Tyed - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Colby's already there when Tyler arrives. They're meeting at something of a neutral location, a sushi train in Melbourne Central, and it appears on purpose that Colby's chosen seats far away from everyone else. It being before lunch, the place isn't that busy, and it's easy to spot Colby in a back corner, sitting and waiting. Even though Tyler's five minutes early, he still feels sheepish being the second to get there.
Tyler approaches, sliding easily into the seat beside him. His heart is beating fast, but it's more nerves than anything. He looks at Colby out of the corner of his eye; he can focus easiest on his hand, taking in the veins running along the back of it, the sleeve of his shirt, the light hair on the back of his wrist. He wears his watch on his right hand, meaning he must be left-handed. Tyler swallows as he images that being the hand around his throat and tries not to close up in fear like a snail retreating into its shell. He's not afraid of Colby or of what he's thinking about; he's afraid of admitting it.
"Have you had a good few days?" Colby asks casually, and Tyler's afraid to answer because it means entering a conversation that's going to end in him admitting a bunch of stuff he doesn't want to.
But he does. "I guess so. School. I, uh, spoke to my brother. I'm going to see him on Saturday."
"Trey, right?" Colby asks, and at first Tyler doesn't remember how he knows until he remembers where they were on Sunday. He considers mentioning Ash's email, but doesn't; the email remains ignored in his inbox. "Is he okay?"
"For him, he's great," Tyler mutters, not really wanting to talk about Trey's problems right now. "I, uh- how's your few days been?"
"Dull." Colby flicks through the options on the little screen in front of them, eyes flicking between that and the sushi slowly moving past them. It doesn't seem like he's not looking at Tyler on purpose, but still Tyler wants his attention again. "I spent most of it waiting to see you again."
Just like that, Tyler's blushing and he hates it. He hates not having Colby's attention and then he hates having it, although he certainly prefers the second of the two things he hates. "Me too," he admits quietly.
Colby's smile is only halfway towards being a smirk. "Do you want anything?"
"I mean, yeah," Tyler answers, still kind of sheepish. He's not used to this yet, having people buy him things and money not being an issue. Sure, he steals Tee's chips and Nancy's fruit and Shouto's bread and all that, but they steal his juice and soft drink and it evens out in the end. This is uneven, and Tyler doesn't know how to treat it yet.
Tyler takes something off the train and slowly goes about taking the chopsticks. "So, uh..." he trails off, hoping every second that Colby will pick up the slack. He doesn't. "I don't know how to go about starting this conversation."
"Well, how about you start by telling me what you think you might want?" Colby says, finally choosing something from the menu.
"I, uh... I mean there's a few things that, I guess, appeal to me, uh, but-"
"Would you be more comfortable if we went somewhere else?" Colby interrupts him, and Tyler's almost more embarrassed that he was too embarrassed to just say something.
"No. I, uh, found this thing that's like, it lists a whole bunch of stuff and you can just put how you feel about it. I did that. I can show you, or I can go through it, or... I don't know. I just don't know where to start."
"I understand, Tyler, don't worry." Colby's still not looking at him. It might be to play off the seriousness of their conversation, or to keep the intensity out of it; Tyler has a feeling he wouldn't be fully comfortable no matter what. It's just the nature of this conversation. "Start anywhere."
Tyler stares anywhere but at Colby, increasingly uncomfortable as Colby doesn't meet his eyes. He fills his mouth with sushi to buy himself time, but comes out the other side no less confused than he was before. He doesn't know what to say.
So he doesn't. He takes out his phone, loads up his answers, and hands it to Colby.
"Alright," Colby says, and Tyler looks away. He scoffs down sushi instead of looking at Colby, and as more time passes without a word being said, he feels more and more embarrassed. That's the shitty feeling that crawls up the insides of his abdomen; it's embarrassment, and he wants to slap the phone out of Colby's hand. The stakes are too high to do that, but he comes close.
It's probably not that long, but it feels like forever. Tyler chances a glance and sees Colby's eyes reading through the list like he's reading a news article and nothing more. Tyler has to wonder if this squirming he's doing now is a result of a deliberate power play by Colby, or if it's simply unavoidable for him to be this shy about sharing this. He would've thought so, but it seemed like some people cared very little who knew what they were into. Colby seemed to care conditionally.
"I'm gathering you haven't done a lot of stuff like this?" Colby says after a long moment, and fuck, he's still not looking at Tyler. How is Tyler supposed to tell what Colby's thinking if he won't look at him?
"No," Tyler says softly, grabbing more sushi as if to shut himself up. "Not really."
"We'll have to explore, then." Colby hands Tyler's phone back to him, and that's when he finally does make eye contact, and his face is so calm and yet so knowing and Tyler's ears go red.
"Don't look at me like that," Tyler mutters, shrinking in on himself. He hates this feeling right now, and he's determined to reverse it. "Tell me what you want."
"Well, the good news is most of what I'd want is at least a three, if not higher." Colby's casual tone remains the same even as he gets into the much grosser, more intimate part of the sentence. "I'm going to find a lot of new and interesting ways to fuck you, that's for sure. How comfortable are you with taking kink outside of the bedroom?"
"Keep your voice down," Tyler hisses, even though there's nobody within earshot; the servers are near the front of the store, conversing in a language that's probably Japanese, interrupted only by another set of customers arriving. There's four of them and they're engrossed in their own conversation that's surely more interesting to them than Tyler's; but it still feels like he's being listened in on. "Do you mean... like, doing it outside?"
"Not in the sense I think you're implying. I mean, outside of an obviously sexual context. It would be little things, and only as far as you're comfortable of course. Things like using the title we discussed when we're alone, or wearing something symbolic of a collar."
"I-" Tyler remembers that he said maybe to all of that, but thinking about actually doing it is kind of terrifying. "I mean- you've gotta understand this is new to me, and I- I gotta work up to that, I guess?"
The look Colby gives him chills Tyler to the bone, in a way he definitely doesn't mind. His dick likes it, at least. "I get it," Colby says with a smile. "I have to break you in."
"Break-" Tyler's voice comes out in a squeak. For a moment, he just needs to hide, and he buries his head in his hands, aware that his ears are beet red and he's not fooling Colby. He just needs a moment to pretend this isn't happening to him, that he isn't being exposed like this.
He feels a hand touch his lower back, and he freezes for a second before processing that it's Colby. Colby's already an exception to his startle response, and it's so stupid. "Nobody's listening," Colby says, like that's what Tyler's embarrassed about.
"I'm listening. You're listening. God's listening, if he exists. You just- you're- fuck," Tyler gasps as Colby's hand travels lower and slips under his shirt. It's still just on his lower back, it's not even sexual, but just Colby touching his skin sends an electric shock down Tyler's spine.
Colby leans closer, and Tyler's sure that this must look weird to everyone else, but he doesn't dare look up to see. "Are you embarrassed to be mine?" Colby says, and just that's enough to set Tyler off. He pulls his shirt down in the front, an instinct to hide an erection that doesn't even need to be hidden under the table.
Tyler doesn't answer, mainly because he's not sure how to. Colby's hand leaves Tyler's back, but it comes up to brush a curl behind Tyler's ear; Tyler finds himself looking up inches from Colby's face, eyes half-lidded, leaning in and waiting for their lips to connect.
But Colby doesn't; he leans back, looking at Tyler with a burning fire in his eyes. "I'll teach you to be proud of it," he says, so low that there's no chance anyone else could've heard; still, it hits Tyler somewhere deep, and he turns away so his emotions can't run any more rampant than they already are. He has to regulate, cool down. Colby's easily too much.
"Send me a copy of that list, for reference. None of the things you listed as hard limits- the ones- are things I'm interested in, and most of your soft limits- the twos- the same, although there's a couple I would like to push. I'll try to cater to what you like, and we'll see what works."
"What do you want?" Tyler doesn't have the courage to speak very loudly. They pause as a server comes by, waiting in silence until she leaves.
"Me?" Colby raises an eyebrow, like he's surprised Tyler asked. "Well, that's for you to find out, isn't it? You've got the basics."
Tyler blushes again, thinking back to that night. Colby didn't even touch his dick and it was still better sex than a lot Tyler's had; and he knows it was just a taste, a teaser. He wants the full version. "Maybe I want to hear it."
"I think I'd like to keep the details a surprise," Colby says, "but let's talk about breaking you in, shall we?"
"No," Tyler mutters, but he's grinning and staring at the floor. "We could not talk about that."
"Your embarrassment is adorable, for sure." Colby's tone is so understanding that it falls over into a playful mockery, and that doesn't help Tyler's state. "Here's what I'd like. I'm going to get you a collar. Two, really- one that looks like normal jewelry you can wear around, and one that's gorgeous for just you and me. The first rule is going to be that you're always going to be wearing one or the other."
"First rule?"
"I think three rules, to start with. That's one." Tyler swallows thickly. "The second is going to be that whenever we're alone, you're to call me by the title we discussed."
Not saying it doesn't really make it feel any less impactful, since the word still slams into Tyler's mind with full force. It's such a strong, powerful word, a title that means far, far too much. But he's already decided it belongs to Colby. He nods, butterflies churning in his stomach.
"Third... Can I see that list again, Tyler?"
Tyler doesn't like where this is going, but he hands his phone back to Colby with the list up. Colby deliberately scrolls down the list until he finds something, mulls over it for only a moment before deciding.
"Let me know if any of this is too far, Tyler. The third rule is going to be that you can't touch yourself without my permission."
"Wha-" Tyler looks over at the phone screen and immediately regrets putting "orgasm control" at a three. "For real?"
"If you're genuinely okay with it? Yes. I like having that control." There's a hand on Tyler's leg and he doesn't speak for fear of letting out a squeak instead. Colby's voice is low, not letting anyone around them hear, but the words send shivers up Tyler's spine. "It makes you that much easier to tease."
"Oh, fuck you," Tyler mutters, leaning in and capturing Colby in a kiss before he can back away. When he does pull back, Colby subtlety looks in the direction of the other group, and when Tyler looks there's a girl staring at them and that's enough for Tyler to blush and back off slightly. He was the one worrying about what people saw and overheard, wasn't he?
"Is all of that fine with you?" Colby asks, eyebrow raised. He's forcing Tyler to admit that he, at the very least, doesn't mind the idea of having to ask Colby before he can jerk off. Which he doesn't; it's kind of exciting, and he hates that that's his actual reaction to it. He sits back and gives the barest of nods.
Colby's hand on his knee grips hard, turning into nails pressing into his skin through his jeans. Tyler gasps and grabs at Colby's hand, nodding quickly.
"It doesn't take much with you," Colby whispers. He backs off for a moment as the server comes by, and casually, like nothing was going on at all, he starts eating soup. After a mouthful or two, when the server's gone, he says, "which reminds me... we should talk about punishments, rewards. That kind of thing."
"That kind of thing?" Tyler feels a twinge of something or other at the words. He shifts in his seat.
"Again, as far as you were comfortable with, but... what's the point of a rule if nothing happens when you break it?"
Tyler's stomach starts doing flips, imagining repeats of that night. He wouldn't mind physical punishment; in fact, he may have to start breaking rules if that's the case. That's probably not what Colby wants. Would it be fucked up if pain was a reward?
"There's a fine line with this stuff, and a finer line with you in particular. I have a few good guesses, but just to be clear. What kind of things should I avoid as punishments?"
Well, fuck, that's an easier question than Tyler would've expected. "Cold." He shudders. "Don't stop me from going places or doing stuff. Don't ever be lovey-dovey with me as a reward either."
"Even so far as to say you're a good boy?" Colby says lowly, and the fire in Tyler's gut says that's more than okay.
"That's fine," Tyler says. "I, uh... what did you have in mind for..." he lowers his voice. "Punishments?"
"I want to find things that are negative without being genuinely bad for you. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Colby asks, and Tyler nods. "Pushing a limit without crossing it. Some of the twos I'm interested in, perhaps."
Tyler tries to remember what he put as twos. Suspension. Blindfolds. Bloodplay. He shivers to think at the things Colby might be into, but honestly, he thinks he'll end up loving whatever the fuck happens. Colby seems to have that effect on him.
"And for rewards, I think this should give me a pretty good idea." Colby taps Tyler's phone to indicate the list. "I think we have a pretty good foundation here. Thank you for doing this; it's more information than I expected to get."
"Can you do it as well? Just so I know what to expect?" Tyler asks, and Colby regards him for a moment before nodding.
"If it would make you more comfortable," he says softly. His hand on Tyler's leg rubs gently in a comforting gesture. "Do you have anywhere to be today?"
"No," Tyler says, eager. "Do you?"
"During the day, yes," Colby says. "But I'd love to take you out for dinner tonight."
"Of course," Tyler says, grinning. He doesn't get to say anything else on the matter before Colby's phone starts ringing.
"Sorry," he says to Tyler before taking the call. The caller ID reads as a private number. "Hello?"
For a short moment, Colby listens, and then his brow furrows in annoyance. "No. Goodbye."
He hangs up, leaving Tyler confused. He wouldn't have asked questions about Colby's call if it wasn't such a strangely abrupt one. "Can I ask what that was about?"
Colby's scoff tells Tyler it's nothing particularly good. "I mean, I don't want to talk about it, but I should tell you. That was my ex-wife."
"Oh." Tyler feels weird at the very mention of her. She tried to call Colby not that long ago and he ignored her; even though Tyler has Colby now, but the fact that she's still calling him isn't something Colby had mentioned. "What did she want?"
Colby takes a moment before he answers. "She was the one who was supposed to come with me on Sunday. She asked if we could talk about why she cancelled, except I don't fucking care."
"You were going to invite her? I thought you guys were done." Tyler's getting mad and he doesn't want to be mad because he doesn't want to be jealous and posessessive on day- what, three? Four? Their second date? But that itches at some insecurities. Yeah, he knew Colby invited someone before he met Tyler, but an ex-wife is wholly different to just someone else. They've got history.
"You've got to understand- I haven't had any relationships at all since we split. It's not like I want to be around her."
"How is inviting her to stuff not wanting to be around her?"
"The social spheres I exist in are pretty static, Tyler, and I have to bring someone. She's in the same kind of position as me. Do you think I'd hang up so abruptly on someone I care about?"
"You might if you were mad at them," Tyler says, shrinking in on himself and looking away. He's so quick to play defence.
"I divorced her for a reason, and that reason is that I didn't love her and we didn't work together." Colby's voice is soft and reassuring. How is he so easy to believe? Tyler feels his anger dissipating just like that.
"Is she going to be around?" Tyler asks, feeling like a child searching for reassurance.
"Not if I can help it anymore. She has no reason to." Tyler closes his eyes; he wants to believe him so bad.
"What's her name."
Colby gives pause. "Scarlett."
"What a real fucking bougie name," Tyler laughs. Laughing helps curb the jealousy that cuddles in his stomach.
Colby smiles. "It is, isn't it? Her parents were old money, and she grew up all spoiled. She was more well-adjusted by the time we met, but in her teenage years apparently she was the kind of kid who threw a fit when her parents bought her the wrong colour sports car."
Tyler laughs. That helps. "I was imagining, like, Scarlett O'Hara, so that image certainly helps. Let me believe I'm more attractive than her."
"Looking back on it, she was attractive in a boring way. Her face is forgettable. You're not only gorgeous to look at, but I'd never forget your face in a million years."
Tyler balks. The praise might've been nice, but Tyler hates being praised, and what's even worse is being praised for his physical appearance. He knows he asked for it, but something about Colby singling out his face makes him feel sick. His face is way too much like his father's for him to accept it as a compliment. Ever.
"Did I say something wrong?" Colby asks when Tyler turns away. He's too perceptive and it's scary sometimes.
"The sentiment is nice," Tyler tells him. "It's just... the wrong thing to say."