Tyed - Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Tyler drowns the loneliness of the big city with several different measures, all stacked on top of one another to mask the sadness most effectively. He's never home or at work on any nights that the club's open; not that he needs to worry about work anymore, he thinks with a thrill that's followed by immediate bitterness and anger. The alcohol certainly puts a fuzzy edge on every sharp emotion that accumulates, like grot in a drain, in the back of his mind. When the alcohol itself is fiery and bitter, he likes it, because it gets him drunk quicker. Fire, real fire, he leaves in his past when he can. The heat of another person, though, he always finds quickly and easily, and it's always a good distraction from the unpleasant situations he makes for himself. It's that compulsion that drives him out to a bar with his friends the same day he lost his job.
When Nancy told him she was going, he was already swirling with the guilt of having to tell Tee that he'd lost the job he'd gotten him only just last month, as well as stewing in the anger still left over from the very incident that had lost him said job. It wasn't his fault that his manager was so fucking unreasonable, after all. Tyler had a couple hundred dollars in his account still, some of which would get him rent for exactly one week going forward. The rest, though, could safely be wasted on forgetting his guilt and anger and trouble for exactly one night.
He was surviving on the good will of his three roommates as it was. The only reason he had a job was because Shouto had been constantly on his back about the fact that he hadn't paid rent for weeks. The fact that he tried would get Shouto to shut up for a while, and maybe Tee would take pity on him for a little while after that, and he'd figure out the rest of it when he got there.
When Tyler responded with enthusiasm to follow, Nancy must've known something was up. She implied that would be a bad idea, but reluctantly said she wouldn't stop him. He ignored her reluctance; leaving the house was a good excuse to get in the shower, after all, something Tyler found himself often forgetting when he was in less-than-ideals states, such as currently. A distraction was what he craved right now. A distraction was what Nancy was offering.
Tee gives him a suspicious side-eye as he goes downstairs. Tee's smart, and Tyler's pretty sure he already knows that Tyler's lost his job, but neither of them say anything about it. If he asks, Tyler will say he meant to tell him but was looking for the right time. Which is true, he is waiting for the right time- which, preferably, is when they're both black-out drunk and Tee will only vaguely remember, but Tyler can say 'well I did tell you!' and get away with it.
But the conversation stays away from the topic of Tyler's failures, and he prefers it that way. He's silent, and lets Shouto drive in peace while the other two chat about how crazy Nancy's friend James is. An unspoken boon that Tyler receives is never having to be the designated driver, because Tyler couldn't drive. He'd gotten his learner's permit on his sixteenth birthday, but his mother couldn't drive and his stepfather was always too busy to drive him, so in the past three and a half years, he'd never received enough practice hours needed to go for his license. It was a huge detriment to his mobility, but a blessing when it came to getting drunk off his ass on weekends.
When the four arrive at the bar, Tyler gets hit with the familiar uneasiness that often strikes him when he's met with a crowd of strangers. Their gross, sweaty bodies, strange smells, grabby hands, rough skin- it was always a little scary at first glance. The trick was to bite his tongue and push through it, because the humiliation of running away was worse for his bottomless pride. The trick was to get to them first, to be the one in control of any and every interaction. When Tyler was in control, they couldn't hurt him, and that was what was important.
So he pushes into the crowd first and sidles up to the bar, making the first dent in the meagre remainders of his bank account. "One Malibu and coke, please."
Nancy talks to him, and engrossing himself in her problems helps him forget his own. He provides her with advice on what to do with James- which is likely bad advice, knowing Tyler- and in return, she lets him forget about the future. It's mutual aid. While they talked, loudly over the music, their friends went to dance, and by the fourth drink, Tyler and Nancy have lost Shouto and Tee. They're lost in the crowd, and all Tyler can be sure of is that they're not nearby. It's only then that Nancy broaches the question. "You lost your job, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Tyler admits. He has no problem telling her; she knows a lot of Tyler's issues, if not every single detail. She understands. "I couldn't deal with how my boss spoke to me. I might've blown up at him, just a little."
Nancy shrugs. "Tee's gonna be upset, but I dunno what he expected. I warned him that you can't keep a job, it's his fault for expecting any better."
A small part of Tyler's mind echoes Shouto's voice not long ago, a quiet and concerned conversation telling Tyler that if he's to be expected to live away from home, it's only fair to expect him to support himself. Tyler had argued, but ended up conceding that Shouto was right, because that's what Tyler really believed.
"Yeah," Tyler answers, despite not really agreeing. "Sucks, though, because I don't wanna go home."
"Like to your mum?" Nancy clarifies, and Tyler nods. "She's not so bad though, is she? I thought it was your dad that sucked."
"Don't even fucking mention my dad," Tyler scowls, and Nancy shrugs an extremely half-hearted apology. "I don't want to live with my mum. She's not an angel either."
"Whatever. I don't want to dig into your history with your mum. I'm here to have fun."
"You're the one who brought it up. Are we gonna go dance or what?" Tyler says, immediately sidelining that conversation. He came to distract himself, not to make himself feel worse than he already did.
"A'ight," Nancy grins, downing the rest of her drink. Tyler follows her lead and takes her hand to pull her out to the dancefloor. He hopes he'll make some pretty person jealous by dancing with her, but in the dark haze that hangs collectively over the heads of the dancers, he's not sure anyone is focused on anything but themselves.
He dances because it's a helpful distraction from the fear that echoes in the back of his mind. The music is loud, almost loud enough to infringe into his thoughts and drown them out too, but it's not quite fully effective. The alcohol surrounds those thoughts and tries as well to help them down, and again, it helps, but it doesn't drown the thoughts out completely. As it is, they're well-hidden, surfacing enough to be recognized at times like this, but easily ignored.
The sounds, encroaching and ever-pervasive and deafening, combine with the visuals of shadows and dancing lights to create an environment so artificial and unfamiliar that Tyler can get easily lost in it, easily wrap himself in the safety of the thrill, until something catches his eye that is not so unfamiliar, and his stomach flips.
"Oh, shit," he mutters to himself. "Lachlen?"
"What?" Nancy yells over the sound of the music. Tyler acts quickly, pulling Nancy away from the dancefloor; she sputters in indignation, but in the slightly quieter area, he can explain.
"My ex is here," Tyler says, rocking back and forth on his heels. Of all the exes to run into, Lachlen is absolutely not the worst, but running from his past is really Tyler's only goal in life, even if it's the relatively recent past of two years ago. "You remember Lachlen?"
"Fuck, barely," Nancy shrugs. "What's the matter? You two ended off as friends, you only dated for a few months, and he's, like... not going to start a fight, what... are you telling me because you're gonna try and pick him up again? 'Cause I think-"
"I'm not gonna try and fuck him," Tyler clarifies, although truthfully, he had been considering it. He still is, but he pushes that thought aside for the moment. "But he's going to try and talk to me if he sees me. Should we leave?"
"Do you not want to talk to him?" Nancy asks.
Tyler stomps his foot on the ground, whining so quietly Nancy wouldn't be able to hear even if the sounds around them weren't over a hundred decibels. It's hard to explain to Nancy that what he's afraid of is his past. Lachlen's seen Tyler vulnerable in a way not many have. "No, I do," he decides on. "It's just- you have exes, you get it."
Nancy rolls her eyes. "Where is he?" she asks. Tyler points, and immediately regrets it as he's dragged by the wrist with nails digging into his skin. Nancy doesn't put up with Tyler's bullshit, which is usually a good thing; it just doesn't feel like a good thing, ever.
When Lachlen sees Tyler, his dark eyes light up with a fire that, at first instinct, Tyler finds he missed. "Ty!"
Tyler finds himself smiling, and offers a quick, thankful glance to Nancy as he approaches his ex. "Hey Lachie," he calls, not properly entering the dancefloor.
Lachlen slips away, stepping up close to Tyler. "It's been a while," he says, a soft grin on his face. His features are sharper than they used to be, and he's pierced his eyebrow since they last spoke, but he looks so much the same.
"That it has," Tyler agrees softly. "Wanna talk?"
They sit at the bar, and Nancy makes her excuse to leave, giving Tyler time to catch up. Tyler considers, again, the possibility of trying to take Lachlen home, but Lachlen's nice, and Tyler doesn't want to fuck him around. He'll still consider the possibility, but he's less inclined to do it, knowing he'll be pushing Lachlen away come tomorrow if he follows that path.
"I haven't seen you since graduation," Tyler says as he gets himself another drink. "How've you been? What're you up to?"
"Great, and a lot," Lachlen grins. "I've got an interesting story to tell you, if you've got time. Before that, though, tell me how you've been."
"I got time," Tyler decides. "And my story's short and shit. I'm still at uni- miracle, right?- and I'm getting good marks and stuff, so that's good. But I've been through three jobs and I keep fucking losing them and soon enough I'm going to be out of money and sympathy and have to go home." He winces as he realises that was his whole, bad, story. "Shit, I knew I was going to do this, I'm sorry. It's your face, you're so... talkable? I dunno the word." Lachlen's face doesn't help, and Tyler decides to cut the conversation short. "But that's the end of my story. Tell me yours."
Lachlen has a sad, sympathetic smile that he so often offered Tyler, but that's actually not what he's giving him now. He smiles mischievously. "I think I can help you," he says, and a spark of hope lights up in Tyler's heart. "I know how much you don't wanna go home."
Tyler raises an eyebrow. "Go on."