Tyed - Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Tyler sits at Colby's feet, leaning against his knee. Colby gets fully dressed again, but Tyler almost doesn't want to. He knows he has to. This wasn't the purpose of his visit, as much as he wishes it was. He hopes to be able to make visits like this all the time in future, if things go right. Right for Tyler, that is, because he has a sneaking suspiscion that if things are they way they really are and any kind of justice is served he's the one who's going to end up shafted.
So he dresses again. He hears the knock on the door almost the second he does up his jeans; Colby was pressing a few last buttons on his computer, sending off an email Tyler presumes, when he looks at Tyler, still shirtless.
"One moment," Colby calls to the door as Tyler scrambles to get his shirt on. Colby checks himself, and then makes his way slowly to the door. Tyler's hair is probably a god damn mess, but the last time their guest saw him he also had just finished having sex with Colby, so she's probably just going to think it's normal.
Colby opens the door, and Tyler's surprised by what he sees, but it's hard to justify why. Scarlett's still wearing those long, fancy gloves- Tyler never figured out why- although these are black. Her dress is also black, although it has a few floral designs to make it look a little bit less like she just came from a funeral. Just a little bit less.
She takes off her sunglasses. Why she didn't do that in the lobby is beyond Tyler. "Colby," she says, and Tyler's hating her without really trying, although he doubts he would find her voice as grating if he wasn't fucking terrified of her. "Can I come in?"
It's then that she looks over Colby's shoulder and sees Tyler standing by the desk. Her expression doesn't change much, but there is a slight raising of her eyebrows, like she didn't expect him to be here. Tyler tries his best not to give anything away, simply setting his jaw. He doesn't have anything against Scarlett. Not technically. They're divorced and Colby doesn't really want her around.
Except he seems at least a little bit conflicted and that's enough to raise Tyler's hackles, to put him between her and any chance of being near Colby again. If he loses Colby, if he loses this chance... well, his biggest concern was once financial. Once.
"I invited you," Colby says dryly, "would you prefer to have this conversation in the hall?"
Scarlett sighs in exasperation. "Well, please step out of my way, then."
Colby simply does as she asks, shutting the door behind her just slightly, slightly too hard to be neutral. The coldness between them is clear, yet Scarlett seems to keep looking at Colby, like she's waiting for him to do something about the situation.
Tyler leans on the edge of the desk, like he's a disappointed parent about to discipline his child. His backpack sits at his feet, the fateful box inside it. Colby takes a seat at his desk, and Scarlett takes one of the chairs sitting for just this purpose.
"This is a bit of a hostile meeting spot," Scarlett says, hands crossed in her lap. "I was preparing something to tell you, and I'd have hoped I could talk to you in a more private place."
Colby looks at her for a moment. "Are you addressing the fact that we're meeting in my office and not my house, or the fact that Tyler is here?"
Tyler tries not to react when his name is spoken, even when Scarlett looks at him. She looks at him like he's an alien thing, an object that she dislikes but can't communicate with.
"Both," Scarlett says. "The thing I have to say is very private, and I would like to feel like you still consider me, at least, a friend."
"You treat me very coldly, for a friend," Colby says, before taking a moment and sighing. "Okay. That is specifically what we're going to address, but before anything else. There's something I need you to take a look at."
Tyler's already unzipping his bag, and he reaches into it to pull out the box. He sets it carefully on the desk, and all the different pieces of metal inside clink together ominously.
"What's this?" Scarlett asks, raising an eyebrow.
Tyler's actually the one who answers, gesturing at it. "Open it."
Scarlett gives him a look before standing up and doing just that. She stares down at the box of jewelry, mostly rings, before squinting at it in curiosity.
"I don't get it," is all she says. Colby simply nods to the box again, and Scarlett pushes some things aside, before her eyes land on something.
She pulls it out. "My- my engagement ring?" she says, and as Tyler's staring at it, he should feel something about the situation. Clearly, Scarlett's whole story was a lot worse than she let on. She went through something horrible, quite possibly worse than what Nancy went through since it happened multiple times. Tyler should feel sympathy, pity. Something.
But he's an awful person because really, he just looks at the ring and wishes it was on his finger. He reaches up and holds his collar, searching for comfort in that. But God, that ring is pretty. It's a silver ring, a diamond shining up from the top, a few diamonds set in around it. It's not full of character, and it's traditional, but it shines like a star. He'd seen it before, of course, but he looks at it anew knowing it meant someone was Colby's.
Colby rests his head in his hands. "Is your wedding ring in there, too?"
"This came from him, didn't it." It's not a question. "Paul."
Colby takes a deep, shuddering breath. Tyler wonders if it's a good idea to show his hand right this moment, but he does before he can really decide whether he should or not. "I stole it from his house," Tyler says, unfazed by Scarlett's blinking alarm. "Right before I burnt it down."
"May as well be honest," Colby interrupts. Tyler looks and catches his wry smile, and he's just happy that Colby isn't annoyed he said that. "When we burnt it down."
"You're-" Scarlett sputters. She stares, open-mouthed, at Colby for a moment, before a whole bunch of words come out of her in a tirade. "You're saying that you two knew each other at the time, and you-" she gestures at Tyler- "you burnt down Paul's house with Colby's help?" She turns to Colby, her incredulity mostly directed at him. "You're dating an arsonist? You are an arsonist? What?"
Colby kind of shrugs. "I feel like that's not the most important thing to take from the situation with Paul."
"Jesus," Scarlett mutters. Colby looks at Tyler, and Tyler realises he's not finished telling his story.
"I burnt down his house," Tyler says, "not realising Colby was also doing the same thing. But I did it because he'd raped my best friend. This box-" Tyler taps the edge of it- "contains things stolen from all of his rape victims, as something like a trophy. Usually wedding rings, because he must've gotten a lot of married women, but also the bracelets and necklaces and even hair ties of underage girls. There's only one reason your engagement ring would be in here. Am I wrong?"
Scarlett starts to cry.
Tyler immediately looks at Colby, who looks back at him like he can do something about it. Tyler shrugs lightly, and Colby simply leans back against his chair, giving Scarlett a moment to herself.
"I was-" Scarlett begins, before taking a longer moment to hold her hand to her mouth, like she's trying to stop herself from talking. "This was what I wanted to talk about."
Colby leans forward again. He asks, in the gentlest voice possible, "why didn't you tell me?"
Scarlett cries just a little bit harder. Tyler's jealous, because her eyes don't even go red or her face get puffy- she cries pretty. Tyler does not cry pretty and Colby's going to be seeing a lot of tears, probably. "I- many, many reasons," she chokes out. "You know, I was talking with my- with my therapist. I've got one of those now. And we, we were practicing this very conversation. But now that it's happening, it's like..."
"You're being much more forthright than you've ever been before," Colby says. It makes Tyler feel like shit, although it's difficult to determine just why. "That's a good start."
Scarlett leans back in her chair. She makes a move as if to bite her nails, but with those gloves on, she stops and moves her hands back to her lap. "My thoughts at the time," she says, "were that it was indeed, my fault. I've only learned in recent months to accept that even if I could have stopped him, or fought harder, it's not my fault just because I didn't. I did, truly believe that I was to blame."
Tyler closes his eyes as Colby speaks. "I was genuinely under the impression that you let me believe you were cheating on me on purpose."
"I... I didn't," Scarlett shakes her head. Tyler feels awful for wondering if she's lying in this moment. "Why would I do that?"
"Precisely my question," Colby says.
Scarlett sighs, blinks a little, and after a sharp inhale, keeps talking. "I think... it definitely crossed my mind, at least once, what had really happened. I did know, I just didn't accept it. But I thought... When that thought came up, I always thought you wouldn't believe me. Because... It would be such a convenient excuse."
Colby stares at her. "I was your husband, Scarlett. If you couldn't trust me, who the fuck were you meant to trust?"
Tyler hears those words and wonders if he'll ever get to call Colby his husband. The thought, the idea...
He stares at the woman who had that chance and ruined it like she's done something personally wrong. And he knows- he knows he should be sympathetic to her right now, technically. But...
Scarlett shrugs lightly and crosses her arms. She looks away, like she's struggling to meet Colby's eyes. "I... I don't know," is all she says.
Colby takes a long moment. Tyler watches him as he thinks; Scarlett examines her gloves. Colby reaches out and gently touches Tyler's hand. "Look," he says to Scarlett; the touch is simple reassurance. "I'm sorry for not... for not realising."
"It's not your fault," Scarlett mutters. "I... resented you at the time, but you're right. I felt like you were supposed to just figure it out, supposed to just know, but I never told you, never even hinted at it."
Colby shakes his head. "I don't know. I still should've realised. And I'm sorry for not doing my part, and for acting the way I did, knowing now... knowing now that you didn't actually do anything."
And Tyler holds his breath. Holds his breath for the moment Colby asks Scarlett to take him back. In that silence, he's waiting for the blow. The pain he fully expects, has no reason not to expect. Why wouldn't he, after all?
"I should have trusted you enough to tell you," Scarlett says, barely muttering the words. "It didn't help... I was raised not to talk about these things, and it took me this long to learn that it's okay."
"I'm glad you're growing out of that," Colby says. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed. It's almost like both of them have forgotten Tyler is there, except for the gentle touch on Tyler's wrist, reminding him that Colby is here and is paying attention to him still. "Because really, I think that's why we were incompatible. I needed someone who would be open and honest with me. You couldn't do that."
"That's not the only reason," Scarlett says. She finally looks at Tyler- specifically at his neck. "You... Want things I can't give you."
Tyler finally interrupts. "You can say sex, you know."
Scarlett sighs. "Yes. We were incompatible on that front."
Colby blinks at her. "What do you mean? Initially, yes, but I remember... that night-"
"The night Altan..." Scarlett shivers, and it's in that shiver that Tyler finally clicks with how she feels. That loss. The loss of a child isn't specifically something Tyler's had, but a loss that poignant he certainly has felt. "That was the worst night of my life."
"I'm talking about before that," Colby says softly, and Scarlett shakes her head, sinking in on herself.
"Also that," she mutters. "I hated it. I hated every second."
"You- you initiated-"
Tyler actually raises his hand in front of Colby's incredulity. He sees something familiar in Scarlett, both in that poignant loss and now in the flash of fearful regret that seems to sting her. "If I may?" he asks, finding himself adopting Scarlett's slightly pretentious speech.
Colby nods, and Tyler turns to Scarlett. "I know how you feel. I know why you did what you did."
She tilts her head, looking up at him. "What do you mean?"
"You hated it, deep down," Tyler says. "Rough sex, or whatever. Whatever it is you did. It's what Sandys did, and it's what Colby wanted. And you knew he wanted it, so you played into it. You acted how you thought Colby wanted you to act- how Sandys had wanted you to act- and afterwards, you felt like your stomach had been scooped out of you and your chest was empty and you were nothing but a doll, a bag of meat that could be commanded. Bone-deep disgust and shame as if it were happening again. That's what you felt, isn't it?"
There's nothing so heavy as silences like this one.
Then, "...how did you get it so perfectly?"
And, "...you don't feel like that with me, do you, Tyler?"
Tyler answers that first. That feels important. "Everyone before you," he tells Colby. "Not you."
That confession was something it was hard for Tyler to initially accept, but it falls from his lips easily now.
He then turns to Scarlett. "I was abused," he says simply. Oh, how that isn't even the half of it. "I know the feeling. It was a different kind of sex I made myself do, but I made myself sleep with people I didn't want to sleep with because I felt it was my duty or something to please people. And I'm sure you felt that with your husband, of all people. But you are right." He feels like he's lying or manipulating her when he says this, but it's the truth: "you two aren't compatible in that way, no. Especially not now that you associate that kind of sex with trauma."
"I'm in therapy," Scarlett says, and Tyler's heart sinks because fuck, she's defending the idea that she and Colby have a chance.
Tyler leans forward. "You sure you want to do what I do? Do you know what I do? Wanna know what I call-"
"Tyler," Colby says, in a tone not unlike a master calling a dog back. Almost very fitting. "Don't."
Tyler kind of feels ashamed, but he doesn't regret anything. He feels a bit smug looking at the vague horror on Scarlett's face. Her going through some shit holds no power over him when he's been through irrevocably the most shit, at least of anyone in this room. Nobody has an easy life, after all.
"I don't care to know," Scarlett says. Her gaze then sticks to Colby. "Is this a thing you are determined to live your life with?"
Colby raises an eyebrow. "It's not life or fucking death, but I'd prefer a partner who likes the same kind of sex that I do, yes."
Scarlett looks away, and Tyler detects a hint of a scoff on her lips. He finds it hard to care what people scoff at anymore, though.
---
Mummy's new house is so big. It's just her and Trey and Tyler. Which is good. Trey laughs sometimes now. Tyler feels like he can breathe. Mummy's smiles feel better and Tyler realises it's because they're not forced.
The fear that he wakes up with doesn't dissipate. He almost gets hit by multiple cars- he doesn't get roads much. Once a week a man in a red cardigan shows up and asks how all of them are doing. Tyler has his own room, his own bed. He can do anything he wants in there.
He hasn't seen Kevin or Kali in a few weeks now. The man in the red cardigan goes places with Mummy often and she leaves Tyler in charge even though Trey is older. Trey spends a lot of time colouring in some colouring books. Tyler tries to talk to him and Trey always gives one-word answers. The man and Mummy come home, always with new clothes or furniture or food. Mummy's still getting used to the way supermarkets and their weird foods work, and in the first few weeks sometimes they eat burned noodles or lukewarm soup. Their microwave sparks and explodes one day when she puts a metal can into it. The man in the red cardigan goes with her to buy another one.
One day they come home with two uniforms. "School starts in a week," Mummy says. "You'd best both be going every day, alright? You need to go get good grades and be smart. I have to get a job with no high school education and you don't want to be doing what I'm doing now, do you?"
Tyler shrugs. He's not sure where the money for all this comes from, because he knows people have to pay money for houses and stuff. The man in the red cardigan tells them it's from the government. Tyler's not sure why there wasn't a government in Darkfilly Copse.
But Tyler does go. Mummy walks with them the first day and Trey holds Tyler's arm the moment she leaves them. They stand together in front of the school, staring at everyone walking with confidence all around the place. Their backpacks look heavy. Tyler's has only got a few notebooks, a pencil case and his lunch, which is just a sandwich with cucumber and tomato on it. He took that because at least Mummy knew how to make that.
"W-where do w-we go?" Trey half-whispers near Tyler's ear.
Tyler shrugs and pretends he knows what he's doing. It's the kind of thing Kevin would do, he thinks. He just walks forward like he owns the fucking place.
There's an adult standing nearby. Tyler walks up to her and taps her on the shoulder, dragging his older brother behind him. "Excuse me."
She's holding what Tyler has recognises as one of the fancy, new phones that don't connect to the wall up to her ear, and she gestures to it. Tyler waits with his arms crossed. He considers going to someone else, but she's the nearest and he doesn't want to betray how uncertain and scared he really is.
"Just one moment." She takes her phone away from her ear for a moment, holding her hand over it. "Can I help you, kid?"
"Where do we go?" Tyler asks with confidence.
She frowns. "I don't know, kid. I'm not a teacher. Go ask a teacher."
"How was I supposed to know that?" He asks, annoyed. "Weird lady, hanging around a school when you're not a teacher."
She stares at him, open-mouthed, like she's never heard such scandalous words before. Trey grips Tyler's arm a little tighter. "Excuse me? I'm a mother. You don't get dropped off to school by your mother, you- you brat?"
Tyler scoffs. "My mother leaves after she drops me off 'cause she's not weird." He turns. He thinks he's hid his embarrassment pretty well. "Come on, Trey. Let's go ask someone who's not a bitch."
Trey follows in abstract horror. When they finally find a teacher, Tyler is surprised when the mother comes up to her and complains. It's on that day, the very first period of his very first day of year seven, that Tyler ends up getting sent to the principal's office.
He has to leave Trey behind, and Trey doesn't take that well. So Tyler's just sitting on a chair outside the principal's office, staring at the floor and ambiguously angry. He's not even sure what he's mad at. Probably that bitch of a mother who could've just told pointed him in at least the right direction.
"Hey."
Tyler looks over. He sees a kid with long brown hair, who kind of looks like a girl, or at least androgynous, but they're wearing the boy's school uniform. "What're you in trouble for?"
Tyler scoffs. "I called a lady a bitch."
The kid whistles. "Oh, really? I pulled a kid's hair and hit his head against a locker."
"Why'd you do that?" Tyler asks, still leaning on his knees.
The kid shrugs. "He called me a tranny."
"I don't know what that is," Tyler says matter-of-factly.
"It's a rude word," the kid says. "But I actually am trans."
"I don't know what that is either."
"It means I was born a boy but now I'm a girl," she says. Tyler wasn't sure so he's glad she cleared it up. "But I only figured it out recently. He didn't even know, technically."
"So he doesn't know you're a girl cause he thinks you're still a boy," Tyler says, "but he was mean to you for being a girl anyway?"
"Yeah," the girl says. "Weird, huh?"
"Yeah," Tyler shrugs. "Weird how we're in trouble when they were both mean first."
"What did the lady do?"
"She could've told us where to go, but was acting like we were supposed to magically know she wasn't a teacher."
"Who's we?"
"Me and my brother."
"You're new, aren't you?" She leans forward in her seat. "You're from Darkfilly Copse, aren't you?"
Tyler shrugs. It's true, but it's the last thing he wants to talk about. Especially when she's staring at him like this.
But she stops staring after a moment. "It's nice to meet you," she says. "You won't hear a lot of people calling me this just yet, but my name is... yeah. It's Nancy."