Two Sides of The Moon - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

-Arch-
I stayed by myself for a few days. I didn't go to school, and I didn't hang out with Jaden and Tilly after they got home. I didn't even speak to my parents and avoided everyone else. I just needed to be completely alone. I still wanted answers, but this time, I wanted them from myself, and I couldn't hear a thing with so many people around me.
Most of the time, I walked around the forest, finding quiet places to lay down. As I stared at the snowy nature in front of me, I tried to understand. I tried to listen. I tried to figure out the answers.
But how was I supposed to know if I could ever consider him as my mate if I knew nothing about him? Jack Thorn.
I didn't know how to feel about him. As the days passed by, and that was the only thing on my mind, I understood that I already had my answer.
I didn't know how I felt about Jack Thorn. Simple as that. But knowing that didn't help me at all.
On Thursday, I was aimlessly wandering around the town as a wolf, partly keeping an eye out for anything unusual and partly deep in my thoughts. I'd been outside for a few hours, so it had to be around noon already. Jaden and Tilly were at school, and I knew they already missed me. I wasn't getting anywhere with my quest for answers, so I figured I may as well join them tomorrow.
Before I noticed it, I had arrived at the hunters' headquarters. Their building didn't interest me, but I still found myself coming there often. Jack's house was close by...
I turned to look at the tiny little pathway in between the trees. I wasn't sure how long I stared at it before I took the first careful step towards it. And another one.
A short moment later, I was standing between the trees where the pathway started. Jack's house was down there, in the distance. I could see a corner of his roof.
I lay down before I could go any closer. Jaden's words echoed in my head, and so did my parents'. And Oliver's. And that guard's. Everyone's, really. And most of all, I'd been thinking about everything Jack had said.
What was the right thing to do? I had to make the right call, but what on earth was I supposed to do?
Suddenly, I could smell him close by. I stood up and looked around until I was sure I could hear his footsteps somewhere in the pathway. I had taken several steps towards him before I even remembered I was supposed to keep my distance. I stopped and lay back down.
Then I saw him. He exited the forest, carrying a pile of firewood in his arms. After a few more steps, he stopped and turned to look straight at me. I wagged my tail, but his expression turned hostile, and he continued marching to his cabin without saying a word.
I rested my head on the snow, letting out a sad sigh. I just wanted to talk...
What was I supposed to do...?
I closed my eyes, listening... I was supposed to be listening to my own voice, but instead, I ended up listening to his footsteps. When he slammed the door shut, and I couldn't hear him anymore, I lifted my head up again.
I let out a long breath in hopes of finding some kind of inner peace so I could hear myself.
...Only to realize I was listening all wrong.
I got up and started walking to the town. Once there, I turned back to human and made my way down the main street, passing by the little boutiques we had, and stopped in front of one of them.
"Hey, Arch! What can I get for you?" the owner, Clarissa, smiled at me, walking to me as I stepped in.
I looked around until I saw what I was searching for and pointed at the little bag with a white ribbon around it.
"All right, anything else?" she asked as she took it from the shelf and returned to me.
"Nah, not right now," I told her. "Is there anything you need?"
She stopped to think for a moment, tapping her nose. "Well, I always need eggs," she then smiled, giving the bag to me.
"Sure thing – I'll come drop them off before closing time," I promised and told her goodbye.
After stepping out of her bakery, I walked back up, heading straight to Jack's cabin.
I was listening now. It took me a while, but I was listening.
Without letting my head get in the way, I continued my way down the pathway leading to his place, slowing down when I saw the cabin. I spotted Jack by the window, but he quickly hid behind the walls when he saw me. I stopped in front of the stairs, staring at the closed door, and took a deep breath.
And then I climbed the few steps up and sat down on top of them, opening the bag.
"Want a cookie?" I asked him, grabbing one for myself.
I wasn't surprised by the silence. I listened quietly, but he didn't even move. I would've heard it if he did. He had to be just behind the wall, right behind me.
I looked at the forest, taking a bite of the cookie.
"Clarissa makes the best cookies in the world," I said. "You should try some."
"I don't care about your cookies!" he growled at me, and I smiled a little.
"Trust me, these are good."
"Leave me alone! I don't want to have anything to do with you!" he replied angrily.
"Aye, you told me that," I replied quietly. "But I was hoping you may want some company after all."
"Well I don't, so you can just fuck off!"
"I will, don't worry," I told him. "I just want to hang out with you for a moment. I only know a little about you."
He stayed silent, and it gave me courage to continue.
"I know you're strong, and loyal, and would do anything for those you care about. I also know you've been through really horrible things even before you got possessed. And I know you never wanted any of this to happen. I know you're a good person."
I waited for a moment in case he wanted to tell me to fuck off again, but he didn't. I carefully peered at the door, but he wasn't moving, so I grabbed another cookie and turned to look away.
"But I don't know any details about you. I don't even know your personality. I... I feel like I never got to meet the real you," I spoke. "And I want to know the real you."
"I don't want you to know me, so you can piss off already."
I tried not to let his words discourage me, but they did. Maybe I made a terrible mistake by coming here. Maybe I really needed to stay away from him.
"If you really want that, I will leave you alone from now on," I told him and stood up, leaving the cookies on the porch, and turned to look at the door. "But that's not what I want. I mean... I... Of course I will honor your decision, but..."
I was making things worse, right? I shouldn't have come here... What was I thinking?
"I'm sorry... I'll go now..." I muttered and turned around.
I managed to take maybe three or four steps.
"Did you get your ability back yet?"
I stopped and carefully peered over my shoulder. "Not yet."
"Right..."
I hesitated for a moment, but then turned around and took a step towards the house. "I'm really sorry my parents were dicks to you."
"Nothing new..."
"You didn't deserve it. After everything you've done for me–"
"Don't."
I held my breath, fearing he'd now tell me to leave again, but he stayed silent. "Do you... Do you like the house?" I asked. "It looks nice."
"I guess."
I wanted to walk back to the door, but I decided to stay where I was. I was so happy he was finally speaking to me... I didn't want to ruin anything, but I was completely out of ideas what to say next.
"I think you should leave," he said before I could come up with anything. His voice wasn't hostile this time, so I hoped it was a good sign.
No matter how much I wanted to stay, I knew I'd make things worse by staying against his wish.
"Okay... I'll... Do you still want me to stay away for good...?" I asked carefully.
He didn't reply.
"Okay, I'll... I'll leave the cookies by the door. They're really good..." I muttered, forcing myself to take a step back. "I'll bring you more."
"Whatever..."
I let out a long breath when I turned around. And I smiled a little at what he just said. Whatever.
That wasn't a no.
-Jack-
"Want a cookie?"
I froze when I realized he wasn't just going to drop the bag at my porch and leave like I had hoped. Why was he here?! Why on earth was he here?! He knew I didn't want to be anywhere near him!
"Clarissa makes the best cookies in the world," he said. "You should try some."
"I don't care about your cookies!" I yelled at him, my heart racing like crazy. Why was he here?!
"Trust me, these are good."
"Leave me alone! I don't want to have anything to do with you!"
"Aye, you told me that. But I was hoping you may want some company after all."
"Well I don't, so you can just fuck off!"
I needed him gone right now! I couldn't stand his presence. I could hardly even breathe when he was so close to me. I was about to panic, but did he care? No! I told him to leave me alone, but he was still there!
"I will, don't worry. I just want to hang out with you for a moment. I only know a little about you."
I stopped breathing altogether when he said that. He wanted to...? No! I didn't want to have anything to do with him! Why couldn't he understand how cruel his words were? When he continued talking, listing all the things he knew about me, I first refused to listen, but his voice...
Little by little, it calmed me. Not much, but at least I wasn't losing my mind just because he was there.
"But I don't know any details about you. I don't even know your personality. I... I feel like I never got to meet the real you. And I want to know the real you."
"I don't want you to know me, so you can piss off already," I told him angrily, wishing he would just go away... I couldn't take it. His presence, the sound of his voice, his scent...
He was silent for a moment. I begged for him to go away, praying that he'd leave me alone. I couldn't be near him... My protections against him were already crumbling down. I'd been doing so well...
"If you really want that, I will leave you alone from now on," he told me, and I heard him standing up. "But that's not what I want. I mean... I... Of course I will honor your decision, but..."
Suddenly, I felt something... Why did he sound so sad...?
"I'm sorry... I'll go now..." he said and walked down the stairs.
He sounded so defeated. I let out a deep breath. My goddess... I was weak. Even now, I couldn't stand his sadness.
"Did you get your ability back yet?" I asked and immediately bit my tongue. I cursed myself to the lowest part of hell. He was about to leave, for fuck's sake!
But...
"Not yet," he replied with a surprised tone.
"Right..." I mumbled.
He was quiet for a moment, and I could hear him taking a few steps back toward me. I tried to harden myself against anything he could do or say next.
"I'm really sorry my parents were dicks to you."
"Nothing new..." I muttered.
"You didn't deserve it. After everything you've done for me–"
"Don't," I said, nearly begging. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't even want to remember any of it. Not right now. Maybe never.
"Do you... Do you like the house? It looks nice."
"I guess," I said, leaning my head against the wall and closing my eyes.
I couldn't do this. He wasn't sad anymore, and that was enough for me. I had so many things going through my mind at that moment, and I needed him to give me space. This was taking its heavy toll on me.
"I think you should leave," I said quietly. If I let this continue...
"Okay... I'll... Do you still want me to stay away for good...?" he asked carefully.
Did I...? No matter how badly I wanted to tell him yes; to tell him to stay away from me... I... couldn't.
"Okay, I'll... I'll leave the cookies by the door. They're really good..." he said quietly. "I'll bring you more."
"Whatever..."
Once he started walking, I leaned heavily against the wall next to the door. I felt dizzy after not being able to breathe normally while he'd been there, just outside my door...
I closed my eyes, listening to his footsteps as he walked away. What a stubborn man... I'd told him to stay away from me, and yet he came to me. Bringing cookies. I hated cookies. I hated everything made of sugar. And the worst part was that he was definitely going to bring me more cookies because I didn't tell him no.
But I was weak around him. That was why I should've just stayed silent the entire time and not let him wiggle his way in. I couldn't protect myself against him. If he came back, I would only get hurt. I just knew it. Even now the hope was rising inside me...
I should've told him to leave me the fuck alone. I shouldn't have let his emotions affect me like that. Why on earth had I asked him about the ability...? The words had simply come out before I could stop myself. Why had his sadness affected me so much?
I tried to push him out of my head before it was too late. I really did.
But instead, I turned to look at the door. I waited for a little bit longer, and without giving it a second thought, I opened it and carefully stepped outside. I couldn't see or hear him anywhere. Good. I took a step to the stairs and picked up the bag from the floor before retreating back into the safety of my cabin and closed the door again.
The cookies smelled... Sugary. I sniffed them again and wrinkled my nose at them before putting them down on the kitchen counter.
Damn cookies...
I had to go sit down on the couch. This whole encounter with him had drained a lot of my strength. Why did he have to come here? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?
And why did he want to get to know me? I pushed that thought immediately out of my head. I didn't want to know. I couldn't... I didn't want to hear the answer.
I leaned back and let out a deep sigh, finally starting to relax. I stared at the ceiling, but not really seeing it.
Why did he have to have such a nice voice...? Strong, but kind... Soothing... And that stupid hair of his. He hadn't shaved the sides of his head in a while and that mohawk was getting way too long... Always in front of his eyes as a big, golden-brown wave... His clothes had gotten way too tight for him as well.
Such a hobo... Gorgeous, gorgeous hobo...
But that's not what I want...
I was going to get hurt with him... When he said he didn't want to stay away from me, I forgot to be careful. He had sounded so sad. That voice had made me believe I had nothing to be afraid of. It made me hold on to my hope tighter. It made me think that maybe I could still... still have something good...
I turned to look at the cookies. After a moment of hesitation, I got up and walked to the counter. I picked up the bag and stared at it. Truthfully, they didn't smell that bad... I took one and sniffed it closer, trying to figure out the ingredients. Other than sugar. I wasn't a fucking cook, so I gave up trying and took a bite.
It was very sugary. But... not that bad, I suppose.