Thoreau - Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Thoreau Jones
I looked at the clock for the tenth time since 7:30 a.m. and sighed.
I didn't know how the numbers always knew when to go up, but I wished they'd go up faster. I had to pee, and no one would be here to unlock my cage until the red letters said 8:00 a.m. Even though it hurt bad, I knew I had to hold it. If I had an accident, Mommy Daddy would punish me and that would hurt worse.
Finally, my little ear heard familiar footsteps thumping up the attic stairs, and I crawled to the front of the cage, ready to leap out as soon as I could.
"Good morning, Reau!" Binda panted as she hobbled into the room, one hand holding a paper plate and the other pressing against her chest.
I knew her old legs were moving as fast as they could, but I couldn't wait any longer! The second she opened the lock on my cage, I sprinted past her and right into the bathroom.
"Morning, Binda," I grunted.
In too much of a hurry to close the door, I opened the front of my pants and sighed in relief as the pee came out. My belly still hurt even after it slowed to a few drops, though, and a quiet whine slipped out.
Uh-oh! I knew better! If I let anyone hear my pain, Mommy Daddy punished me.
But I understood why. I was broken, and they were trying to fix me.
Fortunately, I didn't have to worry this time. Only Binda was up here, and she was so old, her ears didn't work very well anymore. Plus, she wouldn't hear me over her wheezing as she tried to catch her breath.
I knew she was getting too old to climb the three sets of stairs to the attic. Tanner had warned me a couple of weeks ago that Binda wasn't going to be with us much longer, then explained that meant she was going to die soon.
Of course, I dreaded losing my only friend, but I was also worried that Mommy Daddy would forget to assign a new caretaker for me. Then how would I get food? Binda wasn't allowed to bring me much, but it was enough to keep me alive. As it was, my bones poked out and my belly always hurt because it was so empty. What would happen to me if I didn't get anything to eat?
"Almost done, Reau?" she called out, making me stop thinking about it. "I have a surprise for you!"
"Oh, boy!"
Excited, I hurried up with my business, washed my hands, took a big drink of water from the sink faucet, and bounced back into my room.
"Peabutter jelly sammich, please?" I yelled, hopping up and down.
"Shh, dear boy. Inside voice." She held a crooked finger up to her lips, and I nodded, knowing I'd been too loud. "I'm so sorry. If I could sneak that out of the kitchen, I would bring one for you every day. I'm lucky to smuggle your extra jello up here twice a week."
"Aw." I pouted for a second.
Peabutter jelly sammich was the best food in the world! Me and Tanner loved it, but we didn't get it very often. Mommy Daddy said we didn't deserve it, even though I always tried super hard to be a good boy and earn it.
"But I think you'll like this surprise," Binda told me as she handed me a paper plate.
I took it with both hands and saw something I never 'spected! Next to my usual two pieces of plain wheat toast were three whole strawberries!
"Thank you, Binda!" I popped one in my mouth and hummed as the sweet-tart flavor filled my mouth. "Thank you, thank you! I can't remember the last time I even saw strawberries!"
"You're welcome, Reau." Then she sighed and shook her head. "My poor boy. Your brother would be aghast to know how they treat you."
"What does aghast mean?" I asked.
"Shocked. He'd be shocked at how horribly they treat you."
"But Bubba left because he was 'shamed of me. Mommy Daddy said so. I'm bad and broken and need to be fixed," I argued as I met her sad, brown eyes.
"You're none of that. And Emerson didn't leave; alpha and luna kicked him out. I told you this many times before. He loved you so much, and it broke his heart to leave you. He would have taken you with him if he could, but he was only sixteen and you didn't even have your wolf yet." She tapped her pointer finger on my chest. "Speaking of Tanner, have you heard from him?"
I shook my head.
Two weeks ago, I was bad, and Mommy Daddy gave me special medicine to make my wolf fall into a deep, deep sleep. I couldn't even feel him anymore, and I missed him so much! He healed my ouchies and made me be brave and kept my mind busy during the long hours we were locked in our cage. Without him, I was lonely and scared and always in pain.
"Do you think Tanner will wake up soon?" I asked Binda with hopeful eyes.
"I hope so. Listen, Reau, remember how I told you I was looking for Emerson?" When I nodded, she smiled and her whole face wrinkled up. "Well, it wasn't easy working around the alpha's command, I finally found him!"
"You did!" My eyes grew big. "Where is he?"
"In a pack called Five Fangs. It has five alphas, and guess what?"
"What?" I asked while wondering why a pack had five alphas. Wasn't one enough?
"They have five betas, and Emerson's one of them."
"Wow!" I clapped my hands with a big grin. "Good for Bubba! He must be so happy."
"I bet he is. Now I'm going to work on convincing alpha and luna to let you leave. One way or another, I'm going to find a way to get you out of here."
That made my heart beat really hard.
I couldn't leave! Didn't she understand? I needed to be fixed! No one would love me if Mommy Daddy didn't, and they didn't because I was broken. That's why they gave me the special medicine and locked me up and tried to beat sense into me.
"But where would I go?" I whimpered.
"To Emerson, of course, silly boy."
"Go live with Bubba?" I squealed and jumped up and down.
"Shh. Inside voice, Reau," she scolded. "You don't want alpha or luna to come up here, do you?"
Shaking my head, I clamped a hand over my mouth. Her words made me remember something Mommy Daddy always said, though, and my happiness faded.
"He won't want me, Binda," I said sadly.
"Yes, he will, I promise. He loves you and wants you." She shook her head full of gray hair.
"But, Binda—"
"No buts, dear boy. There is nothing good for you here. You don't deserve this. You need to be with people who love you and treat you well and help you grow, not people who beat you and lock you in a cage and starve you and isolate you from everyone, including your own wolf."
As I thought about her words, I shoved the dry toast into my mouth, not nearly as excited about it as the strawberries, but I was hungry enough to be grateful for anything.
"You should come along, then," I said after I swallowed my last bite. "I will miss you."
"That's very kind of you, and I'll miss you, too, but I'm an old, old lady. My time is nearly done, and moving now wouldn't make a difference."
"But you have no family," I whispered, tears filling my eyes at the thought leaving her here to die all alone. "I'll stay with you, Binda, until your time is done."
"Oh, no, you will not! I want to die knowing you are far away from here. Far away from this misery and safe with your brother."
Then she pulled me into a hug, and my face heated up with embarrassment. I usually loved her hugs, but right now, I was 'shamed for her to touch me. I needed a shower really bad, but had two more days to wait before I was allowed to go down to the guest room on the second floor and take one.
That was the worst thing about summer. The attic got so hot, I sweated and stank. I tried to clean myself up as best I could in the sink in my bathroom, but I could only do so much when I got one fresh hand towel every three days and one tiny bar of soap a week.
Still, being stinky in the summer was better than freezing up here in the winter. Sometimes, my fingers and toes got so cold that I was afraid they'd fall off!
If I can go to Bubba, maybe he'll let me have a real bedroom again! I thought to myself.
"Don't you listen to alpha and luna, Reau," she whispered. "They are not doing right by you. Not at all. You are a good, dear boy, and they have no right to treat you like this. I love you so, so much. Emerson does, too."
"He does?" I whispered back.
"He does. Did he ever do anything to make you think otherwise?"
"He left."
"He didn't want to," she argued. "Alpha and luna banished him from the pack for something that had nothing to do with you, only their own hate, and I want you to remember that, not the lies they tell you. Think about how nice Bubba was to you before they made him leave."
So I turned my memories on as she rocked me in her arms and held me tight in her bony arms. Despite what Mommy Daddy said, Bubba was good and nice and kind to me. He took care of me and played with me and even taught me how to ride a bike. Mommy Daddy's mean words had made me forget all of that!
"Binda, you're right!" I gasped.
"I know I am," she chuckled. "Then why are you so quick to believe alpha and luna and not me?"
I blinked a few times as I wondered that, too.
She was right. Mommy Daddy hurt me and locked me up here and wouldn't let me link or talk to anyone but them or Binda. If they wanted good for me, wouldn't they be more like Binda, who was always so soft and gentle? Wouldn't they love me and help me?
But I was broken, and Mommy Daddy were fixing me. Once I was fixed, they could love me, then others could, too.
"What does Tanner say?" Binda asked as if she could read my mind. "Before they put him to sleep, what did he tell you?"
"Run away if I can," I admitted. "Run and find Bubba."
"Now you have me and your wolf saying the same thing." She leaned back and raised my chin with one wrinkly hand. "I don't know how yet, but I'm going to get you out of here. Even if it takes my last breath, I'll get you to Emerson. Then you will be free to find your happiness."
"Find happiness?"
"Yes, dear boy. I hope you find more happiness than your heart can hold."
I frowned. How could my heart hold anything besides blood? And how could I find happiness? It wasn't lost or a secret, was it?
With a sigh, I gave up trying to figure it out, stuck my thumb in my mouth, and snuggled closer to her. If she didn't mind my stink, I'd take all the hugs she wanted to give me! They were the only ones I got since Bubba left.
"I love you, Binda," I whispered around my thumb.
"I love you, too. Shut your eyes, now, and take a nap. Go to sleep and dream sweet dreams, my dear, dear boy."
So I did.
"Binda"