The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... - Chapter 92: Chapter 92
You are reading The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't..., Chapter 92: Chapter 92. Read more chapters of The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't....
Ani POV
"So you actually liked school?" Jessika asked, watching me clean up the living room since Cassie was out doing grocery shopping.
"Yep," I said.
"Why?"
"Education is a privilege," I said, "many don't have it - especially women."
"Ugh," she groaned, "you're giving me the 'there are kids in Africa that have nothing to eat... eat your veggies' lecture!"
"It's true," I fluffed the pillows, "in this country alone, there are thousands who want or wanted to go to college, but don't have the support system, finances, or plan to do so."
"That doesn't make school better though," she complained.
"I never said that school was amazing," I chuckled, "should we be grateful for having the opportunity or access to education? Yes, but does that mean we cannot speak out to the injustices it have? No. We need to keep evolving and the only way to advance is by improving our education system." She just stared at me with bored eyes and annoyance. She knew I would take the conversation this way, so why did she ask. "But that doesn't mean I loved school or that I was happy to be there," I said.
She rushed over, now intrigued, "Explain... please."
I sighed, "School... it made me angry, frustrated, negative and more. The environment that school provides isn't always the greatest - especially the students. Being in a school where nobody your age is like you... it's lonely. Teachers are dictators and have egos that are far too big in my opinion. Principals focus on the stats and kids... they're just trying to survive. Be it by humiliating and ruining others, or keeping your head down and going unnoticed."
"What were you?" She asked.
I smirked, "I was an asshole who wasn't afraid to cut people at the fucking knees for testing me." She took a step back, a moment of fear flashing through her face. I couldn't help but laugh, "I'll admit that I wasn't kind. I didn't care about anyone but Cassie... I used others to get through a school day or a class. Could I have been kinder? More honest? Definitely, but why should I waste energy on those who are only with me for a moment of my life? They're only part of my story for two pages... not everyone deserves your attention or energy. Not everyone deserves to know a damn thing about you, not even your name. School teaches you that you owe everyone something but you don't. No one deserves anything, everything is earned."
"You're...," Jessika mumbled, "terrifying."
"I know," I said, fixing the last pillow, "but there was only one opinion that mattered." I handed Jessika some towels, "Take these up to the laundry room please."
"Mom," she called, having me look over at her. She was blank faced for a bit, but she soon smiled, "I hope to be as strong as you."
I stared at her, taking a couple seconds before saying, "I'm a coward... you should be saying that to Cassie."
~
Cassie was brushing out Jessika's hair as we watched an old show called Ginny and Georgia (remember, this is taking place in 2040). I was halfway asleep when Jakob spoke up, "I pity Ginny."
"Why?" Jessika asked, "She created all her own issues."
"Yes because she chose to be depressed, to face racism, and have a broken family," he rolled his eyes.
I glanced over to Cassie, but she just kept brushing. Jessika spoke up again, "But she did choose to cheat on her boyfriend, be with a guy who was in a relationship, treat her friends awfully - though her friends were also trash, be cruel to her loving mother while idolize a man who abandoned her, be racist to her own boyfriend, constantly act like she is a victim, and overall not take accountability for any of her actions."
"Jessika, she had a hard life growing up," Jakob said, "she moved around a lot, was abandoned by her dad, has a mom who lies a lot, a mom who cheats, and is incredibly alone."
"She's alone because she chose to be. She had a phone! She could have made friends and kept in touch but chose not to. She had a mom who literally does everything for her - supports her, fight for her, love her, protect her... I mean the woman even killed for her. Though her mom does all that, she still goes and idolizes a man that left her! So what the mom slept around and lied a lot? That's none of Ginny's business. What matters is if Georgia was a mom to her and Georgia was. Georgia never gave up on Ginny and did everything she could to keep her safe, but that wasn't enough for her," Jessika said, "and don't give me the 'her life was hard' bs. Everyone's life is hard at some point!"
"Not everyone deals with trauma the same way Jessika," he said, "you played sports, while I focused on academics."
"But did you hurt others because of your trauma?" She asked... Jakob didn't answer, "Exactly."
"What do you think mom?" Jakob asked, annoyed.
I sighed, "Ginny is an average fifteen, sixteen year old. Selfish, incapable of thinking outside of herself, and mad. Everyone goes through that stage."
"I don't remember cheating on someone," Jessika said.
"You've never dated," Jakob said, "so how do you know?"
"Okay, are you going to cheat on Genesis?" She asked.
Before I could interrupt and say no more, Cassie spoke up, "We should be empathic to Ginny's problems. We should acknowledge her struggles and understand why she acts the way she does... but we do not excuse her actions. Just because you have trauma doesn't give you permission or a free pass to hurt others. Cope anyway you see fit, but coping in a way that hurts you or others is inappropriate and wrong." Everyone sat quietly, just looking at Cassie. Jessika just stared at the floor. Cassie continued, "It's easy to cast stones at those who have done something wrong... it's also easy to pity those we think are less than us. Ginny is capable of being a good person and she is a good person... she's just done some bad things. Just because you've made a few bad decisions and done a few bad things doesn't mean you can't be a good person. People change. I'm nothing like my seventeen year old self. My seventeen self was selfish, awful, and vile... but that doesn't mean I hate her. I hate how I felt during those times but I do not hate my past self... for even though I did unspeakable things, that doesn't mean I was an awful person... I was lost and needed help. That's what Ginny is. She needs help but she can only get help when she finally acknowledges her wrongs and takes accountability."
Sitting back, I smiled, "I agree."
Cassie glanced over to me and we both knew what the other was thinking.
We did that ourselves.
"So you actually liked school?" Jessika asked, watching me clean up the living room since Cassie was out doing grocery shopping.
"Yep," I said.
"Why?"
"Education is a privilege," I said, "many don't have it - especially women."
"Ugh," she groaned, "you're giving me the 'there are kids in Africa that have nothing to eat... eat your veggies' lecture!"
"It's true," I fluffed the pillows, "in this country alone, there are thousands who want or wanted to go to college, but don't have the support system, finances, or plan to do so."
"That doesn't make school better though," she complained.
"I never said that school was amazing," I chuckled, "should we be grateful for having the opportunity or access to education? Yes, but does that mean we cannot speak out to the injustices it have? No. We need to keep evolving and the only way to advance is by improving our education system." She just stared at me with bored eyes and annoyance. She knew I would take the conversation this way, so why did she ask. "But that doesn't mean I loved school or that I was happy to be there," I said.
She rushed over, now intrigued, "Explain... please."
I sighed, "School... it made me angry, frustrated, negative and more. The environment that school provides isn't always the greatest - especially the students. Being in a school where nobody your age is like you... it's lonely. Teachers are dictators and have egos that are far too big in my opinion. Principals focus on the stats and kids... they're just trying to survive. Be it by humiliating and ruining others, or keeping your head down and going unnoticed."
"What were you?" She asked.
I smirked, "I was an asshole who wasn't afraid to cut people at the fucking knees for testing me." She took a step back, a moment of fear flashing through her face. I couldn't help but laugh, "I'll admit that I wasn't kind. I didn't care about anyone but Cassie... I used others to get through a school day or a class. Could I have been kinder? More honest? Definitely, but why should I waste energy on those who are only with me for a moment of my life? They're only part of my story for two pages... not everyone deserves your attention or energy. Not everyone deserves to know a damn thing about you, not even your name. School teaches you that you owe everyone something but you don't. No one deserves anything, everything is earned."
"You're...," Jessika mumbled, "terrifying."
"I know," I said, fixing the last pillow, "but there was only one opinion that mattered." I handed Jessika some towels, "Take these up to the laundry room please."
"Mom," she called, having me look over at her. She was blank faced for a bit, but she soon smiled, "I hope to be as strong as you."
I stared at her, taking a couple seconds before saying, "I'm a coward... you should be saying that to Cassie."
~
Cassie was brushing out Jessika's hair as we watched an old show called Ginny and Georgia (remember, this is taking place in 2040). I was halfway asleep when Jakob spoke up, "I pity Ginny."
"Why?" Jessika asked, "She created all her own issues."
"Yes because she chose to be depressed, to face racism, and have a broken family," he rolled his eyes.
I glanced over to Cassie, but she just kept brushing. Jessika spoke up again, "But she did choose to cheat on her boyfriend, be with a guy who was in a relationship, treat her friends awfully - though her friends were also trash, be cruel to her loving mother while idolize a man who abandoned her, be racist to her own boyfriend, constantly act like she is a victim, and overall not take accountability for any of her actions."
"Jessika, she had a hard life growing up," Jakob said, "she moved around a lot, was abandoned by her dad, has a mom who lies a lot, a mom who cheats, and is incredibly alone."
"She's alone because she chose to be. She had a phone! She could have made friends and kept in touch but chose not to. She had a mom who literally does everything for her - supports her, fight for her, love her, protect her... I mean the woman even killed for her. Though her mom does all that, she still goes and idolizes a man that left her! So what the mom slept around and lied a lot? That's none of Ginny's business. What matters is if Georgia was a mom to her and Georgia was. Georgia never gave up on Ginny and did everything she could to keep her safe, but that wasn't enough for her," Jessika said, "and don't give me the 'her life was hard' bs. Everyone's life is hard at some point!"
"Not everyone deals with trauma the same way Jessika," he said, "you played sports, while I focused on academics."
"But did you hurt others because of your trauma?" She asked... Jakob didn't answer, "Exactly."
"What do you think mom?" Jakob asked, annoyed.
I sighed, "Ginny is an average fifteen, sixteen year old. Selfish, incapable of thinking outside of herself, and mad. Everyone goes through that stage."
"I don't remember cheating on someone," Jessika said.
"You've never dated," Jakob said, "so how do you know?"
"Okay, are you going to cheat on Genesis?" She asked.
Before I could interrupt and say no more, Cassie spoke up, "We should be empathic to Ginny's problems. We should acknowledge her struggles and understand why she acts the way she does... but we do not excuse her actions. Just because you have trauma doesn't give you permission or a free pass to hurt others. Cope anyway you see fit, but coping in a way that hurts you or others is inappropriate and wrong." Everyone sat quietly, just looking at Cassie. Jessika just stared at the floor. Cassie continued, "It's easy to cast stones at those who have done something wrong... it's also easy to pity those we think are less than us. Ginny is capable of being a good person and she is a good person... she's just done some bad things. Just because you've made a few bad decisions and done a few bad things doesn't mean you can't be a good person. People change. I'm nothing like my seventeen year old self. My seventeen self was selfish, awful, and vile... but that doesn't mean I hate her. I hate how I felt during those times but I do not hate my past self... for even though I did unspeakable things, that doesn't mean I was an awful person... I was lost and needed help. That's what Ginny is. She needs help but she can only get help when she finally acknowledges her wrongs and takes accountability."
Sitting back, I smiled, "I agree."
Cassie glanced over to me and we both knew what the other was thinking.
We did that ourselves.
End of The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... Chapter 92. Continue reading Chapter 93 or return to The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't... book page.