the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek - Chapter 14: Chapter 14
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Sleep didn't come easy to Y/N.
The flashes of her apparent accident haunted her almost every night. She wasn't even sure if they were just mere creations of her brain; for them to collide perfectly with Dohwa's dreams, for them to crawl into her realm of slumber and demolish her peace on a regular basis... she almost wondered if they were a warning of some sort.
Right now, as she looked over the expanse of the empty city from the abandoned building's rooftop, she was relieved that she had finally managed to gain some control over her nightmares. Lucid dreaming wasn't as easy as her mother claimed it to be, but when it did come to her, it was no less than a blessing bestowed by the heavens themselves.
Because lucid dreams meant meeting Dohwa. And she liked spending time with him.
She inhaled the night air, her shoulders sagging with relaxation. Her imaginary Seoul was soulless, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Y/N?"
There he is. The only other soul in her city.
"Loverboy. It's been a while."
This wasn't something they could do on command - to see each other, that is. Of course both of them had attempted to do that on more than one occasion, but their efforts were futile each time. It was more of a 'luck' thing, not a 'hard work' one, as bitter it was for them to admit that.
However, they were fortunate enough to experience it twice, despite it all. And those two evenings they spent together were sufficient to satiate their curiosity a little bit.
"A long while." Y/N continued, "I was starting to forget what you looked like."
"You were starting to forget your partner-in-crime's gorgeous appearance?"
"I thought you said we were friends... you truly wound me."
Who could have guessed that an accidental call would morph into an almost three-month-old friendship? Definitely not Y/N. She was very selective about her friend circle.
"I thought you died," Dohwa said with an amused smile, sitting next to her.
She felt his presence, savouring the tranquil glow it cast. It was a rare feat, after all, to hear his breathing and feel his warmth when their only means of connection was a telephone booth. It reminded her that Baek Dohwa was indeed a real person, albeit too far from her reach.
"What? Disappointed that I'm still kicking?"
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Anyway," His head turned to face her side profile, his gaze tracing every detail. "Why did you not call today? You made me get all worried for no reason, you know. Those nasty scenarios of you dejectedly reaching the inters-"
"Shut up." She cut him off, already fighting an annoyed grumble. "I didn't go to the academy, so no telephone booth for me."
"Why not?"
"Take a guess."
Dohwa pretended to think hard, his brows furrowed in mock concentration. "Hmm... another Seo Taiji and Boys album release? That's the only thing that can keep you from attending the academy."
"Do not test my patience."
"I'm serious!"
"It was my birthday, idiot." Y/N playfully elbowed his ribs, causing the blond to release a dramatic groan of pain. "I'm officially 17 now."
"We match!" Dohwa beamed, propping his knees up and resting his chin atop them. His stare turned momentarily gentle as he watched her mimic his vibrance. "Happy birthday, my artifact-from-ancient-civilisation."
"...Fuck you."
"I'm up for it."
He was met with a hard shove instead.
"Fine! Fine. No more poking fun. Tell me about your birthday gifts instead."
That was a topic Y/N could go on and on about. She began describing the cake Eunji made herself with a mini cat Dohwa on it, the limited edition dress Dokja ordered for her from a catalogue, and the giant narwhal plushie her father bought from the mall. Throughout the exchange, the grin never left the corners of her lips.
"Also.... between you and me," She lowered the tone of her voice, "Seojun's gift was my favourite."
Dohwa stiffened, his stance faltering considerably. "Seojun?"
"Mhm. He got me a huge box with the CDs of every song I've ever told him I liked, and a Walkman! Can you believe that?" Her enthusiasm multiplied tenfold as she narrated the specifics of the present to him.
The idol trainee grew uncharacteristically quiet. He didn't realise when he started frowning, or when a pang of something slashed through his chest. Something unnoticeable. Something that disappeared under his very nose without catching his attention.
"That's..." He tried to gather his coherence again, "That's really cool. I'm glad."
Y/N was confused by the sudden fall in his excitement, but chose not to comment on it. There were a lot of personal battles he fought against. Battles he didn't like sharing with anyone else, even her. She got up on her feet instead, gesturing for Dohwa to mirror her actions.
"Wanna go to the karaoke?" She asked, a taunting undertone following her question. "Might bring back some good memories. Like the confession letter you got."
He clicked his tongue. "Why the hell do you remember all the unnecessary things about me?"
"You should be flattered that I even listen to you."
"Yeah but... remembering that over my ethereal features? I'm gravely offended."
"Are you coming with me or not?" She breathed out, exasperated.
"Make m-"
Y/N grabbed his hand in a swift motion, causing his words to die in his throat. The boy could only blink at the series of events. He didn't realise when he started following her steps, when her palm wrapped itself protectively around his, when a blanket of goosebumps erupted from the base of his spine.
When the mindless grasp became a deliberate touch, their fingers interweaved in a perfect pattern.
Dohwa chuckled, a thin layer of fondness veiling the ending notes of his voice. "Ooh, someone's a bit restless to bask in my presence."
She came to an abrupt halt, dropping his hand as if it were a ticking time bomb. He immediately regretted his decision to make a sarcastic remark.
"I need that Eunhyeok guy here to bruise your ego."
"You filthy traitor! You're gonna leave me for that dude too?"
"I never wanted you in the first place."
"You..." He pointed an accusatory finger at her, "You will suffer the most agonising ache known to man one day for being so mean to such a sweet person like me "
The two were ambling aimlessly down the radio-silent roads, with only the hushed sounds of their squabble filling the quiet. Their argument dissipated as they reached the doorway of the karaoke spot Y/N had been praising for the last ten minutes.
With no one to stop them, no entry fees to pay and no restrictions whatsoever on which room they wanted to book, they barged into the most expensive section, curating a playlist with all the hits of the 90s. Dohwa didn't know the full lyrics of basically any song, but he had to settle with what he had. No TXT, no NewJeans, no Red Velvet, no IVE - just an array of Seo Taiji and Boys blinding his field of vision.
"Do you have a favourite?" He asked, stealing a glance at the screen.
"I know by you-know-who. I'm a very dedicated fangirl."
"Are you planning to go first?"
Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, lost in serious contemplation. "You can go first if you want."
"Then how about a duet?"
She snorted. "So we can create the worst harmony ever recorded in history?"
"Precisely. Plus!" He exclaimed, leaning down to give the mic to her in a gentlemanly way. "Think of it as a temporary birthday gift from my side."
"What's the permanent one, then?" She asked, a small smile clinging to the ends of her lips.
"Me, of course. I'm incredibly permanent."
In that brief moment, she forgot all about her tormenting nightmares, all about her summer break coming to an end, all about her recurring demise. Her irises, her thoughts, her focus - they were fixated on Dohwa.
"Such a lame gift. Boo."
"Wow. You broke my heart." He clutched at his chest, spiking his theatrics to an extreme. "Now as a punishment, I'll sing the first verse of I know, and you'll have to listen no matter how shitty I sound."
"I've never felt more scared in my life."
"You know you love me."
Y/N pretended to gag. "Far from it."
"Then you're tasteless. There's no one who doesn't love me."
"Su-ae."
Dohwa gasped. "I have moved on! Give me a break!"
"Doesn't change the fact that she doesn't love you."
"Well - you do. That's all that matters." He said with a nonchalant shrug, as if he hadn't pushed Y/N's buttons.
"You might have some serious delusion issues, blondie." She winced, diverting her attention to the bright screen ahead of them. "Let's start. And I'm plugging my ears the entire first verse because I value my hearing."
His shoulders shivered with mirth, inviting tiny crinkles around his eyes. A contagious melody reigned above the air; one that managed to drag Y/N along with it.
How much longer could she act like she didn't find him at least a little charming?
She realised soon after - her favourite song was Baek Dohwa's laughter.
The flashes of her apparent accident haunted her almost every night. She wasn't even sure if they were just mere creations of her brain; for them to collide perfectly with Dohwa's dreams, for them to crawl into her realm of slumber and demolish her peace on a regular basis... she almost wondered if they were a warning of some sort.
Right now, as she looked over the expanse of the empty city from the abandoned building's rooftop, she was relieved that she had finally managed to gain some control over her nightmares. Lucid dreaming wasn't as easy as her mother claimed it to be, but when it did come to her, it was no less than a blessing bestowed by the heavens themselves.
Because lucid dreams meant meeting Dohwa. And she liked spending time with him.
She inhaled the night air, her shoulders sagging with relaxation. Her imaginary Seoul was soulless, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Y/N?"
There he is. The only other soul in her city.
"Loverboy. It's been a while."
This wasn't something they could do on command - to see each other, that is. Of course both of them had attempted to do that on more than one occasion, but their efforts were futile each time. It was more of a 'luck' thing, not a 'hard work' one, as bitter it was for them to admit that.
However, they were fortunate enough to experience it twice, despite it all. And those two evenings they spent together were sufficient to satiate their curiosity a little bit.
"A long while." Y/N continued, "I was starting to forget what you looked like."
"You were starting to forget your partner-in-crime's gorgeous appearance?"
"I thought you said we were friends... you truly wound me."
Who could have guessed that an accidental call would morph into an almost three-month-old friendship? Definitely not Y/N. She was very selective about her friend circle.
"I thought you died," Dohwa said with an amused smile, sitting next to her.
She felt his presence, savouring the tranquil glow it cast. It was a rare feat, after all, to hear his breathing and feel his warmth when their only means of connection was a telephone booth. It reminded her that Baek Dohwa was indeed a real person, albeit too far from her reach.
"What? Disappointed that I'm still kicking?"
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Anyway," His head turned to face her side profile, his gaze tracing every detail. "Why did you not call today? You made me get all worried for no reason, you know. Those nasty scenarios of you dejectedly reaching the inters-"
"Shut up." She cut him off, already fighting an annoyed grumble. "I didn't go to the academy, so no telephone booth for me."
"Why not?"
"Take a guess."
Dohwa pretended to think hard, his brows furrowed in mock concentration. "Hmm... another Seo Taiji and Boys album release? That's the only thing that can keep you from attending the academy."
"Do not test my patience."
"I'm serious!"
"It was my birthday, idiot." Y/N playfully elbowed his ribs, causing the blond to release a dramatic groan of pain. "I'm officially 17 now."
"We match!" Dohwa beamed, propping his knees up and resting his chin atop them. His stare turned momentarily gentle as he watched her mimic his vibrance. "Happy birthday, my artifact-from-ancient-civilisation."
"...Fuck you."
"I'm up for it."
He was met with a hard shove instead.
"Fine! Fine. No more poking fun. Tell me about your birthday gifts instead."
That was a topic Y/N could go on and on about. She began describing the cake Eunji made herself with a mini cat Dohwa on it, the limited edition dress Dokja ordered for her from a catalogue, and the giant narwhal plushie her father bought from the mall. Throughout the exchange, the grin never left the corners of her lips.
"Also.... between you and me," She lowered the tone of her voice, "Seojun's gift was my favourite."
Dohwa stiffened, his stance faltering considerably. "Seojun?"
"Mhm. He got me a huge box with the CDs of every song I've ever told him I liked, and a Walkman! Can you believe that?" Her enthusiasm multiplied tenfold as she narrated the specifics of the present to him.
The idol trainee grew uncharacteristically quiet. He didn't realise when he started frowning, or when a pang of something slashed through his chest. Something unnoticeable. Something that disappeared under his very nose without catching his attention.
"That's..." He tried to gather his coherence again, "That's really cool. I'm glad."
Y/N was confused by the sudden fall in his excitement, but chose not to comment on it. There were a lot of personal battles he fought against. Battles he didn't like sharing with anyone else, even her. She got up on her feet instead, gesturing for Dohwa to mirror her actions.
"Wanna go to the karaoke?" She asked, a taunting undertone following her question. "Might bring back some good memories. Like the confession letter you got."
He clicked his tongue. "Why the hell do you remember all the unnecessary things about me?"
"You should be flattered that I even listen to you."
"Yeah but... remembering that over my ethereal features? I'm gravely offended."
"Are you coming with me or not?" She breathed out, exasperated.
"Make m-"
Y/N grabbed his hand in a swift motion, causing his words to die in his throat. The boy could only blink at the series of events. He didn't realise when he started following her steps, when her palm wrapped itself protectively around his, when a blanket of goosebumps erupted from the base of his spine.
When the mindless grasp became a deliberate touch, their fingers interweaved in a perfect pattern.
Dohwa chuckled, a thin layer of fondness veiling the ending notes of his voice. "Ooh, someone's a bit restless to bask in my presence."
She came to an abrupt halt, dropping his hand as if it were a ticking time bomb. He immediately regretted his decision to make a sarcastic remark.
"I need that Eunhyeok guy here to bruise your ego."
"You filthy traitor! You're gonna leave me for that dude too?"
"I never wanted you in the first place."
"You..." He pointed an accusatory finger at her, "You will suffer the most agonising ache known to man one day for being so mean to such a sweet person like me "
The two were ambling aimlessly down the radio-silent roads, with only the hushed sounds of their squabble filling the quiet. Their argument dissipated as they reached the doorway of the karaoke spot Y/N had been praising for the last ten minutes.
With no one to stop them, no entry fees to pay and no restrictions whatsoever on which room they wanted to book, they barged into the most expensive section, curating a playlist with all the hits of the 90s. Dohwa didn't know the full lyrics of basically any song, but he had to settle with what he had. No TXT, no NewJeans, no Red Velvet, no IVE - just an array of Seo Taiji and Boys blinding his field of vision.
"Do you have a favourite?" He asked, stealing a glance at the screen.
"I know by you-know-who. I'm a very dedicated fangirl."
"Are you planning to go first?"
Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, lost in serious contemplation. "You can go first if you want."
"Then how about a duet?"
She snorted. "So we can create the worst harmony ever recorded in history?"
"Precisely. Plus!" He exclaimed, leaning down to give the mic to her in a gentlemanly way. "Think of it as a temporary birthday gift from my side."
"What's the permanent one, then?" She asked, a small smile clinging to the ends of her lips.
"Me, of course. I'm incredibly permanent."
In that brief moment, she forgot all about her tormenting nightmares, all about her summer break coming to an end, all about her recurring demise. Her irises, her thoughts, her focus - they were fixated on Dohwa.
"Such a lame gift. Boo."
"Wow. You broke my heart." He clutched at his chest, spiking his theatrics to an extreme. "Now as a punishment, I'll sing the first verse of I know, and you'll have to listen no matter how shitty I sound."
"I've never felt more scared in my life."
"You know you love me."
Y/N pretended to gag. "Far from it."
"Then you're tasteless. There's no one who doesn't love me."
"Su-ae."
Dohwa gasped. "I have moved on! Give me a break!"
"Doesn't change the fact that she doesn't love you."
"Well - you do. That's all that matters." He said with a nonchalant shrug, as if he hadn't pushed Y/N's buttons.
"You might have some serious delusion issues, blondie." She winced, diverting her attention to the bright screen ahead of them. "Let's start. And I'm plugging my ears the entire first verse because I value my hearing."
His shoulders shivered with mirth, inviting tiny crinkles around his eyes. A contagious melody reigned above the air; one that managed to drag Y/N along with it.
How much longer could she act like she didn't find him at least a little charming?
She realised soon after - her favourite song was Baek Dohwa's laughter.
End of the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek Chapter 14. Continue reading Chapter 15 or return to the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek book page.