Today I Met The Girl I'm Going To M... - Chapter 55: Chapter 55

I don't think I'm ever going to leave my apartment again.
I have everything I need right here.
Well, not everything but if you had Jennie naked in your bed, would you leave?
See, I have every reason to stay where I am.
When I woke up this morning, Jennie was already awake. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, was her smiling face and for the second day in a row, I got up in a fantastic mood.
My mood only got better when I saw that Jennie had made breakfast for me. Ok, ok, it was more like she brought me a bowl of cereal, but it's the thought that counts. Besides, she told me she wanted to cook me a big hearty breakfast but cereal was all I had.
Regardless of the food choice, it was fun having another meal with Jennie.
In bed.
Naked.
I will admit that my body is a tad sore today.
I'll gladly deal with an ache here or there because the memories I have of yesterday will last for a very long time.
Surprisingly though, Jennie and I have not had sex.
Yet.
I'm fine with that.
No, seriously.
I'm not with Jennie only for sex.
The fact that the sex we've had has been incredible is wonderful, but I love being with her in any way.
Whether it's in the throws of passion.
Sharing a laugh.
Having a deep conversation.
Or just lying in her arms.
Which is what I'm doing now.
Any of those things brings me joy.
After breakfast we had a super scorching make out session filled with hot, intense kisses. Our hands wandered occasionally as did our lips but for the most part we just kissed. We'd break apart when oxygen was needed and during that time we'd hold each other's gaze only to start all over again seconds later.
It may seem odd that our kissing didn't lead to sex but I enjoyed it all the same. It built this tension between us and I felt so connected to Jennie that I left was more than satisfied. Feeling Jennie and being pressed against her body sent me on euphoric high that didn't need an orgasm at the end to get any better.
We tired ourselves out and ended up falling asleep with Jennie spooning me from behind. That's another feeling that I can't get enough of.
She makes it seem like nothing bad can touch me.
I hope I'm able to make her feel the just as safe when I'm holding her.
We woke up a little while ago and haven't really moved since then. I don't think I've ever been this content doing nothing.
I am so comfortable.
My eyes are closed, Jennie's naked body is behind me and her face is nuzzled in the back of my neck.
There's hardly any conversation taking place.
And that's ok.
We've done a lot of talking since she showed up at my apartment and it's nice after all the ups and downs we've been through lately to enjoy the peacefulness of this day.
The shrill ring of my phone invades the quiet sanctuary that I'm enjoying with Jennie.
I knew I shouldn't have let her convince me to put it back on the hook.
She said that someone could be trying to reach us and whatever they wanted could be important. I hated the logic she used because it made give in. I was quite happy living in a cocoon with no contact from the outside world.
But, I guess life doesn't really work that way.
Too bad!
"Are you going to answer that?" Jennie murmurs as she keeps her arms firmly around my body.
I blindly reach for the phone because the effort it would take to actually open my eyes doesn't seem worthwhile. "Hello," I mumble without checking who's calling.
"Finally!" Rosé exclaims at an extraordinarily high volume. I'm thinking she might have popped my eardrum that's how loud she was. "Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to reach you?"
"Sorry," I reply even though I'm not. "I've been busy."
Yeah I have!
Woo!
"I bet you have," Rosé says and I can picture the smirk she must be sporting very clearly. "But spare me the details please."
"No need to worry," I gleefully laugh. "I'm not one to kiss and tell."
Or experience the best sex of my life and tell.
I'll save that nugget for another time, when Jennie isn't close by.
"So you and Jennie are all good then?" Rosé asks.
"We're great," Jennie answers for me.
I told you Rosé was talking way too loud.
Jennie places tiny and gentle kisses behind my ear as Rosé screams a few profanities at me for not informing her that Jennie could overhear what she was saying.
It's not my fault.
I let her rant however because she's earned the right to some slack.
I almost hang up the phone when she won't stop yelling, but I restrain myself somehow. "Are you done yet?"
"Don't get testy with me young lady," Rosé says in what I assume is an attempt to get tough with me. "I'm just surprised that you didn't call after what's been going on regarding Jennie and her album."
Huh?
What is she talking about?
"What are you talking about?" I inquire with genuine curiosity
"Stop pulling my leg, Jis," Rosé before she puts me on hold.
I have got to tell my dad that the hold music we have at the office is just dreadful.
"I wonder what Rosé means," Jennie muses in between more kisses to the back of my neck.
"No clue," I respond as I try to keep the phone from dislodging from my ear. "She's an oddball."
"I heard that, bitch," Rosé snaps.
Oops.
Someone came back earlier than I thought they would.
"Heard what?" I'll just play dumb and hope it works. "And I honestly have no clue what you are talking about."
Rosé sighs. "You do own a computer, right? And a TV."
"Of course I do." Remember, this is the girl that helped Jennie with her plan. Be nice!
"So, you must have seen the stories," Rosé states.
I'm way too lazy to continue going in circles.
"Jennie and I haven't turned on the TV or my computer," I tell Rosé in hopes that she'll just spill whatever news I supposedly should have heard.
"Oh my god!" Rosé squeals. "You have got to be kidding me."
Sigh.
How rude would it be if I just hung up now?
Relax, I wasn't actually going to go through with it.
"I'm not kidding," I say as I start to perk up.
Something has got Rosé's knickers in a knot.
"I don't even know where to start," Rosé starts breathing heavy and I'm a bit concerned that she might be hyperventilating.
"Why don't you start at the very beginning?" A very good place to start.
"Oh my god, ok, that's a good idea." Rosé must have had too much caffeine today; I've never heard her so frazzled. "Jennie's little declaration has been playing nonstop on all the major news shows."
Say what?
"It's like a mega huge story," Rosé explains. "Someone posted the video of it on YouTube and it already has over 5 million hits."
No way!
That's insane.
Insanely awesome that is.
"Our phones haven't stopped ringing with people wanting to know more about her and to give their support to Jennie for standing up to her record label," Rosé continues and I can't even ask her any questions because I'm so ecstatic at her news. "She's getting tons of requests for interviews and calls from other record companies it's been crazy."
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
I guess it won't be Super Jisoo to the rescue.
Not that I care really, as long as Jennie gets everything she deserves.
"Are you serious?" I ask even though I know she is.
"Of course I am," Rosé screeches.
"What's the plan?" I ask as I sit up and slip right back into work mode. "We have to mobilize and sift through..."
"Easy tiger," Rosé says before I can finish. "Your dad is putting me and Bobby in charge of organizing everything and he told me to tell you that he'll go over everything with you and Jennie on Saturday when he gets home from his trip."
That doesn't seem right to me. "But..."
"He was quite clear on his instructions," Rosé cuts in once again. "He wants you and Jennie to enjoy your time together. Plus he said that a little mystery surrounding Jennie will only fuel the public's interest in her."
And that's why my dad's company is successful.
He knows exactly how to play the game.
Better than most people I've met.
"How does he know about me and Jennie?" I ask when I realize that nobody besides Rose should have any idea we're a couple.
"When the story broke both your mom and dad tried to reach you and when they couldn't, they called me," Rosé replies.
Oh my god!
My mother!
She's going to kill me for not letting her know I'm not upset anymore.
Rosé was so distracting I forgot all about her.
Crap!
"Don't worry, I handled both of them for you," Rosé says and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. "Just another thing you owe me for."
I chuckle. "I'm really working up quite a tab with you."
"Yeah, you are," Rosé teases. "And I already know how you're going to start settling your bill. You and Jennie are coming out with me tomorrow night."
I glance over at Jennie and I think she nods ok.
I'm not sure because she's still stunned by everything Rosé just said.
"Ok, but now we're even," I joke.
I know my friend.
That won't be enough to satisfy her.
"Nice try, Jis, but that's just the tip of the iceberg," Rosé responds just like I knew she would.
I snap my fingers in front of Jennie's face but she doesn't blink.
That's strange.
"Did my dad say what time we're meeting on Saturday?" I ask as my concern for Jennie increases.
She's acting odd for someone who just found out she doesn't have to give up her dream career.
"Your parents want you and Jennie to come over for dinner on Saturday and then he'll talk to you after." Rosé explains.
Whoa.
Wait.
I'm bringing my girlfriend over for dinner at my parent's house.
Yay!
I love the sound of that.
Jennie tries to get up but I pull her back and shake my head. "I've got to go,Rosé, we'll confirm plans for tomorrow later."
"Not a problem. Don't wear yourself out too much." Rosé's teasing is lost on me as I try to figure out what is wrong with Jennie.
I say goodbye to Rosé and once I hang up the phone I notice how upset Jennie looks.
"I wasn't leaving," Jennie says before I get the chance to ask her why she's acting so strange. "It's just..."
"It's just what?" I inquire when she doesn't finish her sentence.
Jennie stares at me as I wait patiently for her to answer.
I'm not going to push Jennie.
That won't help the situation at all.
Jennie adjusts the covers over the top half of her body. She clutches the sheets around her as she drops her head. "I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."
I'm lost.
I reach for Jennie's hand and when it's in mine, I use my thumb to caress her skin. "What do you mean?"
After many painful seconds pass, Jennie looks up and I cringe at the tears that have begun to fall.
Why is she crying?
I thought we were done with them and had moved on to happy times.
It's killing me not to pepper Jennie with questions but her feelings and what's she going through are more important than my need to know what's in her head.
Jennie opens her mouth to talk but nothing comes out.
"Take your time, Jen," I whisper as I keep my distance from her. "I'm not going anywhere."
Jennie takes a deep breath and then another before she's ready to let me in. "That night at the bar when you sang to me..."
Uhm.
She realized what I was doing?
Ok.
That's not important.
"You have no idea how much I loved what you did," Jennie smiles at me and I return her smile despite how anxious I am right now. "Nobody has ever sung to me in front of a huge crowd like you did."
That's good.
Right?
"I'm supposed to be this rocker and I guess anyone who was ever interested in me before never thought I'd like that kind of gesture." Jennie is speaking quietly but at least she's talking. "But there you were just doing something so amazing and you did it so well."
At least she liked it.
"When I got home that night as happy as I was I couldn't figure out why you of all people would go through so much trouble for me." Her shoulders sag an that makes my heart ache.
I don't understand why Jennie thinks that way.
"I'm not explaining myself well," Jennie says as another big sigh escapes her mouth.
I give Jennie an encouraging smile. "You're doing just fine."
Jennie shakes her head but she keeps going. "Growing up as you know my parents were hardly around and I always thought in the back of my mind that the reason they weren't was because of me. That there was something wrong with me and that's why they never game me a proper home."
Oh my god!
That's so sad!
"I tried so hard to be perfect and never act out because I thought that if I was, they'd notice me once in a while but that didn't work. So when I got older I stopped caring about being perfect and went the other way completely," Jennie continues as I keep my big mouth shut.
I swear if I ever run into Jennie's mom I'm going to beat her down.
How could anyone make Jennie feels so horrible about herself?
It's awful.
"Whenever people found out I was the daughter of a rock star they almost always assumed I had such a great life. That just because I had money that fact alone meant I was happy. Everyone assumed wrong. Then when I became this rock star wannabe rebel, people assumed that all I cared about was partying or playing music or going from one girl to another because that's what rock stars are supposed to do" Jennie squeezes my hand and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she's struggling to express herself.
I squeeze back like she needs me to.
I want to hold Jennie and tell her that I'll make everything better.
But I know that isn't going to help and what she needs from me instead is just to listen.
I can do that.
"I never got asked if I wanted something more or what I ever really wanted. Girls came onto me because of my name or my supposed reputation and none of them saw the real me. The me I kept hidden because I was afraid when they saw that person, I'd get rejected just like I got rejected by my parents." Silent tears fall from Jennie's beautiful brown eyes and I want to wipe each and every one of them away.
I restrain myself and hope that when she's done I can get rid of her pain.
"And then you came along and you didn't even know who my dad was." I always thought that was a bad thing. "You knew nothing about my past and you never made one assumption about who I was."
I might have made one or two.
But nothing to the extent that Jennie felt in her past.
"I let you see more of the real me than I have anyone besides Hanbin." Jennie pauses for a bit and then she picks up right where she left off. "It was nice not pretending but at the same time it was hard to do because I've gotten so used to having my defenses up that I didn't quite know how to let them down."
I wish I would have talked to Jennie sooner about what I was feeling.
That thought hasn't changed.
But maybe in some weird way it was a good thing that we got to know each other under the guise of friendship so we wouldn't have to do that fake pretending thing people do sometimes when they first start dating.
Just an observation.
"And then you surprised me the next day, which only made me fall for you even more." Aw that's sweet of her to say. "But after telling you about my past I started getting worried all over again."
Really?
I assumed she felt better after getting that off her chest.
"I was worried that if I showed you anymore of me, you'd run the other direction," Jennie explains as her voice falters.
Oh god!
All those times I bolted from Jennie, she must have assumed the reason I did was because of her instead of the reason being me.
Hey now, this isn't about you, remember?
"When I held Yeri I couldn't fathom how anyone could look in a child's face and not love them completely. I was even more convinced that I was somehow unlovable for my parents to leave the job of raising me to the various nannies I had throughout the years." No one should be made to feel that way, no one.
Jennie is one of the most loveable people I've ever come across.
Hell, I think I loved her the first time I saw her.
"I didn't call you those days after Disney not because of you, but because of me. So much of me playing hot and cold with you was because of my own insecurities, not because I didn't know what I felt for you," Jennie says as our eyes remain on each other.
Jennie and I have a lot in common.
And it's really eye opening to finally understand why she behaved the way that she did.
Right or wrong, regardless of the hurt her actions caused me, despite Jennie ultimately being responsible for the decisions she made, years of feeling unwanted played a huge part in her interactions with me.
"I was so terrified that if I let you in anymore you'd see what my parents saw and you'd figure out what a mess I am." Jennie's tears haven't stopped falling, not even for a little while. "I just don't get why all these good things are happening to me and a big part of me is waiting for someone to realize their mistake and take it all away."
"That isn't going to happen," I assure Jennie as I remain in my spot. "You deserve every fantastic thing in your life because you are a fantastic person."
Jennie shakes her head. "No, I'm not. I'm a mess."
I know we agreed to leave everything in the past.
But I also know that it's easy in theory, hard in practice.
"No, you aren't," I tell her with a ton of conviction. "I could never fall in love with you if you were."
Jennie refuses to believe me.
I'll just have to make her.
I decide to go with my gut and move by Jennie's side. I put her head on my shoulder and give her a kiss to the forehead. "You listen to me, Jennie, and you listen good. Whatever reason your parents had in their minds for not giving you a good home have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them."
I feel my shoulder getting wetter as I speak.
"You are not to blame, they are." I lift her chin up so we're making eye contact again. "You might not believe me right now, but I will get you to believe it because it's true."
"One of the reasons why I fought my feelings for you is because I didn't understand why someone as perfect as you could ever love me back," Jennie confesses.
Uhm.
What?
Jennie has met me right?
I am so not perfect, it's not even funny.
"I love you, Jennie, because you sang along with Annie even though you probably didn't want to admit you knew all the words like I did." I get the tiniest of smiles from Jennie and that makes me happy. "I love you because you never made me feel bad about myself when I did something clumsy or embarrassing."
That's reason enough I tell you.
"I love you because when I let you see the vulnerable side of me, you made me feel like I didn't have to hide that side anymore." I really could go on forever. "I love that you wanted to give a special night and you did it like it was no big deal when it was such a big deal. That prom night was by far the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever put together for me. And it wasn't a special night only because of that, it was special because I got to share it with you."
Jennie is still crying but I think I'm might be reaching her.
"I love you because you have the most adorable nose crinkle that I've seen in my entire life." I get a nose crinkle from that comment, which makes me smile as well. "I love you because you are passionate, caring, attentive, sweet, charming and honestly there's a ton of other things I could name but we'd be awake all night."
"I know. I'm amazing," Jennie says like she believes it but I'm not a hundred percent sure she does.
"You really are," I reply as I start to get emotional myself. It's not right that she should ever feel like she's not worthy. "You are exactly the person I've needed and wanted to come along and I don't ever want you to doubt that."
"I love you so much, Jisoo," Jennie whispers as she takes in what I've told her.
"I love you too," I respond honestly and sincerely. "I'm not perfect, Jen, and neither are you, but what I do believe is that we're perfect for each other.
Jennie nods her head and then she does the unexpected, she bursts out laughing. "You stole that whole thing from Good Will Hunting."
Oops.
Busted!
"See, I'm not perfect," I sheepishly reply. "Instead of giving you something from my heart, I borrowed it from a movie." Dang, I thought it sounded profound. "Regardless of the source, the sentiment is true. I don't ever want you to try and be perfect, all I want you to be is Jennie, yourself, the woman I'm madly in love with."
Jennie gives me an even bigger nose crinkle smile before our arms wrap themselves around each other.
I know this isn't the last time this subject will come up but I think and pray it will happen less frequently from now on.
I understand why Jennie can't get over her insecurities just like that, it takes time to undo years of thinking one way. But I'm going to help her just like she's helped me.
Even though this hasn't been the easiest dialogue to have with Jennie, I'm glad it happened.
Not because I ever want Jennie to be upset but because we worked through it, together.
She didn't clam up and I gave her the support she needed.
That's growth.
That's progress.
Real progress, that gives me hope that we really have learned from our past mistakes.
I'm confident our relationship will only grow stronger from this point forward.
And I'm also confident that the idea of a happy and long future together, will become reality.
**
"You've turned me into a real cry baby," Jennie announces out of the blue.
We're still in bed together.
We haven't moved since Jennie really opened up to me.
I know it isn't easy for her to expose herself like that.
And I don't mean her nakedness.
I'm able to express my emotions somewhat better but l know from experience that when there's a side of you that you're not comfortable with, showing someone that side can be frightening.
It's like coming out. You keep your true self hidden from everybody and only when you feel the time is right or you can't keep your feelings bottled up anymore, do you let people see you for who you are.
It's never easy and you can struggle with being yourself, but in the end you feel like you don't have to lie anymore.
That's what I want Jennie to feel.
"This isn't easy you know." Jennie takes a deep breath. "Talking to you so freely, I'm not used to it." A soft sigh comes from her lips and once again I let her lead the way of how this conversation is going to go. "I don't want you thinking I'm weak or anything."
I watch as Jennie closes her eyes and I can feel her whole body tensing up. "Hey," I say as I move even closer. I reach out and run my index finger along Jennie's cheek causing her eyes to reopen. "I would never think that." Her brown orbs flash uncertainty. "Showing strength doesn't come from bottling your emotions up," I whisper before I place my lips very lightly on hers. I pull back and throw my arm around Jennie. "Letting someone see your insecurities and fears takes real courage." I give Jennie another soft kiss. "And I didn't steal that line from anywhere, it's a Jisoo Kim original."
I get a soft chuckle from Jennie and a true smile. "Good to know because otherwise I'd start to question whether or not to listen to your sage advice."
I realize how uncomfortable Jennie must be and yet she hasn't shut down because she knows it's important for her not to. Her insecurities and doubts aren't going to disappear just because of one talk, and that's ok. I will be here for Jennie in whatever way she needs to get her to see herself like I do. Before the mood changes however, there's one question I want to ask. "Why did you come back to see me the next day after I told you I loved you?" I keep my tone light so Jennie doesn't get on the defensive. "To tell me that you were in love with Hanbin, I mean."
That question has been on my mind for some time now.
"When you confessed that you were in love with me I panicked, as per usual," Jennie starts and I'm glad she's not shunning my question. "I wanted to tell you I felt the same way so badly but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that seeing you when we worked together would make it even more difficult for me to keep my feelings inside so I thought if you believed I was with Hanbin, you'd move on."
"I see," I reply, and I can understand even more so why the events between Jennie and I unfolded the way they did.
"I really am sorry, Jisoo," Jennie says as her demeanor turns sober. "I know we said we weren't going to bring it up anymore but I really want you to know how much I regret hurting you."
"I know you do." I don't think it's wise to keep rehashing the past, but at the same time I get why Jennie has to say it again.
Jennie gazes intently at me as tension fills the room once more. "I'm not easy."
"That's not what I heard," I joke even though I know she's trying to be serious.
It's a reflex.
"I meant to be with," Jennie clarifies but she does give me a slight smile.
She's wrong.
Being with Jennie is far easier than I ever imagined.
It was getting to this point where we are that was hard.
"I know," I say as I nod my head, "but we've already been through so much together and worked past it, let's just take it one day at a time." Before Jennie can quip at my cliché, I keep talking. "Why do you think you're not easy to be with?"
"I can be really moody," she tells me.
That's not so bad.
I've been known to have an off day here or there.
What?
"You should see me when I don't get my coffee first thing in the morning," I retort.
Eventually my Jennie high will fade and she'll see what a monster I can be when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
No use in hiding what she'll find out soon enough.
Well, not too soon, I imagine the novelty of waking up with Jennie will keep me chipper for at least the next six months or so.
Give or take a couple of decades.
"Sometimes I push people away even when they're trying to help me," Jennie says and I can already feel that she's more relaxed.
I smile as our game continues. "I can be really pushy even when people don't want to be pushed."
The twinkle is back in Jennie's eyes. "I can be quite the cover hog."
She isn't but maybe that's because so far I've only slept in her arms. "I snore." I roll my eyes and then add, "apparently."
"I like being the one who holds the remote control," Jennie banters with an even bigger smile, nose crinkle included.
It's getting harder and harder not to laugh. "I don't like to share."
"I'm never wrong," Jennie smirks.
"I always think I'm right," I smirk right back. "Always."
"Now that I don't doubt," Jennie teases as her tone gets cheeky.
"Hey!" I exclaim as I hit her shoulder, playfully of course. "That was not necessary." I flip around and even though Jennie can't see it, I pout.
"Jisoo," Jennie says as she tries unsuccessfully to get me to look at her. "Don't make me tickle you."
"Fine," I dramatically sigh before I'm back gazing at the beauty in my bed. "But I still think you're mean."
Jennie rolls me on my back and then she sucks on my bottom lip. We kiss without getting carried away and that's no easy task considering what a good kisser Jennie is.
"I love you," Jennie whispers as she hovers above me.
"I love you more," I whisper back and I've never felt closer to Jennie both physically and emotionally as I do in this moment.
"Not possible," she replies sweetly against my lips before we kiss again.
As hard as baring herself was for Jennie, in the end she'll be stronger for it.
And so will we.
Because now, I am confident that her pledge not to go anywhere is one she will not break.
I miss Jennie!
I miss her so much!
She's gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Boo!
Hiss!
Before you panic and worry that Jennie took off on me, I do know where she is, but that doesn't make me miss her any less.
She's with Hanbin.
I know!
You'd think that she'd pick sexy time with me over Hanbin!
Ok, ok, I'm not being fair when, in fact, it was my idea for her to leave.
Well, our idea actually.
Tonight we're going out with Rosé and because Jennie hasn't left my side since Tuesday, she has nothing to wear.
As hot as it would be for her to go clubbing naked, I'm not all that keen for anyone to see Jennie's hot, nude body, except for me.
And what a body it is!
Now I miss her even more than I did a second ago.
I half-heartedly offered to take her back to her place but Jennie had the brilliance to suggest that Hanbin pick her up.
Brainy girls are such a turn on!
I am getting very distracted but it's not my fault. Exactly 2 hours and 33 minutes have passed since Jennie left.
Damn, I have it bad!
If I wasn't such a lazy ass I could be with her right now!
Maybe, just maybe, I'm overreacting.
Maybe.
I've just gotten used to having her around.
Talking to her.
Touching her.
Kissing her.
Sharing a romantic, candlelight bath with her.
Having hot tamale sex with her.
Oh god!
I need to find something to pass the time or I'll go stir crazy.
We've already texted each other a bunch of times and it's reassuring that she's just as pathetic as me.
Eventually Hanbin took her phone and sent me a text saying he was two seconds away from not bringing her back if we didn't stop.
Boo!
Hiss!
The douche is back!
At least I haven't been sitting around doing nothing.
No, honest, I haven't.
I've been very productive I'll have you know.
I've cleaned up my place, I've changed my bed sheets, I've put in a load of laundry and I've had a shower.
Alone.
Boo!
Hiss!
Now I'm all refreshed and Jennie isn't due home for another hour.
Sigh.
I don't think it's normal to be feeling this way.
Oh well, I've never claimed to be normal in the first place.
I called Rose to confirm our plans but she didn't have a lot of time to chat and I'm still trying to think of things I can do to kill some precious minutes until the return of my love.
Still thinking.
And I've got nothing.
I'm sitting on the edge of my bed in only my white boy shorts and nothing else.
I bet I know what Jennie would want to do if she where here with me.
No!
I cannot go there.
I walk over to my closet to pick out something to wear.
I rifle through my clothes until my eyes find something that makes me stop.
I think I've got it!
I get my outfit together and then I head for the living room.
It's dancing time!
Woo!
It's a good thing Jennie will never see what I'm about to do because if she did, I'm pretty sure she'd think I was a total dork.
In her eyes I'm only half of one, so we'll just keep this our little secret.
I get the song ready and walk out the room to prepare for my performance.
I hit the play button before tossing the stereo remote to the side.
Just as the first note hits I slide across my hardwood floors in my white socks that I just put on.
I have my hairbrush firmly in my hand as I turn around.
Just take those old records off the shelf
I sing along with the music and I'm a bit surprised that I know the words.
I sit and listen to them by myself
I stand in the door frame as I get jiggy with it.
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I start to move forward and I have to admit, I'm not thinking about Jennie all that much.
I like that old time a-rock 'n' roll
When I get to the far wall I shake my groove thing.
Don't try to take me to a disco
You never even get me out on the floor
I whirl around as I get even more into my routine and fling my hairbrush across the room.
In ten minutes I'll be late for the door
I like that old time a-rock 'n' roll
I leap onto my coffee table and then I turn the collar of my white button down shirt up. I only have the three middle buttons done so part of me is covered while my stomach is not.
Still like that old time a rock 'n' roll
That kind of music just soothes my soul
I jump back on the ground, landing on my knees and air guitar my ass off.
I reminisce about the days of old
I thrust my hips in the air in time to the beat.
I must say, I'm really kicking it!
Old school!
With that old time a...
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes."
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
No!
How did Jennie get home so quickly and how on earth did she get into my apartment?
Oh my god!
Shit!
I knew I shouldn't have given her the keys.
She's caught me completely off guard and not in a good way at all.
At all!
I'm out of breath not because of my dancing.
I'm freaking out.
Freaking out!
Jennie just saw me doing something I never, ever wanted her to know I do.
Ever!
Oh my god!
I feel all the blood in my body rush to my face and I can't even look her in the eyes.
I am so embarrassed.
Mortified!
Humiliated even!
"Jisoo," Jennie calls out my name but I barely hear her. "What's wrong?"
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
I'll tell her what's wrong!
Actually, no I won't.
Instead of facing Jennie, which I cannot do, I stand up and run into my bedroom before Jennie has a chance to stop me.
Oh god!
I lock the door as I berate myself even further for letting Jennie see me like that.
What was I thinking?
I should have known that somehow she'd catch me.
She seems to have this knack for being there for moments I really wish she didn't witness.
I have the wherewithal to know I'm being unreasonable but I'm too embarrassed to act rationally.
"Jisoo, open up," Jennie commands as she jiggles the door handle.
"No, go away," I shout back as I head for my bed and hide under the covers.
If I stay really quiet, maybe Jennie will get the hint and leave me alone.
"Jisoo," Jennie exclaims. "Don't be embarrassed."
Ha!
Easy for her to say!
"Please open the door," Jennie pleads as she tries the handle again. "Please."
I put my hand over my mouth in case my brain doesn't cooperate and makes me talk.
I don't hear anything except the rapid beating of my heart.
Yes!
Jennie got the hint!
"Do you remember the first day we met?" Jennie asks from the other side of the door.
Fuck!
She's not doing what I told her to do.
And to answer her question, of course I remember that day!
Hello!
I have that memory burned into my mind.
I stay silent however but I am listening to her.
"I actually caught a glimpse of you as you talked with Bobby and Rose," Jennie continues.
She did!
Wow!
I had no idea.
I hear Jennie sigh. "I thought you were really attractive but to be honest I thought you were another pretty face in a power suit that probably was all business."
Gasp!
What?
It wasn't love at first sight for her!
Now I feel even worse.
"Do you want to know what made me realize how special you are?" Jennie inquires and I can tell she's desperate to make me feel better.
Yes.
I would actually like to know.
"When you fell as you went to shake my hand I thought for sure you'd make some excuse to leave the meeting." Believe me that thought crossed my mind. "But you didn't, you picked yourself up, played the incident off like it was nothing and even got me to agree to go out with you."
I did do that.
I suppose that kind of says something about me.
I throw the covers off me and contemplate unlocking the door.
"That takes courage, Jis, and when Hanbin and I left the meeting I told him how impressed I was with you." Really? "I also told him how insanely sexy I thought you were, and I still think that."
She does?
I know she finds me attractive and loves me but still.
I've hardly showed her my sexy side.
"You drive me crazy, Jisoo," Jennie says as I slowly get out of bed. "And I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you."
Uhm.
Wow!
She does sound sincere, I'll give her that.
"Please open the door and let me show you how all I've thought about since Hanbin picked me up is getting back here to you." Jennie's raspy voice gets even huskier and I find myself walking faster.
The blood that was rushing to my face is now heading south.
Down south.
If you catch my drift.
I suddenly don't care all that much about Jennie getting a peak at my dancing.
Actually, I could care less.
I turn the lock and before I can grip the handle, Jennie bursts through the door. She pulls me into her and kisses me so fucking hard.
Oh god!
Her tongue is in my mouth in no time whatsoever as Jennie forcibly pushes me against the wall. The hunger and desire I feel from our kissing is enough to make me go weak in the knees.
Literally.
Her body is what's holding me up and when her thigh comes in contact with my aching center I let out strangled moan in her mouth.
Jennie's right hand moves up my stomach as I desperately latch onto her for support.
Oh god!
She's making me feel so hot and so damn good.
I'm soaked.
Because of her.
And for her.
I want Jennie but I'm too lost in all the various sensations she's causing to do anything about it.
Jennie rips her lips away from my tingling ones and the expression of pure desire on her face makes me shudder. She doesn't say anything, she just gives me that oh so intense look of hers.
I'm about to ask her why she stopped when she takes hold of my shirt and tears it open.
Hey!
I think I lost a few buttons!
That was a brand new shirt!
I forget all about Jennie ruining my shirt because her lips are engaging me in another passionate kiss that seems to go on forever. Her hands cup my breasts as she presses her thigh even harder against me.
Oh god!
It feels like Jennie is everywhere all at once.
Her hands.
Her lips.
Her tongue.
Her body.
All over me.
I'm out of my mind with want and need.
Moans and whimpers come out of my mouth in rapid succession.
I think I might have screamed her name but I'm so far gone I can't be sure.
And then, suddenly, I don't feel Jennie against me anymore.
The loss of heat from the lack of body contact makes me shiver.
It's not until I look down that I get overheated again.
Oh god.
Jennie is on her knees and I know what she's about to do.
Her eyes are fixated on my brown ones as she latches on to the side of my underwear. I seriously have no idea how I'm even standing right now.
She slides my underwear down my legs without breaking eye contact, making my ache for her grow stronger.
I need her.
I need her inside of me.
I need her to give me the release that my whole body is screaming for.
Once my underwear is off Jennie grabs my hips and every piece of flesh she touches, burns.
Oh god!
Jennie readjusts her position before she puts my left leg over her right shoulder.
I can feel her warm breath on my skin and one other place as well.
Her tongue envelops my clit as Jennie digs her nails into my sides.
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Holy fuck!
I guess she's not in the mood to tease, which is good, because I'm not in the mood to be teased.
I'm in the mood to be taken.
By Jennie.
Right here.
Right now.
I have nowhere to hold onto so I tangle my fingers in Jennie's brown hair. I hear her grunt or that could have been me as my head slams back against the wall.
Let me assure you I feel absolutely no pain.
I press even further into me but I can't move my hips because Jennie is making it impossible for me to move.
Oh god!
My whole body feels like it's on fire.
I want to open my eyes and look at Jennie but I can't.
All I can do is feel.
Feel her tongue.
Feel her passion.
Feel her love.
I beg her to go faster.
And she does.
I plead with her not to stop.
And she doesn't.
I writhe in utter bliss as Jennie works me into a frenzy.
Without warning, Jennie plunges two fingers deep inside me.
She's a woman on a mission, and her mission is to make climax hard.
I would tell her not to worry because she's about to succeeded but I can't speak.
All I can do is call out her name over and over again.
Her fingers curl and hit just the right spot as I careen into my climax.
Jennie doesn't let up.
She keeps going.
Just when I think she's about to stop, she goes faster.
I shout out my pleasure until I have nothing left.
I collapse into Jennie's arms as my body twitches and convulses.
She holds me and I'm so high I don't think I'll ever return to earth.
I do, eventually, and it's only when my breathing is somewhat under control that I hear what Jennie is whispering in my ear.
"So sexy," she repeats as I lay spent in her arms.
And I believe her.