the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek - Chapter 22: Chapter 22
You are reading the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek, Chapter 22: Chapter 22. Read more chapters of the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek.
Dohwa woke up in a cold sweat at the crack of dawn.
The bed was as empty as it had always been, but his apartment felt... hollower, somehow. His tongue was still housing the words he couldn't say out loud; words that were cut short by his abrupt awakening, their weight paralysing him still. He said that he would endure anything just to be with Y/N in the heat of his desperation, however—now he wasn't so sure as to how he would be able to brave their separation every morning. She was right. This was indeed the better choice. To stay somewhere between more than friends and less than lovers.
His fingers tiptoed to grab the glass of water on his nightstand, his pupils dilating to observe the screen of his smartphone akin to an owl in the dark.
5.23 AM. Plenty of time to get ready for school.
Dohwa hardly cared about being punctual. Today might have been a rare occurrence of him being an early bird, which was welcome, of course, but he wouldn't have cared much if he ended up sleeping in. Decent grades were secondary to a seasoned trainee like him. He was pushing his heart to flourish the little bud of passion he had developed for his idol career––a newfound spark. A flare. He couldn't lose it.
Not like it was ever present initially, since it started with forceful coercion. He could only hope for it to finish with him embracing it.
The reason for that mildly positive––and rather negligible––change was the shift in his behaviour. That shift was a product of Y/N, Su-ae, and maybe Eunhyeok. And Y/N was the result of an accidental phone call that he happened to pick up on a random evening in June. He would not have realised that there were people who actually cared about him if it wasn't for her overly mature morale boosters. Truly one of the best candidates to belong in the 90s.
It was what one would term as the chain effect. Maybe it all began with her alone. Her voice which brimmed with vibrance when she spoke into the receiver. Their first encounter, in which she narrated her problems related to some guy named Kai, gushed about Seo Taiji and Boys, and cursed under her breath for forgetting to stop by the departmental store––how Dohwa managed to retain these details, he was unaware.
But she did not magically make him love who he was. No one could do that.
She only reminded him––that no matter how rocky the path was, someone was there to cheer him on, supporting him through the treacherous road. The thorns pricked him nonetheless, but they didn't hurt much when she was there to treat his wounds. Standing behind him, spewing something in that old, eloquent tongue of hers. She was his first fan, as she'd said, and perhaps...
Could he be bold enough to call her his first 'girlfriend'? Was a label really that necessary?
Subconsciously, he found himself tracing his thumb across the screen of his device, caressing the number of the telephone booth. He needed to update the contact name. Human Diary wasn't so fitting under the current circumstances.
Hmm...
He could go with Princess because of the discussion they had the night before, but without context, it simply sounded cheesy. Superficial too. No, it had to be something else. Something that matched her.
Dohwa was never good with such things. A waste of his charm.
The predicament bothered him endlessly, to the point that he couldn't even get ready without running into a few hitches. During the shower, while brushing his teeth, as he was slipping into his uniform, when he was fixing his hair––hell, he even spent ten whole minutes doodling cute names on his fogged bathroom mirror.
His walk to the school was also a means for him to think about this grave issue. If only he had gone through all that trouble for his academics... he would have easily topped the class.
"Dohwa."
A familiar voice. Unfortunately, it was not the one he wanted to hear.
"Ra-im." He greeted in a flat tone, not bothering to spare the girl a glance. "What's up?"
Ra-im scrunched up her nose at his sour attitude. She jogged to match Dohwa's pace, slowing only when the two were right next to each other. Her locks were tied together in a neat ponytail, as opposed to her usual hairstyle, but it suited her a lot more for some reason. Too bad her personality was rotten beyond repair.
"It wouldn't hurt you to treat me like a human being, you know."
"It actually would because you aren't one. I'm not a big fan of humanizing wild beasts."
She coughed. "Whew. That was a new one."
"Why are you following me, you stalker?" Dohwa narrowed his eyes, increasing the space between them with evident disgust.
"I'm no stalker!"
"Okay, then," He cleared his throat. "Why are you following me, you wild beast!"
Ra-im gasped at the loud volume of his voice, attempting to shush him by punching his arm. Much to her dismay, it didn't make him budge in the slightest. "You're awful. No wonder Su-ae is all over Eunhyeok instead."
"He's no Minu." Dohwa clicked his tongue with distaste. Never in his seventeen years of being alive did he think that he would be defending Eunhyeok, but... if there was anyone he despised more than him, it was Ra-im. "He's not going to fall for you if that's what you're aiming for. That guy cannot be stolen, y'know. He's head over heels for her. A lost cause."
And a loyal man, he wanted to add as a jab.
"...Why would I ever steal from her?" She scoffed. "It's not my fault that everything she loves comes crawling to me."
Dohwa made a face. Such monologues only suited fictional villains, not envious teenagers. "How pathetic. Living off of your sister's scraps like a raccoon... me personally, I would consider learning some self-love first."
"I did not come here to get a life lesson!" Ra-im groused, a pinch of red crawling up to her cheeks. "I just... saw you from afar and... and wanted to ask you something."
He paused.
"Spit it out immediately."
"Don't you feel jealous?"
"...Excuse me?"
"You love Su-ae, don't you?" She let the question marinate in the air for a brief moment. That didn't help to ease its impact. "She chose someone else over you... so don't you want to fight Eunhyeok for what's supposed to be yours?"
"I liked Su-ae, yes," He clarified. "But she's no object that I get to make mine. Eunhyeok was her choice, and Su-ae was his. And to be honest, it was for the better anyway."
Ra-im frowned. "How?"
Dohwa beamed at her, unsheathing the adorable dimples that tattooed his cheeks. The innocence of his expression almost caught Ra-im by surprise. That was so unlike him.
As he leaned down, sweeping his gaze across her visage––he stuck his tongue out.
Ah, there it is.
"You don't deserve to know, you wild beast."
"Hey!"
Su-ae's bangs fell askew when a gust of fresh autumn wind slapped against her skin. The strength of its current, the urgency in her greeting––they weren't enough to grasp the blond's attention. She poked Dohwa's back with her pen, twisting its end deep into the valleys of his built muscles, pushing the limits of the shirt's fabric.
He bit back a yelp at the sharp ache.
"Who––"
"Listen!" She hissed, barricading the dam of his curses with a single command. "You never updated me."
His initial anger subsided upon noticing her. Perplexed, he turned around with a quirked brow. "About what?"
"The origami cats, dummy. Did she like them?"
Oh. Right.
Truth be told, his gift was hardly the most memorable part of the dream he shared with Y/N. His brain couldn't recall much other than the curve of her lips, and the wandering of her eyes, and the warm touch he felt on his back when she was fixing his posture, and... her. He only remembered her.
Within a matter of seconds, he melted into his desk, his nose buried in the nest of his arms to hide the crimson dabbing his ears.
"...She liked them," He muttered. "But it wasn't sufficient according to my standards. Seojun's present was miles better."
Su-ae snorted at the exaggerated melancholy clinging to his countenance. "The name Seojun itself is giving the vibes of a second male lead. Your path is clear."
"She doesn't want him like that, I know. I just can't digest the fact that he won in this one little thing!" Dohwa complained, running a hand through his tousled tufts.
"Aww." She patted his shoulder. "You are like a puppy in love!"
Baek Dohwa had long sacrificed his cold exterior, and it was beginning to gnaw at him. He was not some huge, fluffy cotton candy drenched in a sea of sugar. He was supposed to be a flirtatious celebrity, nonchalant in everything he did––from breathing to walking. The plot had been lost for months now.
Affection.... was a dangerous phenomenon.
"I'm exhausted." He said, attempting to switch the lane of their conversation. "I woke up too early."
Su-ae inspected the thick capillaries in the whites of his eyes. "Up all night thinking of her?"
Up all night having a date with her.
"Since when did our roles get reversed? I'm the one who should be teasing anybody!"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying the golden retriever in you."
"My mouth is zipped." Dohwa made a gesture to seal his lips, hinting that he was done talking. Su-ae relented regardless of her reluctance.
They didn't realise when the teacher sauntered inside the class, when he started to give them a lecture on the rules of tenses, when the bell rang, loud and shrill, and when the day was marked as done according to their timetables. Hours slipped past the gaps between one's fingers when one was occupied by the thoughts of a certain someone.
Su-ae knew what was to come. His popularity among the students and teachers alike was no joke, and every minute of respite was spent on getting to know the class prince. She got up first, waving at him before whispering a weak goodbye, tailing closely after Eunhyeok.
He couldn't even reciprocate the act, for he was cornered by his friends who were eager for a thin slice of his momentary focus. Poor Dohwa had to cook up an excuse about his father passing out in the washroom just to escape the scene.
He loved making that man suffer from imaginary loose motions. Stay dehydrated, papa.
His limbs burned with aeons of fatigue, bones feeling nothing short of porous sponges. He had to go and meet his manager too––sleep seemed to be drifting further and further away from him. The shades of orange and red on the trees were adding fuel to the fire, igniting his desire to be cosy within the comforts of his bed.
And it was in that random split second that the perfect nickname for Y/N flashed across his mind.
He fished his phone out, furiously tapping against the tempered glass to open the contact list, halting only when the blinking cursor appeared in front of him.
Human Diary|
Human Dia|
Huma|
A giddy smile clung to the corners of his mouth as he typed the letters in.
Su|
Summ|
Summer|
Contact saved!
To the warm ray of sunshine that made the season bearable for him.
"I might be the smartest man on this planet."
Dohwa let out a faint giggle, then instantly looked around to make sure that nobody saw him, discreetly making his way to the bus stop. He couldn't be caught behaving like that...
It took him seven minutes to reach the stop every day, and whenever he did not have his earphones with him, the walk felt like a journey to the west. Seven minutes could be his forever, and seven minutes could be a blink of his eye, depending on what the situation was.
Baek Dohwa didn't know just how much he could lose in 420 seconds––until fate decided to teach him in the worst way imaginable.
The bed was as empty as it had always been, but his apartment felt... hollower, somehow. His tongue was still housing the words he couldn't say out loud; words that were cut short by his abrupt awakening, their weight paralysing him still. He said that he would endure anything just to be with Y/N in the heat of his desperation, however—now he wasn't so sure as to how he would be able to brave their separation every morning. She was right. This was indeed the better choice. To stay somewhere between more than friends and less than lovers.
His fingers tiptoed to grab the glass of water on his nightstand, his pupils dilating to observe the screen of his smartphone akin to an owl in the dark.
5.23 AM. Plenty of time to get ready for school.
Dohwa hardly cared about being punctual. Today might have been a rare occurrence of him being an early bird, which was welcome, of course, but he wouldn't have cared much if he ended up sleeping in. Decent grades were secondary to a seasoned trainee like him. He was pushing his heart to flourish the little bud of passion he had developed for his idol career––a newfound spark. A flare. He couldn't lose it.
Not like it was ever present initially, since it started with forceful coercion. He could only hope for it to finish with him embracing it.
The reason for that mildly positive––and rather negligible––change was the shift in his behaviour. That shift was a product of Y/N, Su-ae, and maybe Eunhyeok. And Y/N was the result of an accidental phone call that he happened to pick up on a random evening in June. He would not have realised that there were people who actually cared about him if it wasn't for her overly mature morale boosters. Truly one of the best candidates to belong in the 90s.
It was what one would term as the chain effect. Maybe it all began with her alone. Her voice which brimmed with vibrance when she spoke into the receiver. Their first encounter, in which she narrated her problems related to some guy named Kai, gushed about Seo Taiji and Boys, and cursed under her breath for forgetting to stop by the departmental store––how Dohwa managed to retain these details, he was unaware.
But she did not magically make him love who he was. No one could do that.
She only reminded him––that no matter how rocky the path was, someone was there to cheer him on, supporting him through the treacherous road. The thorns pricked him nonetheless, but they didn't hurt much when she was there to treat his wounds. Standing behind him, spewing something in that old, eloquent tongue of hers. She was his first fan, as she'd said, and perhaps...
Could he be bold enough to call her his first 'girlfriend'? Was a label really that necessary?
Subconsciously, he found himself tracing his thumb across the screen of his device, caressing the number of the telephone booth. He needed to update the contact name. Human Diary wasn't so fitting under the current circumstances.
Hmm...
He could go with Princess because of the discussion they had the night before, but without context, it simply sounded cheesy. Superficial too. No, it had to be something else. Something that matched her.
Dohwa was never good with such things. A waste of his charm.
The predicament bothered him endlessly, to the point that he couldn't even get ready without running into a few hitches. During the shower, while brushing his teeth, as he was slipping into his uniform, when he was fixing his hair––hell, he even spent ten whole minutes doodling cute names on his fogged bathroom mirror.
His walk to the school was also a means for him to think about this grave issue. If only he had gone through all that trouble for his academics... he would have easily topped the class.
"Dohwa."
A familiar voice. Unfortunately, it was not the one he wanted to hear.
"Ra-im." He greeted in a flat tone, not bothering to spare the girl a glance. "What's up?"
Ra-im scrunched up her nose at his sour attitude. She jogged to match Dohwa's pace, slowing only when the two were right next to each other. Her locks were tied together in a neat ponytail, as opposed to her usual hairstyle, but it suited her a lot more for some reason. Too bad her personality was rotten beyond repair.
"It wouldn't hurt you to treat me like a human being, you know."
"It actually would because you aren't one. I'm not a big fan of humanizing wild beasts."
She coughed. "Whew. That was a new one."
"Why are you following me, you stalker?" Dohwa narrowed his eyes, increasing the space between them with evident disgust.
"I'm no stalker!"
"Okay, then," He cleared his throat. "Why are you following me, you wild beast!"
Ra-im gasped at the loud volume of his voice, attempting to shush him by punching his arm. Much to her dismay, it didn't make him budge in the slightest. "You're awful. No wonder Su-ae is all over Eunhyeok instead."
"He's no Minu." Dohwa clicked his tongue with distaste. Never in his seventeen years of being alive did he think that he would be defending Eunhyeok, but... if there was anyone he despised more than him, it was Ra-im. "He's not going to fall for you if that's what you're aiming for. That guy cannot be stolen, y'know. He's head over heels for her. A lost cause."
And a loyal man, he wanted to add as a jab.
"...Why would I ever steal from her?" She scoffed. "It's not my fault that everything she loves comes crawling to me."
Dohwa made a face. Such monologues only suited fictional villains, not envious teenagers. "How pathetic. Living off of your sister's scraps like a raccoon... me personally, I would consider learning some self-love first."
"I did not come here to get a life lesson!" Ra-im groused, a pinch of red crawling up to her cheeks. "I just... saw you from afar and... and wanted to ask you something."
He paused.
"Spit it out immediately."
"Don't you feel jealous?"
"...Excuse me?"
"You love Su-ae, don't you?" She let the question marinate in the air for a brief moment. That didn't help to ease its impact. "She chose someone else over you... so don't you want to fight Eunhyeok for what's supposed to be yours?"
"I liked Su-ae, yes," He clarified. "But she's no object that I get to make mine. Eunhyeok was her choice, and Su-ae was his. And to be honest, it was for the better anyway."
Ra-im frowned. "How?"
Dohwa beamed at her, unsheathing the adorable dimples that tattooed his cheeks. The innocence of his expression almost caught Ra-im by surprise. That was so unlike him.
As he leaned down, sweeping his gaze across her visage––he stuck his tongue out.
Ah, there it is.
"You don't deserve to know, you wild beast."
"Hey!"
Su-ae's bangs fell askew when a gust of fresh autumn wind slapped against her skin. The strength of its current, the urgency in her greeting––they weren't enough to grasp the blond's attention. She poked Dohwa's back with her pen, twisting its end deep into the valleys of his built muscles, pushing the limits of the shirt's fabric.
He bit back a yelp at the sharp ache.
"Who––"
"Listen!" She hissed, barricading the dam of his curses with a single command. "You never updated me."
His initial anger subsided upon noticing her. Perplexed, he turned around with a quirked brow. "About what?"
"The origami cats, dummy. Did she like them?"
Oh. Right.
Truth be told, his gift was hardly the most memorable part of the dream he shared with Y/N. His brain couldn't recall much other than the curve of her lips, and the wandering of her eyes, and the warm touch he felt on his back when she was fixing his posture, and... her. He only remembered her.
Within a matter of seconds, he melted into his desk, his nose buried in the nest of his arms to hide the crimson dabbing his ears.
"...She liked them," He muttered. "But it wasn't sufficient according to my standards. Seojun's present was miles better."
Su-ae snorted at the exaggerated melancholy clinging to his countenance. "The name Seojun itself is giving the vibes of a second male lead. Your path is clear."
"She doesn't want him like that, I know. I just can't digest the fact that he won in this one little thing!" Dohwa complained, running a hand through his tousled tufts.
"Aww." She patted his shoulder. "You are like a puppy in love!"
Baek Dohwa had long sacrificed his cold exterior, and it was beginning to gnaw at him. He was not some huge, fluffy cotton candy drenched in a sea of sugar. He was supposed to be a flirtatious celebrity, nonchalant in everything he did––from breathing to walking. The plot had been lost for months now.
Affection.... was a dangerous phenomenon.
"I'm exhausted." He said, attempting to switch the lane of their conversation. "I woke up too early."
Su-ae inspected the thick capillaries in the whites of his eyes. "Up all night thinking of her?"
Up all night having a date with her.
"Since when did our roles get reversed? I'm the one who should be teasing anybody!"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying the golden retriever in you."
"My mouth is zipped." Dohwa made a gesture to seal his lips, hinting that he was done talking. Su-ae relented regardless of her reluctance.
They didn't realise when the teacher sauntered inside the class, when he started to give them a lecture on the rules of tenses, when the bell rang, loud and shrill, and when the day was marked as done according to their timetables. Hours slipped past the gaps between one's fingers when one was occupied by the thoughts of a certain someone.
Su-ae knew what was to come. His popularity among the students and teachers alike was no joke, and every minute of respite was spent on getting to know the class prince. She got up first, waving at him before whispering a weak goodbye, tailing closely after Eunhyeok.
He couldn't even reciprocate the act, for he was cornered by his friends who were eager for a thin slice of his momentary focus. Poor Dohwa had to cook up an excuse about his father passing out in the washroom just to escape the scene.
He loved making that man suffer from imaginary loose motions. Stay dehydrated, papa.
His limbs burned with aeons of fatigue, bones feeling nothing short of porous sponges. He had to go and meet his manager too––sleep seemed to be drifting further and further away from him. The shades of orange and red on the trees were adding fuel to the fire, igniting his desire to be cosy within the comforts of his bed.
And it was in that random split second that the perfect nickname for Y/N flashed across his mind.
He fished his phone out, furiously tapping against the tempered glass to open the contact list, halting only when the blinking cursor appeared in front of him.
Human Diary|
Human Dia|
Huma|
A giddy smile clung to the corners of his mouth as he typed the letters in.
Su|
Summ|
Summer|
Contact saved!
To the warm ray of sunshine that made the season bearable for him.
"I might be the smartest man on this planet."
Dohwa let out a faint giggle, then instantly looked around to make sure that nobody saw him, discreetly making his way to the bus stop. He couldn't be caught behaving like that...
It took him seven minutes to reach the stop every day, and whenever he did not have his earphones with him, the walk felt like a journey to the west. Seven minutes could be his forever, and seven minutes could be a blink of his eye, depending on what the situation was.
Baek Dohwa didn't know just how much he could lose in 420 seconds––until fate decided to teach him in the worst way imaginable.
End of the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek Chapter 22. View all chapters or return to the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek book page.