This Is Us - Chapter 12: Chapter 12
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LUCA POV
The glittering sunlight awakens me with a warm and pleasant greeting as I open my eyes from a good nights sleep in Jayde's fort. I yawned and sat up, stretching as I did so with my hands touching the top sheet of the tent. I drag my hands along the soft sheet before bringing them down to my sides where they were met with something wet.
Surprised by the moist feeling, I cast my gaze back down to the mattress surrounding me and scream.
My hands were resting in a pool of crimson blood, created by the dead massacred bodies laying next to me. Flies filled the room and my nose was assaulted by the putrid stench of death as I jumped back, closing my eyes and squeezing them tight before opening them again, only to find the same scene before me.
I wouldn't have looked at the bodies had it not been for the familiar strands of dark red hair that caught my eye and I saw her.
My daughter's lifeless body no longer moved and wiggled about but lay still on Matthias and Thomas' laps.
All of their throats were slit with such a thick slice that I instantly turned over, feeling my stomach lurch as I got up and ran out of her bedroom door.
"No, no, no it's just a dream Luca, it's just a dream," I muttered under my breath but the smell said otherwise and every time I looked back it was the same scene.
"Weeesssleeey,"
His voice struck a cold dead fear into my heart and I turned to see George Michael Anderson was now in my daughter's room, standing in front of the fort with his large fingers intertwined.
Now the smell shifted to his expensive cologne which I had been forced to smell a million nights in a row. I gulped and turned, quickly picking myself up and running down the hallway of the farmhouse.
Turning down the stairs with too much speed, I fell before I could take a single step. Tumbling down the stairs I fell to the first landing where George was soon on top of me. His hand tightened around my throat so I couldn't scream for help and I tried to reach up, scratching his arms with my long nails but he was unaffected. His cold glare staring into my eyes as I heard the familiar zipper and cried.
"Tsk tsk, WeSlEy, YoU'vE bEeN a BaD bOy AgAiN, yOu KnOw WhAt ThAt MeAnS,"
His voice came out mangled and broken and the bullet hole in the dead center of his forehead dripped the liquid substance onto my face. Seeing the hole I created made it all the better as a smile spread across my face.
"You're dead, I killed you myself,"
I gasped for air as I sat up and hit the sheets of the fort. The Christmas lights casting a bright glow in the fort as I looked around and found Jaydean, Thomas, Matthias, and Houston all fast asleep beside me.
I watch their chests move up and down, even feeling Jayde's neck for her strong heartbeat before quietly slipping out of the fort and running to the bathroom at the end of the hall. Throwing up all the contents of my stomach until it was just burning bile mixed with dry heaving. My nerves shot and my heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour.
"It was just a dream,"
I told myself as I leaned back against the tub. Tilting my head up as the tears ran down my face and watching the ceiling until my neck strained and I dropped it down to my chest. I slowly got back on my feet, grabbing the sink basin to help me. But I wasn't strong enough and I slipped, falling back and hitting my forehead against the side of the tub.
"Fuck," I whispered as tears of pain now slipped from my eyes. The burning in my eyes was always my greatest weakness.
I reached up, feeling the wet bump on my forehead where I split skin and pulling my fingers back to see the blood on my fingertips.
The blood sent a new wave of images through my brain and I curled up in a ball, wanting it to stop.
Standing in the empty abandoned subway station as the tubes ran their course between us, I wrapped my fingers around his gun and shot him to protect Matthias and Jaydean and Thomas as well.
I shot him and I killed him without mercy because he never showed me mercy.
And I knew he wouldn't show my family mercy when he found out they were the ones who took his precious pet, Wesley.
The look on George's face as he fell to the floor fills my head. I wanted to scream, but I didn't want to wake the rest of my family. I looked around the bathroom, searching and hunting until I found something sharp and sat on the bathroom floor again, taking the object and making one sharp cut on the side of my wrist.
The pain floods my body and distracts my brain, ending the PTSD episode and bringing me back to reality.
And the reality was I am home, I am safe, I am alive, I am loved.
"I am home, I am safe, I am alive, I am loved," I repeated out loud and dropped the sharp object to the floor letting out a long sigh of release.
A bright yellowish glow from the rising sun started to fill the bathroom which told me it was about six in the morning. A small pool of blood droplets now stained the floor and I quickly grabbed a bunch of paper towels to pick it up before anyone saw it, hiding it in the garbage while also wiping the cut on my wrist and holding pressure to stop the bleeding.
As I stood up, I looked in the mirror and found the cut on my forehead. It didn't look like it needed stitches or anything so I'll be fine. However, my pale face was a different concern. The dark bags under my eyes now stood out more than before and my light blue eyes seem to have lost their shine.
A small knock on the door nearly scares the shit out of me and I leaped to my feet.
"Hello? Is someone in there?"
Jaydean's voice filled the room and the world felt a little less empty as she spoke.
"Hey baby girl," I sighed as I quickly opened the door and picked her tired little body up, pressing her head into my shoulder before she could see how messed up her father was.
"Good morning to you too papa," She yawned and kissed my cheek. I took her back into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub, holding her so close.
"Papa, you're hugging me too tight. You're gonna suffocate me," She whined and I forced my body to let up a little bit.
"I love you Jaydean," I sighed and she giggled a little.
"I love you too papa! Oh no, papa! You're hurt!" She gasped and held my cheeks in the palms of her tiny hands.
"I know what will fix this!" She said and got off my lap to go into the bathroom closet, pulling out a small box of her favorite star wars band-aids. Getting to work on covering my face in a series of BB-8's and R2D2'. While she worked on my face I stole two of them, peeking over her shoulder so I could cover my wrist.
After she finished, she kissed the top of my bandaids and smiles.
"There you go Papa, do you feel better now?" She asked and I smiled back, giving her an appreciative nod.
"Yeah baby, I feel a lot better now, thank you," I commented and she put her hands up with pure innocent happiness.
"Yay! I love making other people feel better. Mommy says I get that from you," She giggles, her messy red hair bobbing along with her and I pulled her close to me again so I could hug her.
"You're a little angel, you know that? I don't know what I would do without you," I sighed. Jayde nuzzled her head under my chin, pressing her ear to my chest so she could hear my heartbeat.
"I dunno what you would do either, I'm pretty awesome," She says and I laughed out loud, kissing the top of her head before hearing her tummy grumble.
"Are you hungry sweetheart? Do you want to help me make breakfast?" I asked and she quickly got off my lap with a sharp nod.
"Yes daddy, but I have to pee first. That's what I came here to do but you distracted me so get out," She said politely and I did so, deciding I'd meet her in the kitchen.
The glittering sunlight awakens me with a warm and pleasant greeting as I open my eyes from a good nights sleep in Jayde's fort. I yawned and sat up, stretching as I did so with my hands touching the top sheet of the tent. I drag my hands along the soft sheet before bringing them down to my sides where they were met with something wet.
Surprised by the moist feeling, I cast my gaze back down to the mattress surrounding me and scream.
My hands were resting in a pool of crimson blood, created by the dead massacred bodies laying next to me. Flies filled the room and my nose was assaulted by the putrid stench of death as I jumped back, closing my eyes and squeezing them tight before opening them again, only to find the same scene before me.
I wouldn't have looked at the bodies had it not been for the familiar strands of dark red hair that caught my eye and I saw her.
My daughter's lifeless body no longer moved and wiggled about but lay still on Matthias and Thomas' laps.
All of their throats were slit with such a thick slice that I instantly turned over, feeling my stomach lurch as I got up and ran out of her bedroom door.
"No, no, no it's just a dream Luca, it's just a dream," I muttered under my breath but the smell said otherwise and every time I looked back it was the same scene.
"Weeesssleeey,"
His voice struck a cold dead fear into my heart and I turned to see George Michael Anderson was now in my daughter's room, standing in front of the fort with his large fingers intertwined.
Now the smell shifted to his expensive cologne which I had been forced to smell a million nights in a row. I gulped and turned, quickly picking myself up and running down the hallway of the farmhouse.
Turning down the stairs with too much speed, I fell before I could take a single step. Tumbling down the stairs I fell to the first landing where George was soon on top of me. His hand tightened around my throat so I couldn't scream for help and I tried to reach up, scratching his arms with my long nails but he was unaffected. His cold glare staring into my eyes as I heard the familiar zipper and cried.
"Tsk tsk, WeSlEy, YoU'vE bEeN a BaD bOy AgAiN, yOu KnOw WhAt ThAt MeAnS,"
His voice came out mangled and broken and the bullet hole in the dead center of his forehead dripped the liquid substance onto my face. Seeing the hole I created made it all the better as a smile spread across my face.
"You're dead, I killed you myself,"
I gasped for air as I sat up and hit the sheets of the fort. The Christmas lights casting a bright glow in the fort as I looked around and found Jaydean, Thomas, Matthias, and Houston all fast asleep beside me.
I watch their chests move up and down, even feeling Jayde's neck for her strong heartbeat before quietly slipping out of the fort and running to the bathroom at the end of the hall. Throwing up all the contents of my stomach until it was just burning bile mixed with dry heaving. My nerves shot and my heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour.
"It was just a dream,"
I told myself as I leaned back against the tub. Tilting my head up as the tears ran down my face and watching the ceiling until my neck strained and I dropped it down to my chest. I slowly got back on my feet, grabbing the sink basin to help me. But I wasn't strong enough and I slipped, falling back and hitting my forehead against the side of the tub.
"Fuck," I whispered as tears of pain now slipped from my eyes. The burning in my eyes was always my greatest weakness.
I reached up, feeling the wet bump on my forehead where I split skin and pulling my fingers back to see the blood on my fingertips.
The blood sent a new wave of images through my brain and I curled up in a ball, wanting it to stop.
Standing in the empty abandoned subway station as the tubes ran their course between us, I wrapped my fingers around his gun and shot him to protect Matthias and Jaydean and Thomas as well.
I shot him and I killed him without mercy because he never showed me mercy.
And I knew he wouldn't show my family mercy when he found out they were the ones who took his precious pet, Wesley.
The look on George's face as he fell to the floor fills my head. I wanted to scream, but I didn't want to wake the rest of my family. I looked around the bathroom, searching and hunting until I found something sharp and sat on the bathroom floor again, taking the object and making one sharp cut on the side of my wrist.
The pain floods my body and distracts my brain, ending the PTSD episode and bringing me back to reality.
And the reality was I am home, I am safe, I am alive, I am loved.
"I am home, I am safe, I am alive, I am loved," I repeated out loud and dropped the sharp object to the floor letting out a long sigh of release.
A bright yellowish glow from the rising sun started to fill the bathroom which told me it was about six in the morning. A small pool of blood droplets now stained the floor and I quickly grabbed a bunch of paper towels to pick it up before anyone saw it, hiding it in the garbage while also wiping the cut on my wrist and holding pressure to stop the bleeding.
As I stood up, I looked in the mirror and found the cut on my forehead. It didn't look like it needed stitches or anything so I'll be fine. However, my pale face was a different concern. The dark bags under my eyes now stood out more than before and my light blue eyes seem to have lost their shine.
A small knock on the door nearly scares the shit out of me and I leaped to my feet.
"Hello? Is someone in there?"
Jaydean's voice filled the room and the world felt a little less empty as she spoke.
"Hey baby girl," I sighed as I quickly opened the door and picked her tired little body up, pressing her head into my shoulder before she could see how messed up her father was.
"Good morning to you too papa," She yawned and kissed my cheek. I took her back into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub, holding her so close.
"Papa, you're hugging me too tight. You're gonna suffocate me," She whined and I forced my body to let up a little bit.
"I love you Jaydean," I sighed and she giggled a little.
"I love you too papa! Oh no, papa! You're hurt!" She gasped and held my cheeks in the palms of her tiny hands.
"I know what will fix this!" She said and got off my lap to go into the bathroom closet, pulling out a small box of her favorite star wars band-aids. Getting to work on covering my face in a series of BB-8's and R2D2'. While she worked on my face I stole two of them, peeking over her shoulder so I could cover my wrist.
After she finished, she kissed the top of my bandaids and smiles.
"There you go Papa, do you feel better now?" She asked and I smiled back, giving her an appreciative nod.
"Yeah baby, I feel a lot better now, thank you," I commented and she put her hands up with pure innocent happiness.
"Yay! I love making other people feel better. Mommy says I get that from you," She giggles, her messy red hair bobbing along with her and I pulled her close to me again so I could hug her.
"You're a little angel, you know that? I don't know what I would do without you," I sighed. Jayde nuzzled her head under my chin, pressing her ear to my chest so she could hear my heartbeat.
"I dunno what you would do either, I'm pretty awesome," She says and I laughed out loud, kissing the top of her head before hearing her tummy grumble.
"Are you hungry sweetheart? Do you want to help me make breakfast?" I asked and she quickly got off my lap with a sharp nod.
"Yes daddy, but I have to pee first. That's what I came here to do but you distracted me so get out," She said politely and I did so, deciding I'd meet her in the kitchen.
End of This Is Us Chapter 12. Continue reading Chapter 13 or return to This Is Us book page.