This Is Us - Chapter 80: Chapter 80

*Matty POV*
"Jaydean, please stop messing with him,"
I said as I tried to hold myself together, my body felt like my own blood was on fire yet stuck in a polar ice cap naked at the same damn time. My head was pounding, my body shaking like crazy, and my surgery incision felt like someone took a knife and ripped it across my stomach.
"Baby? Are you okay?"
One of my husbands asked and I wasn't sure which as I tried to shove out that blaring red warning signal in my mind telling me something was desperately wrong. I muttered a few responses, unable to hear them over the clattering of my own teeth before I had a thermometer shoved in my throat and next thing I knew, Luca had kidnapped me in his arms against my will as I was shoved into our rented minivan.
It was then that I unleashed my fury as I was in so much pain that I felt like my body was ripping itself in two and I wanted to scream but I didn't want to scare Luca. Digging my nails into the leather seat as I tried to keep myself quiet but somehow words slipped from my mouth and Luca drove faster.
The fever had me in such a trance that I barely remember getting into a hospital room or even laying down in a bed. I just remember freezing my ass off until Luca came close and cuddled me to his chest while talking to someone over the phone.
My babies, I needed all five of my babies but this stupid illness was keeping me from them, making me feel like a useless dumbass who doesn't deserve the title of mommy. When I saw the pus oozing from my wounds this morning I thought I would just ignore it and it would go away. I have five kids to take care of after all and lord knows I don't like nor want a nanny in my fucking house. Not after the experience my own father had.
There's a sudden cooling sensation that feels nice against my skin and I close my eyes, basking in the feeling like I was floating in the air.
"Please get better love, I can't...we can't do this without you," I heard Luca cry out but the world was just so hazy that I had no feelings towards it. The cutting of my insides had ceased and Luca said a few more words to me that I couldn't hear before I was met with pitch dark blackness.
A single blue puddle in a world of darkness met my foot like an old friend stopping by just to say hello. I tapped the puddle but there was no splash with spooked me quite a bit, to be honest. I'm not afraid of most things but something told me to be afraid of this thing.
I strayed away from the puddle with my hands rested in the deep pockets of my plaid pajama bottoms. Walking in an endless world of black, always coming back to the puddle and each time I reach it, it seems just a little bit bigger.
Every now and then I would hear remnants of small words that never quite connected and eventually the puddle turned into a lake.
As I stood on the edge of the lake, I decided this time I would not touch it, but I would look into it, seeing if I could find some sort of connection that would get me out of here.
Instead, I found the lake now had a sheen glare to it that was almost reflective, except it wasn't my reflection staring back at me. It was my older brother's.
"Taehyungie?" I gasped, and the gasp echoed in the dark as my brother stared up at me with those familiar almond shaped light gray eyes and beautiful silky brown locks that went over just one of his eyes.
His expression softened when he saw me and he even laughed, but I couldn't hear it, as if the lake was a thick piece of ice I couldn't break through. I tried to kick it but his eyes widened and he quickly shook his head for a solid don't you dare.
Taehyung didn't look a day over the last time I saw him even though over ten years had passed since he was last in my presence when I was just fifteen years old. When I lost him and my brother in law to a natural disaster that had me in denial until I was an adult.
I gazed into his face as he looked at mine and I had so many questions to ask him. He was my only brother and the only person who kept in constant contact with me when I was forced to move to Bridgeport.
I started to tap on the ice and it cracked in the slightest way and I slowly started to forget the world behind me as I continued onto the future, with each crack revealing a blinding light that seemed so enticing, I just needed to reach it. I needed to touch it and feel it, I wanted to see my older brother, Hyungie, again.
But I stopped once I heard my angel's voice, reaching out to me from above in the darkness,
"Like a river flows, straight into the sea, darling so it goes...some things are meant to be..."
The sweetest voice to ever hit my eardrums shakes my world as I run to find him, to be with him, to comfort him because he sounded like he was in so much pain.
"So take my hand..." His voice broke the barrier I needed to breach and finally, I saw the light again, but this time it wasn't in the pond. It was in a hospital room.
With the light pouring in from one of the large windows behind Luca as he clutched my hand to his cheek with tears streaming down his face. The light giving him an almost angelic glow as he did so and I took in his pure beauty.
What was I thinking?
How could I join my brother when my entire life is here?
"Take my whole life too,"
He sang in that sweet little voice which was surprisingly strong as my sweetheart pressed my hand to his lips and I gave it a gentle squeeze, willing my hand to move. He opened his eyes in shock and suddenly stopped his sweet angelic love song which was my song to him.
"Please finish," I found it hard to speak as my throat was so dry but I made it work and he sang the last part of our song which brought me back from the beyond.
"...For I can't help, falling in love...with...you," He giggled and launched himself to attack my lips.
***
"So are you mad at me?"
Luca whispered after he had explained what had happened to me for the past five days and how he made the executive decision to put me under. He refused to let me go as he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my lap while I ran a soothing wooden brush over his wet hair to calm him. He seemed so stressed and tense when I woke up, as if I could ever be angry at his sweet puppy eyes forever.
"No honey, I could never be mad at you," I spoke softly with my voice still healing and he scrunched up his face before turning to me.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked and I stopped brushing his hair for a moment.
"What do you mean? You just went over a whole list of things that were wrong with me," I said, trying not to laugh as it sort of hurt the stitches, but it certainly didn't hurt as much as before I got here.
"No, I mean, you seem different. That's all," He mentions and I gently caress his cheek, running small circles over the base of his chin with my thumb.
"Luca, you know I love you right?" I asked him honestly and he quickly nodded.
"Of course I know you love me. Why are you being weird?" He asked again but how do I tell him it's because I almost left him and Thomas...for good.
"I dunno, maybe being in a coma changes people sometimes or maybe its from the sleep I was finally able to get after the restless nights with the babies," I giggles and he sighed with small tears building up in his eyes.
"God, I missed your laugh, the days are so lackluster without it," He confessed and the door to the hospital room suddenly slammed open, scaring the shit out of me and making Luca jump a bit.
"I came as fast as I could after he told me you were awake," Thomas pants as he tries to catch his breath while closing the door behind him.
His sweet brown eyes met mine and I saw the bags under his eyes had packed bags which carried heavy carry ons along with the dark circles.
"Did you run all the way here or something? Baby you look so tired, come here," I cooed and he tilted his head a little in confusion.
"No, I didn't run here. I just...well I ran to the hospital room, are you like okay?" He asked and I slowly nodded, beckoning him to come close.
"I asked the same thing. He's been so calm since he woke up that I would have him confused with the mother of Jesus Christ or something," Luca chuckles as he slowly started to fall asleep in my lap while I opened my arms to Thomas. Letting my strongman give me a gentle squeeze before he sat beside me and also wrapped his arms around me, covering my cheek in tiny kisses.
"I missed both of you so fucking much," Thomas groaned as he bent over and kissed Luca too.
"How are my babies?" I asked him and Thomas sighed into my neck making me shiver just a bit.
"They're all so beautiful Matty and they're waiting or you guys to come home," Thomas yawned and I pulled the pillow out from behind my back, setting it to Thomas' side.
"Lay down with your back turned away from me now," I demanded with my voice still croaking and he nodded.
"You look so tired baby, please get some rest for our sake," Luca mentions, gently squeezing Thomas' hand as he followed our orders and finally laid down, letting me massage my fingers over his tight shoulders.
"I'll see you when you wake up baby and maybe we'll go out to dinner too," I suggested and Thomas gave me that odd look again.
"Are you sure this is our Matthias?" He asked Luca who just shrugged my weirdness off.
"I will always be your Matthias," I told both of them as I went out of my way to kiss each on the lips before we settled into a comfortable position as I brushed Luca's hair with one hand and traced lines on Thomas' sleepy back with the other.