the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek - Chapter 9: Chapter 9
You are reading the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek, Chapter 9: Chapter 9. Read more chapters of the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek.
He got swarmed by hundreds of people whenever he went out, but he was the loneliest he had ever been. He was giving his training everything he had, but he was far from being the best. He was glueing together the shards of the broken relationship he had with his father, but it came crashing down every goddamned time they met.
And how funny it was, that the only person he could be honest about his feelings with was a complete stranger he talked to on his phone.
The irony of it all.
Releasing an irritated scoff, he dabbed the purple bruise on his cheek with the medicine he had to buy with his lunch money. That was one more expense added to his list of worries.
"That old man..." He groused, throwing away the foiled cotton ball.
It was the fourth day of his skipping training. Fourth day of his avoiding his friends who were begging him to hang out. Su-ae. And Eunhyeok, even.
Summer break was no period of rest for him. It was a month of pure, unimaginable torture that he couldn't seek refuge from by going to school.
Dohwa slumped down into the only chair he had in his barely decorated room, with tufts of blond bangs curtaining either of his cheeks.
When will she call?
Now that he had absolutely nothing to do, he found himself counting down the minutes to 9 PM every single day, eager to see the same name flash across the screen of his device.
Y/N.
Never in his life had he opened up to anybody about his father the way he did with her. His usual reaction after a deep, accidental heart-to-heart with anyone was to avoid the person due to the strange bubble of embarrassment that manifested itself within his chest whenever he became vulnerable.
Strangely enough, after spilling his absolute guts out to Y/N, he wanted to talk to her even more.
His immediate thought was - she's not pitying me.
Perhaps what he truly needed was a distraction, not fake concern.
A small smile clung to the cupid's bow of his lips. Whether intentionally or not, the girl had made the worst part of his year slightly better.
Worst, why?
Because Baek Dohwa hated vacations.
School was a nice means for him to pass the time. To sneak a glance at pretty girls here and there. To annoy Su-ae and pick on Eunhyeok at every given opportunity.
To not think about the pressure his manager was putting him under.
Just when his mood was about to deteriorate further, his phone buzzed on the table, and his gaze instantly darted to the worn-out clock pathetically hanging down the sour cream wall. The hand was pointing to 9, much to his relief.
With a subtle bounce in his step, he picked up the call.
"You're talking to the gorgeous, out of your league, Baek D-"
"Dohwa!" Y/N squealed from the other end, catching the boy off-guard. She was never the one to be so enthusiastic about things. "You're not going to believe this!"
"...Oh? Happy today, are we?"
"Very! My friends and I went to the beach, and guess what?"
"What?" He asked, amused as he fed into her enthusiasm.
"We saw Seo Taiji and Boys shooting for a music video! Can you imagine that? They were in the flesh, real and breathing, right in front of our eyes-" She paused to catch her breath, "You get what I mean. This was the best day of my life."
Dohwa was initially entertained, though, as her words started to sink in, his brows knitted together in confusion.
"...Y/N. Seo Taiji and Boys have disbanded years ago. They can't possibly be shooting for any music video."
"What are you talking about? Eunji and I just saw them! The crowd around them was huge but they were very much still together!" She brushed his perplexity off with yet another excited explanation.
He hummed. "Maybe those were some of their die-hard fans? Or they could have reunited for something. I'm not sure."
"I really don't understand what stupid stuff you keep talking about." Y/N chuckled, and the sound of that made Dohwa forget about everything else.
Well, everything else except for her health, which he had been fretting over ever since she told him about how agonisingly strict her family was.
"Sleeping well lately?"
The ending notes of her little laugh levitated in the air as she heaved out a long-suffering sigh. "Suspiciously well. No nightmares."
An abrupt beat of silence extended between the two before she spoke again.
"...Wait. Are you worried about me? What strange development am I seeing here?"
"I was just making small talk!" Dohwa refuted her claim in an instant, a soft blush crawling up to his cheeks. Boy, was he glad that she wasn't in front of him. "You're such a weirdo."
"And here you are, talking to this weirdo."
"Because you're tolerable, I suppose."
He could practically hear the grin on her face. "I'm taking it as a huge compliment, loverboy."
"Stop with the loverboy already. I am a changed man now."
"Yeah, yeah. No longer hung up on a crush because she has chosen your arch nemesis instead."
"...No need to rub salt in my wounds."
"Ah, speaking of wounds," Y/N exclaimed, "How are your wounds doing? Got any better?"
"Oooh, are you worried about me?" Dohwa mimicked her earlier teasing with a high-pitched tone, earning an infuriated groan from her.
"I hope they get worse. Genuinely."
"You're such a hater."
"Only for you."
"Woah, I actually giggled for a second there thinking you were flirting with me."
Y/N snorted ungracefully. "The attention you receive from your fans is getting to your head."
"I don't want their attention." He replied, almost biting his tongue when he realised how ungrateful that made him sound.
Of course, he totally didn't care what she thought of him. But building his goodwill was a part of his job, was it not?
"I... I mean... I don't want attention in general." Dohwa corrected himself, hoping that this response was at least a bit more considerate than the last one.
"I figured that much."
"Huh?"
"That you're a paradox. You want the applause, yet dislike the attention. And I have a feeling that despite your hatred for the latter, you still crave it."
Her words almost made him break into a coughing fit. The entirety of his body itched to play it cool and slide in another playful remark to piss Y/N off.
He couldn't bring himself to, because she was right.
"Uh..." He trailed off, his heart thrumming wildly against his ribcage. He could swear that its beats resonated within the room, bouncing off the corners and then back into his ears. "Good... good analogy you've got there! Haha..."
"What can I say? I like reading people."
And then, tranquility.
She yawned, the quiet in the conversation now floating with her soft breaths. Goosebumps rose over his body at the tenderness of it all. At the normalcy of their interactions. Of how close she seemed, and somehow, so out of his reach.
He choked on air as the thoughts ran rampant inside his head. Unfortunately, his mouth worked faster than his brain.
"It's almost like you're right next to me."
"...What?"
Shit, he mentally cursed himself, I ruined it.
"What? I meant the awkwardness." Dohwa forced out a snicker. "It's so obvious that it feels like you're in the same space as me."
"Awkwardness? I have got a degree in it. I know damn well when the atmosphere is awkward." Y/N stated with evident distaste. "You say questionable things sometimes, really."
He wasn't so sure if the excuse he gave her was more questionable than the actual thought. It could be that he wasn't used to conversing, much less on the phone. It could be that he had no understanding of intimacy. It could be that he was simply stupid.
Still, he felt like he was close to her. Or she was close to him, in a way he couldn't quite decipher - because this was a fresh emotion he hadn't experienced before. He had made friends. He had fallen in love. He had loathed people. He had undergone unimaginable pain. Fear. Yet, none of those options fit right in the jigsaw puzzle that was Y/N.
Dohwa hugged his legs as he sat near the window, his chin propped up against his knees. His eyes travelled their way to the silver crescent that was peeking down at him from the abyss of blues.
And then he smiled.
"The grandma in you is escaping again. Get her ass."
She released an offended gasp. "You know what? Eat shit. I hope Eunhyeok goes for your nose this time."
"Hey! Stop wishing physical harm upon my delicate soul!" He placed a hand on his chest dramatically. "By Eunhyeok at that! You despicable creature."
"I can see why he's the better choice."
"What the hell are you implying here!"
Y/N tutted. "You're such a crybaby at your big age."
"What's up with your love life, huh?" Dohwa pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "The last time I checked, it was in complete shambles."
"In my case, I was the one friend-zoning the person, not the other way around. I'm doing great. Unlike someone I know."
"Die."
"Such devotion and love you've got for me, Dohwa. I'm truly flattered."
"Die painfully." He said with more diction, fueling her mirth to the point where she had to inch away from the receiver. He could hear the broken chunks of air through the speaker while she attempted to contain herself.
The world was an unjust place.
"Your idol life will end before it begins because you've got the patience of a football."
Another expression of exasperation overtook his features. "If I'm a football, then you're definitely a striker kicking me around whenever you get the chance to. Goodbye."
"That's a first! It was always me trying to get rid of you."
"You wanted to get rid of me?" Dohwa exclaimed with feigned hurt. "Partner, you're absolutely crushing my ego under a hydraulic pump here."
"You still had some ego left after your unfortunate instances with Su-ae and her boyfriend?"
"Low blow, Y/N, low blow."
The injuries on his face didn't quite make him wince. Maybe, he just didn't care if they stung anymore. His musings were blanketed by fibres of delight; he was happy.
Yes, the argument he had with his father blew out of proportion. Yes, he hated him. Yes, he wanted nothing more than to break down. Yes, he was in a foul mood for days.
Yet somehow a part of him continued to love that man. His brain was trapped in a dilemma.
Though, none of that could really penetrate the castle of joy he had built with the small moments he cherished.
Being a trainee was a hard feat, but being a son was harder.
And how funny it was, that the only person he could be honest about his feelings with was a complete stranger he talked to on his phone.
The irony of it all.
Releasing an irritated scoff, he dabbed the purple bruise on his cheek with the medicine he had to buy with his lunch money. That was one more expense added to his list of worries.
"That old man..." He groused, throwing away the foiled cotton ball.
It was the fourth day of his skipping training. Fourth day of his avoiding his friends who were begging him to hang out. Su-ae. And Eunhyeok, even.
Summer break was no period of rest for him. It was a month of pure, unimaginable torture that he couldn't seek refuge from by going to school.
Dohwa slumped down into the only chair he had in his barely decorated room, with tufts of blond bangs curtaining either of his cheeks.
When will she call?
Now that he had absolutely nothing to do, he found himself counting down the minutes to 9 PM every single day, eager to see the same name flash across the screen of his device.
Y/N.
Never in his life had he opened up to anybody about his father the way he did with her. His usual reaction after a deep, accidental heart-to-heart with anyone was to avoid the person due to the strange bubble of embarrassment that manifested itself within his chest whenever he became vulnerable.
Strangely enough, after spilling his absolute guts out to Y/N, he wanted to talk to her even more.
His immediate thought was - she's not pitying me.
Perhaps what he truly needed was a distraction, not fake concern.
A small smile clung to the cupid's bow of his lips. Whether intentionally or not, the girl had made the worst part of his year slightly better.
Worst, why?
Because Baek Dohwa hated vacations.
School was a nice means for him to pass the time. To sneak a glance at pretty girls here and there. To annoy Su-ae and pick on Eunhyeok at every given opportunity.
To not think about the pressure his manager was putting him under.
Just when his mood was about to deteriorate further, his phone buzzed on the table, and his gaze instantly darted to the worn-out clock pathetically hanging down the sour cream wall. The hand was pointing to 9, much to his relief.
With a subtle bounce in his step, he picked up the call.
"You're talking to the gorgeous, out of your league, Baek D-"
"Dohwa!" Y/N squealed from the other end, catching the boy off-guard. She was never the one to be so enthusiastic about things. "You're not going to believe this!"
"...Oh? Happy today, are we?"
"Very! My friends and I went to the beach, and guess what?"
"What?" He asked, amused as he fed into her enthusiasm.
"We saw Seo Taiji and Boys shooting for a music video! Can you imagine that? They were in the flesh, real and breathing, right in front of our eyes-" She paused to catch her breath, "You get what I mean. This was the best day of my life."
Dohwa was initially entertained, though, as her words started to sink in, his brows knitted together in confusion.
"...Y/N. Seo Taiji and Boys have disbanded years ago. They can't possibly be shooting for any music video."
"What are you talking about? Eunji and I just saw them! The crowd around them was huge but they were very much still together!" She brushed his perplexity off with yet another excited explanation.
He hummed. "Maybe those were some of their die-hard fans? Or they could have reunited for something. I'm not sure."
"I really don't understand what stupid stuff you keep talking about." Y/N chuckled, and the sound of that made Dohwa forget about everything else.
Well, everything else except for her health, which he had been fretting over ever since she told him about how agonisingly strict her family was.
"Sleeping well lately?"
The ending notes of her little laugh levitated in the air as she heaved out a long-suffering sigh. "Suspiciously well. No nightmares."
An abrupt beat of silence extended between the two before she spoke again.
"...Wait. Are you worried about me? What strange development am I seeing here?"
"I was just making small talk!" Dohwa refuted her claim in an instant, a soft blush crawling up to his cheeks. Boy, was he glad that she wasn't in front of him. "You're such a weirdo."
"And here you are, talking to this weirdo."
"Because you're tolerable, I suppose."
He could practically hear the grin on her face. "I'm taking it as a huge compliment, loverboy."
"Stop with the loverboy already. I am a changed man now."
"Yeah, yeah. No longer hung up on a crush because she has chosen your arch nemesis instead."
"...No need to rub salt in my wounds."
"Ah, speaking of wounds," Y/N exclaimed, "How are your wounds doing? Got any better?"
"Oooh, are you worried about me?" Dohwa mimicked her earlier teasing with a high-pitched tone, earning an infuriated groan from her.
"I hope they get worse. Genuinely."
"You're such a hater."
"Only for you."
"Woah, I actually giggled for a second there thinking you were flirting with me."
Y/N snorted ungracefully. "The attention you receive from your fans is getting to your head."
"I don't want their attention." He replied, almost biting his tongue when he realised how ungrateful that made him sound.
Of course, he totally didn't care what she thought of him. But building his goodwill was a part of his job, was it not?
"I... I mean... I don't want attention in general." Dohwa corrected himself, hoping that this response was at least a bit more considerate than the last one.
"I figured that much."
"Huh?"
"That you're a paradox. You want the applause, yet dislike the attention. And I have a feeling that despite your hatred for the latter, you still crave it."
Her words almost made him break into a coughing fit. The entirety of his body itched to play it cool and slide in another playful remark to piss Y/N off.
He couldn't bring himself to, because she was right.
"Uh..." He trailed off, his heart thrumming wildly against his ribcage. He could swear that its beats resonated within the room, bouncing off the corners and then back into his ears. "Good... good analogy you've got there! Haha..."
"What can I say? I like reading people."
And then, tranquility.
She yawned, the quiet in the conversation now floating with her soft breaths. Goosebumps rose over his body at the tenderness of it all. At the normalcy of their interactions. Of how close she seemed, and somehow, so out of his reach.
He choked on air as the thoughts ran rampant inside his head. Unfortunately, his mouth worked faster than his brain.
"It's almost like you're right next to me."
"...What?"
Shit, he mentally cursed himself, I ruined it.
"What? I meant the awkwardness." Dohwa forced out a snicker. "It's so obvious that it feels like you're in the same space as me."
"Awkwardness? I have got a degree in it. I know damn well when the atmosphere is awkward." Y/N stated with evident distaste. "You say questionable things sometimes, really."
He wasn't so sure if the excuse he gave her was more questionable than the actual thought. It could be that he wasn't used to conversing, much less on the phone. It could be that he had no understanding of intimacy. It could be that he was simply stupid.
Still, he felt like he was close to her. Or she was close to him, in a way he couldn't quite decipher - because this was a fresh emotion he hadn't experienced before. He had made friends. He had fallen in love. He had loathed people. He had undergone unimaginable pain. Fear. Yet, none of those options fit right in the jigsaw puzzle that was Y/N.
Dohwa hugged his legs as he sat near the window, his chin propped up against his knees. His eyes travelled their way to the silver crescent that was peeking down at him from the abyss of blues.
And then he smiled.
"The grandma in you is escaping again. Get her ass."
She released an offended gasp. "You know what? Eat shit. I hope Eunhyeok goes for your nose this time."
"Hey! Stop wishing physical harm upon my delicate soul!" He placed a hand on his chest dramatically. "By Eunhyeok at that! You despicable creature."
"I can see why he's the better choice."
"What the hell are you implying here!"
Y/N tutted. "You're such a crybaby at your big age."
"What's up with your love life, huh?" Dohwa pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "The last time I checked, it was in complete shambles."
"In my case, I was the one friend-zoning the person, not the other way around. I'm doing great. Unlike someone I know."
"Die."
"Such devotion and love you've got for me, Dohwa. I'm truly flattered."
"Die painfully." He said with more diction, fueling her mirth to the point where she had to inch away from the receiver. He could hear the broken chunks of air through the speaker while she attempted to contain herself.
The world was an unjust place.
"Your idol life will end before it begins because you've got the patience of a football."
Another expression of exasperation overtook his features. "If I'm a football, then you're definitely a striker kicking me around whenever you get the chance to. Goodbye."
"That's a first! It was always me trying to get rid of you."
"You wanted to get rid of me?" Dohwa exclaimed with feigned hurt. "Partner, you're absolutely crushing my ego under a hydraulic pump here."
"You still had some ego left after your unfortunate instances with Su-ae and her boyfriend?"
"Low blow, Y/N, low blow."
The injuries on his face didn't quite make him wince. Maybe, he just didn't care if they stung anymore. His musings were blanketed by fibres of delight; he was happy.
Yes, the argument he had with his father blew out of proportion. Yes, he hated him. Yes, he wanted nothing more than to break down. Yes, he was in a foul mood for days.
Yet somehow a part of him continued to love that man. His brain was trapped in a dilemma.
Though, none of that could really penetrate the castle of joy he had built with the small moments he cherished.
Being a trainee was a hard feat, but being a son was harder.
End of the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek Chapter 9. Continue reading Chapter 10 or return to the summer of 1993 ── dohwa baek book page.