Thoreau - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

After we got home from luna's, I was so excited and happy, and Gelo said I was bouncing off the walls, but I didn't even touch a single wall, so I didn't know what he was talking about.
I liked Wayne and Arch.
I liked them a lot.
The second my little eye spied them, my belly filled up with flutters. Usually, I would have been worried that something was wrong with me, but I'd overheard Gelo tell Bubba that he got butterflies in his belly every time they kissed, so I figured it must be something like that.
I didn't only get butterflies, though. Every time I sat behind Arch or Wayne on their dirt bikes, my dicky got hard, and I had to scoot back so they wouldn't feel it.
I didn't care if they felt it, but I knew that would be bad manners.
One morning about a year ago, I woke up with my dicky stiff and standing up, and I didn't understand what was happening. I knew Binda was a maiden she-wolf, which meant she never found or chose a mate, but who else could I ask?
She didn't make a big deal about it. She just 'splained it meant that my penis had a healthy blood flow and was working like it should. She also said it might happen if I saw someone who I liked in a mate way, but it was bad manners to show or tell him or her unless he or she was my mate.
Then she asked me to promise that I'd wait for my mate, whether I had a Goddess-given one or chose a partner. She said it would keep me safe and out of trouble. I didn't know what I was supposed to wait to do, but I made the promise because I wanted her to be happy. She was one of my favorite people in the whole world. I loved and respected her a lot.
But, wow, is it hard to hide a stiff dicky when you're hugging a half-naked boy on the back of a bike! I giggled to myself.
Later that night, when Bubba came to tuck me into bed and turn on my star lamp, he said we needed to have a serious talk, and I was scared he would tell me that I was being a bad boy for liking Wayne and Arch so much when I just met them.
"Am I in trouble, Bubba?" I asked as I crawled under the covers.
"No, honey." He sat next to me on the bed and pulled me into a side hug. "I need to tell you something very sad. It's okay if you cry, and I want you to know that I love you and I'm always here for you. So are Gelo and Leo and luna and all your friends, okay?"
"Okay. Binda, too?"
"Do you miss Binda, sweetheart?" When I nodded really fast, he sighed. "I'll see if we can get her phone number and call her. How would that be?"
"I'd like that, Bubba. What is the sad thing you need to tell me?"
Then he told me that the special medicine Mommy Daddy gave me was wolfsbane and it killed Tanner.
I knew.
Some part of me knew my wolf was dead.
Hearing him say it, though, made it real.
I cried until my eyes didn't have any tears left, and Bubba cuddled me the whole time and helped me say goodbye to Tanner. When I fell asleep in his arms, I was heartbroken that I lost my wolf, but so very grateful that I found my big brother.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw a familiar plastic wall.
Confused, I blinked a few times, but it was still there.
Rolling over, I noticed my body hurt from lying on something hard, not the nice, soft bed Bubba put in my room. I didn't have any of my soft, smushy pillows, either, and I was all sweaty and stinky again.
My heart thumped hard in my chest.
What's going on?
I tried to link Bubba, but couldn't find one to open.
Bubba? Gelo? Leo? Luna Posy? Beta Ty? Anyone?
I even called out to those two pretty boys who gave me butterflies and said they'd teach me to ride a dirt bike, but I couldn't find a link for them, either.
I sat up and looked out of the wire grid door only to see the familiar, blood-stained wood planks of the attic floor. Then my little eye spied the red numbers on the clock.
8:00 p.m.
And heavy steps were coming up the stairs.
Please be Bubba. Please be Bubba. Please be Bubba.
"You've been a bad boy," Mommy Daddy's voice filled the room as he opened the door. "Now I have to punish you."
My whole body went numb and I couldn't move, except for my heart and lungs. They were going crazy.
Oh.
Oh, no.
No, no, no!
My chest felt like someone hit it with a sledgehammer when I realized what happened.
I'd dreamed I went to live with Bubba.
I'd dreamed I had friends and a bedroom and people who loved me. I wanted all of that so much, my stupid, broken brain had dreamed it happened - and I'd been dumb enough to believe it was real.
I should have known better, I scolded myself as a tear streaked down my left cheek. I should have known it was a dream. I don't deserve all that love.
"No, you don't," Mommy Daddy growled as he unlocked my cage. "And now I'm going to show you exactly what bad boys and retards deserve."
Reaching into my cage, he grabbed a handful of my greasy, matted curls. I didn't struggle or make a sound, even though it hurt so much to be dragged along by my hair, because I knew what would happen if I fought or cried.
If I followed the rules, sometimes my punishment wasn't so bad, but this was not one of those times.
Mommy Daddy threw me into the corner and took off his belt, and my whole body trembled from head to toe when the big gold buckle clunked on the wood floor.
Rule number one was no noise during fixing or punishment, and I'd gotten really good at following that rule. I could take a lot of pain and not let out a single whimper, no matter how hard he whipped me or beat me.
But when I was bad enough to earn the buckle-end of his belt, I knew I wasn't going to be moving much for a couple of days. I could never hold back the screams, and that doubled my punishment.
I hate that dream! I covered my head with my arms as Mommy Daddy raised his hand that held the belt. I never want to have that dream again!
But I was fibbing to myself. Even if it was only a dream, I wanted to have it again and again. No matter how much it broke me to wake up in the real world later, for a few hours I was happy and safe and loved.
The sound of the metal buckle flying through the air was my only warning before it hit my back, and I screamed before I could stop myself. It slammed into me again, and each scream came out louder and louder until it felt like my vocal cords would tear...
"Wake up, Thoreau!" Bubba's voice boomed, and I shot straight up.
Panting and sweaty, my heart ready to burst, I looked around and saw I was in my room at Bubba's house. There was my fluff chair and my star night light. There was my panda blankie and there were my smushy pillows.
And best of all, there stood Bubba, Gelo, and Leo. Gelo had his hands in fists and I stared at them, worried I'd been bad and he was angry with me. Then his hands relaxed and he sat on the bed next to me and patted my knee, and I let out a sigh of relief.
"It was a dream, honey." Bubba sat next to me and rubbed his hand up and down my back. "You're safe. You're safe with us and you always will be. We will never hurt you, baby brother, and we will never allow anyone else to hurt you, either. Not ever again."
"Don't send me back!" I whimpered and grabbed one of his hands to squeeze. "Please, Bubba, please don't send me back to Mommy Daddy! Give me another chance! I will be the best good boy ever! Just don't send me back!"
"Oh, piccolo cucciolo, you will never go back to them." Gelo's eyebrows pulled together above his nose. "I would kill anyone who tried to take you away from us."
My heart and lungs were working better now, but I was still worried. I was causing trouble for them, and that meant I was being bad.
And being bad meant punishment.
"I'm sorry for being bad." I dropped my head to my chest and played with Bubba's fingers. "I didn't mean to have a bad dream and wake you up."
"Honey, that isn't being bad," Bubba said. "Nightmares happen. You can't control it. It's okay, and it's okay if it happens again."
"We want to help you, buddy." Leo leaned over and ruffled his hand through my curls. "We're here to support you."
"That's right," Gelo added with a smile. "It's our job to take care of you, fratellino (little brother)."
"It is?" I tilted my head as I gave each one of them a quick look.
"It is," they all said together, making me giggle.
"I'm going back to bed now, Reau." Leo patted my shoulder. "Come join me anytime you want, okay?"
"I can bunk with you again?" My eyes lit up. I'd bunked with him last night after that pesky ghost in the attic woke me up again!
"Sure. We'll have another sleepover."
After he left, Bubba asked if I wanted to go downstairs and watch a Disney movie or stay here and try to go back to sleep. I thought about it for a few seconds. Disney was tempting, but I was very tired.
"I would like to go back to sleep, but I'm scared to be alone."
"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Bubba asked.
"I dreamed that this was a dream. I woke up in my cage in the attic and Mommy Daddy came and punished me for being a bad boy," I admitted.
"Well, you are not a bad boy, and this is real, and you will never be locked in a cage or attic again. I won't allow it." Bubba's voice came out a little rumbly, but I knew he wasn't mad at me. He was upset because Mommy Daddy had been so mean to me.
"Would you like us to stay with you until you fall asleep, ometto (little man)?" Gelo asked.
When I nodded, he stood up and came around to the other side of my bed, then slid in next to me. Bubba did the same thing, and they squashed me between them.
"I'm not a stuffed animal!" I giggled.
"Oh? You're not?" Gelo squeezed me in a hug. "You're small enough to be one, and soon you'll be squishy like one, too. I'm going to fatten you up until you're a soft little polpetto (meatball)."
"Okay, now I have to find out what a polpetto is," Bubba grumbled as he stroked my hair. "You called me that, too."
"Because you are. Sei il mio polpetto (You are my meatball)," Gelo chuckled.
I wanted to know what it meant, too, so I linked Zia Maria. She was usually willing to translate anything for me, especially if it made Gelo's cheeks turn red.
Hi, piccolo orso (little bear), she linked back in seconds. Why are you awake so late at night?
Had a bad dream, zia. I bit my lip as I looked at the clock and saw the red letters said it was 12:02 a.m. Did I wake you up?
No, Matthew and I are just now going to bed. Is Gelo or Emerson with you?
Yes. They are cuddling with me. Zia, what is a polpetto?
Oh, is Gelo teasing Emerson again? she giggled.
And me! I huffed.
Aww! It just means meatball. For an Italian, it's a sweet pet name. I mean, think about it. What's pasta without meatballs?
I tilted my head. What was pasta without meatballs? Noodles and sauce, unless Gelo put in some of those peppery green leaves I didn't like and picked out.
Thank you, zia, I said, using my manners. Tell Zio Matthew I said hello.
I will, piccolo orso. We'll see you tomorrow.
'Morrow? I asked on a big yawn. Coming to see me 'morrow?
I guess they didn't tell you... Yeah, baby. Tomorrow.
See you then, zia. I yawned again and rubbed my face against Bubba's big, hard chest. Good night.
Buona notte (Good night).
Right then, Bubba sank his big fingers into my curls and massaged my scalp. No way could I hold out against that! My eyelids slid down and stayed down.
"Sleep well, honey," he whispered, then kissed my forehead.
"Sweet dreams, cucciolo," Gelo whispered from my other side.
"Buona notte, (Good night)," I mumbled, repeating what Zia Maria said, and heard Gelo laugh softly before I fell asleep.
The next morning at breakfast, Bubba said Luna Posy invited all of us to Beta Ty's birthday party today!
Cheering loudly, I clapped my hands and bounced in my chair.
I loved hanging out with the pretty little luna. She hugged me and petted my curls and sang to me.
And I wanted to see if Beta Ty found his mate today.
"Will Wayne and Arch be there?" I asked Bubba as I ate up my chocolate-chip pancakes.
"Yes. All of the alphas' families will be there."
A big grin stretched across my face. I couldn't wait to see Wayne and Arch again.
They'd told me I could link them whenever I wanted, but every time I thought about talking to them, those danged butterflies stirred up in my belly again.
I sure did wonder where they came from.
And how did they breathe inside me?
Maybe butterflies don't need air, I thought to myself, tapping my index finger on my chin.
"What are you thinking about so hard, caramellino (butterscotch)?" Gelo asked as he sat down next to me. "Are you nervous about going to the party?"
"Do butterflies need air?" I tilted my head as I looked at him.
"Um, yes, they need air to breathe. Why? Did you capture one and put it in a jar or something?"
"You told Bubba they get in your belly when he kisses you." I looked up at Gelo and watched as his cheeks turned pink. "And I got butterflies in my belly yesterday when I met Wayne and Arch. So I am wondering how they got inside me and how they breathe in there. And do they stay in my belly, or do they come out when I fart?"
Leo laughed so hard, he snorted his orange juice out of his nose and sprayed it all over the table, which made me laugh, too.
"For the love of the Goddess, Leo," Bubba grumbled and grabbed a roll of paper towel. Tossing it to him, Bubba looked at me with a scowl. "What do you mean, you felt butterflies in your belly when you saw them?"
"They're so pretty." I shrugged. "Wayne has such fluffy blond hair and Arch's green eyes are beautiful. I could stare into them all day. And they're so muscle-y, but their skin is so smooth—"
"Do they make your penis hard?" Leo stopped cleaning up his mess and looked at me with serious eyes.
"Leo!" Bubba bellowed.
"Are you serious?" Gelo hissed.
Both of us ignored them.
"Uh-huh! Both of them do!" I said with a big grin, then dropped my voice to a whisper. "Binda made me promise to wait until I turn eighteen or find my mate, but she didn't tell me what I'm waiting to do. I think it means I'm not supposed to play with anyone's dicky. Is that correct?"
"Oh. My. God. Dess," Bubba moaned and dragged his hands down his cheeks.
"Dicky?" Gelo raised an eyebrow.
"Dicky sounds so happy and fun! Penis sounds all strict and serious."
He sat there blinking at me, so I turned to Bubba.
"Is that wrong? Am I being a bad boy for liking Wayne and Arch?"
"Oh, no, honey!" He put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me in a tight hug. "You can like whoever you want, but Binda is right. You can't mate with anyone until you're legally an adult. That's werewolf law. Do you understand?"
"Yes, but when I find my mate, we can play with each other's dickies all we want, right?"
"Uh, yeah... "
"Oh. Oh!" My mouth dropped open as I realized something. "You and Gelo play with each other's dickies!"
Bubba's face turned bright red, Gelo's eyes grew great big, and Leo burst out laughing again.
"Wait a minute!" I looked at Leo as another thought came to me. "What will you play with when you get a mate? You told me you like girls, and girls don't have dickies."
"Uh."
The tips of his ears turned pink, but I had it figured out now. It happened anytime we talked about mates and mating, so that must mean he was embarrassed that he hadn't found his mate yet! I nodded to myself, satisfied to understand it now.
"You can learn about female anatomy later," Gelo told me in a gruff voice. "Don't worry about it for now."
I nodded, not sure what anatomy was, but still curious what a girl had instead of a dicky. I opened my mouth to ask, but I suddenly 'membered something Leo told me the other day.
"Oh, wait! I know! Breasts! You told me the bumps on girls' chests are called breasts and their mates can play with them. But are you sure you like girls, Leo? Breasts are soft, but they don't seem nearly as interesting to play with as a dicky."
Instead of answering, Leo made a funny noise in his throat, then hurried over to the sink and began rinsing his plate.
"Oh. My. God. Dess," Bubba repeated in a groan.
"It's not polite to ask those kinds of questions, Reau," Gelo scolded me.
"I didn't know that. Sorry, Leo! I hope you and Ruby find your mate soon!" I called out to him.
"It's all good." He came back and patted me on the head. "And thanks, buddy."
"I hope Wayne and Arch end up being my mates!" I bounced up and down on my chair.
"Hold up." Bubba shook his head. "You hope both Archer and Wayne will be your mates?"
"Yes! I like them so much! I like hanging out with them, and they said they like hanging out with me, too!"
"Okay, that means you're friends. That doesn't mean you like each other in a mate way," Bubba told me.
"And you just met them yesterday," Gelo pointed out. "Remember what Queen Elsa told Princess Anna about Prince Hans? 'You can't marry a man you just met.' "
"That's right! She did!" Frozen was currently my favorite Disney movie. We'd watched it seven times already, and I had every line memorized. "But what's that got to do with me?"
Leo laughed again, but thankfully he wasn't drinking any juice this time.
"It means you can't be mates with two boys you just met, cucciolo," Gelo said. "Besides, you're too young to find your mate. Just enjoy being a pup and their friend for now."
"And remember you promised Binda that you'd wait," Bubba said with his Very Serious face. "That means you won't mess around with anyone else's penis, and you'll keep yours in your pants at all times until you're eighteen."
"Bubba, you're silly!" I giggled, making his eyebrows shoot up. "How can I keep my penis in my pants at all times? I have to take it out to pee, you know!"
And this time, it was Gelo who spit his juice everywhere.