Today I Met The Girl I'm Going To M... - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

I'm happy.
Not, Jennie and I just had sex happy, but still, I'm in a pretty good mood.
All is right with the world again.
Except...
No.
No exceptions.
But...
No.
No buts either.
I twirl around on my chair in the conference room while I wait for Tony to arrive.
It's meeting day!
And my funny feeling is back.
I wish it was a funny ha-ha feeling, instead of a funny yikes feeling though.
Instead of focusing on my queasy tummy I send my mind over to tonight.
Jennie and I are going out.
Just the two of us.
That was the deal I made when we negotiated my surrender.
I honestly thought I'd be in my bathroom all night but luckily my negotiation skills were able to broker a deal that Jennie and I could both accept.
I'm taking her out for dinner and she's not going to harm one single hair on my head.
I hope Jennie doesn't renege on our deal because I'm honestly scared at what kind of revenge plan she could cook up.
Hence my good mood.
More Jisoo and Jennie time.
Not to be confused with peanut butter jelly time.
Sorry, sorry, I got suckered into watching a Family Guy marathon with Rosé last night.
Anyway, funny feeling or not, I'm happy.
The thing is, I'm not convinced that I really am.
Oh you just had to sneak that thought in there, didn't you?
Damn.
Jennie and I still haven't talked.
About anything.
With each day that passes my resolve to initiate that key discussion dwindles.
I'd rather just forget about that whole ugly incident and our need to talk but I know I can't.
I can't because my feelings for her are growing stronger.
I can't because I spend so much of my time daydreaming about what us being together would be like.
Most of all, I can't because I go home every day by myself, instead of with Jennie.
And it hurts.
I'm trying to be strong for us. I'm trying to let my own feelings go unaddressed because I know that's what she needs.
But it's hard.
I'm probably just having a weak moment and soon enough I'll be able to get back into the right frame of mind.
The frame of mind where my unwavering patience pays off and Jennie and I live our happily ever after.
Sigh.
That day cannot come fast enough.
I'm mid twirl when I hear someone clear their throat.
I grab hold of the conference table to stop my chair and stand up.
Two men I don't recognize are looking at me like they're not sure they're in the right place.
I give them my best smile and extend my hand forward. "Jisoo Kim, pleased to meet you."
The man to my left, the man with dark hair and shifty eyes shakes my hand first. "Tony Young"
I inwardly cringe at how sweaty his hand is.
Ew.
Gross.
"I'm Ethan," the second man announces before he also shakes my hand.
No last name, he must be like Cher or Madonna.
Thankfully his hand is not disgustingly slimy like Tony's.
I know, I know, I'm projecting, but I get the feeling that Tony is undressing me with his eyes.
Double ew.
"Why don't we take a seat?" I gesture for them to sit down as that leech Tony continues to flash me a disgusting smile.
"You seem awfully young to be so good at your job," Tony remarks and then he winks at me.
Seriously?
If that's his best pick up line, he must have a hard time getting girls.
But this is business and I don't want to do anything to mess up Jennie's shot at making it big.
"I'm a quick study," I reply without punching him.
Ethan rolls his eyes at Tony and I instantly feel better that he's here. "We have a lot to cover so lets get started."
I shoot Ethan a very grateful look and then I get out my note pad.
Oops.
I tear off the first page quickly to avoid Tony or Ethan seeing what I was doodling yesterday.
I kept writing Jisoo and Jennie Kim with little hearts all over the place.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going to hyphenate my name but I wanted to test it out.
Yeah, I know, I'm hopeless.
I stuff the crumbled piece of paper in my pocket before I start talking. "I've been thinking a lot about how best to launch Jennie's..."
"Actually, we've already come up with a marketing plan," Tony cuts in.
Great.
There goes five hours of my life I'll never get back.
"Then what do you need me for?" I ask without sounding bitchy.
I mean, that is my job after all.
"We need your help to pull it off," Tony explains. "I've heard you're the best in the business."
Ok.
Back off buddy.
I can't stand the way he's leering at me.
I'm so going to need a shower after we're done.
"The plan is set," Ethan says drawing my attention back to him. "What we want you to do is create the buzz and the excitement. Before Jennie's album is released, we want her to be talked about everywhere."
In theory that sounds like a good idea.
But my trusty gut is making warning bells ring in my head.
"How exactly do you want that to happen?" I inquire with a lot of trepidation.
"Sorry we're late."
I know that voice!
Jennie's here!
Yay!
I turn my head to get a good dose of Jennie gawking in but my relief and joy at her presence is quickly kyboshed.
Habin's here too!
Boo!
Why is he in this meeting?
I bet the answer is moral support.
I'm fairly certain that answer is wrong seeing as Jennie won't make eye contact with me.
Uh oh.
What is going on?
"Jennie!" Tony exclaims as he stands up to greet her. "I'm so glad you and Hanbin made it." He kisses both her cheeks and I'm very close to kicking him in his balls sac. "You came at just the right time."
My whole body is tingling but unlike the other times I've been with Jennie, the tingles are not good ones.
"Great," Jennie mumbles under her breath while looking anywhere but in my direction.
Hanbin doesn't seem all that pleased to be in the same room with me either.
Something is not right.
Ethan leans forward once Jennie and Hanbin have taken their respective seats. "We want to focus our publicity campaign around Jennie and Hanbin's relationship..."
Oh god!
Relationship!
"...Wherever she goes, so will Hanbin..." Ethan continues without noticing how horrified I am.
Oh god!
"...We want pictures of them plastered in every magazine across the country so by the time Jennie's album hits the stores, everyone will be rushing out to buy a copy." Ethan sits back in his chair once he's done and I no longer like him.
Or Tony.
Or anyone is this fucking room for that matter.
Oh god!
Tell me this isn't happening.
Please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me this isn't happening!
"We want you to make Jennie and Hanbin rock royalty," Tony chimes in.
Oh god!
Jennie and Hanbin.
Jennie and Hanbin.
Jennie and Hanbin.
No!
No!
No!
I go numb.
Completely numb.
But I feel all their words in my heart.
"I know Hanbin's career isn't quite where Jennie is right now, but soon enough it will be, because he's going to ride her coattails," Tony smirks like he's a fucking music genius. "And when that happens the two of them are going to own the charts."
Oh god!
He needs to shut his stupid, fucking, horrible trap.
I feel Jennie's eyes on me but now I'm the one avoiding her gaze.
I can't do anything but stare at the two men across from me.
This is horribly wrong.
And excruciating.
Can't forget the sheer, undiluted pain that is cutting through the numbness I was feeling earlier.
"That's great," I somehow find the strength to get out. "Should work quite well."
"I know," Tony replies proudly. "Our plan is full proof."
Ethan, that fucker, is smiling like the sick maniacal bastard that he is. "We've scheduled a press conference for next week to introduce Jennie and Hanbin to the public..."
Jennie and Hanbin.
That doesn't sound even remotely as good as Jennie and Jisoo or Jisoo and Jennie.
"...And what you're in charge of is making sure that it gets the attention necessary," Ethan finishes.
Oh god!
Maybe if I click my heels together and repeat "there's no place like home" over and over again I'll be anywhere but this screwed up meeting.
How could she?
How?
Fucking how?
"Just give me all the details and you'll have nothing to worry about," I assure them.
Relationship!
Hanbin and Jennie's relationship!
Oh god!
Someone make this whole terrible nightmare go away.
"Why don't we discuss that over dinner tonight?" Tony suggests in such a sickening voice I nearly vomit on the spot.
"Can't, busy," I tell him without caring about that jackass's over-inflated ego.
"We'll send them to your secretary and call you later to hash out the details," Ethan says before Tony can hit on me again.
I still hate him.
Oh god!
I need to get out of here.
This instant.
"It was nice meeting you both," I lie as I stand up. "Don't worry about a thing. Jennie's career is in very good hands."
I think I might hate myself a bit too.
I should be telling Tony and Ethan off.
I say a hurried goodbye to everyone before I make the hastiest of exits.
I run past Bobby and Rosé who were spying on the meeting and into my office.
I can't believe what I just heard.
I can't believe what I'm expected to do.
I can't believe Jennie.
"Jisoo," I hear Jennie say behind me.
Oh god!
I'm short of breath.
And I refuse to turn around.
"I'm really busy," I reply with my back to her. "We'll have to catch up later."
She needs to disappear before I say something I'll regret.
"I'm sorry about that..." Jennie starts but I don't let her finish.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," I snap. "This is what has to be done in order to make you famous and successful, so yeah, that's what will be done."
Get out!
Now!
"Jisoo, please..." Jennie tries again.
I feel myself wanting to give in because of how upset she sounds.
Damn me!
Damn my lack of self control around her.
"It's fine, Jennie ." It so isn't. "Just go."
"Ok," Jennie responds despondently.
Don't go.
Fuck!
Stay and explain how in the world you failed to mention that by asking me to represent you I would be the one to introduce you and your boyfriend to the world.
Explain that!
Fuck!
Explain how unbelievably cruel that is.
Fuck!
"I'll call you later." Jennie says.
"Yeah sure, whatever," I reply without relenting and turning around.
She stands behind me for a few more seconds before finally giving up and going.
Once she's gone I make sure to lock my office door so Rosé and Bobby can't get in.
I can't face them.
I can't face anyone.
I need to be left the fuck alone.
My mom doesn't understand the meaning of the word no.
She came by to take me for lunch but I told her I had no time.
Apparently, that excuse wasn't good enough because I find myself sitting in an overcrowded restaurant with her anyways.
She's smiling and trying to get me to smile with absolutely no success.
I'm still reeling from my meeting with Jennie, Hanbin and those two assholes from her record label.
I don't even know what to think anymore.
I was being so patient with Jennie and look where that's gotten me.
Heartbroken.
Again.
And sick to my stomach.
"You haven't touched your food," my mom observes with a genuine look of concern on her face.
How am I expected to eat when I feel so damn lousy?
"Not hungry," I mumble as I move my meal around on my plate with a fork.
My mom puts her own cutlery down and clears her throat. "Ok, Jisoo, there's obviously something wrong, what is it?"
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
I'll tell you what's wrong!
And I do.
Everything.
The whole awful tale with some parts blacked out due to the fact that I'm telling this to my mother.
"You can go ahead and say I told you so," I inform my mom once I've finished.
She warned me.
I should have listened.
Mothers are always right.
"I would never do that," my mom replies sympathetically. "I know you're hurting, Jisoo, but maybe Jennie's feelings for you aren't that easy for her to deal with."
What you talking about mom?
She can't be taking Jennie's side.
Right?
"I mean, she moved her whole life across the country and brought Hanbin with her," my mom continues to my disbelief. "And then you came into her life and turned everything upside down."
So.
Uhm.
Not really liking my mom right now.
"Imagine how confusing this must be for her." Perhaps my mom has lost her fucking mind. "She's with Hanbin but she's falling for you. Imagine the guilt and betrayal that must be causing her to feel."
I look around for hidden cameras but sadly there are none.
My mom is actually taking Jennie's side.
This sucks!
"You said Jennie has known Hanbin her whole life; he must be like some sort of safety blanket to her," My mom keeps going, even though I'd really like her to shut up. The pathetic part is, I'm actually agreeing with some of her points. "It's not easy coming out, you know that, maybe Jennie just needs more time and understanding from you."
My mouth opens but my mom has rendered me speechless.
She thinks all that?
Unbelievable!
I've been patient and fucking understanding!
I have!
Right?
My mom places her hand over mine. "I think you just have to hold out a bit longer and give Jennie some room to breathe, that's what she needs."
"What about me?" I shout a lot louder than I mean to. "What about what I need?"
"Exactly," My mom replies and I'm more confused than ever.
I let out an exasperated sigh. "What?"
"You're so busy worrying about Jennie that you've forgotten to worry about yourself," my mom explains. "Yes, love means sacrificing your own feelings at times but not at your own expense. Not when you're torn up inside and not when it causes you to get your heart broken."
Oh.
I see what she just did.
That sneaky bugger!
"You're a beautiful, caring, wonderful person who deserves to have someone love them without all this other stuff that seems to be getting in the way." My mom keeps her hand covering mine. "You keep avoiding what you need to do and you keep getting hurt, you have to stop avoiding this, Jisoo."
"What if..." I'm not sure I should be asking this question. "What if she doesn't choose me?"
I hold my breath as I wait for my clever mom's answer.
"You don't chose who you love, love chooses you," my mom replies.
I take a big gulp of water to moisten my parched mouth. "How are you ok with this when Jennie's with Hanbin? I mean, I know you must disapprove of what I'm doing?"
I know a part of me does.
I've thought a lot about this since Jennie left my office this morning.
Maybe I'm being punished for pursuing Jennie when she's attached.
A kick in the pants from Karma because I know what it's like to be in Hanbin's shoes.
I was there.
And felt the horror that being cheated on feels like.
It was Ethan's damn use of the word relationship that flooded me with those thoughts.
I was able to deny who Hanbin was to Jennie before, but I don't think I can do that anymore.
Neither of them said no to that idiotic rock royalty plan.
If they weren't a couple, surely one of them would have spoken up.
Right?
"Just because I might not agree with you, doesn't mean you don't have my support," my mom assures me with that mom tone of hers. "What I think doesn't matter, you're already in love with Jennie and from what you've told me, she has feelings for you as well."
Ha!
Good one!
Ok, ok, I know that she probably does, but I'm allowed a moment to wallow.
"I love you, Jisoo, and whatever happens I'll be in your corner," my mom promises. "But you know what you have to do."
Yeah.
Unfortunately I do.
I got a text from Jennie during lunch asking me if we were still on for tonight.
I sent her back a message saying yes.
I spent all afternoon debating on whether or not to bite the bullet.
It's only when I pull into Jennie's driveway that I make my mind up.
I exit my car and walk up to Jennie's door ready to face what I've been avoiding for too long.