Tyed - Chapter 59: Chapter 59

Tyler's pretty sure he said clearly, "my mum could tell Scarlett that her kids are by her own father, that's what."
But Nancy tilts her head in confusion, as though those words don't make sense. Tyler feels something in his chest that might be pain or regret, but he's just observing it, not really feeling it, so he can't be sure. He doesn't want to be in this moment.
"Scarlett's dad? Wait, what?"
Tyler hides his head in his hands. The thing is, he doesn't know what to say. He has nothing to say. How is he meant to clarify? He couldn't tell her beforehand, he can't tell her any better now just because he technically already has.
"Wait, Tyler- wait, no, don't turn away." Her hand is on his arm, trying to pull his hands away to see his face- but every touch feels like needles into his skin, and he jerks away from her hands. "I seriously- are you okay? What's wrong?"
He tries to hide, but there's nowhere to hide- so he's just standing there, hands over his eyes, waiting for her to understand.
There's a long silence. "Tyler?"
He finally looks at her.
"I genuinely- I genuinely don't understand what you just said. Are you saying Scarlett is- is like your sister? Is that what you..."
"No," he says, and he's not sure what gives him the power to say it, but the next words come out deadpan and simple. His hands fall. He suddenly doesn't fucking care. "My mum is my sister."
He sees exactly what he expects, and he's numb to it. Nancy's face screws up in disgust. "Oh, Jesus," she remarks, "fucking gross. Your dad-" she pauses, and the sneer in her lip twitches, pulls up, like she's unable to think. "I thought I hated your dad already, but-"
She retches slightly. Tyler wonders if she'll ever want to associate with him again.
"Your dad is an awful man," she blurts quickly, and Tyler wonders when she started hugging him. "I'm sorry."
"I know he's an awful man," Tyler remarks, confused as to this whole tone. Wasn't she just disgusted?
"I can't believe I didn't already know this, but like, it's not like I expected you to tell me that. Are you alright? You seem really super tense."
"I didn't want you to be disgusted by me," Tyler says, so quiet it barely comes out.
The hug suddenly begins crushing him. "Oh, no, no, Ty, not you! It's not your fucking fault!" She laughs like it's absurd. "You're not disgusting, you didn't do anything. What's not your fault can't be blamed on you. It was something done to you that was awful and disgusting, I wasn't- it wasn't you."
Tyler lets a shuddering breath escape. "And what if you were having sex with me, huh? You'd be disgusted then."
It's clear Nancy hasn't thought when she answers, "of course I wouldn't!" because she immediately adds, "oh, shit, that's what you're keeping from Colby. Oh fuck."
"I keep being told he won't care," Tyler says, "but I definitely think he will."
"Well- you keep being told?" Nancy looks at him as she steps back. "Who- who knows if I didn't?"
"Well, I met some people who already knew. They had worked on the Darkfilly Copse case and with Trey, who's, uh, more obviously inbred than I am." Saying that word feels like acid on his tongue, and Nancy winces so slightly that Tyler almost doesn't notice. "And, uh, and Lachlen."
Nancy sighs. "Okay, well, I guess that makes sense. So you told him when you dated and he didn't react that badly, surely-"
"I didn't tell him then," Tyler admits. "I told him recently. To see how he'd react, because I wanted to know how Colby would react."
"Ouch. I'm slightly more hurt in that case, but like- it's fine, it is what it is. Did Kevin know? And Kali?"
"With them it's different, because they were there. I think if I said to them, oh by the way I'm inbred, they'd probably just tell me they knew. It wasn't uncommon in Darkfilly Copse. Dads molested their daughters all the time and we all just pretended it was some act of God when they got pregnant. If Kali had been there a few more years it might've happened to her."
"I see," Nancy says. "So you're stressed Colby's going to do... what, when he finds out?"
"Fucking leave me? Obviously. I'm telling you I am inbr-"
"There's got to be a better word than that," Nancy says. "I mostly heard that word used as like, a slur."
Tyler hardly gives a shit about the word. "Doesn't matter. If you've only been dating someone a few weeks and you found that out you'd break up with them."
"Look, I know I'm obviously biased now. If you'd asked me before I knew I can't tell you what I'd say. But if I love someone I'm not gonna give a shit about their genetics."
"We've been dating for a few weeks, Nance, he doesn't love me."
"You love him."
"Shut up," Tyler hisses, like he's behind them, like he'll hear. "You see how my situation sucks all the more for it."
"Okay, well, no reasonable person cares about your genetics in this situation. You're not going to die, it's not going to hurt anyone, it's not like you're having kids. You know who else is- what the fuck are you meant to call it?"
"You asked me."
"You know who else is kin-of-kin?" Tyler almost misses what she's trying to say because he can't stop himself from laughing. "Shut up, I haven't had time to think about it. You know who else? Like, all royalty. I don't think Kate Middleton or Meghan Markle gave a shit that their partner's family tree hardly branches."
"That's different, though. That's all cousins, often pretty far apart. My parents are father and daughter."
"Honestly, thanks for the clarification because I didn't want to ask, but like. All the royal inbreeding adds up. Oh, Egyptian pharaohs? They were often brother and sister who married."
"I'm not fucking incestuous myself, Nance."
"I don't know what I said that implied that. Are you worried he's going to think that? Because he shouldn't."
"When people hear incest, they assume that just because it's around you you're a part of it. My father is the only incestuous person in my family tree and he fucked the rest of us up for it. People hear inbred and think incestuous, it's sure to mess up how he thinks of me."
"With clarification and time it won't."
Tyler takes a deep breath. Maybe she's right; maybe it's actually quite simple. Maybe Colby will react badly at first, but when Tyler gets the chance to sit him down and talk, it won't be so bad. After all, like everyone's said, Tyler isn't having any biological kids ever, it doesn't change anything about him, it's not like he's going to die, the sickness is not his own.
Maybe it'll be okay.
But then there's still Scarlett, there's still everything else that could go wrong.
"That's not all that could fuck things up between us," Tyler mutters. "There's a lot of shit that could blow it up. Scarlett and everything we just said, remember?"
"That's probably not going to be a problem."
"But it might be, and that combined with everything else- wouldn't you leave a boyfriend who was that complicated?"
"I'm not Colby. No, and I'm not Colby but I'm not so sure he would either- he's put up with all this, why wouldn't he put up with one last thing?"
"Put up with. That's exactly it. He's put up with so much, it's too much to ask for for him to put up with these things, isn't it? That's gotta be the breaking point where he decides it's not worth it."
"Apparently he went through a lot of people to find you. You're the first person he wants to put his dick into more than once, doesn't that count for something?"
"I'm sure there's plenty of fucking people who would let him-"
"Oh my god, I was using a humorous turn of phrase. You're the first person he's wanted to date in a long time, since a woman he only really married for the child. I don't think genetics that can't matter or a weird family that he already knew was weird is gonna change anything about that."
"We've got a seventeen year age gap, he's older than my mother, we've been dating a matter of weeks- we're not soulmates, it can end easily."
"Well, for one, he's also only older than your sister," Tyler doesn't laugh, but he does crack the tiniest smile, "but anyway, why are you so adamant about this? You're talking like you don't want it to work out."
"I d-do." Wow. That was an unexpected crack in his voice. "I do want it to work out."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
"Everything, Nance. It always falls apart. I've never been able to make anyone stay, why would that change now?"
"Hey, hey, hey." She grabs his face with both hands. "You've been able to make people stay when you love them."
"One person," Tyler concedes for just a second before adding, "couldn't keep him alive, though."
Nancy grips his cheeks with most likely, hopefully, more force than intended. "Shut up. I'm not even going to grace that with a response. I'm talking about how the only people in your life are the people you want there. You've dated random people here and there, but they haven't stayed because you have no interest in making them stay. You leave them. Your friends have always stayed because you've wanted to keep us around. Kevin stayed for as long as he could just for you, because you loved him. After all this shit, Colby is still here, because you love him."
"He doesn't know that."
"Do you think you have to tell someone you love them for them to know, Tyler?"
Tyler stares at her, and closes his eyes when he can no longer bear to let her see that he feels the truth in those words.
"My point is, your love seems pretty important to those who have it. I don't understand what you're worried about."
Tyler puts a hand over Nancy's. "You know that logic doesn't always stop me from worrying, right?"
Nancy smiles. "Nothing stops you from worrying. Wanna go home?"
Tyler nods. "You excited to have Kali staying over?"
Nancy laughs. "Maybe."