Underground - Chapter 19: Chapter 19

The next morning, I approached the special forces squad, Miller and Johnson close at my heels.
I motioned for Miller and Johnson to line up with the other six members of the squad and then moved to stand beside Levi at the front of the group, who stood watching us, his hands held behind his back. He raised an eyebrow at me. "You only brought two cadets over with you?"
"They're the only two I need." I retorted back at him, irked slightly at the hint of superiority laced in his tone.
I glanced over at Johnson and Miller, who stood at attention in the back row, alongside the girl, Braus, and the horse-faced kid, Kirstein. Arlert, who stood beside Jaeger in the front row, flashed Miller a shy smile as she took her place in the squad, and she blushed, looking down at the ground at her feet.
Levi stepped forward. "Alright, brats. We're all in this together now." He glanced over at my two cadets with dark eyes and said severely, "You two. Newbies." They snapped to attention. He glared at them both. "Tch. Don't get left behind. We move faster here in the special forces, and I expect you both to keep up."
"Yes, Corporal!" Miller and Johnson echoed in unison.
I stepped up beside Levi, and crossing my arms over my chest, glared at the rest of the special forces cadets, Jaeger especially, before saying sternly, "And on that note, if I hear of any of you...." I swept my gaze over them one by one. "Giving my cadets a hard time unnecessarily, you'll have to answer to me. They're your teammates now, and you will treat them as such. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Corporal."
"Oi, Braus, Springer." Levi flicked his fingers at the two cadets dismissively. "Go and ready the horses." The two took off toward the stables, shoving each other playfully as they jogged. Levi turned his attention to the rest of the cadets in front of us. "The rest of you brats make sure all of the equipment is in working order. We don't want another failed 3DM on our hands in the middle of the field."
Johnson blushed slightly at his words as they all started off toward the stables after Springer and Braus.
I glanced over at Levi, who stood watching them go with a blank expression, and then said, "So....we're really stuck with each other then."
He flicked his dark eyes over to my face and stared at me for a moment without saying anything, letting the silence build, before he finally said, "Tch. It appears that way."
"Are you going to be okay?" He furrowed his brow at my words, as if wondering why I was asking about him. "I mean, you know, are you going to be okay working beside someone from the....Underground?" I whispered the last word sarcastically, holding my hand up to my mouth to cover my lips as if I was worried someone would hear what I was saying.
"Oi, (L/N)." He turned to me, his arms crossed over his chest, irritation in his voice. "Are you going to be okay without the use of your arms and legs? Because I'll break them both if you keep it up with the attitude."
I scoffed. "How many times have you threatened me with that, Ackerman? Nothing ever actually happens."
He took a step toward me, his eyes darkening. "Press your luck this time, (L/N). I dare you. See what I'm capable of."
I stepped toward him as well, bringing us closer together, so close in fact that I could feel his warm breath on my face as we glared at each other. His eyes were so much more black up close, as if they were endless and you could just fall into them without any effort. "Try it, Ackerman. And then you can see what I'm capable of."
We stood there in tense silence for a few moments, our gazes locked, and I began to lose focus on what we were fighting about the longer I stared into his eyes at this distance. We were so close again. How did this keep happening? How could I let this keep happening?
I could smell a faint whiff of his aftershave and his scent, which I knew so well after all of these years. He had always smelled the same. Like tea, and earth, and sweat, all rolled into one heady cologne.
"Oi, (L/N)." He broke the silence, but didn't pull back from me like I had expected. He stayed still and parted his lips, as if to say something else, his dark, deep eyes softening just a tiny bit, only noticeable because of how close we were.
Suddenly, the cadets came back, leading saddled and ready horses behind them, breaking the tense, expectant air of the moment.
I stepped back from Levi and turned as they came up, putting my hands on my hips as I looked them all over as they came to a stop in front of us. Jaeger stepped forward, pulling his horse behind him, and glanced over at Levi before saying to me, "Everything's ready, Corporal (L/N)."
I gave him a curt nod. "Thank you, Jaeger." I skimmed my gaze over the rest of the cadets. "Alright then, I guess we're ready to head out."
The cadets began to swing up onto their mounts.
Johnson came forward, leading my horse as well as his own behind him, and handed me the reigns to the large, dappled mare. I gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Johnson."
I glanced over at Levi, who was dutifully ignoring me again as he swung up onto his tall, black stallion, the reins held loosely in his hands as he adjusted himself in the saddle.
"Brother-san!" My attention was drawn back to Johnson, who was suddenly ambushed by Mory, who had come running from the barracks, tears streaming down her small, pink cheeks.
Hange was close behind her, slightly out of breath as she looked at me apologetically and said, "Sorry, (F/N). She got away from me...."
I waved my hand at her. "It's fine, Hange. Let her say goodbye to her brother."
Mory was clinging to Johnson's legs, large, wet tears splashing down her cheeks and onto the pants of his uniform as she cried out, "Please don't go, brother-san! I don't want you to go!"
Johnson attempted to pry her off of him, but she cried louder and hugged closer to him. He glanced over at me, giving me an apologetic look, and then crouched down beside her. He took her small hand in his and brushed some errant locks of hair back from her damp face as she sniffled and met his gaze. He gave her a reassuring smile as he said gently, "Come on, Mory. You know I have to go out on missions. It's my job as a scout. But I promise I'll be back. And when I am, we can play that game again that you like. Okay?"
Mory sniffed loudly, wiping the back of her hand across her nose as she said in a tearful voice, "Promise you'll be back, brother-san?"
He pulled her to him and gave her a tight hug. "I promise, Mory."
Watching them together, saying goodbye, I was reminded of a time, years ago, when Levi and I had been in their shoes, in not much a different situation than this.
FLASHBACK
I sprinted through the crumbling houses of the underground, my breath gasping in and out between my dry lips as I ran. My lungs felt as if they were on fire, but I couldn't stop. I had to get there. What if he had left without saying goodbye? What if I had missed him?
I skidded around the corner of the last house before the entrance to aboveground and there he was, standing alone before the large hole that led upward.
"Levi!" I called out as I rushed toward him, my voice catching in my throat due to lack of breath.
He turned as I called out to him, just in time for me to crash into his arms, almost bowling both of us over.
I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him tightly, as I said breathlessly, "I was worried you had left already."
I felt his arms go around me in return and he said, amusement lacing his voice, "Come on, (F/N). You know I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye."
I didn't look up at him. I didn't want him to see the tears that were beginning to gather in my eyes. "I wasn't sure." My voice was muffled by his shirt.
He pushed me back from him so he could look at me, his dark eyes piercing mine, and gave me a half smile as he teased, "Oi, (F/N). You're not going to cry are you?"
I punched him in the shoulder through my tears. "Shut up, Levi. Don't be an ass." I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes and stepped back from him, biting my lip as I studied him. Finally, I said quietly, "Do you really have to go?"
He looked sad for a moment. "This was the plan. I've got to go and join the scouts aboveground." He attempted to give me a reassuring smile. "It's what we've always known was going to happen, (F/N). You don't need me anyway." He chucked his hand under my chin. "Look at you, all grown up. You don't need me to protect you anymore." Instantly, after he said it, the smile dropped from his face, as if he knew that it was a lie. Once he left, I'd be alone with my father again, and there'd be no one to protect me from him anymore.
I felt the tears well up in my eyes again and he noticed. "Oi, (F/N)." He stepped toward me and hugged me to him tightly, burying his face in my dirty hair for a moment before saying, "Come on. You'll be alright." He pushed me back from him again to stare into my eyes as he put his hands on my shoulders and said sternly, "Besides. I promise I'll be back. Your dad can tell you you can't leave now, but in a few years, when you're eighteen, he won't have any say over you anymore. And then, I'll be back for you. And you can come with me aboveground." He flashed me a grin. "And we can raise hell together in the survey corps."
I threw my arms around him again, the tears falling rapidly down my cheeks as I said shakily, "Do you promise you'll come back, Levi?" I glanced up at him through the tears. "Please. Promise me. I'm not going to make it without you here if I don't know for sure you're coming back for me."
He gave me a strained smile as he wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. "I promise, (F/N). I'll never leave you behind again."
FLASHBACK END
I shook my head to clear the memory from my vision and glanced over at Johnson, who had finally calmed down Mory enough to hand her back off to Hange.
As Hange took the little girl away from the squad, Johnson met my gaze and gave me a slight smile. "Sorry about that. Everything okay, Corporal?"
"Yeah, it's fine." I swung up onto my mount, pulling the reins up into my hands as Johnson mounted his horse as well. I pulled my horse around to face the group of ready cadets behind me, letting all emotion fall from my face. Maybe Levi was onto something. You had to let everything go when you left the safety of the walls and headed out into the field. Emotion just got everyone in trouble. I swept my gaze over the cadets and then stated loudly, "Alright, special forces. Let's head out. We have titans to kill."
Levi nodded curtly as he pulled his stallion up beside me. "She's right, brats. Those bastards aren't going to take care of themselves." He raised an eyebrow at the group of cadets before us. "That's your job. So don't fail....or I'll make it my personal job to feed you to them myself."