The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 62: Chapter 62
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Ani POV
"That's everything you need to know," I said, handing Haley the last bit of the file. She nodded, really taking in everything I've said. She was newest to our team. Doe eyed and kind... how this industry would destroy her. I was helping her pack up as Jennifer came busting in.
"What the fuck Antonia? You're dropping the case?" She never really cared that company were around... well... neither did I.
"Yes," I said, smiling at Haley to give her some ease, "it's inappropriate for two people that have had history to work with one another - especially bad history." I handed Jennifer the last bit of my report, "She's trained and ready for court. Run through it with her a couple more times to make sure she memorizes it. Good luck." Then I left the office. Heading down to my cubicle, I saw Jeremiah sitting in the chair next to my desk. Walking over, I grinned when I saw a coffee on it, "Please tell me that's from you."
"It is," he said, grinning, "I heard you're moving to F4 department."
"Yep," I plopped down beside him, "my transfer will be complete in a matter of days."
"I thought you'd never leave this department - 'until I die or get fired'," he teased.
Shrugging I said, "F4 has mild cases, is smaller, and pays almost the same as this one.... Plus, I would work 40 hour weeks and be able to go home at appropriate times."
Jeremiah leaned forward and patted my shoulder, "I'm happy to see you trying to fix it."
I stopped for a moment and whispered, "But can we truly fix it? Cassie says we can't continue this relationship if... if we don't handle my issues with the past."
Jeremiah knew what had occurred with Cassie and I. He knew we had it rough and it was a literal fight everyday to get here. His opinion was sacred to me.
"I get it... I know how hard it is to relive those moments, but I also know how liberating it is to finally move on," he said, catching my attention.
"You're talking as if you have experience."
"Men get sexually assaulted too," he said, "we just hide ours better... Norma and I had to really work on it. We went to therapy and did everything we could. It fucking sucks. Some days you want to puke, others you can breathe a little bit better... I can't imagine having to fix it with the person who did it to you, but I know Cassie loves you like no other."
"I know," I muttered.
"You think you know," he said, catching my attention, "if there is anyone who can help advise you on conquering your past, it's her. Think about it Ani. Cassie had to change for you two to be with one another. Back then, she had to get better... she had to go to therapy, take meds, and show improvement. She had to because you didn't give her any other choice. Don't get me wrong, forcing her has really helped her and made her a bit healthier - but whenever you sit there and want to get upset or angry that she wants you or is forcing you to face the past and fix it... remember she did that for you as well. I bet it isn't easy for her to continue being beside after knowing she causes you so much pain. I bet, she wanted the divorce because she didn't want to hurt you anymore."
"Hurt me?" I muttered, "Her mentioning divorce hurts hell of a lot more... it makes me wonder whether all these years were for nothing."
Suddenly Jeremiah flicked my ear, making me cringe, "Stop thinking like that! You're acting as if she owes you something!" I stared wide-eyed at him. He sighed, "You do this thing without even noticing it. You keep tabs on everything you have done for others and essentially start believing they owe you something because of it. You don't do it maliciously or mean to... it's all unconscious, but it's something you've picked up from your parents. Remember how you told me they would tell you that you basically owed them for feeding you and caring for you - even though that's the job of a parent which they signed up for willingly? That's you with Cassie. You stuck by her and did so much for her during the darkest part of her life... but remember Ani... you chose to do that willingly. If I'm right, back then when she woke up from her 8 year coma, she told you to leave... to not stay with her but you chose to stay."
"I did," I muttered.
"You chose to stay, to help, to love, and make a family. You chose that... for years you kinda lied to Cassie. You told her you had moved on from the past but you've only built more and more resentment. Now it's time to choose whether or not you really want to fix this relationship and be truly honest," he said, flicking my ear again, making me try to hit him but he just laughed, "I'm not saying you're the only one who fucked up. Cassie shouldn't have just said 'DIVORCE'... divorce shouldn't have been the first option. She should have sat down and spoken with you... same with you though. Both of you have fucked up royally and now, it's up to the both of you to fix it. Not just one suppressing her emotions. Not just one doing everything the other person says and living with guilt and fear. Both need to step up to the plate... and Ani... Cassie is at the plate, waiting for you."
"That's everything you need to know," I said, handing Haley the last bit of the file. She nodded, really taking in everything I've said. She was newest to our team. Doe eyed and kind... how this industry would destroy her. I was helping her pack up as Jennifer came busting in.
"What the fuck Antonia? You're dropping the case?" She never really cared that company were around... well... neither did I.
"Yes," I said, smiling at Haley to give her some ease, "it's inappropriate for two people that have had history to work with one another - especially bad history." I handed Jennifer the last bit of my report, "She's trained and ready for court. Run through it with her a couple more times to make sure she memorizes it. Good luck." Then I left the office. Heading down to my cubicle, I saw Jeremiah sitting in the chair next to my desk. Walking over, I grinned when I saw a coffee on it, "Please tell me that's from you."
"It is," he said, grinning, "I heard you're moving to F4 department."
"Yep," I plopped down beside him, "my transfer will be complete in a matter of days."
"I thought you'd never leave this department - 'until I die or get fired'," he teased.
Shrugging I said, "F4 has mild cases, is smaller, and pays almost the same as this one.... Plus, I would work 40 hour weeks and be able to go home at appropriate times."
Jeremiah leaned forward and patted my shoulder, "I'm happy to see you trying to fix it."
I stopped for a moment and whispered, "But can we truly fix it? Cassie says we can't continue this relationship if... if we don't handle my issues with the past."
Jeremiah knew what had occurred with Cassie and I. He knew we had it rough and it was a literal fight everyday to get here. His opinion was sacred to me.
"I get it... I know how hard it is to relive those moments, but I also know how liberating it is to finally move on," he said, catching my attention.
"You're talking as if you have experience."
"Men get sexually assaulted too," he said, "we just hide ours better... Norma and I had to really work on it. We went to therapy and did everything we could. It fucking sucks. Some days you want to puke, others you can breathe a little bit better... I can't imagine having to fix it with the person who did it to you, but I know Cassie loves you like no other."
"I know," I muttered.
"You think you know," he said, catching my attention, "if there is anyone who can help advise you on conquering your past, it's her. Think about it Ani. Cassie had to change for you two to be with one another. Back then, she had to get better... she had to go to therapy, take meds, and show improvement. She had to because you didn't give her any other choice. Don't get me wrong, forcing her has really helped her and made her a bit healthier - but whenever you sit there and want to get upset or angry that she wants you or is forcing you to face the past and fix it... remember she did that for you as well. I bet it isn't easy for her to continue being beside after knowing she causes you so much pain. I bet, she wanted the divorce because she didn't want to hurt you anymore."
"Hurt me?" I muttered, "Her mentioning divorce hurts hell of a lot more... it makes me wonder whether all these years were for nothing."
Suddenly Jeremiah flicked my ear, making me cringe, "Stop thinking like that! You're acting as if she owes you something!" I stared wide-eyed at him. He sighed, "You do this thing without even noticing it. You keep tabs on everything you have done for others and essentially start believing they owe you something because of it. You don't do it maliciously or mean to... it's all unconscious, but it's something you've picked up from your parents. Remember how you told me they would tell you that you basically owed them for feeding you and caring for you - even though that's the job of a parent which they signed up for willingly? That's you with Cassie. You stuck by her and did so much for her during the darkest part of her life... but remember Ani... you chose to do that willingly. If I'm right, back then when she woke up from her 8 year coma, she told you to leave... to not stay with her but you chose to stay."
"I did," I muttered.
"You chose to stay, to help, to love, and make a family. You chose that... for years you kinda lied to Cassie. You told her you had moved on from the past but you've only built more and more resentment. Now it's time to choose whether or not you really want to fix this relationship and be truly honest," he said, flicking my ear again, making me try to hit him but he just laughed, "I'm not saying you're the only one who fucked up. Cassie shouldn't have just said 'DIVORCE'... divorce shouldn't have been the first option. She should have sat down and spoken with you... same with you though. Both of you have fucked up royally and now, it's up to the both of you to fix it. Not just one suppressing her emotions. Not just one doing everything the other person says and living with guilt and fear. Both need to step up to the plate... and Ani... Cassie is at the plate, waiting for you."
End of The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... Chapter 62. Continue reading Chapter 63 or return to The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... book page.