Underground - Chapter 35: Chapter 35

The only reason we ended pulling apart was because Hange showed up.
We heard the footsteps coming down the hallway toward us at the same time and Levi broke our lips apart and stepped back from me, leaning against the railing behind him as I hurriedly straightened my hair.
He shot me a smirk as I attempted to look presentable again, and I glared at him, mouthing silently across the gap between us, "Shut up" just as Hange poked her head out the open doorway onto the balcony.
She looked between the two of us for a brief moment, not showing any inkling of knowing what was going on on her face, and then turned to me, her eyebrow raised. "Here you two are. (F/N), I was worried when you left so suddenly. Levi came to come and check on you. Is everything alright?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." I straightened, pushing myself up off the wall, knowing there was a slight blush spreading across my cheeks as I tried to avoid looking over at Levi. Hopefully it was dark enough that Hang wouldn't notice the redness on my skin. I shot her a smile, hoping to draw her attention away from the fact that I was extremely uncomfortable. "I just got a bit sick from the food. Not used to so many fancy dishes. I just needed to come and get some air."
Levi left the railing and walked past Hange, entering the castle again, and not looking in my direction as he said in a flat tone, "Tch. She's an adult, four eyes. Don't worry so much."
"Don't snap at me just because you aren't a good friend, Rivaille." Hange followed inside after him, shooting me a look over her shoulder as she gave me a slight wink.
I felt the blush deepen on my cheeks. Hell, she knew something was up. I should have known I couldn't hide anything from her.
Trailing behind the two of them, we all went back to the dining hall, where the feast was winding down.
I took my seat across from Serpico again and he gave me a gentle smile as I sat down, asking politely, "Feeling better?"
I nodded. "Yes, thank you."
As the courses were cleared away by the servants and desserts were brought out to take their places, I glanced over at Levi, who was seated beside me. He had been there all night, but I had tried not to pay attention to him earlier, thinking that if he was going to ignore me all night, I'd attempt to do the same.
However, things had certainly changed since the feast had begun.
I dropped my eyes back to the plate in front of me, hurriedly hiding the small smile that had flickered across my lips at the thought. Damn it, here I was, being distracted by Levi again. I should be using the time we had left in the palace to learn what I could from the generals.
As one of the maids set down a plate of dessert in front of me, I picked up my fork and turned back to Serpico, giving him a small smile as I said, "Serpico, I was wondering if you would mind if I asked you a few questions."
He swallowed the bite of food he had put into his mouth and returned my smile, dabbing his mouth politely with his napkin as he said, "I would be more than happy to assist you where I can, Corporal (L/N)."
Levi shifted beside me and then I heard him mutter darkly under his breath, "Ask him when he and the other generals are going to get off their asses, leave the safety of this pompous castle, and come beside us to fight the titans with their own hands."
I raised my napkin to my lips, pretending to wipe my mouth, but in reality, I was hiding my smile at his disgruntled comment from beside me. I kicked my foot into his leg under the table, hard enough that he swore under his breath and shot me a glare. Before I could pull my leg back from his, he slipped a hand underneath the table and caught my ankle with his fingers. I froze, keeping my face as normal as possible, my gaze away from him, even though my heart was pounding like crazy in my chest and I felt like I had stopped breathing altogether. He ran his slender fingers up under the hem of my dress and over the skin of my calf, his skin cool and smooth against my leg as he traced a pattern on my skin.
"Corporal (L/N)?"
I snapped my eyes upward to Serpico, who was giving me a slightly amused look from across the table. I pulled my leg away from Levi and tucked it back under my chair, giving the general a shaky smile and a nervous laugh before I got out, "I'm so sorry, Serpico. I was just lost in thought. Trying to think of a good question to start with."
I took a long drink from the wine goblet in front of me to wet my suddenly dry mouth, and I caught a smirk cross Levi's face from the corner of my eye as I tried to compose myself.
Damn it all. How did he always do this?
The rest of the feast went by quickly, and before I knew it, we were loading up into the wagon again, full of good food and conversation, to head back to the outer walls.
As we bumped along the road and exited underneath the large gate of Wall Sina, I glanced over at Levi, who was sitting across from me, watching the road ahead of us, and I couldn't help but smile. I had waited years to see the boy I had grown up with again. And I finally felt like I could maybe get him back.
We reached the barracks and unloaded silently in the darkness, Erwin once again helping Hange and I down from the wagon. We all entered the officer's quarters together and then went our separate ways to our rooms. It was late, and we were all starting to feel the day's activities start to catch up with us.
As I passed Hange to head to my room, she grabbed me by the arm briefly and said quietly, a grin on her face, "You owe me everything tomorrow, (F/N)."
I raised an eyebrow at her. I knew there was no use in trying to hide anything from her. She already knew. And why wouldn't I want her to? She was my closest friend here.
She released me with one more sly grin and a wink and then headed off to her quarters, leaving me to walk the rest of the way to mine alone in the dark.
When I reached my room, I lit the candles sitting on the bedside table, and walked over to the mirror, taking one last look at myself in the dress before I took it off again for who knows how long. I might never get another chance to wear it.
Finally, with a sigh, I undid the buttons along the top of the neckline and slipped the fabric down over my shoulders, letting the red satin material fall to the floor around my feet. I carefully stepped out of the puddle of dress and picked it up, taking it over to the chest at the foot of my bed. Carefully folding the material, I laid the dress and the matching slippers on the pile of clothes, and after taking one last look at the clothing, I shut the lid of the chest.
Pulling on the most comfortable pair of leggings I owned, I then slipped my worn and old cropped shirt over my head and stepped back over to the mirror to begin taking my hair out. I studied the outfit I wore for a moment as I took the pins out of my hair-the crop top hit just above my belly button, my skin glowing orange in the candlelight, the neck was stretched, so that the fabric fell off my shoulders, and the leggings were stained. As I released my hair from the elegant configuration that had held it all evening, I couldn't help but think that this was the true me, the way I saw myself. I was from the Underground, I was a corporal in the scouting legion, I was constantly covered in blood or sweat at any given moment. I wasn't meant to belong in a fancy palace.
I remembered what Levi had said, about me being different, and suddenly, I felt okay with all of that. I'd only ever wanted one person to accept me all of my life, the most important person to me, and turns out, he always had.
A soft knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts.
Crossing the room, I opened the door and was surprised to see Levi standing in the dark hallway. My heart jumped at the sight of him-his dark hair slicked back and still wet, obviously from a bath, his white, loose shirt open at the neckline, revealing the skin of his chest, his dark leggings that hugged his legs in all of the right places. I had thought he couldn't get anymore attractive than when he was in uniform and his harness, but apparently, I had been wrong.
"Oi, (L/N)."
I snapped my gaze back up this face, a slight blush blooming across my cheeks as he raised an eyebrow at me and said, "Can I come in or are you just going to make me stand out in the hallway all night?"
I stepped back from the doorway and let him in, crossing the room again to sit down on the bed as I faced him. He shut the door quietly behind him and then leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest as he studied me for a few silent moments. Just as I was beginning to fidget under his dark gaze, he asked seriously, "Is this what you want?"
I was caught off guard by the question. "I don't...."
He pushed himself up off the doorway and strode over to me, reaching me in the blink of an eye. He took my chin in his hand, his fingers digging into my skin slightly as he forced me to look at him. His black eyes, which appeared even darker in the flickering candlelight, held my gaze, not letting me look away, as he said intensely, "No. I need you to think about this. Think about it hard. I told you, I promised I'd stay away from you. You deserve better. And if that's what you truly do want, I'll do it. I think that's what you should do. Just tell me to go. Tell me to leave. You're better off if the promise remains intact."
He released his hold on my chin, and my skin suddenly felt cold where the warmth of his fingers left it. He rubbed an agitated hand across his forehead, seeming disgusted with himself, his weakness, and then said, a slight hint of anger in his tone, "Tch. I let myself get carried away earlier. I shouldn't have done that to you. It just makes everything harder. I'm an idiot." His eyes flashed up to mine again, and I was caught off guard by the intensity there. "So that's why I need you to think about this. Really think about it. Is this what you want? Because I have to know, for my own peace of mind, that you want this. And you're not just doing this because you feel like you have to, because of all of the crap I said to you earlier. You don't owe me anything, (F/N)."
I watched him for a moment, standing there in the middle of the room, his eyes on mine, the candlelight flickering over his face. I had never seen him so uncertain, so open, so vulnerable before. And in that brief moment, I saw it all again-the boy who had held my hand when I was scared or upset, the boy who had promised to always protect me from the father who hurt me, the boy who sat by my side as I cried and held me, not saying a word, and the boy who had promised to never leave me behind again.
He was still watching me expectantly, his dark eyes flicking across my face as he waited for my reaction. I stayed sitting on the bed for a moment, silent, and then I flicked my fingers at him, raising my eyebrow at him as I said teasingly, "Come over here for a minute."
He crossed the room to stand in front of me, and even that small movement of him coming closer to me sent my heart racing in my chest. I swallowed hard, steeling myself. This wasn't like me. I wasn't forward. But I really did want this. I'd wanted it my entire life, and I had to show him that.
Forcing myself to stop thinking and just act, I reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt in my hands. I laid back on the bed, pulling him with me, so that he had to put his hands out on either side of my head as he leaned over me to stop from falling on top of me. His dark hair, still a bit damp, fell over his forehead and into his eyes as he met my gaze, our faces inches apart. I could feel his warm breath on my face, smell his familiar, comforting scent all around me. The fabric of his shirt, still clenched between my fingers, was soft on my skin.
The corner of my mouth pulled up into a slight smirk as I said quietly, "Oi, Ackerman." I released one of my hands and reached up to his face, tracing my finger gently over his lips as I flicked my eyes back up to his. His dark gaze was full of heat, but he stayed frozen under my hand. I raised an eyebrow at him. "If I kiss you, are you going to freak out on me?"
His lips curved into a small smile under my fingers as he recognized the phrase he had said to me all of those years ago, and then he reached up and wrapped his fingers around my wrist, pulling my hand away from his lips and pinning it above my head on the bed in one smooth movement.
And then he closed the distance between us.
I couldn't feel anything in that moment except heat and longing and intensity. My heart was pounding against the wall of my chest and my blood was rushing so loudly I could hear it in my ears. Every breath I took felt as if I would never be able to get enough air ever again.
Levi's lips never left mine, yet I felt like I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted him even closer still. The kiss was rough, passionate, expressing everything we'd never said to one another over the years.
His teeth grazed my bottom lip as he pulled back from me, just enough so that he could move his lips across my jaw and down my neck, leaving a trail of heat on my skin in their wake. He ran his free hand down the exposed skin of my abdomen, his fingers trailing gently along my hipbone, before he dropped his hand to my thigh.
As soon as I felt his fingers on my thigh, I started slightly, a small, fearful gasp escaping my lips. I broke our contact just for the briefest of moments as I startled, and Levi pulled back, his hand stopping its movements as he said in a low voice, "Oi, (F/N). Are you alright?"
I felt ashamed and flustered that I had let something ruin the moment. Something so stupid. "What? Yeah, I'm fine." I stammered out, trying to act like my heart wasn't pounding in my chest again, now for an entirely different reason. I avoided his gaze, a blush crossing my cheeks as I realized how childish I must seem. I felt angry tears begin to gather in the corners of my eyes.
Suddenly, I felt his hand on my chin again and he raised my face to force me to look at him. His dark eyes were soft as he looked at me, an expression I hadn't seen on his face for years, not since we were kids. His fingers were cool on my skin, despite the heat of the moment, and the familiar feeling was comforting. He reached up with his other hand and wiped the gathering of tears from my eyes with his thumb before he murmured to me, "I would never hurt you like that bastard you called a father did. I promise you."
I instantly felt warmth bloom through my chest at his words. Why was I panicking? This was Levi. He would never hurt me. I knew that. I knew it with all my being.
I put my hand up to his face and cupped his cheek in my palm for a brief moment, feeling his soft skin underneath mine. I gave him a slight smile and then said quietly, "I know, Levi. You're the only person I've ever felt completely safe with."
I dropped my hand from his face and then reached down, grabbing the edge of my shirt and pulling it off over my head in one smooth movement. He raised an eyebrow at me and I reached out, yanking his shirt up and over his head as I shot him a grin and said teasingly, "Now come on. This has already taken you ten years, dummy. I don't want to wait any longer."
He returned my grin and then leaned back over me, running his hands up along the sides of my body as he did so, his fingers grazing lightly over my bare skin making me shiver slightly. He noticed the shiver, his lips now at my ear, and I felt his warm breath on my skin as he chuckled slightly. "Tch. So demanding. Did you finally realize you don't have to take crap from anyone anymore?"
I gasped quietly as he nipped my earlobe with his teeth and said in a slightly breathless voice, "Ha. I've never taken crap from you." The feel of his lips against my skin as he ran them back along my jawline was distracting me. I couldn't think. He paused, his lips hovering just over mine, his hot breath on my face making me lose my train of thought, but I managed to murmur, "And don't think I ever will, Ackerman."
He chuckled again, his breath blowing gently on my skin, his lips almost touching mine. "I don't. I've never stood a chance when it comes to you, (F/N). And I never will."
He brought his lips down on mine again and as his hands explored my skin, I was lost, once again, in the heat, and the emotions, and the disbelief of the moment.
I had dreamed of this moment for years, but I'd never thought it would ever happen after we left the Underground. When we were Aboveground, feelings like this didn't exist, or so I had thought.
But I had been wrong. And as Levi's lips moved against mine, and his touch sent tingles throughout my body, I had never been happier to be wrong in my life.