Toxic Rose Thorns - Chapter 67: Chapter 67

Knightly
There's genuine hurt in her eyes. I can smell the despair around her as she stares back at me with real anger. How do I tell the person that serves the better half of my soul that I'm not good? That I've ruined lives and killed people because I'm just a selfish entitled piece of shit trying his best to run for his destiny.
"I'm more afraid of giving you more of what's left of me. I'd rather you not be with me than for you to look at me the same way everyone looks at my father," I stand. "If what you want is for us to co-parent and share in the little things with our kids, so be it,"
"You're so convinced that you're this bad thing I need to be protected from that you're not even willing to give us a chance. It's no different than killing your soulmate to gain power. In the very least, your father got what he wanted,"
Phoebe pushes past me and heads back, her words feeling worse than the lashes I received as a kid. I close everything up and head back. I thought she'd wait, but she's already headed up to the house when I reach the rocks that lead back to the beach. I clear the distance between us and stop her. I spin her around to face me, and the fury in her eyes makes me smile. If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man.
Before I can say a single thing, her fist clobbers me in the mouth. I look up at her impressed. Blood fills my mouth and I have to remind myself that she's not an enemy. The two of us are just standing here breathing hard and just as pissed.
"You meant that," I accuse her. "You have no fucking idea what it is you're asking for,"
"You're an idiot. You think you're the only one that's had to put up with their parents shit. Your head is so far up your ass. You wouldn't last a fucking day knowing I'm with someone else," she growls. "It would drive you fucking crazy to know someone else is touching me. That someone else gets to see what you've always wanted. You're saying that shit thinking I won't let it happen just to get a reaction out of you. Remember that it's what you wanted,"
"Don't you fucking dare," I grab her wrist. When her eyes meet mine, they're glowing bright red. The challenge is more than clear. "It's one thing to let you go so you get what you want and another to do it to spite me,"
"From here on," she rips her arm out of my grip. "Everything I do will be to spite you. I want you to pay close attention, Alpha Knightly,"
The contempt she says it with has my wolf on edge. He's pacing along the edge of my rage. He wants me to make this better. We both know I only know how to make shit worse.
"Sixty-two hundred and eighty four," I call after her. She stops at the entrance of the greenhouse. "That's how many people I've killed, Phoebe. And those are just confirmed kills. Not the number of wolves, vampires, and mortals I've had to go through to get to my target.
"That's what I do to keep the thing inside of me sated. I started when I was fifteen years old. Killing anyone that was a threat to me and my mother. I killed Ruin. I stuck a tube down his throat and forced the same wolfsbane they used on Ayrie into him, and while he was drowning in it, I let my father skin pieces off his hands. The nanny watched all of it and when I was done with him I did the same thing to her,"
The anger in her eyes fades, and she inhales almost as if she were relieved. I don't understand what's happening when she smiles and places her hand over her chest.
"Right. Neither was I," she whispers and then laughs. "I guess so," she nods and then looks up at me. "So, they're gone? They're not a danger to me and the twins anymore?"
"No," I answer, waiting for her to freak out the way she was the day it happened.
"Are there other places to hide out in? That's the only one?" she asks, linking her hands in front of her to wait for my answer.
"I don't understand what's happening," I say because any normal person would have run by now.
"Neither do I, Nate. I don't understand this world at all. You guys talk about murder so casually. It's not just you. Your mom, your siblings, and both your dads. I get it. You're animals. It's a different set of rules. I'm okay with that.
"What I'm not okay with is how you're acting. One second you're sweet and approachable. Then you say stupid shit like what you did back there. What the fuck am I doing here if you don't want to be with me?
"You've taken enough in the past three weeks, don't you think? If your concern is the twins, I don't want you to be around me. I don't want you here as a constant reminder of how unwanted I am to you. I get enough of that shit from literally every other aspect of my fucking life. My dad is an asshole, but in the very least he showed his mate her place from the start. I don't know what the fuck you're trying to do,"
"I don't want to change you,"
"What the hell does that mean, Knight?" she groans frustratedly.
"Everything about you is the complete opposite of me. You wanted something and you went after it over and over again. You're crazy good at being a mom and you seem fucking perfect. I've been in your life three weeks, Phoebe. And I've fucked everything up already,"
She sighs and comes back down toward me. She closes the space between us until we're just a couple of inches away from one another.
"In the three weeks I've known you, I've learned more about myself, where I come from, and that I was owned by the people I considered my family. At the first sign of change they fucking turned on me. Your mom has literally done more for me in the past three weeks than anyone has done for me my entire fucking life.
"All you see is darkness. All you want to see is the bad shit. I get it. Bad shit is all around you constantly. You're carrying all that shit on your own. I know what that's like. How heavy it feels to not be able to let all that shit out.
"It feels like you're drowning and there isn't a single fucking thing you can do about it because when you're looking at the most important things in your life all you can think is please god, don't let it be like this for them. It's part being an adult and a parent.
"I thought we had that in common. I thought maybe you'd see more than my success and-"
My arm is around her waist and my lips on hers before she can finish. The response is immediate. Her arms come around me to pull me closer. Our mate's bond has been beckoning from the moment she turned around with Chocolate sprinkles in her hands in the airport.
"We should go inside," she says without pulling away or stopping.
"It's a private beach,"
"Yeah," she laughs. "But your family is incredibly nosy,"