This Is Us - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

LUCA POV
'I'll be there in five'
Matthias' message read as I left the doctors office, replacing the crutches and cast with a larger, rather ugly looking gray boot which in no way matched with the navy converse I wore on the other foot.
I sat down on a small wooden bench in front of the ortho doctor's office and tugged my dark jeans out of the boot where it had previously been uncomfortably resting against my ankle. Rolling them both up into capris and settling.
I stared at my feet for a few moments and kicked them back and forth, trying to keep my head down, thankful that no one passing by recognized me as that guy currently in the news for being 'domestically abused' by his partner.
In my head, I laughed at the thought. These American's really are something else because if Thomas was really abusing Matthias and I, there would be no evidence.
I should know.
Cooper wasn't with me but it was almost as if I could hear his whimpering in the back of my mind, pulling me out before I was too far gone. I was too distracted by the pounding of my own heart to notice anyone else until the loud roar of a revving motor grabs my attention and I finally look up.
A man in a black leather jacket, a flaming red Kawasaki Ninja, and tight, ripped black skinny jeans was parked on the curb in front of me. Using his foot as a kickstand, the mystery figure tilted his head down and reached up to his black helmet. Pulling it off to reveal his electric blue-gray hair, bright blue eyes, and a perfect white smile to match.
Honestly seeing this bad boy in all black made my heart flutter just a little.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I asked as I questioned whether or not I really knew the guy standing before me right now.
"Hi my name is Steve and I'll be your Uber driver this evening," He lies and I crossed my arms.
"Sorry, I prefer Lyft," I shrugged and his smile faded.
"Fine then bitch, I guess you can walk home, god damn," The bad boy named 'Steve' says with his gloved hands on his hips and a specific curl to his lips that lets me know he's already won.
I stand up and inched my way towards the bike, nervously running my hand over the back strip of leather I guess someone could consider a seat. I had watched him drive this thing and similar motorcycles for years but never actually got on with him.
"Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there? Come on man, the clock is ticking and I got other people to drive, you know," He says and points to his backpack.
"Here, put this on for me. There's a jacket in there too for you cause you might look hot as fuck in that cute pink sweatshirt but it's not gonna do shit to protect you from the wind," He warns and I follow his advice, digging into the north face backpack to find another black leather jacket, brand new and in my size.
I put on the leather jacket and the second helmet before taking the lightened backpack for him. Letting the crowd gather as they observed the nice bike and ignored the famous people who owned it since Matthias looked like he came straight out of some emo biker magazine instead of a teen idol. His light blue hair now catching the sunlight as he put his helmet back on and straightened out the bike. Giving me the thumbs up before I nervously hopped onto the back seat.
"Don't be scared, just lean with me and you'll be fine," He says as he starts the bike with a loud roar. Both of our face shields were so tinted we couldn't see each other but he laughed from my startled reaction. I nervously snaked my arms around his waist, gripping him tightly before he took off without a warning. I almost slipped but I only hugged Matthias tighter, my helmet pressing against his back and I could feel his laughter through the thick plastic.
"I've seen you driving like a monster on this thing! How could I not be absolutely terrified!" I barked as he switched into traffic, ignoring my pleas and turning up the radio on his bike instead. Listening to the most intense Cardi B and Nikki Minaj for the first twenty minutes.
At every stop light, Matthias takes one gloved hand off the handle and runs it over my shaky ones, toying with my fingers and sometimes giving me a gentle squeeze. After a while, I start to think that we might not die after all, considering he was actually obeying traffic instead of weaving through it. Which was probably more for my sake than his.
My stiff body begins to relax and I don't loosen my grip around him but I actually start to enjoy the ride, as much as I hated to admit it. Apparently, we were also going for a drive against my will again because kidnapping me is my boyfriends' favorite kind of torture.
/youtu.be/f0bbDFRYD_A
But the backroads he was taking through a small weaving road next to the beach and I watch the ocean rise and fall with every wave crashing against the surf. The music shifted so quietly that I didn't notice it's softer tone until the piano stuck out to me.
Mmm, baby, I don't understand this
You're changing, I can't stand it
My heart can't take this damage
And the way I feel, can't stand it
I looked in the mirror, gazing into the tinted black of his face shield, wondering what was going through his mind. I wanted to see his face, to see the gears turning, to listen to him talk about how he feels while coating his words with impressive amounts of sarcasm.
I had my own words, things I needed to tell him along with unanswered questions that I couldn't decide whether or not they were best left unsaid.
The road has only a few cars at this time of day and Matthias turns off to a small exit where there was a small trail leading up the side of the mountain and a beautiful view of the ocean. He turns off the bike and takes off his helmet. His blue hair still shocking me when he takes it off.
"You can let go now," He chuckles and I realize I'm still frozen in place, my arms tightly wrapped around his waist. I tried to take my hands away but they refused.
"Nope, you gotta give me a few minutes, my body is frozen," I announce and he laughs.
"Come on Luca, this can't be the scariest thing you've ever done," He says and I smirked.
"No, the scariest thing I've ever done tops this," I told him honestly and he looks out to the beautiful view.  It was a brisk 68 degrees here but that was the warmest it usually gets in December.
"What was it? Skydiving? Cliff jumping? Scuba diving? Cane-"
"Loving you,"
Matthias instantly stopped talking and I finally unlocked my arms from his waist, leaning back to take off my own helmet while unzipping the leather jacket which protected me.
"So what are we doing here?" I asked and he snapped out of the daze I put him in. Getting off the bike, my legs felt like Jello and I nearly fell had it not been for Matthias grabbing my arm to support me.
"I dunno where we really are actually, it just felt right," He shrugged and I gave him a look.
"I should have called a real Uber," I grunted, leaning against the bike.
"I'll have you know my rating is 4.9 stars," He smirked, taking off his jacket only to reveal the plain black t-shirt he wore underneath.
"With my rating, it'll be 4.1," I said and he tugged at the backpack on my shoulder, grabbing a water bottle and walking off to the sandy trail.
"Hey! What are you doing?" I called out but he continued walking.
"I'm walking! What does it look like I'm doing?!" He called back and I hobbled after him, dragging the boot along as I did so.
My walk turned to a waddle as we slowly took our time up the ascending trail.
"Tell me if you're in pain or if it gets to be too much," He warns in a softer voice, the one he often uses with Jaydean when she's sick or in pain. I nod, sticking my hands in my pockets as the ocean disappeared from view and we were climbing this marked trail to only god knows where.
"You've changed," Matthias says the two words that were on both of our minds after a few moments of silence. I gulped in response, not expecting us to actually talk about this now...or ever.
"Are you disappointed?" I asked trying to appear strong when at any moment this man could break my heart in two.
"Yes," He says without a second thought and I clear my throat, feeling like there was a ball of nerves preventing me from going further.
"That's understandable," I sighed, looking down at the ground and dragging my feet.
Five years ago, I was a strong man without emotions for anything much less love. Trained to defend and protect because everyone else's life it above my own. Brainwashed into thinking I was worthless.
Then Matthias broke me.
He broke the wall that told me love was all a lie. His love threatened everything I believed in and destroyed everything I thought I was.
He gave me a beautiful little girl to look after and because I am a father I am no longer worthless. Because in Jaydean's eyes, I am everything but.
And with new beliefs, I became a new person. I'm not that tough guy he fell in love with.
I've changed.
"I'm disappointed in myself because you never trusted me enough to let me see you for who you really are," He says.
"Matthias, until you came into my life, I didn't know who I was," I point out and he shakes his head.
"I love you, I loved who you were then, I love who you are now. I love you Luca. Whether it be Luca or Wesley it doesn't matter. It never did," He says, finally breaking through to my inner demons which told me over and over again that his love was a lie or that it was forced.
"The base model is still the same just with a few upgrades," He shrugs and the path breaks, showing us our final destination. A beautiful openly rustic cafe with tables and benches sitting on an open clearing where the sun beginning its descent into the ocean could be easily viewed.
There were a few people here which made the random climb a little less sketchy and I finally sat down at an open bench, putting up my booted foot as Matthias got us something to eat.
"What are you looking at?"
I asked but Matthias only laughed, taking a bite of his sandwich.
"Nothing hon, you just look so cute with helmet hair," He says and I self consciously run my fingers through my hair.
"Well at least you think it's cute. Don't want to show up looking like a hot mess to our first date," I say and he rests his chin on his small fist.
"I'd say this was the second, the first one in Italy should have counted for something," He says and I could feel my cheeks burning up.
"Now that was a mess, I don't even want to think about it," I said, stealing a few of his chips.
"Hey, Jaydean had to get here somehow. Can't wait to tell her that story," He chuckled while I groaned out loud.
"I don't even want to think about it. Can't she just believe she came out of the sky like chicken little for the rest of her life?" I asked as I dipped my chips in a small amount of ketchup, stabbing them a little too aggressively.
"And what happened to your hair?" I asked him, messing with the blue fluff he had sitting on his head now.
"What? You're not a fan of electric blue? I thought it was your favorite color," He says sarcastically and I bite my lip.
"Maybe it is, I just don't like it on you," I tell him the truth but his mouth drops and he lets out a gasp.
"I'm offended! I like it a lot! What's wrong with it?" He shouts at me and the whole cafe turned to us but I didn't care.
"It makes you look too...hard," I tried to find the word but the just gave me that incredulous look.
"Isn't that a good thing? Looking and being," He smirked and I laughed so hard that I buried m face in my elbow, trying to catch my breath.
"No, no, no that's not what I meant!" I whined but he gently pats me on the head to sooth my embarrassment.
"It's alright English boy, you'll get the hang of American one day," He says. I peeked my head up just a bit, so I could see his face as he watched me with mild amusement and took another bite of his sandwich.
"Shut up," I jokingly grumbled. He twirled his hair with his fingers but ignored me.
"I just wanted to surprise you and see if you recognized me if I changed. I have new hair, a new style, and contacts but you still love me right?" He asked and I stopped eating, no longer holding an appetite since my stupid feelings were such a scrambled mess right now.
He's the only person who can do this to me and make me feel some kind of way that I can barely describe.
"You did all this just to prove a point? You're so extra for no reason," I laughed and he leaned on the table, grabbing my freckled cheeks and kissing me.
"It worked, didn't it?"