The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

I was only at 23 weeks when my water broke.  James rushed to the hospital but I was in so much pain... it was worst than Cassidy's.  I couldn't stop myself from screaming and I could feel something was wrong.
Once I was in, it took only three hours... and once she was out I felt myself dying.  James was holding my hand, kissing the top of it as we waited for our baby girl to cry.... But no high pitched squeal came.  Instantly I knew.
I knew what all that pain meant.
"Why isn't she crying?" James shouted.
"Sir, we need you to leave the room," a nurse tried to speak calmly but it didn't work.
"No!  Why isn't my daughter crying!" He was becoming aggressive... ready to hurt anyone, so I reached out and took his hand.  He looked over at me to see my tears.
"Stop... stop," I sobbed, "she's not here James."
That was the first time he cried since he found out Valerie cheated on him.
While he cried, I numbingly stared at the ceiling... unable to cry, because of a piece was still stuck in why?
~
"Malnutrition... we believe the baby made one last effort to be born but without any nutrients to come out... her heart gave out."
"Since your baby survived past 20 weeks, we can give her a birth certificate if you chose."
"What was her name?"
"Adele Winters," I mumbled, staring out the window of our house. Everything was silent... the children stayed with James's parents for right now and James was busy at work....
I was alone.
"All I ever asked from you was to please me, to keep the house in order, and have kids! Nothing else! I never demanded anything from you!"
"I'm sorry."
"Fucking worthless... first you give me a piece of shit son, then you gain a shit ton of weight when pregnant with Cassidy... you're lucky I stayed through that.... And now you've killed my child? You killed my child!"
"We can always have more! I promise!"
"Are you fucking stupid? The doctor said you can't bare anymore children! That you're body is worthless!"
"I'm sorry James... I'm sorry."
"Fucking disgrace... piece of trash..."
He hasn't came home since the loss of Adele... no calls or messages. I'm alone all alone.
~
My hair was pinned the way he liked it, my outfit perfect and smile gleaming. Heading into his office I greeted everyone... acted as if nothing was wrong. As I headed up the elevator and went down the hall, his secretary intervened, "Mrs. Winters... what are you doing here? You didn't call ahead."
"I wanted to surprise James with lunch," I smiled... annoying pest.
"I don't think right now is a good time," before I could argue and tell her to shut her trap, his door opened and with all my excitement I was about to tell his name... but a woman... a young woman came out... giving him a kiss.
When I slammed our front door I started trashing everything. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I broke every vase and cup. I tore apart pictures and smashed the TV. Everything was dissembled... everything was in pieces.
How fucking date he.... I've given him children, a home, everything! I've given up everything for him! I've given him every inch of my soul! Every part of my mind!
Seating in the mess called my house, I whimpered, "How do I get him to stay? How to do I keep him close? How do I fix this? Lose weight? Get better makeup? Have more sex? What else? What fucking else?" Then I glanced up at the portrait on the wall... of us four.... Then I chuckled, "I'll make them perfect... have them be everything he wants. He'll have the perfect son, daughter, and wife... yes... he'll come back then... he'll love me again."
Every mistake Elijah made, he got a punishment. Every little thing wrong, Cassidy got a punishment.
Didn't stand straight?
She got no dinner.
Didn't get an A on a test?
He was beaten.
Gained too much weight?
One meal a day and she'd puke it up.
Wasn't captain of his team?
A punch in the eye or beaten until he bled.
Didn't go to church?
Shoved in the closest for the weekend... no food and no bathroom. Piss on the floor.
Our kids would do everything right... no flaws... no gaps. They must be perfect, they must be what he wants, they must be loved... or he won't come back.
I don't care if they hate me... if they cry, bleed or even died. They will do as I say and do it correctly or else they will be punished.
Because James needs everything to be perfect... for his work, his life... because he deserves everything to be perfect.... James must have everything be as he wants it.
And I'll make sure it happens.