Two Sides of The Moon - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

-Jack-
I woke up nervous and restless that Monday morning. It was eight already, so Arch was probably at school already... He wouldn't have tried to visit me so early, right? Still, I got out of the bed and without getting dressed, I marched to my front door and yanked it open. No cookies...
I sighed and then froze. Why was I so disappointed...? Oh, I knew why, but I wasn't ready to admit it to myself. Hell no! I had no reason to be disappointed! It was just a bag of cookies... Though that meant he would bring them when I was awake, so I'd get to... No! I was not going to talk to him!
I slammed the door shut and cursed myself. I was supposed to keep him at bay, not let him in. It didn't matter that he was my mate and willing to get to know me and bring me cookies and... and keep trying no matter how hard I tried to push him away... and looking so goddamn adorable when he got all awkward and...
With another sigh, I leaned against the wall and stared at the floor.
"Stay strong. Do not let the shadows consume you."
I placed my hand on my chest. I could feel the shadows squirming inside me again. Consuming me. Was it really me who wanted Arch to stay away... or the enemy? Henry had used my mate as a weapon against me to keep me weak and scared. He kept showing me those horrible nightmares, planting all those sickening images in my head. All those times he forced me to watch Arch die in my arms... by my own hand...
"The enemy didn't choose you by chance."
Why did they choose me? Why was I picked to carry the shadows from the old world inside me? I was... nothing. Just a runt of an Alpha with a broken spirit.
"Stay strong."
I shot up and stared around. I could've sworn I actually heard his voice this time. I wanted to call out to him, but kept my mouth shut. He was taking big risks because of me, and I didn't want to blow his cover.
But I so needed answers. I was desperate for answers. Apparently, all I could do was stay strong.
There was nothing for me to do, but I tried my best to spend the time. I was definitely not waiting for anything. I tried to remind myself of that every time I peered at the clock. Eventually, my nervousness started getting on my nerves, so I decided to go out for a walk.
Being in the forest eased my mind. I spent at least an hour just roaming around without destination and then visited Ina at her barn. Her mate was there as well, enjoying his day off by fixing fences. I offered my help since I had nothing better to do. That was how I spent another hour, but the job was done faster than I'd hoped.
It was still only two in the afternoon...
And again, I cursed myself for caring what time it was.
I left the barn, wondering if the lake was warm enough for a quick swim. I went to check and learned the answer was hell no. With freezing toes, I started heading back home.
But when I saw the shopping street, I stopped.
"Stay strong."
My first time visiting the shopping street had been a disaster. I was about to take another direction to avoid the place, but then I stopped again and looked at the buildings and people.
Stay strong.
Was I afraid of that place and people, or was I taught to be afraid of them? The enemy didn't choose me by coincidence. I wasn't supposed to let the shadows consume me.
Was it important to the enemy that I stayed weak and scared? I shook my head. Why would the enemy care about me? Unless they knew something I didn't? This was probably a stupid thought, a far-fetched one at that, but... Could they predict the future or something? There were people who could, Arch was technically one of them, so...? Had they seen me ruining their plans if I got strong again?
Or was it because of the infestation? If I stayed weak, they could escape, so that made sense.
Either or... The enemy wanted me to stay weak, so there was only one thing I could do.
Stay strong.
I turned into a human and took a deep breath. I didn't need to go too close, but close enough to prove to myself I was getting better. I slowly started walking closer to the beginning of the street, taking in my surroundings, learning the scents, and memorizing the faces. I had missed a lot of details on my first visit, so I took my time looking around.
I also tried to ignore the glances and whispers when people started noticing me. Most of them seemed just curious, but I did spot the glances that told me how unwanted I was.
Stay strong.
I turned to look at the closest shop, but I didn't dare to go closer. I didn't actually see the shop. I was trying to keep myself calm. I needed to do this. They just didn't understand my situation. They were scared of what I represented. They didn't hate me; they were simply worried.
They were just scared...
Just scared...
But if they saw me more often, maybe they would realize they didn't need to be afraid of me. I was just a teenage boy who got possessed and used against my own will. They'd see that. So I had to stay. Just a little while longer. I turned around again, feeling a little bit calmer.
And then the worst possible thing happened.
The group of guys who had chased me were right there, just on the other side of the street, glaring at me.
Stay strong.
I froze. My first instinct was to run away, but somehow, somewhere, a little voice told me I was better off staying put. There were dozens of people watching us. These guys wouldn't be stupid enough to try to attack me in front of them all.
And they didn't. They just glared at me. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't leave now. They were clearly waiting for me to do so. They would follow me until I was alone...
I thought about Arch. What time was it? Probably only fifteen or twenty minutes past two, so it would take several hours before he came to visit me. I wasn't in a rush. Hell, he'd probably have to come get the cookies from this shopping street, so if I was still standing here, he'd find me.
Okay, now I was being stupid. I couldn't just stand here for several hours waiting for him to come for my aid. I had to be stronger than that. Besides, these were just teenage bullies. I'd carried Henry for months. I had actual enemies who wished I stayed weak.
I lifted my chin up. I had to stay strong.
So, I smiled and took a few steps closer to them.
"Hi! I'm Jack. I think we got off on the wrong foot," I said, barely able to believe I was actually doing this as I offered my hand to the closest guy.
What the fuck was I doing again? The guys had that same question on their faces as they stared at my hand, then at me. I had the feeling the entire street had stopped to stare at me, but I wouldn't budge.
I had to stay strong, so I didn't pull my hand away. Not until the biggest of them scoffed at me angrily and walked away, his friends in tow.
I slowly let my hand drop down. I watched them until they disappeared behind the trees. I could still feel their hate towards me. I shivered, feeling unease, but proud of myself at the same time. I actually did it. I stood my ground. I... I wanted to vomit out of fear, but I was still there.
Letting out a deep breath, I turned to glance at the shops, but I felt like this was enough for one day. I had to wait for a bit before returning home in case the guys were waiting for me, although they had left in a completely different direction.
When I finally felt safe enough, I started heading back home. I kept my eyes and ears and nose open, but no one was around when I walked down the small pathway to my little cabin. I did lock the doors and windows just in case once I was finally inside.
I actually did it...
I gave up trying to pretend I wasn't expecting Arch. It was almost five in the afternoon, and I just sat on my couch, not seeing anything but hearing every little creak and snap coming from outside. It was... scary. I didn't want to wait for him. I didn't want to feel the little jolts going through my body every time I thought something moved outside.
If he didn't come... That was why I never should've let him this close. I should've kept him away. I should've...
I tensed up when I heard footsteps. I knew those footsteps. Part of me wanted to rush up on my feet and go to the door, but the other part in me insisted I acted cool. So, as Arch walked closer, I just sat on my couch, waiting... And waiting... Just holding still and not caring one bit.
Then his feet touched the first step on my porch and I stood, then forced myself to stop again. I took a few deep breaths and froze completely when he knocked on my door.
Oh, Moon Goddess, you hag... Why did she have to do this to me? I was a mess.
"Jack?"
His voice was so beautiful... deep, soft, soothing.
"I have cookies for you," he said, sounding almost shy.
I took the few steps to the door and slowly opened it. Arch smiled at the sight of me, looking better than ever. His clothes were ridiculously small. They left nothing for imagination.
"Hi," he said, when our eyes met. "I... Cookies?"
He offered the bag to me, holding it carefully with both hands. I let out a long breath and carefully took it from him, our fingers nearly touching.
"Thanks..."
We both were silent for a moment. He was standing so close... Had I ever touched him? What a weird thought...
"So... How are you?" he asked.
I peered up at him and shrugged. "Better, I guess... I... Better."
"Good, that's good," he said gently. "Do you... uh... Need anything?"
I shook my head.
"Okay, uh... Do you... Want to go for a walk?"
I froze again.
"As wolfs," he hurried to add. "We don't have to talk or anything, just... Walk."
"Sure, why not..." I said before I could even think of my reply.
He smiled. He smiled so widely his eyes narrowed. He looked so goddamn hot when he smiled...
And now he did that because of me.
After we both had turned into wolfs, my nervousness calmed down a bit. I wasn't sure if we ever could have a decent conversation without turning into awkward idiots. I wished I had more confidence around him. Hell, I wished at least he had more confidence around me so we could have a proper chance to talk.
But this wasn't bad, to be honest. After we left my yard, Arch took a random direction, and I followed, stealing glimpses of him. Just being near him was enough. We would learn to talk at some point. I hoped. This was just so new to both of us, and all things considered... This was enough for now.
I had no idea how long we spent walking around the forest, but we stayed there for a very long time. He was goofing around a lot, clearly trying to amuse me. It worked. Over time, I stopped feeling nervous around him, and even didn't mind the people we passed by.
I wanted to get used to it. I wasn't sure if I was still able to admit it to myself, but... I wanted to belong here. I wanted... I wanted a normal life with these people. I wanted to prove myself to them.
I... I wanted a home here.
Much later, when we finally got back to my cabin and stopped by my gate, he turned into a human. I hesitated for a brief moment, but followed his example. We ended up standing quite close to each other, so I quickly retreated behind my gate.
"I had fun," he said with a kind smile and leaned against the gate.
"Yeah... Me too..." I murmured, trying not to look at him, even though all I wanted to do was to look at him.
"Should we do this again tomorrow?"
I nodded without hesitation.
"Around the same time?"
I nodded again. "Just... no cookies. I have enough of them now," I told him, feeling blush creeping up on my cheeks. "I'll get fat."
He chuckled and moved a little bit closer to me. "Potatoes, then?"
I stared at him for a brief moment, but then understood he was just joking.
"You don't have to bring me anything," I told him.
"You know what? I think I'll bring you potatoes," he smirked.
"Why?" I asked, nearly smiling just because he was smiling.
"Wouldn't it be funny if I brought potatoes? Imagine a massive sack of them," he said. "And me just hauling them up on your porch."
I snorted in amusement. "You have a weird sense of humor."
"If it makes people laugh..." he trailed off with a shrug. "I got very close just now."
"To what?"
"To make you laugh," he said, his smile getting a serious hint to it.
"O-oh..."
"Maybe you'll laugh tomorrow when I drag all those potatoes to your door," he said, tilting his head.
"You're seriously bringing me potatoes?" I asked.
"Of course – I promised, didn't I?"
I watched him closely for a moment. "I... I believe you're a man of your word."
"That's right. If I promise potatoes, you will have potatoes."
"Can we stop with the potatoes?" I asked, and honest to god, I laughed a little.
"There it is," he whispered, staring at me with his eyes sparkling.
I had to look away after a moment. I was blushing way too much. "Well... That's your talent..."
"What is?"
I decided to not give him a reply. "We need to work on our conversation skills..."
He chuckled at my words. "I think we're doing just fine."
"Uh-huh? Potatoes?" I said, raising my eyebrow at him.
"Potatoes," he nodded.
I looked away to hide my smile. He was quite something. And to think he was here because he wanted to, not because of a bond or anything like that.
"Well then, I'll be expecting those potatoes," I told him, taking a step away from the gate.
"Oh, you'll get them. A whole year's worth of them," he said with a wink when he stepped away from the gate as well.
"What am I going to do with all those potatoes?" I asked, taking another step away from him, but unable to turn to look away from him.
"Maybe one day you'll let me help get rid of all those potatoes?" he asked.
"Maybe," and turned around. I didn't want to let him see how flustered that suggestion made me.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, and when I peered over my shoulder, he was walking away.
But before he could vanish behind the trees, he turned to look back and saw me staring. He smiled and waved, looking as adorable as ever. I had to wave back at him. He continued his way to the town, but I stood there staring after him for a long, long time, feeling all kinds of flutters going inside me.
This was... really happening, huh...?
I couldn't stop the smile from creeping up on my lips when I turned around to face my cabin. Maybe one day... he could feel the bond too?
I stopped in my tracks, and looked at my cabin. Something was... I stared at the windows, but the lights were off. Shivers run down my spine. I could smell something. Someone had been there. Not just one. I could find the scents of multiple people coming from the cabin.
And then I smelled it...
"No..." I whispered, taking a step closer.
Something dead.
I hesitated for a moment, but then I slowly made my way up to the door, searching for my key. Something was terribly wrong. I opened the door, pushed it open, and froze once again.
Destroyed. Everything I owned was laying in shreds on the floor. The windows broken, curtains and clothes torn, all my food poured on the dirty floors and chopped furniture... There were dead, rotting animals scattered here and there.
I stepped in, letting the door close behind me. The worst was the texts on the walls.
Die Thorn! Leave Shadow bitch!! Rot away in a ditch, shadow whore!
My home... My home...
My knees gave in. My strength was gone. I sat there and cried. I knew it. I didn't belong here. This would never be my home. I would never be part of this pack. They all wanted me gone.
And the shadows woke up inside me.