To Put On An Act - Chapter 12: Chapter 12

With a proper black button up, an un-ripped pair of jeans, his cleanest boots he could find, and a very small and admittedly cheap potted orchid as a gift, Alex rang the doorbell of the Lee residence. Perhaps he was a nervous wreck right now, but at least he looked nice. Like a real boyfriend. Or son in law. He even toned down the eyeliner a little bit today.
Youngbin lived in this proper and clean and kind of samey neighbourhood, and Alex knew that Min actually lived pretty close. This was the rich people district of Rosebury, one of the few places that actually looked all pretty and shiny and well kept, with big houses and their big gardens, bushes cut into tacky shapes, and a couple of hideous McMansions.
Now oddly enough, Youngbin's house wasn't too bad. Maybe Alex was biassed, but it looked a little more welcoming, a little more warm, and a lot less pompous.
The white front door opened slowly with a creak, and Alex quickly straightened his back, putting on a smile, holding the potted orchid in one arm while hiding the other behind his back. Oh, he was going to make such a good first impression. The world's best boyfriend, and also the world's best behaved bisexual, there was no way in hell anyone could still be homophobic after meeting him.
Except that Youngbin now stood in front of him, and looked at him with his huge eyes, and let out a snort.
"What's up with your shirt?" He grinned. Kind of cutely. Alex looked down on himself as if he had to double check his outfit once more. Nope, still the same. Black boots, dark blue jeans, black shirt- shit. He fucked up the buttons. Great job, dumbass, what's next, was he wearing his pants the wrong way around? Was he going to carry mud from all over Rosebury under his shoes right into the house?
"Well, fuck me," Alex hissed, shoving the potted plant in front of his torso. "Is it obvious?"
"To my mom, probably. You can fix it later." That shit eating grin on Youngbin's face that Alex had never seen on him before disappeared slowly and turned a little sweeter when he turned around, waving Alex in. "Hi, by the way."
Alex stepped into the long hallway, and it felt a little like he had entered a horror house, except that the horror was trying to not destroy every single nice picture frame or wall sculpture by accident, and trying to not carry in dirt. So far, he was succeeding. And then Youngbin took a turn into what Alex assumed to be the kitchen or dining room.
There they were. The council, waiting to judge him and maybe kill him and send him to hell for all eternity. The Lee family.
Youngbin's parents were painfully beautiful and put together looking, sitting next to each other along the large round mahogany dining table. They looked as if they had been waiting for Alex to arrive for hours, Youngbin's mother quickly standing up with stiff movements as soon as he had stepped in.
"This is Alex," Youngbin said in a voice so gentle and soft and fond, and kind of proud, which was nice.
Youngbin's mother couldn't seem to smile at Alex just yet, and he couldn't blame her. She walked around the table with small steps, her eyes narrowed, scanning Alex, his face, his outfit, probably reading the depths of his soul. Then, she hesitantly offered her hand, and Alex cautiously shook it.
"Doctor Han Dahyeon." Oh. Doctor. That was kind of terrifying. "Hello, Alex. You can call me Dahyeon."
"It's nice to meet you, Miss- Dahyeon." Alex smiled, cleared his throat, then held up the orchid, and Dahyeon hesitantly took the pot into her long thin fingers. "I brought you- uhm, something, I didn't want to come empty handed."
"Thank you. That's very kind of you." Her eyes had softened a little, looked a bit more similar to her son's now.
"What a charmer!" By now, Youngbin's father had gotten up as well, and extended his hand. "Hi, Alex. I'm William." His handshake was firm, his smile was warm, and perhaps he was taking a little of the anxiety out of Alex. For now.
"It's nice to meet you! Both!" Now Alex took a step back, pressed his lips together in an attempt to twist them into a smile and crossed his arms in front of his chest so that neither of them would notice the button accident he hadn't fixed yet.
"We welcome you into our home, Alex." Dahyeon didn't quite sound like she was welcoming him, or anything about this evening, and her voice sounded even sharper when she spoke up again, this time saying something in what Alex assumed to be korean.
"Mom, you can't say that-" Youngbin hissed, clearly embarrassed, and Alex didn't even feel the need to wonder what it was that she had said. Lani's mother frequently gossiped about Alex in Tagalog, so maybe it was just a mom thing.
Dahyeon now cleared her throat, sat back down on the other side of the table after setting the orchid down on an old looking dresser that was stocked with a plethora of family pictures. Alex would've loved to look at them a little. There was something about family pictures like this- Something that made him so curious, and perhaps, just maybe, a little bit sad.
"Where is Sohee?" Youngbin now asked, watching his father sit down as well. In that same moment, Alex could hear rumbling, stomping, and lastly a gasp from the hallway just behind him. "Oh. There."
Who Alex assumed to be Sohee slid into the dining room, more or less carefully bumped Youngbin's shoulder, then grinned widely at Alex, revealing a gap between her front teeth.
"Youngbin's boyfriend?"
"Youngbin's sister?"
She grinned, so did he, and she bumped his shoulder with her fist as well. Ouch. Almost hurt a bit.
"Sohee, can you sit down?" Dahyeon sighed, with a bit of frustration, but a bit of- maybe something like relief?
And Sohee sat down, and so did Youngbin now, and after a couple of seconds and a "You may sit down as well, Alex" from Dahyeon, he finally joined the family around the round dining table. And then he just kind of sat there, and looked, observed all four of them the same way they were observing him.
Youngbin and Sohee were very obviously siblings, but not really in the way that they looked the same, in fact, the two had more differences than they had similarities. And yet, they both looked like a perfect mix of their parents, as if someone had picked some features of both Dahyeon and William, and put them on a blank cancas.
Youngbin's hair was wavy like his mother, but coloured a soft brown like his father, whereas it was the exact opposite for Sohee: deep black hair like her mother, with a straight texture like her father. Youngbin had the same thick full lips like those that were hiding underneath his father's moustache, Sohee's were thinner, yet her mouth was broader, especially when she smiled,, similar to her mother.
And then there were the eyes, large and rounded and gleaming and a nearly pure black. Youngbin's eyes were his mothers, and so were Sohee's. It seemed like the only feature both of them possessed, and kind of the only resemblance they had.
"So," William now said, after a couple of seconds of awkward silence that Alex didn't really perceive as awkward, because he was busy thinking about large black eyes. "What are we having for dinner?"
"Mac and Cheese," Dahyeon answered, and Youngbin and Sohee repeated in unison: "Mac and Cheese?" Though one sounded more excited than the other.
"I'm not sure why you're asking, William, you asked me to make it." And now Dahyeon got up despite having sat down less than a minute ago. "I will go check on the food, if you excuse me."
Youngbin stayed silent until his mother had left the room, then he let out a sigh, nervously shuffled around on his seat. At this point it looked like he was being more scared of this whole ordeal than Alex was, which, to be honest, was a common occurrence. Youngbin being anxious, that was. But Alex would make an effort to show his best side. No need to be worried, Youngbin. He quickly tried to fix his buttons.
"So," William said once more, with a smile on his lips. "I've heard a lot about you, Alex."
"You did?"
"Not really, actually. Do you mind telling us a bit about you?"
He did actually mind, yes. There wasn't all that much to say about himself. At least nothing a parent would like to hear about their son's boyfriend.
"Well... what would you like to... hear about me?" Alex cleared his throat, and noticed Youngbin's fingers nervously tapping on the table ever so quietly.
"Oh, you know." William's smile was so warm that it was almost intimidating. "What do you like to do? In your free time?"
It was such a generic question that Alex should've prepared an answer in advance, but of course he hadn't, and so he was quiet for a little too long as he tried to think of one.
"Well, I, uhm, I like music, so I spend a lot of time listening to music, I guess. And I like to work out every now and then? Yeah. That's kinda what I do."
"Ah, lovely!" Nothing. Silence. Some rumbling from the kitchen, Youngbin's fingers tapping on the table in a nervous rhythm, William's beaming smile, and that was it.
When Alex had met Leia's parents, there was less silence. Because her father had started to just kind of rant and ramble. And he sat there and nodded nicely and held his tongue like he'd never done before in his life, resisted the urge to disagree, all to make Leia happy. And he would've been willing to do it again for Youngbin.
"Can I tell embarrassing stories about Youngbin?" Sohee grinned, she was certainly good at that, and Youngbin choked on air.
"There are no embarrassing stories about me."
"Can I tell the story about how you made a girl cry when you rejected her on Valentine's Day?"
"You were barely even alive when that happened?"
"Oh, that story!" William now added, loudly, with that excited father voice.
"I suppose that story makes more sense to me now." Out of nowhere, Dahyeon appeared behind Alex and Youngbin, pushing between them to put a large pot of steaming mac and cheese on the table. Holy shit, that smelled good. "I hope you like spice. I put in too much gonchujang." She sat down, dusted her hands off as she looked at the meal in front of them, a proud gleam in her eyes. And maybe a malicious one as well. Something told Alex that she didn't put in too much chilli paste 'on accident'.
Luckily, Alex' favourite pastime activity was looking for the spiciest shit he could find and torturing himself with it just to feel something.
"Bone apple teeth!" Sohee exclaimed, seemingly already having forgotten about that embarrassing childhood story she wanted to tell. William hadn't, though.
"I believe it was in third grade, was it?" He put a massive spoon full of mac and cheese on his own plate before serving a hefty portion to Alex as well. "Or maybe fourth? So it's Valentine's Day, and apparently there's a girl in his class that walks up to him, and-"
"Let me tell the story." Dahyeon's voice sounded almost excited as she laid her fork down to better explain, a proud smile on her face. "There'd been a girl that asked him to go out with her, which, might I add, is very much inappropriate at such an age, so naturally I called her mother the same day. But, of course, Youngbin said no, because he very much knew that such things aren't to be discussed in primary school-"
Now she stopped, and pressed her lips together. Clearing her throat, she picked her fork back up, and with a little bit of pride having faded from her expression, she added: "Of course, he wouldn't have accepted that proposal if it came from a boy either."
"I don't really remember this happening," Youngbin explained calmly, beginning to focus on his meal and poking around in those creamy golden macaroni.
"I very vividly do, though."
"And you've been telling the story for 10 years now."
"I am allowing myself to positively talk about my son, you see." If rejecting girls was a positive thing, Alex must've been a fucking saint. "I think it was an early sign that you took school and work more to heart than arbitrary relationships."
Youngbin furrowed his brows, shrugged lightly, before shoving some noodles into his mouth. He almost looked a little agitated, and Alex wished he could see into his brain to figure out what Youngbin wanted him to do about it.
"Can we tell more embarrassing stories?" Sohee asked, her mouth full.
"That wasn't embarrassing, Darling. I think it's a very virtuous-"
"Can we talk about that time his primary school choir performed for the first time and he-"
"You couldn't even form a coherent thought back then, don't pretend like you remember that day." Ah, there was a thing about seeing your friends at home for the first time, watching them drop whatever kind of mask they'd put up in public around their family members.
Youngbin may have been polite and gentle and shy and kind of a mess in school, but at his core, he was still an older brother, and his voice was heavy with the kind of frustration only an older brother could have.
"I also think that this isn't 'embarrassing' in the slightest," Dahyeon now added, and Youngbin pressed himself further into his seat in an attempt to fuse and disappear within it. "Rather, something to look up to. Despite your fears and negative experience, you continued to grow and learn."
"Sooo... what exactly happened?" Alex leaned forward a bit, and Youngbin shot him a glance that was impossible to explain. The only thing there was to say about it was that it kind of physically hurt.
"Oh, it was his first time on stage, and he joined the school choir for a musical, and he'd practise so hard, and then-" Dahyeon smiled so fondly, it was hard to imagine that she'd ever hurt her son, ever hurl words at him that could make him as sick as he was yesterday. "I suppose he'd gotten too nervous, and as he was about to say his first line, ah..."
"I cried and ran off," Youngbin concluded, sighing. "Can we talk about something else?"
"An inspirational tale, I believe. You always found your way back onto the stage."
"I suppose I did." Now Alex could hear a hint of sadness in his voice, and Alex remembered something, their very first conversation, their very first meeting.
When Youngbin mentioned how he'd been made fun of, and how he'd prefer to not get on stage again for this year's play. Youngbin was being bullied, and that took the joy out of him, that was the very first thing Alex had ever learned about him, and the very first time he'd felt a little sting in his heart looking at Youngbin. That sting had left a lasting impression. And now, Alex was here because of it.
"He's a brave guy." Alex now nudged Youngbin gently, tried to offer him a smile and Youngbin's face was still one of annoyance, though it now started to take on a light reddish tint. "Loves what he does and does it well, no matter what."
"Now, Alex." Dahyeon's expression had gone back to a polite yet somewhat cold half smile. "Would you mind telling me a little bit about you?" Oh, he absolutely minded, and he quickly shoved a large portion of mac and cheese into his mouth in order to delay his answer. "What do your parents do?"
Not much. Certainly nothing good. And nothing that Doctor Dahyeon Han would want to hear about. Now her eyes, as well as William's and Sohee's, were on Alex, patiently waiting for him to chew.
Damn. That was some good mac and cheese. Shame he couldn't enjoy it as much now that everyone was staring at him. He swallowed, cleared his throat, took a slow sip of water- And started to feel the heat. The 'accidental' chilli paste. Holy fuck.
"So, my, uhm, my mother," Alex began, and with every word, the spice expanded in his mouth, "is a car mechanic. And my father, well, so he works- he's an IT manager at a, uhm, pretty big company." Is? Was. His father was an IT manager, and then he got fired. And then it got worse. None of this information had to get into Dahyeon's slender hands, though.
Her face lit up a little when the word 'manager' was said. Maybe she was hoping for a chance for her son to marry rich. As if any of that money was still in his father's hands, or in Alex' for that matter. And as if she wasn't already rich.
"What do you do?" Alex quickly asked, hoping for Youngbin's parents to talk a lot so that he could deal with the chilli paste that was massacring his mouth.
"Oh, William's studied architectural engineering at Yonsei University." Wow. That sure was a big deal, probably, most likely, or Dahyeon wouldn't have said it with such pride in her voice. "I studied at Ewha Women's University, department of pre-medicine." Wow, again, probably. "We actually met when William's older sister had just graduated from the same University as me, and I w-"
"Mom, tell him what you work as?" Sohee furrowed her brows with desperation, and it'd become clear that she'd told that story plenty of times before. Hey, whatever. Dahyeon talking more meant Alex talking less. Maybe fucking up less as well.
"Right, well William still works in architectural engineering, I am a gynaecologist-" Ah, yes. Alex remembered. Min's mom's gynaecologist. Right. "It's not like I am the owner of the doctor's office though. Only the co-owner, really." She wasn't super mega disgustingly rich, just a normal amount of super disgustingly rich.
"Ah, cool." Cool didn't sound all that smart and polite and eloquent. Maybe he should've said 'magnificent' or something. "I mean, that's really interesting. Uhm, what do you do as an architectural engineer?"
Silence for a couple of seconds as Dahyeon's head turned to her husband, who hadn't spoken up in quite a while. This was because he was already on his second portion of mac and cheese. That man had not listened to the conversation for a single second.
"Well, they..." Dahyeon now folded her hands. "They engineer architecture." Alex nodded, widened his eyes a little, let out an enlightened 'Aah!'. He'd learned so many new things just now.
And that, finally, ended the conversation for now, as Dahyeon would pay attention to her dinner as well. She ate in small bites, paying too much attention to looking tidy and elegant while eating one of the most basic boring foods on the planet. Alex could never curate the tiny little details about him to create a very specific picture of himself like that- Hm. Well. Maybe- Whatever.
The important thing now was that Alex wasn't allowed to make his burning mouth all that noticeable. Yes, that was the most delicious mac and cheese he'd ever had, gooey and cheesy and full of flavours that melted in his mouth, and yes, it was almost the most painful deadly experience of his life. Could've been a metaphor for love, or something.
Now the worst thing about all of this was that Youngbin had no problem at all with his mothers spice accident, and neither had Sohee, so Alex felt defeated by a 15 or so year old girl and her sensitive brother. As if to prove something to someone that didn't care about anything, Alex shoved a big fork of macaroni into his mouth. It was a lot. Too much, certainly. Alex coughed, and pretended like he wasn't dying by taking another bite. He wasn't very smart, really.
Youngbin pressed his hand against his lips when he noticed. He tried so hard not to laugh, and just barely succeeded, letting out a cough as well in order to play off a muffled snort.
What an asshole! First that shit eating grin when Alex was too stupid to properly get dressed, now he was just straight up laughing at him! And looking really fucking adorable while he did! What an evil little being! Alex needed a shot in the head, maybe.
Alex shot Youngbin a glance that was supposed to be offended, but ended up being a little pathetic instead. Which of course didn't make it any better, and Youngbin had to hold back his giggle further.
"So," Alex said, giving his all to simply not look at Youngbin, "tell me about the spices you put in?" He put on a smile, and Youngbin let out another cough, then another one when Alex gently but effectively nudged Youngbin's leg with his own underneath the table.
"Right, you see, I mainly use a korean chilli paste imported directly from my brother in Korea, who happens to be a chef, and I use a variety of hot peppers, some paprika, and-" Dahyeon looked up at Alex, raising her brow, with the lightest smirk. "It's not too spicy for you, is it?"
"Of course it's not!" Alex answered as instantly as he could and Youngbin almost winced when Alex lightly stepped on his foot to stop him from laughing. "I'm just curious, because it's really good-"
"It's my favourite!" William put his third portion onto his plate with a wide and happy smile. Never had Alex seen a man more content with his life. Sohee followed his example, and the large pot of noodles had significantly emptied.
"Don't eat so much, leave some for the guest. We also still have Yakgwa for later."
"Oh!" William's eyes turned into crescents as his smile grew further. "My favourite!"
"I know, Darling. So eat a bit less."
William nodded, and continued to chow down his third plate.
"So, Alex." Dahyeon straightened her back, as if it was even possible to sit any straighter. "What do you plan on doing after school?"
Good job, Doctor, that was one of the worst questions one could possibly ask. Aside from 'what do your parents do for a living', of course.
"Well." Alex cleared his throat, coughing once more as the taste of korean hot pepper paste still lingered in his mouth. "I'd like to-" Become a tattoo artist maybe, or hair dresser perhaps, or possibly a rockstar, and then a drug addict, and then a cold dead corpse at the age of 30. "-maybe go into art or music? I'm also interested in politics and philosophy."
That wasn't even a lie. If anything, it was one of the most presentable truths about him. He'd said the same when he met Leia's parents. Though, back then, it had been an incredible mistake to mention the word 'politics' in the company of her father.
"Ah, an artist!" The doctor gave Alex a smile. "Artists certainly carry a lot of importance that many people don't recognise." Sure. Alex wasn't really sure what he was supposed to answer.
"Yeah. They do! Yep."
"Some people's brains I believe are, well, enchanted in a way... They see the world from a different perspective, you see. Like Youngbin, they see art where ordinary people wouldn't."
"That might just be the autism," Sohee added.
"Curiously, dear, you don't see the world as colourful as he does."
"Different flavour of the autism," she said, nonchalantly, picking up one single macaroni with her fork to eat it with a cartoonish nyam.
"I also don't really see it as all that colourful." Youngbin cleared his throat, his cheeks still a little red from holding back his laughter earlier. "Just like, really bright and overstimulating and weird."
"Well," Dahyeon just said, and didn't add anything, concluding the conversation once more.
Well, Alex thought, and scraped the last bit of mac and cheese out of the pot. His mouth felt a little numb, but how much harm could another portion really do to him?
Youngbin watched him, his gaze following Alex' fork up to his lips, as if he was waiting for something horrible and maybe hilarious to happen. As soon as he'd stuck the noodles into his mouth, Alex turned his head a little and shot him a smile. Then he stuffed another fork full in right after, and his grin grew. See, Alex said with his expression alone, I'm not a pussy.
And as if Youngbin heard and answered him, he furrowed his brow with a disgustingly cocky smile that responded take another bite and we'll see. So of course, because how would Alex ever be able to resist a challenging grin like that, he did take another bite.
Bad idea. Youngbin's smile grew. Okay, good idea actually. Alex tilted his head, and chewed slowly, and pressed his lips together to suppress the urge to sharply inhale through his mouth. Youngbin was very amused. Well, fuck him for enjoying Alex' pain, with a grin like that. Had he no compassion for his idiot of a fake boyfriend?
As if to taunt him, Youngbin peacefully poked around on his plate, took another mouthful with relish and did not break a fucking sweat. God, that cocky fucking smile. That absolute bratty grin. What a strange fucking version of Youngbin that was sitting next to him right now. A version he really, weirdly, liked a lot. Alex stuck more noodles into his mouth.
"So are you gay?" Alex choked, not just on the spice of those fucking macaroni of all things but at Sohee's sudden question. He chewed, rather desperately, took a sip of water only to realise that water did in fact not make anything any better, ever, and patted his chest as he cleared his throat.
"I'm bi."
"Ah." Sohee nodded understandingly. "Okay, what does that mean?"
"Both. I mean, all. Like, I like men and women. And anything else, too."
"Ah." Sohee nodded again. "Okay, cool."
Silence, for a couple of seconds, an unusual silence. Dahyeon had stopped moving, so had Youngbin. Oh. Well. Hm.
"That's... interesting," Youngbin's mother now said, unmoving, staring at a point somewhere between Alex and Youngbin. "Those things young people do nowadays."
"I mean, it's not like being bi was made up two years ago, so-"
Youngbin tensed up, Alex could tell, and he really wanted to keep his mouth shut so bad, and not say anything about this topic anymore, but there was just something about Alex that quite frequently prevented him from doing just that.
"What do your parents think about this?"
"Nothing," Alex answered quickly, now looking Dahyeon directly in the eyes. They didn't know shit. They'd never know shit. "I haven't told them."
Dahyeon's face turned confused, her eyes darting from nothing to Alex and back.
"When will you tell them?"
"Not at all?" Alex pressed his lips together as he watched Dahyeon's expression change with every word he said, words he chose carefully and deliberately. "They wouldn't take it well if I told them, so why should I put myself through the trouble?"
"But they're your- parents."
"Well, yeah. But if I know that I could potentially put myself in danger by coming out to them, why should I? They're not, like, privileged to know this kind of stuff about me."
"I-" Dahyeon's shoulders tensed up, her face turned colder, visibly uncomfortable. "I do believe that, as a parent, you're supposed to know as much about your child as possible."
"And as a parent you're also supposed to support and love your child unconditionally." Alex paused for a second, watched both Dahyeon's and William's gazes turn guilt ridden. "If my parents can't give me some basic respect for who I am, I just won't bother to let them in on my life like that."
Silence, absolute silence, and Alex feared that maybe he had ruined it. Because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He glanced over to Youngbin, whose face had taken on that sickly expression again, and Alex kind of wished he could take him and wrap his arms around him and press him against his body once again.
And more to Youngbin than to his parents, he added:
"That's why I think Youngbin's one of the bravest people I know. He took a risk." He cleared his throat, and one of his hands disappeared underneath the table, nudging Youngbin's thigh just the slightest bit, and before Alex could remember that this was definitely against the rules, Youngbin's own hand slipped out of sight and interlocked a single finger with Alex. "That's why I'm proud of him."
Alex could hear a clock ticking that he hadn't even noticed before. Dahyeon's face had turned sour, and sad, and kind of offended. Whatever it was that was written into her face, she probably hated Alex now. Which would've been fine, usually, except that tonight out of all nights, his goal was actually to not make people hate him.
"I'm also proud of Youngbin," Sohee now said, quietly, and William nodded slowly, and Dahyeon didn't blink.
"Are we... done eating?" Dahyeon stood up slowly, without so much as looking at Alex. "There's still dessert." Everyone nodded, slowly, quietly, and Alex wished he could bang his head into the round mahogany table until he passed out or maybe died or something.
Dahyeon disappeared into the kitchen, William and Sohee staying where they were, awkwardly moving around in their seats, staring nowhere and everywhere.
Alex tucked on Youngbin's finger a little, in an attempt to maybe say sorry. But Youngbin, in response, let go of Alex' finger, and his heart stopped for a second, until he grabbed his entire hand instead, intertwining their fingers, and pulling up from underneath the table for his family to see.
It wasn't a genuine attempt at comfort anymore now that it wasn't hidden underneath a table cloth, Alex knew that, it was part of the act now, something to show and convince his family of, and perhaps that stung a bit. But, well, it shouldn't, because Youngbin saw an opportunity and used it, and happened to do exactly what they were here for tonight. But still-
But still. Alex pressed Youngbin's hand a little, and he did the same in return.
"The, uhm-" William sounded scarily insecure now. Alex barely knew the man and yet he could tell that his tone was awfully out of character. "The dessert, yakgwa, it's, uh, a honey cookie type of thing... Very delicious."
"I can imagine," Alex answered, and he tried to smile. Well, he'd already fucked up the evening, so, really, what was he still supposed to say?
"Dahyeon is an excellent cook, I have to say..." With an uncomfortable smile that Alex assumed to be a typical dad smile, William folded his hands on the table. "And she likes spices."
Alex nodded.
"Yes," he said, "I assumed she does."
"She-" William hesitated, leaned back in his chair, his gaze darting through the room. "She is a kind woman." His eyes had something sad about them now, like a puppy, though they weren't nearly as big and round as Youngbin's. He looked like he wasn't sure whether he had to convince Alex or himself of the fact that Dahyeon was, in fact, very kind and loving.
With a large elongated plate in her hands, Dahyeon returned from the kitchen, this time a bit less cold and guilty looking than before. Setting the plate down, she sat back on her chair, looked at her husband, at her daughter, but yet hesitated to give her son and his boyfriend a look as well. Alex had hit a nerve. He didn't really know if he was sorry just yet.
"This is a, how do you say it... A type of-"
"Honey cookie?" Alex finished her sentence. She nodded, and her eyebrows raised with a hint of surprise.
"Right. Have you tried it before?"
"No, I just-" Alex shot a glance towards William, who silently smiled and nodded. "I just knew." Okay. Let's go. That was his chance to make it a little better. If she didn't like him being hopelessly in love with her son, maybe he could simply be hopelessly in love with her food instead.
Hesitantly, he grabbed one of the small golden brownish cookies with his free hand, the other one still holding Youngbin's. She hadn't seen yet. Alex didn't know if he wanted her to see.
He stuck the dessert into his mouth. Well, shit, that was really good. Like, really really good. He hadn't tasted something like this before, hadn't really felt anything like that in his mouth before. The cookie had layers, it was soaked in sticky syrup that must've been made out of honey and something else Alex couldn't really pin down. On top of the cookie were a couple of sesame seeds, sprinkled as garnish. Those things looked as good as they tasted.
Well, fuck. Youngbin's mother really was an amazing cook, and Alex had just guilt tripped her to death. It wasn't like she didn't deserve that, but the chance of her making some more of these heavenly cookies had sunken to zero.
"Traditionally," Dahyeon explained as she stared at the large plate in the middle of the table where the mac and cheese pot had been a couple of minutes before, "these are made during special occasions and celebrations. I think today-" She looked like she hated herself for saying this. "-Is also quite special."
Now she finally looked at her son, and her son's hand that had been holding onto Alex tightly, displayed right there on the table. She sighed, quietly, then looked back into Youngbin's face.
"I'm happy you found someone that you believe is right for you." She didn't really seem all that happy, neither did she when she turned her head to Alex. "Welcome to-" She cleared her throat. "Welcome to the family, Alex."
Huh. Woah. Okay.
Alex assumed that she must've been waiting for the day to say something like this, though she probably rather would've welcomed a well behaved smart pretty girlfriend rather than some bisexual asshole punk. But to not make her life even harder, Alex smiled as gently as he could.
"Thank you for having me."
Youngbin's hand pressed his a bit.
"Welcome to the family," William repeated, a bit louder, causing his wife to flinch the slightest bit. "It's nice to have you, Alex. How do you enjoy the yakgwa?"
"As you had promised, William, it's amazing." Oooh, yeah, now he got it. Now he was back on track. He sounded so fucking eloquent and shit. "How is this made?"
He didn't really care that much about how it was made, rather he just enjoyed the fact that it was made.
"Family recipe," Dahyeon replied, along with William, and Sohee. So a secret. Okay. Maybe he could unlock that family recipe later in life, when he and Youngbin would decide to maybe fake marry as well while they were at it.
"You... Can take some home with you, I suppose." Alex' eyes lit up at Dahyeon's offer. Oh, she so did love her new son in law. "Maybe for your family to try as well."
For Margo and Lani to try, maybe. His parents didn't deserve a banging korean honey cookie like that. It wasn't like he was ever going to see them again in the near future though. It wasn't like they could ever find out what they were missing out on.
"Oh, I'd love to take some home, Dahyeon!" He tried to pronounce her name carefully, with a little bit of admiration, with twinkling eyes, with a smile as bright as one could be. "That'd be so lovely!"
"If dad leaves any for you," Sohee mumbled, staring at her father who shoved another one of those cookies into his mouth. A man with great hunger and a big heart, huh? Alex could vibe with him. "Maybe put some aside already...?"
Alex did as Sohee told him, stashing a couple of cookies on his plate with a satisfied smile. He'd thought of the time Leia had brought him traditional Chinese desserts for Lunar New Year back in January. Though they weren't self made- She'd bought them, and shared them. She always shared her food. That was how she showed love. Love? Well, that's how she showed whatever strange emotion it was that she was feeling.
Okay. Enough of that. No Leia thoughts in Youngbin's house allowed. How improper. How about some Youngbin thoughts instead? Alex looked over to his fake boyfriend, who had resorted to picking up cookies with his free left hand, his right one still grabbing Alex.
He quietly chewed, looked like he was thinking about something, then noticed Alex' look, turning his head as well to smile gently. He hadn't said anything in a while. Man. Fuck.
Alex' chest tightened a little. He'd managed to at least kind of turn it back around with Dahyeon, please her just a little, sucking up to her with praise and hunger for more honey cookies, but Youngbin-
"Glad you like it." Okay, nevermind, Youngbin didn't suddenly hate him and fell quiet as a result. And if he hated him, at least he was still talking to him. Okay. Good. "Mom's good at desserts."
"She's been making the same cake for his birthday for like 15 years now." Sohee grabbed another cookie, her fingers already sticky from its honey syrup that it had soaked in. "Always the same, some kinda choco-"
"Sachertorte," Youngbin and Dahyeon answered in unison.
"Which is just chocolate cake."
"It's a specific austrian c-"
"It's chocolate cake and mom has been making it for as long as I am alive," Sohee concluded. "But also it gets better with every year. In another life, she's a- dessert maker."
"A patissier, Sohee." Youngbin bit into another honey cookie.
Dahyeon looked so fucking flattered, smiling like Alex hadn't seen her smile before.
"Well, my brithday's August 16th, by the way, and I like strawberry cheesecake, just in case you have nothing to do that day," Alex said, trying to wink or something, and Youngbin chuckled, probably because he already knew the two wouldn't stay together long enough for Dahyeon to serve him anything for his birthday, other than the worlds coldest stare. What a shame, actually. He'd have to try and fail making cupcakes in his barely furnished kitchen again.
Dahyeon hummed, almost somewhat amused, and maybe she was starting to like Alex, or just tolerate him, but that was enough too.
"You do all flatter me. Someone has to keep this family fed, though, right?" She shot a look to Sohee, somewhat annoyed and yet kind of fond. "Since some of you can barely do it on your own?"
"Mom! I can cook noodles!"
"You can't live off noodles your whole life once you've moved out, Darling."
"You can, actually." Alex lifted his finger like he was holding a lecture. "I personally do live off noodles, and also sandwiches."
"See?" And now Sohee pointed at Alex, almost hitting Youngbin in the face with her finger in the process. "If he can, so can I."
"You live alone?" William now asked. "How old are you?"
"Just turned 19." Alex grinned. Ah, finally an actual accomplishment he could talk about without having to lie- or at least withholding information. "Moved out a couple of months ago. Small apartment and pretty cheap but it's livable."
"Do your parents pay for you?" Dahyeon lifted her brows, then looked over to Youngbin a couple of times.
"Worked a couple of jobs to afford it. I also, uh, do have a different support system. N-Not my parents though. They're-" -Just glad that I'm gone. Hm. Maybe he had to lie a little bit at least. "Not involved in my... stuff."
Maybe Dahyeon had gained a little more respect now, nodding as though in awe. Yeah, look at Alex, the guy with his own place to live. So responsible with his money, so hard working. Yes, he was completely broke most of the time, yes, he had risked his graduation in order to work for two years during school days, yes, his best friends parents were supporting him with everything they could, yes, the place was falling apart at the seams constantly. But Alex was a big boy because he had moved out.
"So how do you get home? Do you have a car?" How curious that it was the finances and material possessions that interested Dahyeon the most now.
"Oh, no, I took the bus." Alex grinned. As if he could afford a car. Or take the time to get a driver's licence in the first place. He knew how to drive, he'd known for years, driving a car was one of the few things his mother had taught him. But properly learning all those rules, and then taking a test? Wasn't his thing, really. "I'll actually still have to figure out when I'll have to catch my bus back."
Now, all four members of the Lee family fell silent, and stared at Alex. Dahyeon pressed her lips together, Sohee shrugged, William formed an 'O' with his mouth. Huh. Youngbin cleared his throat, and with a sigh, he carefully said:
"There's- You see, the bus line, it kind of isn't the best, especially on the weekend-"
"So that means...?"
"There's none. There's no more bus tonight."
Ah. Well fuck Rosebury and it's confusing infrastructure. It's bus lines that lead to every last musty corner of the town, and it's lack of bus drivers to actually get you to said corners in the first place, and it's lack of actual busses to actually drive at all.
"Then, I'll just, I guess I'll walk?" And get lost and die by a rabid raccoon bite or something.
"Or you could stay the night!"
William's proposal was met with- Well, for once, a hard "No" from Dahyeon, a cheerful "Yeah!" from Sohee, and one very confused "Huh- Wait-" from Youngbin.
"I mean-" Alex cleared his throat. "I wouldn't mind-"
"He's not staying overnight, William, are you insane?"
"Oh, why not? He's-"
"And sleep where, in Youngbin's bed?"
"It's not like that's a problem, come on, Dahyeon, they're both grown-"
Sohee giggled, and Youngbin finally pulled away from Alex to bury his face in both his hands.
"That is the problem," Dahyeon hissed, lowering her voice, but not yet enough for it to become inaudible in any way. "I am not letting him sleep w-"
"Love, we do have spare mattresses in the storage room."
"If anything, he can sleep on the couch."
"You can't let our guest sleep on the couch, Dahyeon, where's your hospitality?"
"What if-" Then something in Korean followed, and Alex was almost glad he didn't understand.
"Mom, please," Youngbin groaned, his head about to fall onto the table as he'd made himself smaller with every sentence from his parents, and every giggle of his sister. "Can you please stop thinking-"
"Just have him sleep on a mattress, love..."
"Okay, okay, fine. We'll get you a mattress. But don't even think about touching-" She pointed a finger at Alex, with an expression that so clearly said 'No Gay Sex Allowed In My House', and he took this warning very seriously!
"Mom, leave it, please-"
"Sohee can help you carry one to Youngbin's room, and you'll stay there."
Alex nodded heavily, until he started feeling a little dizzy actually. Huh. Okay. Well, that was an easy change of plan, Alex didn't even have to give his own opinion!
"Now." Dahyeon got up from her chair. "I'll be cleaning." She nodded to Youngbin. "You can help me do the dishes, please." Youngbin obeyed, got up, his face coloured brightly red, and Alex kind of had this urge to grin at him, to make fun of him, to kind of get back at him after that chilli incident, but he decided to be the bigger person. For now. He could still tease him later.
"Alex!" William leaned forward a little. "Would you be up for a glass of wine and a little chat?"
Oooh. A glass of wine. He sure was up for that. And a chat couldn't hurt either. Hopefully.
"Sure!" With a smile, the 'dad's favourite son in law' smile, Alex nodded.
"Ah, ooh, I've always wanted to do this!" William nearly jumped up from his chair as well as one could with a belly full of very yummy mac and cheese and very yummy cookies, and his smile was beaming. "The father-child's boyfriend-talk! T-Though I had assumed it'd be Sohee's boyfriend I'd be talking to..." William smiled, and walked around the dining table to wave Alex into the living room. Ah, yes, that talk.
Leia's father had done the same. Waved him into the living room and sat down across from him and stared at him very threateningly, and talked about how Alex was going to treat his daughter and how she was his little girl first and how he wouldn't tolerate any bad behaviour and blah, blah, blah. In the end, they still broke up, and Alex wasn't dead just yet, despite the conveniently placed display of Leia's father's gun collection right behind him as he talked.
But instead of a collection of weapons and one bleached looking american flag, the living room of the Lee family was decorated with more family photos, a couple of very beautiful and old looking art pieces, and a shit ton of books.
William sat down in a green seater, and right behind it was a shelf with maybe hundreds of books, a lot of them looking worn and well loved. Some of them looked like thick fantasy novels, some of them, in a separate shelf, rather seemed like scientific and medical books, arranged neatly by title. Alex was sure he'd seen Shakespeare pop up a couple of times, and some books had titles in korean that he couldn"t read, but that looked old enough to maybe still be school books from William and Dahyeon's time at university.
William poured two glasses of wine from a bottle that looked expensive but that Alex knew was a rather cheap one. It was still an okay one, certainly. Alex had tried worse drinks in his life.
With a proud smile, William presented Alex with a glass, then took the other one for himself and leaned back in his seat as he gestured at the sofa.
"Take a seat, Alex."
This was- a lot more comfortable. Being alone with William, that was. The man had a kind of aura that was hard to describe, he had a smile that looked a lot like Youngbin's sometimes, just more grown, maybe even more honest. A smile that had kind of gathered all the positive energy throughout his life, and that now radiated that same energy back at anyone that looked at him. Alex was pretty sure that this conversation wouldn't end in any threats.
"So!" William held up his drink to clink glasses, and Alex moved forward to take his invitation. "It's a good wine, it's a good one..." He swayed the liquid around, watched it with his dark gentle eyes.
"It is," Alex said. Three dollars a bottle, and barely tasted like wine. Maybe that's why he liked it in the first place.
"Now, I would let you taste some of my soju collection, but I can't have you be drunk... Oh, Dahyeon wouldn't like that..." William looked up from the glass, and attempted to wink. Weird, kinda, but also somewhat funny considering the nature of his and Youngbin's relationship.
"Now." William made an effort to look as comfortable as possible. "I'll have to say, Alex, I think what you're doing is very wonderful."
"Doing? What exactly am I doing?"
"What you're... Well, being. This whole bisexuality thing. You know, since I was young, I always thought, well, isn't it beautiful that people can fall in love with whoever they want? That people can just love people, and not their gender? I always thought it's beautiful."
"Well, it is, I guess."
"I always wanted to be the same, you know. I love Dahyeon because she's Dahyeon, and not because she's a woman, I suppose."
Ah. Good for him. Alex wasn't really sure if William was doing this intentionally, if he really was coming out as bisexual as well, or if he was completely unaware of the queerness of his words, but, sure. Good for him.
"And, uhm." Now William shifted in his seat a little. "I guess I do also owe you an apology. I hope- Well, I assume Youngbin told you about... What happened. When he told her."
Not in detail, not really. Just- about a bad reaction. Alex wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the details. Seeing him tired and sick and sad had been enough as well.
"She's not- She has to learn, you know. She grew up different. And she has this very specific picture of her children in her mind, and it- it throws her off, you know. It throws off that picture she had."
It felt like Alex wasn't the one that deserved this explanation. It wasn't him that had suffered because of it, after all. In fact, it really only was his fault that Youngbin even decided to come out. He didn't deserve to be told any of that.
"You're not what she had imagined for him. Neither have I, to be honest. But-" And now William smiled again. "You're what I think is right for him." Oh?
"H-how come you think that?"
"You're, well-" A sigh. "Don't tell him I said this, but I feel like you're everything he isn't. I mean, you're so, so different from him. He could learn from you. He could learn to be a bit less like what his mother imagined him to be. You could be a good influence."
Now that was something Alex had never been told. A good influence. If anything, he'd always been that kind of boy that parents would warn their kids about. Don't get involved with that fucker that skips school and picks fights and breaks noses and spends his little money on alcohol and tattoos and hair dye. That self destructive, egotistical, sick of life piece of shit. Well, William only knew him for a couple of hours, and Alex had put in a lot of effort to, for once, not be an unbearable asshole.
"To be honest," Alex now said, staring at the glass of wine in his hands, "I do think he's... a good influence to me as well. I think we fit together quite well."
And they did. It was hard to believe, impossible even, just three weeks ago, but there was something about them. Something about the way Alex and Youngbin worked together. And Alex couldn't even pin it down, he wasn't even sure what exactly had changed about him, but something had, and it had changed because Youngbin was there. Or because Leia wasn't there anymore, but he decided to rather blame it on Youngbin. Alex had become weirdly soft. Or, no, he'd been soft before, deep down, or maybe not that deep down, but somewhere inside him he'd been soft all along. Around Youngbin, for some reason, it wasn't really inside him anymore. It was just out there in the open.
Out in the open for Youngbin to see. And he didn't hate it as much as he expected.
"I do worry about him sometimes." William took a sip from his wine, letting out a sigh. "He's- Well. Different from the other kids. He's hard to read." Kind of, yeah. William was right. "And it's always been hard to figure out what he wants and what he needs. He makes himself small. He doesn't want to take up space." All while Alex loved taking up more space than necessary- "And I feel like you don't care about that as much." Oh. "I feel like you do take up space and you do it proudly. You speak well, Alex. You could speak for him, and then maybe he can learn to speak for himself."
Speak for him. Yeah. William got it all right, that kind of was the whole goal of this relationship. For Alex to speak when Youngbin wouldn't dare to. He got it.
"I do just... want to say thank you. I think you'll treat him right."
Leia's father had said the opposite back then. 'You're going to treat her wrong one day, and I'll make you pay.' Not verbatim, but it had about the exact same meaning. And now here was William Lee thanking Alex for loving his son. Oh man. And it wasn't even true. It wasn't even real.
This is where Alex should've been proud of his spectacular acting and his realistic portrayal of the world's best boyfriend. This is where he should've celebrated their fantastic performance. But now he was lying to a man that could never harm a fly, that really truly did feel grateful that Alex could love Youngbin dearly and truly and he didn't even love him like that.
Like that. Like that. That implied something, didn't it? That he-
"Of course I will." And if I won't, I might just kill myself or something.