Virgin Sacrifice to the Last Lycan - Chapter 133: Chapter 133

Helen POV
“What the hell, Helen? Are you trying to drown?!”
I sucked in air through the water that had leaked into my lungs and it ached so bad that I wanted to double over, but instead Justin linked is arms around my lower back and held me to his warm, bare chest. He made sure my head stayed above water while I caught my breath.
“I’m—I’m sorry but—but you wouldn’t come swim out if—”
He cracked a reserved smile and only shook his head, pushing my hair back as it sat tangled with sand and knotted from the soft water where we were now swimming together. I can’t help but feel a little proud of my work.
“You almost drowned so I would come and swim with you, Helen?” He looked through me as I nodded sheepishly, flustered and blushing from the couching fit. “My mate is a trickster.”
His lips brushed mine softly, taunting me at first, and I caught them at last, turning a once innocent moment of closeness to a hard grinding of our flushed bodies, needy and hot together in the water.
“Justin,” I purred through our locked lips.
He pulled away only a little, our foreheads still leaning on one another for support as we floated above the surface of the water. “Yes, dear?”
I hesitated, but I stopped our kiss to ask this, so I had to go ahead with my impulsive question. “Do you still love, me?”
He nodded right away. “I do. Why do you ask that?”
I dismissed his question and asked again, “Do you remember when I first met you, in that horrible wedding dress? Do you remember when I was talking about Scott leaving me for my question and you asked a question about love—about if I loved Scott?”
He nodded again and his smile was brushed away from his gorgeous lips. “Yeah. I remember that, too. Why are you asking all of these questions, Helen? I take you away to have a break from our problems and you want to talk about Scott?”
“No,” I gagged in reply. “Of course not. I just wanted to ask you, Justin. Do you love me for me, or because the bond tells you to?”
He looked taken aback from my question, the same question he asked me when we met, and he made such a valid point then that I couldn’t help but reference it now. I just wanted him to know that I noticed his apprehension with me, but I see the effort he is trying to offer back instead.
He is on the line of not trusting me or loving me, but to see him struggle with not being able to do both had overwhelmed me. his silence wasn’t helping either.
Maybe his Lycan won the battle in his mind.
“Helen,” he purred at last. “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?”
I felt my tears breach the surface but not fall yet; thankfully. “Yeah, I really do, Justin. Tell me the truth.”
“Truth it, mate, the bond does draw me into you in every way imaginable. My Lycan wants you constantly, my body wants yours at all times, and I can’t keep my head clear most days when you’re on my mind.”
I swallowed, feeling overwhelmed. “I under—”
“It’s you,” he hummed, speaking gently against my lips. “The bond is an aura, an instruction guide on who to love, but if that were always perfect, no one would ever get rejected, Helen.”
My throat got tight and I sat up in his arms, shivering with delight and happiness, so much so that I wanted to kiss him all over but he stopped me, brushing my hair back.
“Listen to me, my dear. Just for a moment.”
I leaned into his chest, his arms tighter around me than ever before, while I felt comfortable and safe in his strength. He kissed my temple, but he was holding back, I could feel it.
“You’re my mate. I will love you forever. But there is still something that holds me back and if you think I can forget what happened so easily, then I’m sorry, baby. You’re wrong.”
I felt the world crumble around me then, knowing my mate was going to speak of his pain once more and how he didn’t trust me. He would blame the moment I drove a knife into his spine, a moment he refused to listen to me about over and over again.
If there was some way I could show him, or have proof that I was correct, then he would understand.
He would forgive me.
“I want to let it go,” he whispered, holding me tighter. “But I can’t.”
I nodded, frustrated I even brought up this topic at all. I could have had Justin with me lovingly, attentive and simply ignorant. I could have avoided all of this right away but it was impossible for me not to ask. I wanted to know he still loved me.
He said he can’t trust me.
But it proves one thing by telling me this information—he will trust me once again. Maybe not soon, but eventually he would see the truth and accept what happened wasn’t my doing.
Until I could prove myself right, I had to accept his distrust. I kissed his lips and let go of him, his eyes sad and drawing down my frame under the crystal clear water.
I swam with him back to shore as he went back to cutting wood, leaving me to watch, cold and damp and longing for his mind and body to be in sync with mine.
I laid my head in the dry sand, uncaring of clothes or a towel, hoping that somehow my pitiful looks against his cold back would convince him to roll around the shore with me, but it was unlikely. So I accepted the fate and rested my eyes.
Opening them back up led me somewhere else, somewhere dark and freezing cold and brutally familiar to my mind and my body. I suffered an inhale, choking on the air and the lack there off, fighting through the smell of death and the sight of pixie dust sprinkled all over the floor around me.
I tried to look away from the familiar room, the terrible, decrepit dungeon, knowing that the only creatures to come in here, are to be killed. All except for me.
It makes me guilty to know how many pixies he plucked apart to torture me with but instead, I had to find my way out again. I pulled at the collar, fighting and kicking and screaming to be let free. It was just as pointless as it had been the first time.
“William!” I screamed, needing to be cut loose of this chain, of this damn dream. “William, you mangy mutt, let me out of here! Let me be with my mate, let me go, dammit!”
“He’s not here right now,” the voice of the Huntsman snarled from the shadows. “I can grab him but pulling in too many wolves in one vision is difficult, Luna. I don’t want to make your head explode.”
I flinched, feeling like as crazy as that may sound, it might be possible. I could identify this as the same type of space as the dream where he slapped me. I recalled bleeding afterwards, knowing that even though it isn’t reality, it could definitely wound me.
Maybe kill me; I wasn’t so sure of his powers.
“Why did you bring me back here?” I whispered.
He was still unseen, but his words were clear. “I just want chaos.”