This Is Us - Chapter 61: Chapter 61

*THOMAS POV*
*Six Years Earlier*
[before Italy]
"GOODNIGHT LA!"
I shouted as I dropped the mic and turned around, being the last person to walk off stage and into the huddled mass that was backstage as we got back to our prep room with the security team behind us.
"Hey, did you guys hear of the party Maxx is having?" Matty suggested as we got back to our room and started changing out of our costumes.
"Oh yeah, I was going to stop by after this, you want to go together?" Kailani asked him and he nodded.
"Of fucking course, I'll follow you on my new bike or race you there," Matty winks and Milo came into the room. He quickly takes off his shirt to change and I find myself staring a little too long at the tightened muscles of his toned body.
So long that his evil gaze meets mine and he smirks.
"Want to take a fucking picture? I bet you it'll last longer," He grunts and I quickly shift my gaze down, blushing heavily and trying to cover myself.
"I-I was just-"
"Great job tonight guys, no mistakes or falls? I'm impressed," Milo comes in at the perfect time with a clipboard in hand containing the notes he was taking on our performance.
"Hey we're going to Maxx's party tonight, care to join?" Matty offers to Milo but not me. I looked up once again to see Matty was now sporting a see through black mesh sweatshirt and ripped skinny jeans. I shift my gaze away again, knowing if he caught me this time, I'd never hear the end of it.
"Sure, but don't forget we leave for Italy at the crack of dawn tomorrow," Milo reminds us and the twins groan at the same time.
Kailani walks up to her boyfriend and flips the clipboard out of her hands, tossing it behind her.
"Why don't you loosen up a little babe, stop being all managery for once and live a little," She nearly moans to him and I sighed, tugging up my jeans and putting on my boots.
"I said I would go. What about you Thomas? Are you coming?" Milo looked at me and Matty audibly showed his distaste.
"Aw come on, don't even bother Milo. We all know the nerd doesn't do parties," Matty laughed and looked me up and down in a demeaning manner that he often did when he was about to poke at me for something else. But what else is new?
Embarrassed, I felt the heat rising to my face as I fixed my glasses and got a hold of my backpack.
"No, that's alright. Matty's right, I'd probably drag you guys down anyway," I agreed and left the green room before Milo could convince me of otherwise.
I got back to the apartment, punching in my code before slamming the door behind me and walking over to my bedroom where I tossed my stuff down so I could take a quick shower and just go to bed.
As I walked into the bathroom, I saw myself reflected back at me in the full-length mirror and laughed.
I was built to be broad but I had no muscle definition since all the hours Matty spent in the gym, I spent in the studio working on new music. I took off my glasses as if that would help me to some degree but it only made me feel worse. The dark circles under my eyes were visible from heartbroken nights spent endlessly pondering over an idiot who couldn't give two shits about me.
I dragged my hand down my face and slapped my cheek, as if that could magically insert the things I needed in order to attract the great Matthias Grayson. I walked into the flaming hot water and sighed.
What does Maxx have that I don't?
A great body? High amounts of self-confidence? A naturally sexy attitude? Matty's heart?
Basically everything I wish I had.
I turned off the shower and took in the steam for a moment. Letting the hot water run down my body before ruffling a towel over me and walking back out to my bedroom where I now noticed the package sitting on my bed.
I put on a tight black t-shirt and sweatpants before approaching the box, gripping it in my large hands and untying the string. I could tell from the parchment paper that it was from my twin sister and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.
Just as I expected, it was a small cupcake, my favorite peanut butter cheesecake cupcake that she makes in a beautiful little box with a small wax candle to the side. I looked in my drawer, rummaging around. Fuck, my lighter's in the studio from when I was trying to meditate over a stupid hook that took me forever to fix.
I walked up the stairs to the studio on the top floor of the penthouse and sat down on the couch. Taking out the tiny twisted candle and placing it in the chocolate frosting, I flicked the flint of the lighter and lit the tiny wicker.
For a few seconds, I stared into the tiny flame and smiled. At least there was one person in the world who cares about me.
"Happy birthday to you, happy 19th birthday too you," I sang under my breath since it was just me, alone, in this stupid office.
"Happy birthday dear Thomas...happy...birthday...to...me,"
I could feel a single tear sliding down my cheek and a slow burn building in my chest as I thought of how pathetic I really am.
Matty was right, I'm just some loser in the corner and sometimes I just wish I had never been born at all.
I looked into the little flame and closed my eyes, trying to figure out what I want to wish for.
In the end I decided that by this time next year, I just wanted love. Either someone to love me or for me to finally love myself, either way, that's all I dreamed of.
I blew out the little candle when I heard a small knock on the door.
I couldn't imagine who it could be or who would even bother coming to the studio at this time, but I swiped a small bit of frosting and sucked on the tip of my finger.
"Come in, it's unlocked!" I called out and Agent Anderson poked his head in.
"Hey, I was just doing a scan, happy birthday!" He said with a warm smile and I pointed to the large cupcake.
"Yeah, want some?" I asked and he shrugged. Walking into the room and closing the door behind him.
"If you don't mind," He chuckles as he plops down next to me and I take a plastic fork and give him a piece.
"You're not allergic to peanut butter right?" I asked as I slid my glasses up and took a bite, pulling the wax candle out of the middle.
"No, I'm not allergic to anything. No ones ever asked me there before," He says and I feel that embarrassing burn all over again. Of course, no ones asked him. Because I'm the only dweeb that could ever talk to the beautiful British man that is Wesley Anderson.
"I think it's kind of cute," He giggles as he pushes back his perfect fluff of dark chestnut brown hair and I look into his beautiful ocean blue eyes. My heart pounding just a teensy bit harder than before, I question whether or not I'm dreaming or something.
"Huh?" I wanted him to say it again and he takes a bite of the cupcake, licking the frosting from his perfect pink lips.
"I said, I think it's kind of cute...how you care about every little detail," He repeats himself and with a smile that warmed my entire existence not just my soul. I took the last bite of the cupcake as he fights my fork for it, but once I take it, I hold the fork out to him. I had expected him to take the fork out of my hand but instead, he places his lips on it, closing his eyes and sliding the cake off with a small moan.
"Mmm, this is so good. Where did you get this?" He asked as he licked his lips and I put the empty box to the side.
"Um, I got it from a bakery," I told him, not wanting to get into details about my family and he nods.
"Right, well uh, I should get back on patrol," He says as stands up and bites the edge of the fork.
"A-Are you sure you have to go back?" I asked and Wesley paused, tilting his head back to me.
"Why?" He asked, tossing the fork in the trash bin with flare I didn't expect. I didn't know exactly why I didn't want him to leave, all I know is it would be really lonely without him.
"Nothing, just a little bored is all," I shrugged and he smiled, fully turning back to me and scratched the back of his head.
"Has anyone given you any cool presents since you're a year older?" He asked and I shook my head.
"No, no one even remembered it was my birthday today, which kind of sucked," I sighed and his look changed to one of anger.
"How could they not remember! You're a member of the band!" His voice got higher as he talked and I chuckled a bit, seeing an angry Wesley was actually kind of funny.
"It's fine, I'm used to be forgotten," I openly admitted and he held his breath for a second.
"So no one gave you anything?" He nearly squeaked and it was so cute I had to hold my own breath to keep from laughing again.
"No, you're the only person who wished me a happy birthday actually," I told him and his face fell.
"I'll give you something, here. Close your eyes," he commanded and I did as I was told, squeezing my eyelids shut. After a few seconds, I went to peek but got yelled at.
"No! Keep them closed!" He chastised me and I obeyed until he let out a small sigh.
"Okay open them," He says and I do, finding him standing in front of me and in his hands was a small origami paper swan.
"Sorry mate, it's the best I could do on such short notice," He says and I stand up, cupping his hands with mine before taking the small swan.
"No it's actually really sweet, like you," I said and he lost his breath for a second there, a heavy blush taking over his freckled cheeks, making me feel confident in myself.
"T-T-Thomas, I-"
I stopped his stuttering with a single kiss, the meeting of our lips was sweet and unexpected as I tasted the peanut butter on his lips and felt him smile through the kiss. I flicked my tongue across his lips and I'm quickly given entrance as I take the swan in my hand before wrapping my arms around his shivering body.
*Warning Mature R Rated content*
His hands ran through my hair and graced my neck as I deepened the kiss making him moan into my mouth as he slowly pushed me towards the couch.
"Mmm, Thomas," He hummed as he pulled away with lust in his eyes and pushed me into the couch, sitting on my lap to straddle me as he continued kissing me.
God, he had me swimming with mixed emotions as he tore off my shirt and I started to unbutton his while he kissed my neck. I felt every muscle on his body and felt self-conscious about my own as he slipped his hands down my neck to the ties of my sweatpants.
I held his hands in mine, pausing him for a moment as I tried to catch my breath as I stared into his beautiful eyes which were now half closed with lust. His hair was a mess from my sloppy fingers running through it and he was bitting his lower lip, driving me insane.
"Wesley..." I groaned as he slipped down my pants revealing my very very hard erection and he licked his lips again with a small smirk.
"Wait, Wessss," I hissed as he took just the tip in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, I nearly jolted when he hollowed his cheeks and started to move his head up and down giving me a sensation I've never felt before since I'd only had a few one night stands with a few girls but never a guy.
Wesley was the first.
"Ahh, fuck Wes..." I groaned as he took me deeper into his warm cavern, I was too big to go all the down but I didn't care since his tongue was doing wonderful things to my dick that I couldn't explain and I felt that familiar warm in my stomach.
He pulled off his mouth with a small pop and swiped his swollen lips with his thumb. I bit my lip, missing the feel of his mouth around me as he came back to me, gently nibbling my sensitive ear.
"I want you inside me," He begged, kissing my neck before I pushed him onto the couch and carefully slipped off his black dress pants.
"Are you sure?" I asked and he nodded, moaning when I rubbed his crotch with the palm of my hand.
"Yeah, ahh," He groaned when I trace a series of kisses across his neck and down his beautiful set of abs, eventually sliding off his briefs to be met with a wonderful surprise.
"Thomas?" He called out to me as I positioned myself above him and he wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me closer.
"Be gentle," He pleaded through his hooded eyes and I gently kissed the tip of his freckled nose.
"Of course,"
*END OF MATURE*
***
8 MONTHS LATER
"When raindrops fell...down from the sky,"
I sang along as I drove my truck down the street to home depot, stopping at the red light for the intersection with a small yawn. TIred from Matty's baby shower and building the baby furniture, or at least trying to without tools.
"The day you left me an Angel cried, oh she cried,"
The light turned green and I pressed the gas, not thinking twice about it. Not thinking of looking both ways or double checking so that I would see the speeding escalade going 100 mph, skidding into the intersection to turn just as I collided into it, my entire body rushing forward as the car was totaled with a sickening crunch.
There isn't much I remember from the accident.
Only the smell of gasoline as the car lit on fire.
And an angel's voice as I was pulled from the front of my truck with a massive tug. His face staring into mine with fear and panic after he realized who I was and what he had done.
As I laid on the grass, semi-conscious and unable to move my legs, I gripped Wesley's shirt and pulled him close.
"I love you," I whispered as a final confession before I drifted into what I thought would be my final resting place and eight little letters being my final goodbye.