Two Sides of The Moon - Chapter 35: Chapter 35

-Jack-
There was nothing we could do right now. Everyone kept telling us to rest, so after we ate, I decided to do just that and retreated into the guestroom. Arch, of course, followed me. I went to sit down on the edge of the bed, while he took his place by the window.
I thought the atmosphere was awkward. I felt awkward. I had nothing to say, and the silence was soon getting on my nerves.
I gathered my courage and looked up at Arch, still not knowing what to say, but he didn't seem too bothered as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed on his chest. I forgot I was supposed to say something as I watched his beautiful features and his messy, overgrown mohawk hanging on his shoulder.
Then he blinked, and his eyes turned white. It was somehow freaky and eerie at the same time.
"What do you see?" I asked quietly.
"A lot," he replied softly.
"Do you know how to use that ability?"
"It's... It's the same as my old ability – I learned how to use it years ago, but this... It's stronger. I can see... Lines... Dots... Ripples."
"Okay...?" I muttered as I moved to sit in the middle of the bed, facing him. "Tell me more."
He chuckled, turning his head in my direction, but I wasn't sure he actually saw me.
"There are hundreds... Thousands... Millions of connections all around me. Like a thick web. I can see which ones are connected with me, and threats that are directed at me. They are making ripples on the web. Like..."
He closed his eyes and lifted his hand, his fingers moving in the air like he was playing with invisible strings.
"This here is directed at me," he said, but I saw nothing under his index finger. "A direct threat. The source of it is far, far away. They want my Vision."
"How many threats are there?"
"This one is directed at me, the others are... more aimed at us. Hundreds of them..."
I grimaced at his words. "So how is that ability useful to us? We already know we're in danger."
"The ripples are like... Like echoes from the actions that haven't yet happened. The stronger it gets, the closer it is. I can predict when it happens. I've always been able to predict when the ice breaks under my feet or a deer is about to jump in front of my car."
"Okay, that sure is handy," I agreed. "So you could dodge attacks in battle?"
"Let's test it. Throw something at me."
He still kept his eyes closed as I tried to see something to use. I had nothing in hand, so I took off my shoe, and without giving him a warning, I threw it at him.
He easily caught it.
"Maybe we do have a chance in this war, after all," I said.
He laughed lightly. "I hope so. I'm curious to see your full power, Son of Fenrir."
"Please, don't call me that. I'm nothing special," I asked, looking away.
"I saw your spirit," he spoke quietly in a sad voice. "I saw it when... when they tried to take you away from us. A spirit like that... I thought you were already dead."
"Lucky for me, your mute little princess had the Howl and healed me," I said, trying to sound cheerful even though my mood was far from that.
"Jack... There is strength in you that can't be destroyed. You gave the last of your life to save mine, and you survived. I know your spirit is mighty. I know you will be one of those our enemy fears the most."
I just sat there in silence. Now I felt awkward.
"So... What? You're a poet as well?" I asked, trying to be funny.
"I will wait a few days, like Fenrir asked," Arch only said, turning his attention out of the window.
"Nothing will happen in a few days," I said with a snort, and he laughed again. My god, I loved his laugh... "What's so funny?"
"You don't see what I see."
"You can see my future?"
"No. I mean, I can see the change in you already. For one, you are talking to me. You're not timid around me. You... You are already stronger."
I glanced at him. His eyes were back to normal, and they immediately met mine. We both stayed where we were, staring at each other for a while. I forgot to feel awkward with his brown eyes on me.
How many times had I wished to have those eyes on me during the past year...? How many times had I hoped he'd finally see me... Notice me... And feel... feel what I felt...
He suddenly moved and came to sit down on the edge of the bed, his scent surrounding me.
"Since we are at war, and Cameron will be freed in a matter of days..." he spoke softly, pausing for a moment before he continued carefully. "And in case our time here has gotten extremely limited... I'd like to not have any regrets if I pass away."
"W-what do you mean?" I asked, my throat suddenly dry.
He moved his hand toward mine, his palm up. He held it there and looked up at me. He was waiting for me to... make a move?
I looked down at his hand again. It looked warm... Again, I expected the shadows to make a move inside me, but nothing happened. There were no disgusting images of Arch lying at my feet as a bloody mess...
I flinched when that thought crossed my mind.
And I looked away.
"Why can't I feel the bond?" Arch whispered in a sad, miserable voice. "I don't get it. I want to feel it. Why wouldn't I choose you?"
I stared into nothingness. His words... they felt like icy knives in my heart, but at the same time, I could feel the butterflies and fireworks, the whole shebang.
"Maybe it's messed up somehow," I said quietly, surprising even myself for being so... positive. Yuk.
"But you can feel it," he said.
I let out a sigh and looked at his hand again. "I think I get it... I was... I was a jerk to you guys before I got possessed. That's the only way you saw me. And I really was a jerk. I... I hated you guys. I hated everything about you guys, and when I felt the bond with you... I hated it as well."
"We weren't that nice to you, either, and I'm so sorry about that. If we'd known how you guys were living... What your father had become..." he said, and when I looked up at him, I saw the sadness in his eyes.
"We kept it to ourselves. Trust me. There was no way you guys could've known. My father was strict with us, demanding us to make sure no one saw how bad things were. He even made us go steal stuff like expensive clothes, so we'd look wealthy," I admitted, then looked away again. "Hell... He was more interested in stealing clothes and accessories than food..."
"I'm so sorry," Arch breathed out, but I shook my head.
"You didn't know. That part of our life is over now anyway. We're safe here. Me and my pack – what is left of it..."
"Yes," he said and turned to sit toward me, crossing his legs. "We will protect you and take care of you – all of you. That's the least we can do for not being there for you sooner."
I gave him a small smile. "Thanks. Anyway... I think that's why you can't feel it. You said it yourself: my soul has been incredibly weak. Maybe the bond is too weak to be felt because of that."
"Maybe," he said in a hopeful tone.
We fell silent for a moment. I took that time to gather my courage. There was nothing stopping me now. And what Arch had just said...
"So... You want to feel the bond?" I asked carefully.
"Yes. I mean... Like I said before..." he was suddenly stammering lightly, his cheeks gaining a little bit of color. "I'm a gay guy... and... I like you."
"You don't even know me that well," I noted quietly.
"Don't I?" he asked, shifting a little closer to me. "I know you're brave and strong, and would do anything for those you care about. I know you're kind because you're helping a pregnant lady with her chickens and sheep. I know you're sweet and humble just by watching how you interact with Aurora. I've seen hints of your nature and temper as well. And... And I like your looks..."
I could only sit in silence as he spoke.
"And you're a champion – a protector of this world."
"Right now, I can barely protect my breakfast," I mumbled.
He found my words funny. He tried to smother it when I glanced at him.
"There is a spark in you. It's going to grow, and I can't wait to see it," he said tenderly, moving his hand closer to mine again.
A spark, huh... I could feel no sparks, but since it was Arch who said it, it was harder for me to not believe it.
I stared at his hand resting on his knee. Mine was only inches away. What was I afraid of? The shadows were gone. They wouldn't try to take this moment from me. Arch wanted to get closer to me, and I was dying to have him as my mate.
So why was I afraid? His rejection? I mean... that was still possible in case his true mate was still out there. But maybe I was right. Maybe he couldn't feel the bond because it was so incredibly weak on my side? Because of my weak spirit.
'Just do it.'
I nearly jumped out of my skin, then hid my face behind my hand. "Get the fuck out of my head!"
'Sorry. But you should do it. Take his hand.'
"Fenrir!"
'Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going...'
I looked up at Arch, who was trying to contain his smirk.
"Sorry. Stupid gods..." I muttered.
"What did he say?" Arch asked.
There was no way I'd tell him. "Just... Same old stuff..."
"I see."
Silence fell in the room once again. I was feeling way too awkward to even function now. I knew what I wanted. I knew what Arch wanted, but still... It scared me. What if this was just a nice dream? What if... What if something would come along and destroy everything for me? Again.
"I..."
"Hmm?"
"I'm afraid," I whispered.
"You know I'll protect you. We're all here to protect you," Arch spoke reassuringly in a gentle voice.
"No, not that... I mean, that too, but..." I looked up at him. "What if I'm just going to get hurt again?"
"You mean... By me?" he asked.
"By you, by someone else... Every time I start feeling... good and hopeful, something or someone comes along and just... I've been broken so many times already..."
Why was I saying these things out loud...?
"Jack," he spoke my name so softly I nearly started crying on the spot. "I would never hurt you, but I understand why you can't trust me or anyone else. I just hope you'll let me show you that you can trust me."
"I'd have to trust you first," I whispered.
"So... you don't trust me?" he spoke, his voice sad again.
Before I could reply to him, Fenrir appeared in the room with a sad smile on his face. He patted Arch's shoulder before he came to sit down in front of me.
"Jack," he said when I turned to look away in irritation. "This is what the enemy wants," he continued quietly.
I didn't reply to him. I just wanted to leave and hide somewhere. The cave by the lake suddenly felt like a good idea. Maybe the god knew that, since he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"The shadows are now gone, but the fear they left behind is still here. Do not give into it. The enemy wants you to stay away from him because they know he is the one who gives you your strength. They know you draw your power from the love of those you care about – your mate and your pack," Fenrir said.
"Why are you here?" I asked, not feeling great about Arch listening to what Fenrir said.
"I'm here to protect you," Fenrir said. "I will not let them have you."
"You should stop bothering with me," I mumbled.
'Jack,' Fenrir spoke inside my head. 'He cares about you. I can see he has feelings for you. I don't know why he can't feel the bond – maybe it's another trick of our enemy – but it is there. He may never be able to feel it, but he is still choosing you.'
I peered at Arch. He smiled at me when our eyes met, but it was a sad one.
'Let go of the fear and take his hand. This is the mate you want. This is the mate who wants you, and if you let him in, the enemy will never be able to break you again. With his strength, you will become invincible. That is the moment the enemy will lose you forever.'
I still watched Arch, not knowing what to do. When I didn't say anything, Fenrir took Arch's hand and brought it closer to me before letting go of it. Arch stayed still, his eyes on mine as he waited for my move.
'Let go of the fear,' Fenrir said once more.
I breathed out and looked down at Arch's hand. I was going to get hurt again... Slowly, I moved my hand on Arch's, and he gently wrapped his fingers around mine. After such a speech, I'd partly expected something magical to happen, but all I felt was Arch's warm skin against mine.
"This is stupid," I turned to tell Fenrir.
"Is it?" my god asked with a smile and vanished.
I shook my head and turned to look at our joined hands. I had no idea what to even say now...
"So... The god is my wingman now?"
I snorted loudly at his words. And then I laughed. "I guess so."
When I looked at Arch, he was smiling at me.
"This is stupid," I told him.
"Is it?" Arch asked, his hold on me slowly tightening.
I sighed again and held his hand tighter.
"I guess not," I muttered.
In fact, it didn't feel stupid at all.
-Cameron-
Back in the darkness... Back in my kingdom. Being there among the living as nothing but smoke was more painful than I'd remembered. We were not meant to be there. Here, in this realm of darkness, I felt almost peaceful.
Almost...
"Cameron..."
"What do you want from me?"
"Look at me..."
"No."
"But I love you..."
"You never did!"
"I do! I always did! Why don't you believe me?"
"If you loved me, you never would've abandoned me! You never would've left! You had the opportunity to come back to me – you always had – but you never did! I waited... I waited by your fire! I waited!"
I waited...
'He never loved you.'
"I know, Apophis. Even now, after all this time, he looked at me with hate in his eyes."
'He will be yours. Just wait. Then he can never leave. You deserve it.'
"Yes. When will I be getting out of here? What is the Master's command?"
'Arlona is here. They have a plan to capture you. You will need to stay here for now and gather your strength.'
"I'm fine, Apophis! Let me out!"
'Patience... You will get to burn down the world soon. But first, we are letting them worry about you. They are so focused on your return, they are hardly paying attention to the pyramid. We need the machine. The boy is stronger than any of us expected – Gaea chose wisely. Too wisely. The dark side needs to spread.'
"I do not care."
'Of course you don't, but that is your part in this plan. For now. Once we are ready, you are free to go after your little lover.'
"How long?"
'I will let you know.'
"Apophis?"
I received no reply. My anger nearly consumed me. I was not told I'd have to be stuck in this existence! Liars. All of them... And Cedric... He was the worst.
That fucking whore... I'd make him suffer, just like he had made me suffer for hundreds of years, claiming he loved me while he used me, taking advantage of my position as the Son of Ra, never letting me find out why.
What was his plan...? What did he get from betraying me...? What kind of sick pleasure did he get from lying to me about how much he loved me? Did he find it funny when he left me alone in this world?
The images of him in his beauty flooded my mind. His fiery wings, his cute looks, his relentless strength on the battlefield... His beautiful body in my bed... His voice whispering my name...
I should've known it was all a lie. I should've known he was only using me. I should've known he would rather die than spend a moment longer with me.
"I love you, Cameron."
No, he never did.
Never.