Virgin Sacrifice to the Last Lycan - Chapter 156: Chapter 156

Helen’s POV
I stayed frozen but hopeful. I hadn’t been ordered back to our other house, and Justin hadn’t yelled at me for my outburst in public. After a moment, he turned around and rubbed both hands across his face, his head hanging. When he turned back, he stared straight at me and said, “I have a job for you, I guess.”
“You what?” I asked.
“I have a job for you,” he said more confidently.
All of a sudden, fear clawed its way into my throat. By job, did he mean that I was going to be banished back to a cell with the job of staying obedient? Was I going to be chained up again?
I ducked my head submissively. “Whatever you wish, Alpha,” I murmured through numb lips, trying to hold back whimpers at the idea of yet more punishment coming my way.
Justin growled, and tears filled my eyes. What about this response was wrong? What was I doing to upset him? I was trying to be as obedient as I could, but I wasn’t some robot that he could just program and have me run through every motion that he wished. I had a brain and a heart, and it had been through as much as I could take.
“Look at me, Mate,” he ordered.
I shook my head, keeping my face towards the floor.
“I said, look at me.” This time it was a direct order, and there was no way I could disobey.
I turned my face up, which allowed the tears to drip down my cheeks, leaving streaks of salty water behind.
Justin let out a huge sigh. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Sorry for what?” he demanded.
“For whatever it is that I’ve done that’s upset you. For all of it.”
Justin pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes a moment before looking at me again. “I’m sorry that your natural reaction to my mood should be fear.”
I shrunk back in on myself. “I don’t want to make you mad,” I said. “I just . . . I couldn’t take any more pain from you. And I’m sorry about the public outburst.”
I dropped to my knees, keeping my head bowed. “It was disrespectful of me to do that to an alpha, especially in front of the entire pack. I know you asked for me to be submissive. I’m trying my best. I just . . . your treatment of me all hurts.”
At this, I broke and started bawling like a small child.
He let out one furious growl and then crouched in front of me, grabbing the bottom of my chin and tipping my face up to look at him. “Stop crying,” he demanded.
My breaths hitched in my chest, and I tried to hold back the tears, but they just kept coming. I bit my lip to keep myself from whimpering. I didn’t know what else to do with him. I’d tried everything. I’d tried doing what he asked. I tried giving him the truth. I tried giving him all of me, and none of it was ever good enough.
And now, just like I thought, he was furious with me. I held his gaze for as long as I could, but the desire to creep away from him and be submissive to my alpha overruled my boldness. I lowered my eyes and backed away from him until he couldn’t hold my chin anymore without hurting me.
He let me go, and I dropped my face to the floor, curling in on myself. “I’m sorry. If you need to take me back and chain me up, go ahead. I just thought that . . . I don’t know what I thought,” I sobbed.
“I just knew something had to be different. I’ve tried every way that I can think of to express to you how sorry I am for what happened, that the stabbing was outside my control. That hurting you was not what I wanted to do. And I know that I hurt you. And I’ve tried so hard to do everything that you’ve asked of me and yet I still displease you. So, I thought . . .”
Words failed me, and I stayed cowering on the floor in front of my alpha. I heard him stomp across the house and slam out the door. This only caused me to cry harder.
I knew it. I knew I had upset him.
“Urg.” I didn’t look up when Russo made the noise in his throat, and then he continued speaking. “I’ll go get him,” he said. “Just give me a minute.”
The door opened and shut again, and Randy put his hand on my back, rubbing my shoulders gently. “I told you not to break,” he said quietly but firmly. “You need to stand firm. Your decision to demand better from him and take your own space was okay. When he comes back in, be the proud luna that you are. I stand up to him as Alpha.”
“You’re his beta,” I whimpered.
“And you’re his mate. You’re his Luna,” he reassured me. “That puts us on nearly equal footing when dealing with Justin. On some things, he will consider my opinion first, and every other opinion he cares about should be yours. Take your place. Demand that partnership as a right from him.”
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“Stop apologizing, Luna Helen!” Randy growled. “You’re better than this. You are not a cowering prisoner anymore. You are not a tiger lily beaten down by her family. You are a snow-white luna. You are an object of respect. Act like it.”
The door opened, and I looked up to see Russo and Justin walk back in. I quickly grabbed the bottom of my shirt and mopped my face off, then stood. I drew several deep breaths and stared at Justin.
“I don’t think I expressed myself very well,” I blurted. “I am sorry for any trouble that I’ve caused. And I’m sorry for everything that’s going wrong between us. But I’m not sorry for deciding that I need space.”
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything.
The same defiance that I had felt in the square started to squirm back up through my chest. I put my hands out in front of me, ready to be cuffed. “Say something, Justin, or lead me away and put me back in shackles. But don’t just stand there and make me wonder what it is that you’re thinking. Because every time I try to catch up with where your mind has gone, I’m wrong. Don’t make me guess and be wrong again.”
“I can’t do this,” he muttered and turned around so he couldn’t see my face. “I understand your reason for taking the space from me,” he said finally. “Russo and I had a long discussion about the benefits that such an arrangement might have for both of us.”
I gapped at his back. “Then you’re not mad?”
“Mad isn’t the right word,” he said. “Oh, my lycan is furious. He would like to clamp down on your throat, throw you to the ground, and show you who was in charge. But my lycan and I have differing opinions on this.”
“Then what’s your opinion, Justin?” I urged.
“I’m saddened and hurt. But in the end, I get it. Russo pointed out that we’ve both done nothing but hurt each other. And I don’t think you understand how much it pains me to hear you say things like you have no idea how to even decorate a house because no one’s ever given you the opportunity to choose anything for yourself. It makes me feel like I should have given you a house long ago and the freedom to do whatever you wanted with it.”
Justin still wouldn’t look at me, but he did continue talking, “I’ve decided to permit you to stay here on your own for the time being.”