This Is Us - Chapter 48: Chapter 48
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MATTY POV
At the crack of dawn, I sat down on the carpeted floor beside Thomas with my legs crisscrossed as I gently caressed his soft cheek. A nightmare focused on Azi's green eyes made it nearly impossible to sleep so I knelt down to the floor where Thomas had rolled off the bed and landed. Unable to pick him up, I decided he would stay there but now I felt kind of bad.
The quad's sudden boost of energy also wasn't helping my sleeping patterns as I gently rubbed my stomach, as if that could somehow magically calm them down in the womb.
Thomas groaned a bit and I froze, not wanting to wake him up with my wandering hands. His cheek was so soft since he just shaved yesterday and his hair still looked fresh from his haircut that he got about a week ago. Even when he's asleep, he's so handsome that my heart trembles a bit and I run small circles on his cheek with my thumb.
He was like a supernova in my life, the brightest star that no matter how far I strayed, I would always return to him like he was the north star guiding me in the right direction. My own nova in the shape of a man who loved me unconditionally to my very soul.
I shifted a little, knowing the floor was probably uncomfortable, I slid his head onto my lap. Now I could lean against the bed with my back while running my hands over his upper body. His strong shoulders rested on my knees as I leaned over and kissed the tip of his handsome nose.
As I did, another groan escaped his lips and he opened his sweet brown eyes to find me peering down at him.
"Mmm...do I know you?" He joked and I flicked his forehead causing him to wince.
"Ah, fuck my head is killing me," Thomas hissed, closing his eyes and squeezing them shut.
I reached over to the nightstand where earlier I had poured a glass of orange juice for him and kept a bottle of extra strength painkillers. I held them out to him and he sat up a little just to take two pills before putting the glass down and collapsing into my lap again.
"Thank you baby," he yawned and I blinked a few times, my face unchanging until my lip started to quiver uncontrollably. My hands stopped at his shoulders and he reached up, pinching my cheeks.
"Why are you so quiet? You're starting to scare me," He commented and I opened my mouth to say something but the tears came rushing out first, preventing me from speaking.
"Hey," He quickly sat up and I covered my face with my hands as he tugged me into his arms. I gulped in a few tears as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, squeezing him tightly as I cried. My body shaking with every breath I took as he rubbed my back and gently cooed in my ear.
"Sweetheart, it's okay, I know it's tough but it's going to be okay. It wasn't your fault," He says but he had it wrong. It wasn't Azi's death I was crying about.
"When you left...I thought it was forever. I might have loved him once but I will always love you," I cried into his shoulder and he gave me a tight squeeze.
"Baby, I just needed some time to think and clear my head before I said something stupid," He explained as he kissed my cheek, holding his lips there as his head pressed against mine.
"Don't leave me, I'm sorry, just please don't leave me," I hiccuped and he gently rocked me back and forth.
"I made a vow baby, I'm here to love you and support you until the end. I will never leave you, I've promised you once and I'll promise you again and again. I love you, Matthias," He said my full name for the first in what had seemed like ages and continued to gently sway me until my tears dried.
The babies finally stopped kicking as hard and I thought maybe the combination of hearing their father speak while swaying had put them into sleepy moods.
"I'm sorry for what I did, I'm sorry for breaking a rule, I'll never do it again, I swear on the quads lives," I promised and he chuckled a bit.
"You know, hearing the words quads still sends me into a mini-state of shock," He says as he rubs my back and I tilt my head on his shoulder until I can hear his heart beating beneath his cotton t-shirt.
"I know it was a mistake, Matty. I just wish you were more honest and open about it is all," He said and the tension between us melted away like a piece of thin ice that had suddenly been heated up with a hair dryer set on high heat.
The two of us stayed in this position on the floor, silent with only the noise of Luca and Cooper's gentle snores mixed with our own breathing filling the room. Watching the sun make it's slow rise across the New York City skyline while listening to my husband's heart beating was breathtaking. His hands slipping under my shirt and feeling our babies little presence on my stomach was still a new feeling that gave me butterflies.
He gently kissed the top of my head, feeling one of his little ones closer to the bottom kicking out.
"I bet you this is Rumi," He whispers gently and I smacked his shoulder.
"Ow! What was that for?" He harshly yelled at me while keeping his voice down.
"I'm still mad at you for naming our beautiful baby Rumi," I grunt and he chuckles a little.
"No, you're just mad because you're starting to like it,"
"Maybe that too,"
At the crack of dawn, I sat down on the carpeted floor beside Thomas with my legs crisscrossed as I gently caressed his soft cheek. A nightmare focused on Azi's green eyes made it nearly impossible to sleep so I knelt down to the floor where Thomas had rolled off the bed and landed. Unable to pick him up, I decided he would stay there but now I felt kind of bad.
The quad's sudden boost of energy also wasn't helping my sleeping patterns as I gently rubbed my stomach, as if that could somehow magically calm them down in the womb.
Thomas groaned a bit and I froze, not wanting to wake him up with my wandering hands. His cheek was so soft since he just shaved yesterday and his hair still looked fresh from his haircut that he got about a week ago. Even when he's asleep, he's so handsome that my heart trembles a bit and I run small circles on his cheek with my thumb.
He was like a supernova in my life, the brightest star that no matter how far I strayed, I would always return to him like he was the north star guiding me in the right direction. My own nova in the shape of a man who loved me unconditionally to my very soul.
I shifted a little, knowing the floor was probably uncomfortable, I slid his head onto my lap. Now I could lean against the bed with my back while running my hands over his upper body. His strong shoulders rested on my knees as I leaned over and kissed the tip of his handsome nose.
As I did, another groan escaped his lips and he opened his sweet brown eyes to find me peering down at him.
"Mmm...do I know you?" He joked and I flicked his forehead causing him to wince.
"Ah, fuck my head is killing me," Thomas hissed, closing his eyes and squeezing them shut.
I reached over to the nightstand where earlier I had poured a glass of orange juice for him and kept a bottle of extra strength painkillers. I held them out to him and he sat up a little just to take two pills before putting the glass down and collapsing into my lap again.
"Thank you baby," he yawned and I blinked a few times, my face unchanging until my lip started to quiver uncontrollably. My hands stopped at his shoulders and he reached up, pinching my cheeks.
"Why are you so quiet? You're starting to scare me," He commented and I opened my mouth to say something but the tears came rushing out first, preventing me from speaking.
"Hey," He quickly sat up and I covered my face with my hands as he tugged me into his arms. I gulped in a few tears as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, squeezing him tightly as I cried. My body shaking with every breath I took as he rubbed my back and gently cooed in my ear.
"Sweetheart, it's okay, I know it's tough but it's going to be okay. It wasn't your fault," He says but he had it wrong. It wasn't Azi's death I was crying about.
"When you left...I thought it was forever. I might have loved him once but I will always love you," I cried into his shoulder and he gave me a tight squeeze.
"Baby, I just needed some time to think and clear my head before I said something stupid," He explained as he kissed my cheek, holding his lips there as his head pressed against mine.
"Don't leave me, I'm sorry, just please don't leave me," I hiccuped and he gently rocked me back and forth.
"I made a vow baby, I'm here to love you and support you until the end. I will never leave you, I've promised you once and I'll promise you again and again. I love you, Matthias," He said my full name for the first in what had seemed like ages and continued to gently sway me until my tears dried.
The babies finally stopped kicking as hard and I thought maybe the combination of hearing their father speak while swaying had put them into sleepy moods.
"I'm sorry for what I did, I'm sorry for breaking a rule, I'll never do it again, I swear on the quads lives," I promised and he chuckled a bit.
"You know, hearing the words quads still sends me into a mini-state of shock," He says as he rubs my back and I tilt my head on his shoulder until I can hear his heart beating beneath his cotton t-shirt.
"I know it was a mistake, Matty. I just wish you were more honest and open about it is all," He said and the tension between us melted away like a piece of thin ice that had suddenly been heated up with a hair dryer set on high heat.
The two of us stayed in this position on the floor, silent with only the noise of Luca and Cooper's gentle snores mixed with our own breathing filling the room. Watching the sun make it's slow rise across the New York City skyline while listening to my husband's heart beating was breathtaking. His hands slipping under my shirt and feeling our babies little presence on my stomach was still a new feeling that gave me butterflies.
He gently kissed the top of my head, feeling one of his little ones closer to the bottom kicking out.
"I bet you this is Rumi," He whispers gently and I smacked his shoulder.
"Ow! What was that for?" He harshly yelled at me while keeping his voice down.
"I'm still mad at you for naming our beautiful baby Rumi," I grunt and he chuckles a little.
"No, you're just mad because you're starting to like it,"
"Maybe that too,"
End of This Is Us Chapter 48. Continue reading Chapter 49 or return to This Is Us book page.