."
~
Around the sixth month of my pregnancy, there was a shift.  Everything was too painful.  I was in pain constantly; my back hurting, my legs hurting, inner organs and more.  I felt sick more often and I needed to lay down.  James would call a doctor almost everyday and they said the same thing over and over, 'Its normal pregnancy pains'.... But it wasn't.  Elijah never hurt like this... I was never bed rested with Elijah.
It became so painful that I would faint from the pain, cry, and beg for it to stop.  James was so worried he stayed home for the last two month of my pregnancy... and when it came to labor... I felt as if I was going to die.
Twenty hours... twenty hours of labor.
The pain was excruciating.  I felt like I was being ripped apart.  It wasn't like that with Elijah... his was simple.  Five hours of labor and it hurt a little... but this was unbearable.
Nurses screamed at me to stay awake and James was by my side the whole time... but I felt exhausted.  I wanted to be left alone... to just have the pain end.  I didn't care about the baby anymore.  The pain was causing me to shake and become delirious... it was too much... too much.
Once Cassidy was born the pain lingered.  I asked James to do skin to skin because I couldn't handle her at the moment.  After about two hours I was able to take her in my arms... but I knew something was different about her.
I knew she would be trouble... cause us tons of pain, but I didn't want to believe it.  She was my baby girl... our second child.  I didn't want to plague my thoughts so I pushed it down and enjoyed the day.
But the thought always stayed around.
~
Right after Cassidy was born, I started to lose weight.  I was around 160 by the ending of my pregnancy... a number I've never hit before.
The moment we could have sex again we did.  James was impatient and would push me, but I wanted to wait until the doctors said it was okay.  After that pregnancy... I was scared.  James was different in bed.  He wanted it more often and he wanted to do things we never did before.
He enjoyed things that terrified me, but I wanted to make him happy, however, there was a time I begged him to stop but he didn't.  He tore the inside a bit, but like he said, It'll heal.  Sex stopped being pleasurable.  I mean, it wasn't exactly amazing before but now... it wasn't even something I wanted to think about.  He left me alone when I was with Cassidy, but the moment I left her room he was on me.  Pain became a norm and I hated it.
Cassidy was about seven months old when I fell pregnant again.  James was excited, saying he was happy we had been doing it more.  However this pregnancy was much different.  By the time I was four months I was in pain again.  I gained weight faster and I stopped having a appetite.
I was around 160 again by the time I was at five months and that made James upset, "Many women workout during their pregnancy.  Just do it.  I'm tired of fucking fat."
So I did.  I went back to my old diets.  One meal a day that was under 500 calories and exercising three times a day.  I lost weight quick, but the pain only grew.
And to my horror... I would find out what that pain meant when I went into labor.