Tyed - Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Tyler takes a deep breath and just does it, using all of his courage in that one action. He can hear a faint voice behind the door, but the talking stops the minute he knocks.
"Come in, please," calls a much clearer, more familiar voice. Tyler's heart gives a final, pounding flutter before he opens the door and steps in, frozen just inside the entrance.
The back of the room is covered almost entirely by windows, tinted against the sunlight, while the walls are covered in a white and gold wallpaper and chestnut sideboard with a couple of small paintings hanging next to bookshelves. The bookshelves are filled to the brim with books, but Tyler doesn't really get a moment to inspect them, because his eyes are drawn to the desk in front of him. Colby's sitting with his back to the windows, leaning back in his chair; across from him sits a man who stands up on Tyler's arrival, eyeing him up with curiosity. Tyler casts a glance towards him, but he's more concerned with Colby.
He looks different in this environment. He's got a casual confidence about him- not that he didn't have that before- but with a suit, in an office, in a fancy hotel, he's incredibly intimidating. He still wears his earrings, and Tyler can see a glittering ring on his right hand; thankfully not his left, although in all honesty Tyler couldn't say he would back off if Colby was married. He feels shitty for thinking that, but it's the honest truth. The way Colby's looking at him makes it impossible to consider not doing this.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Tyler says, feeling his confidence return with that smouldering gaze fixed on him. The other man frowns lightly, and Colby's forced to turn his attention back to the first guest, just to get him out of the way.
"My apologies, Oliver," Colby says, drawing it out slightly longer than necessary. "You were saying?"
"I was about to say, this is a discussion we have to have another time." Tyler's not fluent in business politeness, but he is fluent in passive-aggressive, so he can translate it well enough as "not in front of him". The man has an accent that's either American or Canadian, Tyler can't tell. "I'm leaving this Thursday. If you'd like, we can catch up before then."
"I'll have a look at my schedule," Colby answers, "but I don't think I have a moment free until Friday."
Oliver smiles a very fake smile. "Well, unfortunately I can't postpone my flight. I have two children under two, you understand," he says, before standing. "We'll have to sort this out via email. Goodbye."
"Alright." Colby seems to turn to stone, almost outright frosty, as opposed to the pretending he'd been doing before. He's still pretending, it's just very strained. "Goodbye."
Oliver leaves then, glancing back towards Tyler with badly-hidden annoyance and he makes his exit. Tyler waits until he's a little way down the hallway and then closes the door behind him.
"What was that about?" Tyler asks as Colby seems to stare daggers through the door. "Is that normal?"
"No, that guy is just... a waste of human life." Colby closes his eyes and sighs. When he opens his eyes again, they immediately fix Tyler with a stare. To say they're the colour of honey would imply a sweetness that isn't there; they're more like burnished gold, cold. The coldness of his eyes doesn't shadow the pull Tyler feels towards him, nor, it seems, the reverse. "Whatever you're doing with your life, Tyler, don't go into business."
"I'm not." Tyler walks over to the desk, leaning against the side of it. It feels natural to follow the course, to let the magnet pull him. "I'm studying to be an engineer."
"Studying?" Colby raises an eyebrow. Tyler waits for him to elaborate, stress creeping up his spine when he doesn't and Tyler realises it's him who should be speaking. Such a simple thing throws him, and he struggles to regain his composure.
"I'm in my second year of uni," he says finally, unsure why he's so nervous suddenly. Maybe it's because he's so, so far out of his depth and he doesn't know how to swim, and Colby isn't throwing him a lifeline. "I'm nineteen."
That seems to give Colby pause, although you'd barely know from how unwavering his gaze is. When Tyler spoke to Colby yesterday, he never seemed exactly open, but he was certainly not as hard to read as he's being right now. Tyler holds his breath on every word.
"Does it bother you?" Colby asks after a moment, leaning back in his chair. Tyler's drawn to every movement he makes; everything seems slow, deliberate, self-assured. "That I'm thirty-four."
Colby holds himself like a cat, regarding everyone else as a cornered mouse with nowhere to run. Now, without the painless haze alcohol creates, the uncertainty that puts into Tyler sends his heart into a frenzy, his hormones raging, adrenaline spiking in his bloodstream. He's alone in a room with this man and his last concern is an age gap.
"I don't care." Tyler's voice comes out more strangled than he intended. It take more courage than he thought he had to say, "I like you."
Colby's body language is subtle; sitting up a little straighter, leaning just that little bit closer. The weight of the air around them seems to press down on Tyler, clenching on his lungs like he's drowning or suffocating. He's never been one to listen to warning signs that tell him he's about to do something reckless. He's not going to start now.
"I should tell you to leave me alone," Colby says. His voice is a low bass, like the lowest note on a guitar, resonating in Tyler's heart.
When he registers the words, Tyler frowns slightly, thinking over what that could possibly mean. He wants to say something smart in response, but all he can think of to say is the question now brought to mind. He tilts his head a little and asks, "why?"
Colby stands suddenly, and Tyler forgot how tall he was. Tyler instinctually leans back and tilts his head up to maintain eye contact. He can feel his racing heart anew; Colby hasn't even touched him yet, but now suddenly Tyler's thinking about the kiss from last night again and he's not sure how long he'll last if he doesn't get to do it again.
"Don't ask questions like that," Colby says, his tone soft and gentle despite the demand in the words themselves. He tilts his head ever so slightly, and those golden eyes examine Tyler's face, raking over every feature and leaving Tyler feeling naked and vulnerable. He turns his head away, his long blonde curls helping to hide his face. He just needs a moment to breathe, a moment to think, and Colby isn't going to give him that. He hates it almost as much as he likes it.
"Why?" Tyler persists, finding his gaze wandering now; it doesn't wander for very long, though, because all of a sudden his face is pulled to the side and he's looking into yellow eyes again. Colby's hand grips his chin, and Tyler can't help the tiny, tiny gasp he lets out at that. That particular gesture leaves him a little on edge, but he can't explain why. He just hopes Colby didn't hear that noise.
Their faces must be no more than six inches apart, Tyler's sure of it. Colby's heat radiates to him, and the touch of his fingers on Tyler's chin gives off a kind of gentle electricity that hypes Tyler's heart into overdrive; he can feel everything for a moment, and then, just as suddenly, he feels cold and alone again. In no time at all, Colby's three steps away, looking out of the window and not at Tyler. Tyler's question is ignored, and he feels far, far worse than before.
"Why are you here, Tyler?" Colby asks instead, a tone of scepticism leaking into his words. Again, Tyler waits for him to elaborate for a little bit too long before realising he's the one who's supposed to speak.
"What do you mean?" Tyler frowns, annoyed now. He thought they were getting somewhere, and now that's reversed and all of the raw emotion that was rising in him has nowhere to go but anger. "Is it not obvious?"
"Generally speaking, yes. I want to know your specific reasoning," Colby answers, and his matter-of-fact tone just pisses Tyler off even more. They want each other, it's obvious; why isn't Colby acting like it all of a sudden? Did he change his mind?
"Look, if you're not into me I can just fucking leave. I'm not going to sit here and beg for your help if that's what you're after," Tyler says, crossing his arms. Even through the bitterness, he can see his bad choices unfolding with full clarity; when Colby turns to face him, frowning, Tyler's aware he just made a terrible decision. He doesn't exactly back down, though.
Colby takes a moment to consider his reaction. "You know, I've never met anyone quite like you, Tyler."
Tyler has no idea how to respond to that. Colby doesn't say anything else about it, and the lack of emotional response is both baffling and annoying. Colby comes closer again, and Tyler wonders if he's finally going to kiss him, his heart spiking back up hopefully. The anger dissipates until Colby stops a step away and Tyler's left in limbo.
"What do you want, Tyler?" Colby asks, soft but impossible to ignore. When Tyler thinks of his answer he realises it's the same question as before. He has two ways of answering, and he's not sure which one Colby wants.
He focuses on the floor, trying to draw the courage to answer the question truthfully. He takes too long, and the light touch of Colby's fingers brushing a lock of Tyler's hair behind his ear distracts him from any thought he could've been having. "What do you want?" Colby asks again, and Tyler strikes a match somewhere in his heart with the fuel Colby's just given him.
"I want you, and I don't want to go home," Tyler answers. The openness stings, and Tyler clutches his own arms as though they can stabilise him. He tries to open his mouth to elaborate, but nothing comes out. He hopes Colby understands, at least.
The silence is deafening, and Tyler's gazing at the floor waiting for it to end. Colby's touch is so, so, so distracting, and that's all he can think about.
"May I see your phone?" Colby asks, and it's the last thing Tyler expects. With confusion, Tyler hands Colby his phone, unlocking it upon request. Colby takes out his own phone and types a few things into it from Tyler's phone before handing it back. He'd closed whatever he was looking at, so Tyler doesn't see what it was.
"What did you do?" Tyler asks, and Colby just shakes his head. Miffed, Tyler decides to let that particular one slide, assuming he's going to find out soon enough. He's got more questions, and those take precedent over this one. He asks the first and most pressing one. "Are you going to tell me what you want?"
Colby puts his phone down on the desk and returns to his chair; Tyler's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. His anger is gone, but it's beginning to return now that he's feeling dismissed. Colby takes a moment to answer. "I'll say it again, since I must have not made it clear enough." His tone drives Tyler's mood down, and then his next words drive it right back up. This one conversation is a rollercoaster that Tyler wasn't prepared for; he never could be. "I like you."
"Okay, and I like you, so..." Tyler's not sure how to end that sentence, although the questions are definitely there; there's too many of them to pick one. So what's the problem? So what are we doing? So why isn't this straightforward? Why aren't we fucking yet?
"Who's the girl in your background image?" Colby asks suddenly, and Tyler has to rewind to remember what the background image on his phone even is. Colby doesn't sound jealous exactly, which Tyler takes as a good sign, although he kind of would like the confirmation that Colby likes him enough to be jealous.
"My best friend," he answers easily enough. "Her name's Nancy. We've known each other since high school."
"Is she the friend that took you to the club, Pandora?" Colby asks. Tyler either never learned the name of the club or had forgotten it. Colby's not looking at Tyler, instead typing something into his computer; Tyler leans over to look, but as he does Colby turns his chair towards him and gives his full attention. Tyler cares more about that than whatever he was doing.
"No," Tyler answers, not sure where this is going, but cooperating. The questioning is slightly uncomfortable, but he's swimming instead of drowning now. He wants to be doing much less talking and much more of some other things, but he can be patient. "I ran into my ex and he took me there." He can see the question Colby's about to ask and answers it. "His name's Lachlen. We dated in high school."
"Lachlen, with the purple hair, yes?" Colby asks, and when Tyler nods, he immediately regrets his honesty. "So, then, you're the boyfriend that cheated on him?"
"I mean-" Tyler chokes up, caught between bad choices. Tyler knew that Colby had talked to Lachlen; he must've learned he had only had one relationship prior to Levi, learned he'd been cheated on, and remembered that. Tyler has to make a quick decision between lying and trying to justify his terrible actions, and he can't make either. "I don't- yes, but- I'm not-"
"Just be honest with me, Tyler," Colby says, exasperation tainting his words. He stands up again, slowly taking steps until he's on Tyler's left.
Tyler turns to face him, his back now against the desk. He turns his eyes away, unable to admit the truth and stare into those wolves' eyes at the same time. He feels like he's been shoved under a heat lamp. "I did cheat on him," Tyler says, "but it's not exactly something I'm proud of or okay with. How did you remember-"
There's a gentle radiant heat that Tyler feels first, and then he hears Colby's voice closer than he expected, and his heart skips a beat. "How can I trust that you wouldn't cheat on me, Tyler?"
Tyler takes a moment to steady his breathing. Looking up at Colby is a mistake; his intense gaze is definitely the most disorienting thing, but what's almost worse is the proximity of their lips, their bodies. Tyler just has to reach out. "Wouldn't, or won't?" he breathes, tilting his head ever so slightly. "What are you implying?"
Everything happens at once. Colby leans forward and slams his hand on the desk, a noise that, admittedly, does make Tyler jump. With Colby now towering over him, Tyler's instincts push him back, throwing a hand back to support his weight and nearly slipping off the desk. The flip his heart does, he decides, must be incidental.
Tyler's never been here. It's not that he's never been in this location, although that's true. It's that he's never been in this role. It's hard to pin down any one thing about what's different between this and Tyler's usual encounters, yet it's clear to see that Tyler wouldn't usually be the one backed up against the desk. He doesn't want to say that this is something he likes; there's a pride he holds near and dear to him, and he's not going to give that up to Colby just yet.
"I can't decide what I'm implying," Colby answers, his voice low and eyes narrowed, "until I decide whether or not I can trust you."
Tyler pushes himself upwards, just to inch closer to Colby's face. Tyler's got a smug little grin that he's trying to repress as he says, "I want you to trust me."
"Tyler." A touch at his lower back causes him to freeze, sending his thoughts into overdrive. He tries to close the distance, but Colby pulls away, instead keeping eye contact with the gaze that could burn holes in anyone if he stared for long enough. Tyler's beginning to feel that intimidation, and he doesn't like the stirrings that come along with it. "Can I?"
Tyler can't avoid the question now, and he's forced to genuinely consider what Colby's saying. Tyler closes his eyes just so he can think. Colby wanting exclusivity would mean a few things: first of all, it would mean Tyler gets to have him, which is the most immediate and pressing issue on Tyler's mind. Second, it would mean Tyler wouldn't have to go home, which is the biggest problem he's facing. He'd have habits to break, but when Tyler compares the potential losses to the potential gains, the choice is easy to make.
He opens his eyes and meets Colby's again. They're gold and expectant. "You can trust me," Tyler says with certainty. The pause shows not hesitance, but genuine thought, and Colby understands that. A kind of half-laugh accompanies his lopsided smile, and then, finally, he leans in to kiss Tyler, pulling their chests together, but it only last for a moment. Tyler feels Colby pulling away and wonders what he could've done wrong now.
"I will hold you to that promise," Colby says softly as he takes a step back. Tyler sits up straighter, breathing steadily to try and relax his racing heart. Colby turns his back on Tyler again, heading over to the window. "I still have a question."
"Go on," Tyler says, straightening his shirt a little bit. He's self-conscious all of a sudden, worried that he's not attractive enough; he's usually so confident. Again, his usual experiences are flipped. Now he's the one uncertain and stumbling over himself to try and impress Colby.
Colby turns to face him, fixing Tyler with his stare again. It's so hard to think when Colby's looking at him like that. In some sense, it activates his fight-or-flight reflex, the adrenaline getting confused in his body and making him want to run away just as much as he wants to run to Colby.
"Where is home?" Colby asks, and Tyler blanches.
Tyler spent the first twelve years of his life in Darkfilly Copse, way out in the backwoods of Victoria, at least an hour's drive from any major town. After the multitudes of arrests, including Tyler's father, Tyler's mother used the help that everyone in the little town received from charity to move to Gem Varily, a suburb that Tyler'd lived in for all of high school. His mum still lived there, and that's where he'd be going back to if he was kicked out of his apartment.
"Gem Varily," Tyler answers, because it's the truth. Somehow, though, it feels like a lie. Darkfilly Copse is what feels like the horrible home.
"What's so bad about Gem Varily?" Colby asks, raising an eyebrow. Something about his behaviour tells Tyler that he knows it's not the location that bothers Tyler the most.
Tyler sighs, all his needy desires forgotten the moment he thought about Darkfilly Copse. "It's... my mum," he says, which is pretty true. She's a terrible mother, and Tyler's never denied that. It's not really her fault, though. "I really don't want to go back and live with her."
"Can I ask why?" Colby pushes, and despite the fact that he's explicitly given Tyler an outlet to not answer, he feels pushed to give him the truth anyway. "Is she homophobic?"
"Somewhat, but it's not really the biggest issue," Tyler sighs. He crosses his arms across himself, searching for warmth. "She's just... she never wanted me." Or his brother, but Tyler doesn't really want to bring him up. "I don't really want to talk about it."
"I get it. Sorry." Colby bites his lip, and Tyler really wants to tell him that he absolutely doesn't get it, but he bites his tongue. If he fully explained himself, Colby would never say that.
"Can I ask you something?" Tyler says, his mind wandering back to last night. When Colby gives him a nod, he takes a second to draw up the courage and asks, "you said last night that you were waiting for it to be different."
"In what context?" Colby asks, seeming to have genuinely forgot.
Tyler turns his face away, not wanting to repeat it. He realises he's blushing, and curses himself for it; nobody else is able to make him blush like that. "I asked you about... what you did at that club. You said you were waiting for it to be different."
"And?" Colby says, and Tyler doesn't have to be looking at him to tell he's smirking, making Tyler say it. At least, Tyler assumes from the sound of his voice that that's what he's doing.
"Is it?" Tyler stands straight, approaching Colby where he stands by the window. He takes his arm, and Colby turns to face him with something unnameable burning in those yellow eyes. It almost takes Tyler aback, but he quickly regains his mental footing, turning his chin up. "Is it different?"
It happens quickly, but for Tyler it almost seems like slow motion. They're standing by the window, side by side. Colby's head tilts, and something behind his eyes snaps like a rope pulled too taut; it gives way, and in a sudden motion Tyler finds his back shoved up against the window, and for a moment he feels desperately certain that he's going to fall through the glass somehow, reaching forward and grabbing Colby for support. One of Colby's hands is around his waist, and the other's grabbed Tyler's chin, forcing him to look up at him.
Tyler shuffles just enough to find he can't move. When he thinks about the situation he's in, he can't help but think it's absurd. Nobody's ever treated him like this, that he knows. He's not sure how typical it is, especially for Colby, but that's not a thought he's worrying much about, either. It dashes his pride to admit his initial reaction, so he doesn't. Instead, he keeps a smug defiance about himself, refusing the truth. That doesn't mean he's going to complain, though.
Colby leans in close, and his breath near Tyler's ear makes him shiver. "You make it very fucking hard to restrain myself," Colby whispers, and the chill that goes through Tyler at those words is inexplicable. "So yes, I'd say it's different."
This time, Tyler's able to capture Colby in another kiss before he can get away. Tyler slinks his arm around Colby's neck to keep him pulled close, putting all the passion that's been building up into the kiss. He gets what he wants for a moment, with Colby responding in force, pushing Tyler up against the window and gripping at his hips; but then, just as suddenly, Colby backs away. When Tyler looks at his eyes, the rope that he saw break appears to have been tethered again, and Colby's self-control returns.
He looks at Tyler almost apologetically, and it takes Tyler a moment to realise why. Colby's phone is ringing. Tyler looks down and away, wordlessly telling Colby to answer it. He picks it up and gives a practised greeting that gives away exactly nothing about what's going on, somehow. Tyler pushes off from the window, walking around to the other side of the desk. Colby hasn't said anything to him yet, but he's watching Tyler with a careful gaze as he listens.
"Well, I'll have to see about that..." Colby begins to say, but the person on the other end keeps talking. Tyler begins to gesture to ask if he should leave, but it doesn't get through. "Could you hold on one second?" Colby asks politely, taking the phone away from his ear to let Tyler talk.
"Should I go?" Tyler asks, feeling like he definitely doesn't want to go, but confident he'll see Colby again soon.
Colby thinks for a moment. "It's probably best. I'll text you soon."
Tyler nods, risking one last thing before he goes. Colby puts his phone back to his ear and indicates for the other person to keep talking, and as he does so, Tyler goes around the back of the desk, takes Colby's face in his hands and kisses him. For the first time, it's Colby who looks stunned; and with that, Tyler heads towards the door. Colby's voice is almost as steady as it was before, except Tyler hears the tiniest of stammers. He caught him off guard.