This Love We Have - jikook ff - Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Jungkook's POV
I'm so lost in my own thoughts. I'm somewhere between giving up and seeing how much more I can take. Giving up is not easy when he became your whole world. Maybe I can still love him secretly, right? He doesn't have to know. It's stupid, I know but you can't blame me. I just can't unlove him.
"Hey, Jungkook. Are you okay?" Jin said, placing his left hand on my right shoulder, making me look up to him.
"I'm okay, hyung. I'll be okay." I smiled at him. But my tears betrayed me. They started to fall from eyes. And now I'm a crying mess.
"I-Im not o-okay..." I managed to say between sobs.
He pulled me into a hug, and on cue, I burst into sobs.
"Shhhh...I know. I'm just here, Jungkook, okay? You know you can always come to me. I'll listen when you're ready." Jin said while giving circular motions on my back to calm me down.
But I can't stop crying. My heart aches. Somehow I need to release this. My regrets, my sadness, my heartaches and all.
"T-Thank you, h-hyung..." I managed to say to him while my tears are still falling.
"Aish...Jungkook, what should I do with you?" He said jokingly.
"I can't seem to unlove him, hyung. My heart aches. He moved on already." I said, still crying.
"That's the thing, Jungkook. He already move on and you should also do that. You know how complicated is everything now, right? You have a family while he has a fiancé now. You should be happy for him. You must accept how things are now between you. Let go of him, Jungkook. And please, you have to forgive yourself from everything you've done wrong in the past. Stop torturing yourself about everything. I know Jimin has forgiven you. Even if he doesn't say it verbally but I can feel that. The way he is able to smile now, I can tell he forgave you already. So please, let go of everything in the past and move on. Not just for your family but also for you. I can't take seeing you like this." Jin said looking at me.
"Trust me, I know that, hyung. But, I just can't get myself to forget about my feelings for him this instant. I love him too much that I can't let go." I said, tears threatening to fall again. Why do I have to be so dumb?
"I know, Jungkook. You wouldn't be like this, a crying mess, if you don't love him that much. Aish...What should I do with you now? Aigoo." Jin said, shaking the top of my head.
"I love him so much, hyung. Can't I just love him secretly?" I said. I know, that's so stupid.
"You know you shouldn't, right? You'll just hurt yourself even worse. Please, Jungkook. Think about everything that I just said. Please, for your's and Jimin's sake. Let go. Jimin loves someone else now. Please, don't do anything stupid, okay?" Jin reminded me.
"Aishh! Jungkook! Wake up now pleaseee!" I yelled at myself.
"Come on, Jungkook. You must calm down. I know you're still confused right now but I believe the time when you are able to forgive yourself, it will come. Just, trust God, okay? Time heals, Jungkook. Past is past. Accept what is and let go of what was." Jin consoled me.
"Thanks, hyung. Thank you for always being there for me when I need you." I said, hugging him.
"It's not a big deal. I just don't like seeing my dongsaengs hurt or sad. Now, let's go back. They must be looking for us now. Are you now okay?" Jin looks at me.
"I think I'm okay...for now. Thanks again, hyung."
"Aish, stop thanking me already. Let's go."
"Okay, hyung." I told him, smiling at him.
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Third Person's POV
"Ya, Jungkook. What took you so long?" Hoseok said when Jungkook and Jin came back.
Jin looked at Hoseok, signaling him not to ask stupid questions. Hoseok seems to get the message.
"I was just...uhmm..." Jungkook can't seem to find an excuse.
"Nah, I'm just messing with you, Jungkook." Hoseok said while laughing, giving Jin a sorry look.
"Okay...So anyways, Bang PD-nim just asked me if we could perform tonight just like we used to do before. If that's okay with you, Jimin." Namjoon said, looking at Jimin.
"Of course, Namjoon hyung. That would be great. I miss performing with you guys on stage. This request won't hurt." Jimin smiled, his eyes disappearing.
"Okay, that's good to hear, Jimin. How about you guys?" Namjoon faced the others and they all nodded except Jungkook.
"And you, Jungkook?"
"Y-Yeah sure, hyung. I miss the old times, too." Jungkook said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Yes! So what are we performing though? I'm so excited!" Hoseok screamed, jumping and clapping his hands like a child again.
"YA! Can you turn your voice down for a second?! Please!" Jin said giving him a death glare.
"Peace, Jin hyung." Hoseok laughed.
"Aish...anyways, so what do you think we should perform? Any suggestions?" Jin asked the boys.
"Uhmm...can I make a suggestion?" Dahyun suddenly asked.
"Of course, baby. What is it?" Taehyung put his arms around her shoulders.
"Uhmm...can you perform 21st Century Girls and Spring Day please? I love those songs." Dahyun said shyly.
"Of course, baby. It's okay with me. How about you guys?" Taehyung asked the others.
They all nodded.
"So it's settled, then. I'll tell PD-nim. You all can still remember the choreo, right?" Namjoon asked them.
"Of course, bro. How about you?" Hoseok said, teasing him. Everyone knows how Namjoon is when it comes to remembering the choreo.
"YA! I'm not that dumb, Hoseok! Do you want a piece of me?!" Namjoon threatened Hoseok.
"Oh come on. I'm just messing with you. Don't take it seriously." Hoseok laughed with all his might, touching his belly as he can't stop from laughing at Namjoon's face right now.
And on cue, everyone laughed remembering the old times, how they diss each other.